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Elrond altered2

He's Still the Man of My Life: Sonny Preyer

Posted [sticky post] on 2006.05.12 at 18:08
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
It's been years and years, and I'm still in love with this guy.

I suggest that you read through the introduction before following the links below. The links are there for added information, but are not vital, since everything will unfold in the story. (The links contain definite SPOILERS). Header and Warning found here. Enjoy.


He was born to keep a promise.

Not even death will let him break it.

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Sonny Preyer

A Fairy Tale

of a different Kind

Copyright 2002 Bridgette H.



Sonny is an Illumenae.

Only one can walk the Earth at a time.

The Illumenae came about because some wise souls believed that those who cherish peace should not have to suffer those who relish war. They are individuals bred for one purpose, to renew the Promise that gives peace to the people of the The Realm. It is a genetic Promise, kept through propagation. And Sonny Preyer does not yet know that he is one of them.

Sonny is an instrument of power. He cannot defend himself, for deliberately harming another goes against his own life-giving energy. But harm finds those who provoke him, who threaten him, for his own power is confined within an infallible human adolescence, and has ways of escaping him.

Sonny is a brilliant, if troubled, student at Silver Springs High. Stigmatized by his fragile health, and medical secrets, his only consolation among his peers is a singing voice that makes even his bullies stop and listen.

The people in Sonny’s life are not who they seem to be:
Dr. Sanders, a prudent physician, has taken a special interest in him since birth, and limits his home practice to Sonny's needs alone. His school friend Brecca, and her cousin Elden, appear to have a sudden and inexplicable need for Sonny’s companionship. Shore, the new school counselor, says very little to Sonny, but is careful to watch his every move. Cale is the friend Sonny cannot remember having. And even Sonny’s parents, Amber and Dom Preyer, haven’t been entirely honest with their son.

His dreams of going to college come to an end when he is violently recalled to a world he once knew. The Realm is a green and abundant land, long forgotten within the vaults of his soul's memory. It is a world of castles, of sorcery, and of deadly magic. Here, every stranger knows the intimate secret Sonny takes great pains to keep hidden, and either loves him or despises him for it. Here, warriors vow to protect him from an enemy whose desire for him is as powerful as Sonny himself.

It is up to Sonny to find his way home from this place, where so much is expected of him. But first he has to face the one entity who stands in his way. Dastas.

Chapter One:
Part one
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven

Friends can find Sonny here. Thanks

Go to sonnypreyer.com

Join Sonny's update list!


George Michael, You Graduated!

Posted on 2016.12.26 at 21:41
How crazy. On the morning of Dec 24th, I had the urge to find an old George Michael song that I never fully appreciated. Praying for Time. I found it on Youtube and took a moment to listen to some old stuff. Today I read that George Michael died yesterday. To me, he graduated. All the musicians/actors, etc. who gave me at least one great moment through their music and work, also inspired me to imagine a realm where we're all in school, we're all classmates, and we all take turns in different roles, no matter what our time on Earth looks like.

This got me thinking, we know why it hurts when a loved one passes, but when someone passes that you, apparently, had no relationship with, and it makes you think and feel for them, your spirit DID have a relationship with them. Your spirit did love them. And that's very real. I wasn't a huge fan, but dang if I don't feel shaken every time someone who made me care in a personal way, even a little bit, exits this world. It makes me realize that love really does connect everyone and the spirit recognizes God's value of everyone, whether we ever spoke to that person or not. Many blessings to George Michael.

The song below (to me) is the cry of humanity to God, crying the way an uncomprehending child cries to an adult. Only love and time will help the child to understand, not judgement or punishment

Thank you forever, Allen Rickman. You've graduated.

