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17 April 2010 @ 11:20 pm
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Maya Angelou
13 March 2010 @ 02:21 am
Okay I'll admit. I've been too lazy to update this space like I used to... Life's been too boring to blog about, and let's be honest: Tumblr is so much easier and more fun to use >< 

Whatever it is, I will not let LJ die like that because it has followed me faithfully for the past few years of my teenage angsty emotional life. So a quick update (to whoever still reads this piece of shit):

  • Am in the midst of Uni applications
  • Sick of work (but need the income)
  • Bored and boring
  • Missing Joey every minute of every day <3
  • Hope I make it to Uni >< Else plan B will be rather reluctantly executed
  • Ta da. Told you my life was boring.
Current Mood: blahblah
23 February 2010 @ 12:34 am
credit to nique 
If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.
Está perdido, mi número uno.
Current Mood: blahblah
14 February 2010 @ 11:45 pm
It's one of those days where I feel like my whole life's been a waste. On top of the fact that it's the first day of Chinese New Year and I'm on the first day of my period (which means I had killer cramps the ENTIRE day visiting and entertaining relatives), life just seems so monotonous and everything I considered important and meaningful to me suddenly doesn't feel that way anymore.

I never realised how lonely I felt till Joey left for the army last weekend... It's sad, really. That my world just stops revolving without him. I just thought that I could confide in my closest friends anytime anywhere which would make the pain more bearable but I guess it's not working out very well. The past few incidences when I needed someone the most other than Joey, nobody was there to pick me up. And the people I thought I could depend on, were the very opposite of that. I know my friends love me and care for me, and I love them too. I'll always have their back. It's just that when push comes to shove, the human race does things for its own benefit and places self before others. It's just how the world works, it's how everyone is. Not that it's wrong, because I guess to an extent, I'm like that too. 

Lately I've just been too tired to care about what's going on in others' lives. And like a boomerang, that effect seems to bounce back to my peers as well, because no one really takes the initiative to text or call or whatever. Not unless someone needs something from me. But yknw what, I completely understand because they've got their lives too.

There are people out there, of course, who are exceptions of the rule; people like (though I hate to admit), Joey's friends. Despite them having lives too, it's rather heartwarming to see that they care enough to ask about how Joey is coping in the army and all that jazz, calling him the moment he's booked out of camp. It does make me jealous sometimes, but I'm glad at least Joey has the honour and opportunity of having met people like that.

I have no motive in this post, just that of rambling and filling this dying piece of online crap. All in all, I'm just tired... Of people. I've never felt more alone and of a loner than ever, than now. But it's okay, I really feel quite okay. At least I know I have myself, and God too. 
03 February 2010 @ 12:00 pm

  • Feeling dispensable and replaceable,
  • Myself for feeling jealous over this. I feel so fucking immature.
  • Running saikang errands that involve roaming about the entire streets of Bugis
  • The fact that Joey is enlisting this Saturday
  • My incredible friends, Chris and Char and Hannah hahaha <3
  • Joey Koh <3
  • And how he's so patient and endearing
  • Wednesday nights
  • Work when there's Jamie (I am so lonely todaaay)
Current Mood: boredbored
30 January 2010 @ 01:59 am

credit to tiramisus 

"Along the way, I’ve learned that you can’t let anyone in too far and you can’t trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you’re broken, you’ll never be fully fixed."

It's odd how Work is the only time of the day where I feel carefree.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
23 January 2010 @ 01:00 am
  •  Life seems so aimless without having to go to school :/
  • Note: I DO NOT MISS SCHOOL. I just feel a little lost!
  • I finally found a job. Yay/nay? Hahah happy because I finally have something to do and I won't be so broke anymore, but I can't have much free time to bum around and shop :(
  • I can't wait for F+TM & The xx concert :) :) :)
  • A level results are looming near. FML.
  • Joey is enlisting soon, </3
  • I don't really know what my next step in life is. Like, can I even ENTER uni??? And even if I do (by God's grace), I still don't really know what course to take :/
  • Sigh I think I'm having an early case of mid life crisis HAHAHA who am I kidding.
Cell tomorrow, looking forward to it. Sorry I've been neglecting You, God. You know I don't mean to :(
Current Mood: calmcalm
21 January 2010 @ 01:10 am

credit to lightened 

"That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love. Well, it works both ways."
--Fight Club
20 January 2010 @ 01:45 am

Maybe our love will catch like fire, as it burns through me ♥
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: anberlin
15 January 2010 @ 11:21 am

If there was only one concert I could EVER attend in my entire life from here on now, it would be this. F+TM with The xx are going to be EPIC. I don't care if the world ends after 7 Feb. THAT'S how epic it'll be. Life seems so complete lol.

Right, well back to reality. I'm unemployed, broke and lonely (after 6 Feb, that is). Omg I sound like one of those dropouts who just got fired from their job at the diner's (or Macdonald's) because they were too preoccupied listening to their obscure music on their mp3 players during work. HAHAHA.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic