urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_ brought you to tears again Eriena//Brendan of Keirnan 2009-07-18T11:11:01Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:27224 2009-07-18T11:11:01Z 2009-07-18T11:11:01Z <b>[Filter: Hayden]</b><br /><br />She is not a horsethief. She is Lady Elthea of House Lireth, who is not dead after all, and she is <i>gone</i> and no matter how hard I <i>try</i>, I cannot <i>find</i> her. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:26895 2009-07-10T08:19:46Z 2009-07-10T08:19:46Z <b>[Filter: Dame Lila]</b><br /><br />D-do not panic. We will find her, of course. Any moment now, in fact.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Elthea]</b><br /><br /><i>Where</i> are you? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:26732 2009-07-07T03:04:19Z 2009-07-07T03:04:19Z <b>[Filter: Elthea]</b><br /><br />Well, Lady Elthea, you should be glad to know that I have done my very best and pulled every string I have access to, and I believe I may be able to get you out for a day, after all.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Dame Lila]</b><br /><br />In regards to our previous discussion, I thought, perhaps, Thursday?<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />You have best be grateful for this, you little bug. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:26600 2009-06-22T20:36:09Z 2009-06-22T20:36:09Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Must she be so difficult? There is only so much I can do.<br /><br />But she is <i>right</i>. If I were a man, this would be a non-issue. Surely I am as strong as that. If I mean to show everyone that I can rule Keirnan as well as any Lord could, then would it not be in my <i>benefit</i> to show them that I am no different from he?<br /><br />I refuse to be weak.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Dame Lila]</b><br /><br />Dame Lila, would it be at all possible for Lady Elthea to be allowed out into the market for one day? I have been speaking to her, and I believe that her captivity <i>frustrates</i> her, as it could, of course. Some fresh, ocean air would do her very well. I would be honoured to have your assistance in making this possible, but it would need to be with a very small guard to avoid making a scene and revealing her identidy. There are enough questions being asked as it is. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:26180 2009-06-13T08:14:03Z 2009-06-13T08:14:03Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />You see, Uncle? It is just as Hayden says. I can handle this. In fact, that you think I cannot is an insult. Have we not always been close? Have you not always respected me? And yet, you think that I cannot take care of a little fishing hamlet on the edge of nowhere?<br /><br />I am not like other women. I am <i>strong</i>, and I am perfectly capable of being both mother <i>and</i> ruler.<br /><br />I am both gratful and fortunate to have Hayden on my side, at the very least. Whether or not he trusts me, he does <i>want</i> me to succeed, and that is a comforting thought. How long have I gone without the faith of others?<br /><br />Well, I shall prove them all wrong.<br /><br />I did not volunteer to wed a dying <i>child</i> so that I could sit here and put braids in my Emily's hair.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Lady Elthea]</b><br /><br />Have you been happy with your journal, thus far? I have not seen you write, but that is a good thing for the both of us.<br /><br />It would please me to know that you are satisfied. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:25864 2009-05-21T00:52:45Z 2009-05-21T00:52:45Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />I wonder what she is writing about ...<br /><br />I suppose asking would only serve to embitter her to me, but I do hope that by now she has seen the use and generousity of my gift. Surely she has begun to consider me more friend than foe. And then ...<br /><br />Well, from there, is it simply a matter of finding the perfect place to put her to work. And I'm sure I can find it.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Public]</b><br /><br />Ah, I have a very exciting announcement. It would seem that my cousin Hayden has managed the impossible and taught my cook to make a decent meal. Perhaps still not quite as good as anything the man himself can cook, but certainly good enough to be edible, which is a marked improvement, let me say.<br /><br />But in darker news, it pains me to say, but I feel the date cannot go unmarked. It has been three years since my beloved husband has died. I miss him every day ...<br /><br />May the Dragons judge him fairly. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:25771 2009-05-02T11:16:35Z 2009-05-02T11:16:35Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />You are a fool of the highest order, Dame Lila, but I am grateful for it. I could not be sure, not until you so generously spilled it into my lap. And now? Now, there can be no doubt whatsoever.