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Heaven Holds a Sense of Wonder
I'm moved and life is sweet. I've actually been here a couple weeks now. 'tis awesome. Full of the awesome. I love my new friends. In fact, I'm pretty fucking trashed right now, but that's okay. ...so the impossible happened. I actually developed an enormous crush on someone. ...huge, which I don't do, because...I hate devoting myself and my time to anyone. But I absolutely adore this guy...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! Because...he is engaged. How fucking like my life. Ah well, it will go away. Give it a week. I hope. This had better be nothing stupid childish infatuation or I will never forgive myself. EVER. I'm not that kind of girl and I won't let myself be taken in by pety attachments to anything but what's important in my life right now. God, maybe I'm just cold but whatever. My wrist hurts. I'm going to bed.

Current Mood: artistic artistic
Current Music: Deep Forest::Gathering

indgule yourself or indulge me
Who is Jeb? Why is he calling me? Who else has my roommate lent my phone number to and put into my address book? Whatever. God I'm hungry. Been drawing a lot lately and haven't really accomplished anything worth talking about. So to lead myself back on the pavement before I hit the ditch and suffer another long and nasty art slump, I watched Vampire Hunter D and some Escaflowne last night. It helped. :) Yuck, I hate that drawing I have on deviantart right now! Ah well. I'm at my dad's house right now. I wanted to scan some artwork but...I forgot it at home. Too bad, there were a few things I'm proud of but it's better to wait 'til I'm all moved in so I can finally CG something again. God I hope I haven't gotten crappy at it since it's been such a long time. I went on a vanity tour and got new shoes and a new Tool shirt. And new socks. Got the shoes from Payless and the shirt and socks from Hot Topic (yeah I know, those socks will have holes in them by the end of the month). Life is infinitely boring and ghoulish at the moment so I leave you now. Gonna go gnaw on whatever roadkill I come across first...but hopefully I'll make it to the chinese resteraunt before I get that desperate. :) ciao!

Aki Shimizu himself. Ain't he cute? :)

Current Mood: hungry hungry
Current Music: Blue October::James

indulge me
Hurk. Well I helped my roommate move in her stuff. She's all set. I'm going in this Saturday. Our place is HUGE! We have a porch, a fireplace, a dishwasher, and two bathrooms! And a huge kitchen and living room and we're surrounded by trees and...ahhhh. It's awesome. Now I just need a job. Shouldn't be too hard. Only bad part 'bout this week is...well two things. I cut off all ties with my old "best friend"...wait that's not bad. That makes me feel great! Bitch. I guess my only gripe is my cold, but I got medicine today and it's starting to work. Actually, I have a huge gripe. My landlord is pissed because my apartment looks like hell (thanks old roommate). Arrrgh...I guess I better leave and start cleaning that up actually, but first...lunch. :)

oh yeah...Suikoden 3 vol. 6 is OUT! I wonder how long it's been out? Barnes & Noble isn't carrying it...odd. Oh well, I found it at B. Dalton. IT'S OUT! IT'S AWESOME! Aki Shimizu is the shit. Two and a half more months before Qwan vol. 2. Rargh. Ah well.

yuushi *squeal*

Current Mood: busy busy
Current Music: Delerium-Silence

indgule yourself or indulge me
Haven't been up here lately. No time, though. Ugh. I've been working my ass off latley. But it's okay, I don't complain because I love the hours and I'm used to this double-shift business. And I still have time to get drunk...oh like right now. *snort* Yeah, and before 9:30...that's not good, actually. But oh well. Cinco de Mayo, that's my excuse. If any random numbers or letters appear in this entry, do try to ignore them as my hands are not currently in sync with my mind. Moving day is soooon! No more drama no more drama *dances*! So anyway, recently I've purchased Star Ocean (yeah the first one because I only recently got the hours I desire at work, thus have lots of left over money). Love it, but I'm horribly lost in Aquaria right now. Also purchased the Suffering. Good. My general manager let me borrow Fatal Frame, which is FUCKING scary! But so much fun. Good God Damn my general manager is cool! I love the folks at work. Today I made this one chick, who has worked there a lot longer than me and is therefore faster and more efficient than me, drop her jaw at all the work I had done when she came in for her shift. Totally speechless until she said "I'm PROUD of you, girl! If only you weren't moving before I make Supervisor because corporate would never go a day without hearing about you!". That made me feel great, because this girl is HARD to please! She can even be a complete cunt but she likes me! *struts* I do work my ass off, though. That's why I'm so fucking tired. Heh. Let's see...couple weeks ago my friend invited me over to watch a hentai series with her. It was pretty good. Interesting I guess...there wasn't really anything in there that made my day. ...why do I need to be talking about this? YIKES! So...okay, I'm not sober enough to continue. Because I'll go on forever, and I still have other things to do online before I head over to Barnes and Noble. So g'bye!