Pic courtesy of Warner at


It's been years since I last celebrated the HP epic with a post. Mixed feelings and inconsiderate remarks on my part left my journal in ruins. Emotions ran high back then! How silly now, but also great that fiction like Harry Potter can inspire people to passionate feelings. Thank you again, J K Rowling, for all your work.
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I watched all the movies back to back recently, and awakened a new appreciation for the journey. It really is a feast for the mind, for those of us with a taste for special, extraordinary boys. Snape was my second favorite character and only made Harry's scenes stronger. Feared having my heart broke at seeing him die again (could only watch that last movie once, was so wrong!) But on second viewing, with the cushion of years between the two, I was able to focus on the beauty of his role finally being revealed to Harry. That uplifted me a lot. I was too hurt to really appreciate it the first time. Noticed plot details this time that I didn't remember from the books. It was satisfying to see Malfoy's character allowed to return to a more substancial performance. Tom Felton showed considerably more talent than all the other child actors in the beginning, in spite of having a smaller role. Glad we had to take him seriously in the end. Love seeing him pop up in movies. And of course, it was wild seeing Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint grow as actors the way they all did. Their transformations are beautiful.

All of it was a better experience than the one I let myself have years ago. Except the ending, the last 15 minute summary of their lives, that's still too painful to let play out. Would love to see a resurgence of Harry as a young man and childless (because he's the special one. It's all about him.) and the subject of his sexuality going unconfirmed, just to keep the mystery open-ended. I had a great time revisiting JK Rowling's world.
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This is an old artlicle, but still relevant to cencorship and healing with the written word. I caution sensitive readers to think twice before reading beyond thest first two paragraphs. It's a look at why some writers have to go where others fear to tread. For me, it became a way to deal with the trauma of being held back in the fifth grade. Fictional rape encompasses the shame and humiliation that I felt as a 'failure', that I could not process unless I gave it to fictional characters. Through them, I loved and healed, and found tremendous therapy. Rape in fiction is how I’ve learned to take the hurt out of my own humiliation and put it somewhere else. This confines it to a reality where I control all the pain. It doesn’t control me...

It’s like facing a bully. What once terrified me, has become mine to command, to make dance like a puppet on strings for my entertainment. Little did I know that such content would become the scarlet letter of fiction. Any writer worth their salt has to write about what bothers them, what hurts them, what scares the hell out of them, as well as what makes them happy. You can’t dissect this from the writing experience and still have something worth reading about.

This piece is published elsewhere and was originally titled, Rape Fiction VS Rape Reality.
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Some of us try too hard to get what we want, and that's a sure indication that we fear we will not get what we want. That fear is just as active and influencing in our lives as the inspiration that we also feel. We forget that a cell knows how to divide and become a human being. A seed knows how to become a great Oak Tree. And a heart knows how to beat without instruction from our so-called superior intellect. A trillion calculations go on inside our bodies, just so that we can walk from one side of the room to the other. So it is, everything knows it's own order.
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This is for all the hard working people out there. We come from certain thinking, thinking that places the value of a human being on how hard that person can work and earn their keep. It's taught as a great work ethic, but it sure sounds like slavery to me, (all races and cultures suffered for that, not trying to bring anyone down). So we only value ourselves when we work hard. We work so hard that we wish things could be easier. We beg for easier while being driven to work harder.

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Learn to get the best from yourself.

Always have something to look forward to.

Whatever’s wrong, it always passes.

You deserve to be happy. Learn what that takes,Read more...Collapse )



Posted on 2014.06.25 at 17:00

THANK YOU TO THIS TEAM OF BEAUTIFUL DANCERS! I don't know who you are, but I hope to see more of you!

Title: Ender's Home
Author: Ca_tharsis_
Pairing: Ender/Peter
Warning: Nothing canon about it.
Rating: Take a chance.
Disclaimer: Made it up. Orson Scott-Card is the genius.
Summary: Seventeen year-old Ender is sent home after Commander School, and after his promotion to Admiral. Valentine and Peter are starting families of their own and Ender wonders where he fits in.

From the attic window, he watched for Valentine's Car. His personal console, a membrane-thin band around his wrist, kept him informed of her car's distance, her vital signature, and that of her unborn child's, as well as constants and fluctuations in various security checks around him. A third signature told him that Peter had agreed come along.