<br /><br />She <i>is</i> the Lady Elthea. How incredible. How <i>impossible</i>. Raised up from the dead. How interesting, that I could never have known her name before her death, and now it comes to me so easily.<br /><br />So many question unanswered -- and she is so mad and so difficult, I doubt that she will answer them unless she feels that she owes me something.<br /><br />But what if she <i>did</i> owe me something? Surely she possesses some information that is valuable and sensitive in nature. Surely I can gain something from her that could be useful. Something about her family, her home ... something.<br /><br />But how to make her a friend? I wonder.<br /><br />How surprising all of this is. Even as I wondered, I see now that I never truly considered it a possibility, not until it was confirmed for me.<br /><br />Ah, but I will need to think quickly. Surely Lord Hasten cannot leave her here so much longer. He has a list of things to do, but this <i>is</i> on it. He is not a fool. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:25438 2009-04-20T03:43:00Z 2009-04-20T03:43:00Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />This girl ...<br /><br />It is not possible. I know in my mind that it is not possible. And yet, I cannot help but continue to entertain the possibility. What a thing that would be ...<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Lila]</b><br /><br />I hope you have settled in well.<br /><br />But, if you would pardon me saying, this seems like a terrible lot of fuss for a horse thief, even if the property in question is a Lireth thoroughbred.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />There, that should at least continue to ask questions. That is the most important part. Not to take anything for granted.<br /><br />Of course, there is still that other matter to attend to. Ugh, how unpleasant. But I suppose if I am to court them, I should try to test them as well I can before they come banging at my door, desperate to steal my regency and <i>endear</i> themselves to me.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Public]</b><br /><br />I have heard that the Rowan family preformed a role in the rescue of the Princess that was hardly negiligable. With all the honours being given Lord Hasten, I would not want to forget the family Rowan. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:25340 2009-04-02T23:11:18Z 2009-04-02T23:11:18Z <i>[the writing is uncontrolled]</i><br /><br /><b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />I do <i>not</i> need a man. I do <i>not</i>.<br /><br />What are men good for?! Brendan could not even do his duty in bed. And Matthias, oh, he could manage that, if only barely, but in every other respect? I hope his eyes are <i>all</i> Emily has inherited, my poor girl. My father never thought a clever word in all his life! My brothers? <i>Cads</i>. And Grandfather, oh, he is the very <i>worst</i>.<br /><br />Why does <i>everyone</i> think I need a man to take care of me? Surely, there are some good men, men like Lorcan, but they are few and far between! Emily is better off <i>without</i> a father. She has been given a blessing that will be --!<br /><br />-- this is not even <i>about</i> Emily.<br /><br />I do not need a man.<br /><br />I do not <i>want</i> a man!<br /><br /><br /><br /><i>Rowan</i>, hah. That would be just what I need. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:25014 2009-03-29T06:08:05Z 2009-03-29T06:08:05Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Impossible, and yet, there it is, laid out so cleanly before me. How could I have not seen it sooner?<br /><br />This is precious information. I do not know what to do with it, but certainly there is something. Information is valuable.<br /><br />I can make use of this. I <i>will</i> make use of this.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Dame Lila]</b><br /><br />I know what you have with you. <i>Who</i> you have. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:24623 2009-02-19T03:00:46Z 2009-02-19T03:00:46Z Cousin, your cooking is a blessing from on high. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:24473 2009-01-11T08:31:27Z 2009-01-11T08:31:27Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />How fortunate for all of us, Dame Lila, that your charge wandered off and into my grasp. You're welcome to her. I have all I will get from her, for now.<br /><br />She speaks so familiar of them, as if she is intimately acquianted with their situations. That could easily be a maid. Evil people they are, always meddling in the affairs of their betters, involving others who play unfair to attempt to manipulate those <i>so</i> far above them it is ...<br /><br />But she could still very well be a bastard, and would it not be so much more interesting, and <i>better</i>, if she were?<br /><br />She is right, the Lion of Lireth would never part with such information. He is such a man in every regard. But ... perhaps someone else.