Current Mood: drunk drunk
Current Music: Prodigy-Firestarter

indgule yourself or indulge me
I have all the ideas for a drawing I want to do in my head, my limit is my materials. Argh. I still have some bristol left over though, but I have like...no pens. None. And certainly nothing to color it with. I have some crayola colored pencils but...yuck. Ah well. I decided to do more than jeans and a t-shirt today. I look like a real modern-day hippie. I ganked a lot of jewelry from my roommate for it, too. *laff* I don't care. If she's going to leave her bracelets and shit all over the house, I'm just gonna wear it. She's at work right now. I dropped her off and...didn't really feel like going home after that (especially since parking will be haneous). Yesterday was the WORST day of my life. The closing shift girl had to go to the emergency room (I wonder if she's okay?) so my manager had me call people to see if they could come in. Nobody could do it. Everybody had a good excuse 'cept for one person...my friend who was just recently hired. The one that always flirts with my MARRIED manager. She's pissing me off...a lot. Day by day she just...disgusts me even more. She couldn't come into work because she wanted to travel an hour away just to have sex with some guy that really has no feelings for her whatsoever. DUH DUH DUH!!! She is BLIND! URRGH! She said she would try to get back into town as soon as she could, so my manager and I didn't completely panick until it hit 7:00 and she still wasn't there, hadn't even called. Nothing. So I called her and asked her if she was coming in at all. She said "Yeah I'll try". Fucking...cunt. So I worked a double-shift because she is unreliable as hell. I really don't want to see her for a couple of days. I saw her car at work when I dropped my roommate off (we work right next door to each other). Normally, I would have gone in to visit her and see how she was doing. But...I don't wanna see her. I can't wait to move. Once again, I can't wait to move. Surprisingly, though, my roommate was really nice to me after I got home from work last night. She let me rant and cuss and bitch and then she bought me dinner! Woah! :) Yay. And this morning I bought a cute shirt from her for the price of a pack of Marlboro Red 100s. Mwaha. Score. I don't have to work until 2:15. I dunno what to do in the mean time. I am rather hungry but I don't know where I want to go eat. Man, if I had a mixer last night, I would have been wasted. It would have felt really good, too, after yesterday. But I was forced to remain sober. HOWEVER, I went without a cigarette for 7 1/2 HOURS YESTERDAY! That is SO good for me! Ahh, it is so warm outside...but a little windy. Which is bad when you're wearing nothing but a sarong. *squeak* That is all there is to say. My life is quite boring at the moment. Hurk.

Current Mood: determined determined
Current Music: Oceania // Union

indgule yourself or indulge me
I lied...I don't feel like going home yet...not 'til they kick me out of here. Somebody is expecting me to call them, but I really think I'd rather go home and get some sleep then hear about their oh-so-awful sexual frustration and how badly they want to get in the pants of my MARRIED manager/friend. So home it is. Clean up a little bit...maybe play a little Fable...set my clock ahead and then take a nap. A long nap. ...get something delivered for dinner. Y'know that angst I said I'd keep in my head? Deal with it. When I move out my current place and move in with a roommate I can trust, life will be a lot better. And I'll have every game system! ...'cept a PSP. Oh how I wish I had one. ALL my managers have one now, and they always bring it into work and say "OH PAULA, LOOK WHAT I GOT! WOULDN'T YOU JUST LOOOVE TO HAVE ONE?" Argh. Bastards, but they're all cool. ...y'know I really don't look like a Paula. I'm short. Really short. I bet that bit of information just gave you a blood clot in your brain! *laff* Haven't called my folks in a while. It'd be nice if they could call ME on occassion. Seriously. Like it costs us anything, we all have AT&T. But they're just never...in the mood I guess. Such is the way of life after you move out. The other thing about it is how many people you consider "friends" will suck the life out of you. Everyone I know right now does it. Everyone I'm going to abandon after I move out. Anybody who criticizes you for having no money almost all the time is NOT somebody you should be devoting your time to...because they just want to get shit from you. Believe me...I KNOW! I'd be in a much better situation right now, too, if they weren't so damn needy...and if I wasn't such a damn push-over. Argh. I hate being rude or mean or insensitive. The sad part is I know I'm being used but for some reason I keep believing they really do care about me. Well...FUCK THAT. I'm moving...soon. One more month. I'll be far away from them. KC's a big place. I hope I never see any of them again.

gotta go bye</font>
indulge me
Phew. Poor account. Just created it and it's already being neglected. Argh. Been drawing like crazy lately, which is good. I had been going through a nearly 3 month long spree of no drawing or writing. I'm in the library right now. Some creepy old guy keeps staring at me. I got a new manga, too. It's called Qwan. I got it because it's done by Aki Shimizu, same artist that does the Suikoden III manga. SO GOOD. Mmmm...Yuushi. Seems I had more to say...well I did, but it's all angst. So forget it. My personal journal has enough of that to go around twice. Well, I'm gonna go home and do laundry I 'spose, but first I gotta look up Qwan stuff. Heee...

Current Mood: distressed distressed
Current Music: Delerium // Silence ft. Sarah Mchaldkjwhatan

indgule yourself or indulge me
First entry destined to make you want to cry...out of boredom. Like..."why did this girl even MAKE a journal?". I bought some new shit. Heh. Delerium's greatest hits album! The Appleseed soundtrack! Tool, Lateralus (because my old one was STOLEN!). And a cool new sarong and bedspread. The sarong has lizards on it. The bedspread has a dragon. Eee, lizards. And clothes. I got new clothes. A Perfect Circle t-shirt and what I call "slut pants". My ass looks great. Hey, before you judge me, I'm not vain. No more than the next guy. Heh. Tool's in the studio! Tool! Not a Perfect Circle, but TOOL! I love APC, but I miss Tool so much. Ah...to think I could have been in Denver last weekend to see DJ Micro. I hate my life. But I'm trying to make a good entry back to the internet. I don't know ANYONE! So...if you find me on your friends list (if I can figure out all this crap) it's because...I'm needy. It's been a ridiculously long time. I used to type like...90 wpm and now I'm a slug. I have nothing good to say here. Argh. Somebody gimme a boost.

Current Mood: chipper chipper
Current Music: Delerium::Terra Firma

indgule yourself or indulge me