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Ender's Guilt

Posted on 2013.12.06 at 18:21
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Ok, saw Ender's Game and I can't get it out of my mind. Not entirely comfortable with this since the main star is an under aged, slash worthy, Asa Butterfield. The filmmakers did too great a job turning him into a little man, worthy of my respect. I have a thing for geniuses anyway. Throw in his innocence and adult turmoil, and my heart didn't stand a chance.
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OMG! Sonny is number 19 in Amazon's top 100 Epic Fantasies. He's in the Free list, but so is Terry Goodkind, a best-selling author. I don't know if this has any credibility, but it nice! Hope I get to stay up there a while.



Sonny Preyer FREE on Kindle for 5 days

Posted on 2013.02.02 at 19:58

Sonny Preyer Vol. 1, is going free on Amazon's Kindle for the next 5 days, starting Feb. 3rd. And one free copy of any volume of Sonny Preyer that any reader wants, will be given in exchange for leaving a review on Sonny's Kindle page. This is for a limited time period. So please tell your friends and stop by to leave a review yourself. Liz, I was sure to give you credit for editing. :-)



I've been away for a while

Posted on 2013.01.05 at 22:22
About me: I express my opinions and tastes here and talk about my writing. I'm not looking to offend anyone, but I warn you that might happen. I come across as overly critical and argumentative when I just think I'm being engaging and delightful. Oh, and I like it when men are attracted to each other (Slash!). If you don't mind me, I don't mind your reading. If you must comment, be nice. If you must criticize, make an effort to do so without being hateful or ugly. Friends welcomed. Haters will be deleted from my world. If I've said something hurtful, just explain it to me instead of being bitchy. Not that that's ever happened before. Now, lets take our coffee onto the balcony and talk books.

This is Garett Maggart who will be reprising his role as Dr. Joe McKay in D. L. Warner's and Jon Cunningham's Demon Under Glass web production. I hope I did the credits right. I have not yet asked for permission to use this pic (from the DUG site: http://www.dragoncor.com/demon.htm) because I recently bombarded Mrs. Warner with gushing sentiments of admiration and I'm afraid she'll think I'm stalking her if I contact her again too soon.

My god, he's aged well. See his "The Sentinal" days in the post below. Notice the family resemblance to his beautiful sister, Fiona Apple. You know, he really seems like a great sport when it comes to the whole slash-fandom thing. At least, that's what I gather from Mrs. Warner's teasing and deliberately vague comments which indicate he's well aware that he and his male co-star, might "do it" and humorously accepts the need for lube and condoms, though he may not be crazy about being a 'bottom,' (which I'm totaly rooting for). I'm paraphrazing from Warner's blog here, which I'm not linking to because it seems really peaceful over there, just the way she wants it (I'm assuming).


Posted on 2012.05.01 at 17:38
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I think they did it for their fangirls and boys. I love it. Thanks, guys.



Posted on 2012.03.03 at 11:14



I don't write pornography and I don't write erotica. Nothing against them. But taste-wise, one is too unchallenging to keep me awake and the other is too bland (which is too challenging to keep me awake). What I do, is look for the struggle between the body and the mind when sex is at its most complicated, and I write about that emotional, mental struggle. Certain characters lend themselves to this. It's like trying to capture that convulsive, involuntary moment during sex and just before the stimulus becomes more than what is bearable and more than what is pleasurable, then weaving that throughout the length of a novel.

It's taken a long time to figure out why I need Sonny to suffer as exquisitely as he does (or Joe McKay or Blair Sandburg, etc.) I'm on a Garret Maggart kick, thanks to D.L. Warner (no, really. Thank you!) I live in my mind and it demands more than the physical and social arenas can give. More than any temporary relief. It demands a fight. Friction and force. 'Wrestling with an angel,' is the phrase that comes to mind. Conflict where the prize is worth more than anything found on earth - and only the mind can do that. Pornography has no such ambition, which is fine sometimes. And erotica (she says sarcastically) seems too timid to meet eye to eye with that violent, involuntary, convulsive...moment, to investigate it and see what it's really made of. I've never found out what it's made of (and my sex scenes still need work) but I did find out where my characters come from. They come from a sexuality that takes a sweeping observation of life, the world, relationships of all kinds and concludes, "That's not enough, I want more." So I make it up.

This is why I have a character who's masculine identity conceals a feminine core. What better way to render him helpless than to force him to feel a woman's climax? (After all, I'm a man in a woman's body so I only know what female orgasms feel like and I don't think men can handle them. Just joking! - no, I'm not.) Okay, the guy in me is joking and the female is dead serious.

In a society, apparently, dominated by what men think is great entertainment, their "hit it and quit it" preference for damsels in distress (look at the books, movies, fairy tales, book covers, posters, from beginning to today, an ocean of women in tears and torn dresses, terrorized, abused, stalked...) or, women of such mythological strength and dominance (all packaged in your choice of shiny black rubber or classic nude) that they might as well be gorgeous men with breasts and vaginas, how else can I give into my sweet tooth for a male who is thrown into danger, dominated and ravished every bit as thoroughly as any damsel - but by another man - without compromising the handsome quality of his masculine appeal? (No, prison movies just don't get it. And before you judge me - you know who you are - I can tell the difference between fantasy and reality just fine, and am not wishing harm on anyone. So take a step back!) Well, I never found a great answer to that, but I'm still working on it.

I know, that paragraph has more problems than a... than something that has lots of problems.

This all reminds me of Garret Maggart (wow, two last names) and his wonderful contribution to the Fangirl Foundation Sugarbowl Fundraiser(I'm 42), which is badly in need of quality contributions, as seen here. Reconvene in 15 minutes. Sentinel fans, talk amongst yourselves. You've already seen this.

And this:
ANGEL (That kiss near the end looks premeditated on Richard's part and quite real)

And this:

Thank you Garret Maggart, Richard Burgi, Alfnrns, CelestialMoonDragon, Quantum861 and Youtube for those lovely, slashy contributions, which I would pay good money to see in the form of a serious movie (shout out to all you movie and entertainment investors!).

Which brings me to my next point. I came up with a character who comes close to the one I'm interested in, but I had to build an entire world and premise around him to pull it off. No apologies. Years after the fact, I'm still inspired by Sonny. I didn't think I would be. But that's the thing about books and fiction, mental dramatic intimacy vs. graphic intimacy, and mundane heroes vs. fearsome angels. One sits on the surface for but a moment, subject to be replaced by the next stimulus, while the other sinks like rain into soil, deep into the interior of the psyche, becoming a perpetual stimulus and achieving reality that no physical thing can compete with because the characters fill my mornings, afternoons, and nights (shout out to Tally!) long after I've closed the books and no matter who I'm with or who's talking to me. Yes, it's that good. Heaven. And I'm supposed to give this up for a so-called "normal" existence? Normal, by whose standards? Fuck that. If you should be so lucky as to find a sliver of bliss in this world - that isn't hurting anyone - just go with it.

This chat was inspired by:
Time off work,
Demon Under Glass (novel)
D. L. Warner
Garret Maggart (as Joe McKay and Blair Sandburg)
Jason Carter (as Molinar)
Richard Burgi
Sonny Preyer (my baby)
Every great character I have ever come across, who cannot possibly exist in real life, and therefore cannot be limited by it.

- The Sonny Preyer Chronicles

Book: Demon Spawn, On the Run by D.L. Warner

This book has a disclaimer written by D.L.'s husband, Jon Cunningham. At first this confused me. Why would a book need a disclaimer? As soon as I got to the first page, I saw why. As a fan of Mrs. Warner, I paid for one style, one genius, and got something else. Oh to be sure, she delivered in the end, but I almost didn't get to the end.

I gave this book five stars based on its last thirty-five pages alone. D.L Warner's part. I found it mind-boggling that D.L. seems to have so little regard for her unique writing "voice" in this story that she would entrust others to write it for her. Considering how wonderful her talent is, that's just crazy. Fan-fic can be awesome, but next to the meat and potatoes of real writing... not so much this time. It's her Joe and her Molinar that I fell in love with. You don't get that in these other stories. You don't get anything remotely close to the strength of her unadorned narrative, the implicit attraction shown through action, and all that great sexual tension between the lines of convincing masculine men. My god, it's disappointing. But D.L. Warner delivers in the end. The very end.

I've read the last 35 pages over and over again, just trying to hang on to the thrill of Molinar's desire for Joe. And in many ways, this last chapter by D.L. more than makes up for the other styles. I don't want to give anything away, but I love the path that she puts these men on, how she makes it all look so reasonable. With Molinar and Joe on the run, they have no choice but to grow dependent on each other to survive. But it's not a gritty, miserable survival. It's full of warmth, wealth, technical savvy, and options for a new life, all balancing on Joe's decent into psychological shock as he lets Molinar take the lead. Joe really has to adjust, and D.L. shows him trying as other characters, such as Ethan, react strongly in response to Joe's delima. (I got such a kick outa that! "Jesus, Joe...") It's as if Joe, pushing himself to stay functional, doesn't realize he's close to a nervous breakdown. His life has been yanked from under his feet, with only Molinar's vital resources to save him. Things brighten for him, but he's realistically conflicted right to the last page. It stays with you.

I'm not a fan of romance (unless it's hard and strong like this story), but when I read Molinar saying of the necklace he ripped from Joe's neck in the first novel, "I took it [the caduceus necklace] because I couldn't take you with me," my heart nearly came out of my chest. Sure, Molinar's still a murdering bastard who gets off on playing rough, but he's downright charming when it comes to Joe. Until he gets jealous or horny, then the darker side looms. Love it! There is more intensity in these few pages than in most of the full-length novels I've read. It's a damn shame that D.L. Warner hasn't given us a full-length sequel.

So, the book is WORTH buying and treasuring, but only because of the last amazing 35 pages of Mrs. Warner's genius.
Side note, she did get a little lazy on the sex scenes, but I can live with it. More please.

Between the movie and the book, I ache for more. The Doctor/Vampire relationship (I absolutely do not have a thing for vampires. I hate vampires! But this one rocks!!) has me scouring the web for any sign of more from D.L. Warner and her husband, Jon Cunningham. And that's after 3 years of first having read the book.

It DOESN'T MATTER that the quality of the movie suffers from the low budget. After you read the book and see the movie and really understand what's been accomplished through a good script, excellent acting, and the chemistry of the main characters, "Joe" and "Molinar" (Garett Maggartt and Jason Carter), you see that it is a treasure worth keeping. I'm so glad that the novel-turned-movie was taken seriously and not camped up too much, stylized, or deemed "quirky". The story paints a serious world of unethical research, government-type cover ups, and an innocent, compassionate doctor caught in the middle. This is done convincingly and detailed in amazingly very few pages! (way too short, but a testament to the gravity and power of the story).

The movie tries to follow the novel, but understandably cannot go the distance. I only regret that the dream sequence was more clearly indicated as such, and that the ending could've played out true to the novel. (The things Molinar says to Joe, to assure him that he's not really going to hurt him during his escape, are hot as hell.) And it's even more intense that Joe doesn't even realize how badly the vampire wants him and exactly what his intentions are. (I love "the chase", the one character not giving it up too easily to the other.) It made me wonder at the reason for leaving certain gay content out, when clearly the team was professional, danced awfully close to the gay theme, arriving short of being too obvious, but not obvious enough in my opinion. I mean finally, a suspenseful, psychological, dramatic work of fiction (in spite of the blood) that has two men - who can be taken seriously - bound in a complicated attraction that doesn't disappoint with predictable, disposable sex, but continues to pull the sexual tension taut well after the last page. It's the best kind of sex - Molinar's violent desire for Joe, Joe keeping his distance. Hot hot hot! And it does go on to deliver the goods, but that's another novel. *cough* (D.L. Please write more! You have the makings of something great.)

All of the actors were perfect. I was especially impressed with the lady cop as well as the scientists. Taken in its entirety, this is a very special project (movie and book should be experienced together by M/M lovers) and worth so much more than what I paid for it, in terms of what one looks for in a fulfilling novel/movie experience.
Thank you thank you thank you, D.L. and Jon! After 3 years, I still hurt for more.

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