<br /><br />A lady of the House sess everything and keeps it all to herself until the opportunity arises to share it with the right person. A miniature betrayal of the men who control them, harmless, but a rebellion of worth, all the same.<br /><br />Now, who would be more willing to betray the Lion? The sister or the wife?<br /><br />Hm, no matter. I can try both.<br /><br />I <i>will</i> gain something from all of this.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Lady Felicia]</b><br /><br />Ah, Lady Felicia, I must say that I have enjoyed so much hearing about your daughters on the pages of the journals.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Lady Amaeyra]</b><br /><br />Good afternoon, Lady Amaeyra. How does the day find you? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:24078 2009-01-02T04:17:56Z 2009-01-02T04:17:56Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Well, I am certainly glad that the men reported to me before they brought this girl back to Dame Lila. She certainly does not look like a maid. Dirty and mad or not, her blood must be noble. A daughter of a merchant with a noble wife? A bastard, perhaps?<br /><br />What does the Lion of Lireth want with this girl? Surely something important.<br /><br />Surely I could find out.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Alyssa]</b><br /><br />Now, have we calmed down a little? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:24060 2008-09-24T00:47:16Z 2008-09-24T00:47:16Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Such a quiet day.<br /><br />Almost ... too quiet.<br /><br />I am not, of course, saying that I miss home. That is not the sort of excitement that I miss, not at all. But it would be nice to have something happen in my life. Since Dame Vanessa left and Uncle Stephan took over the payments to that horrible woman, every single day has fallen into a pattern of such predictability.<br /><br />There is, of course, still that woman who Brendan believed to be his sister, but she has not said a word in ages. It is fair to assume that she presents no threat to me, or to Emily. And Lord Matthias, well. I have no need at all for him, anymore. That <i>woman</i> is being dealt with.<br /><br />This complacency ...<br /><br />It is so ... <i>numbing</i>.<br /><br />What a foolish thing thing to complain about. I endured mockery and teasing for my whole life, waiting for the day when I would be able to be left alone to read and think and enjoy my own way in peace. That was my biggest, if certainly not only, ambition. I thought, even if it was all I were to receive, it would be more than acceptable, brighten my life, but it has not.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />None of this matters, I suppose. I have never truly enjoyed the Festival, not while I was such an <i>easy</i> target, so why should this year be any different at all? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:23585 2008-09-01T05:33:48Z 2008-09-01T05:33:48Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Why should Leisa be allowed to <i>be</i> here? Must they invade every single aspect of my life, even when I am finally away from them?<br /><br />Perhaps I should simply stop writing. Forever. I <i>could</i>. This journal network never actually <i>chose</i> me, after all.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Hm. It chose <i>Leisa</i>. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:23348 2008-06-25T07:07:01Z 2008-06-25T07:07:01Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />... I cannot <i>believe</i> this.<br /><br />She was -- all this time -- spoiled noblewoman, she calls me? I am truly <i>sorry</i> that "playing nice" was so <i>difficult</i>. A <i>knight</i> does not<br /><br /><i>Inconceivable.</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:23088 2008-06-20T21:06:30Z 2008-06-20T21:06:30Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />That truly all could not have gone much worse than it did. At least Keirnan itself is taking care of <i>Linda</i>, now. It is indeed a relief to have that off my shoulders, after so long dealing with it myself.<br /><br />But Dame Vanessa ...<br /><br />She was truly a support to me, and I am filled with regret that she was a casualty of this. Sincerely. I wish that there was something I could do.<br /><br />I am not a monster. I have a heart.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Uncle Stephan]</b><br /><br />Ah, Uncle ...? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:22829 2008-05-25T02:20:01Z 2008-05-25T02:20:01Z My thoughts are heavy and with my husband this week. I cannot believe that two years have come and gone since his passing, when it truly feels like almost yesterday that I saw him last. I mourn for myself, but more than that, I mourn for Emily. She does need her father so, and she will never know him. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:22648 2008-05-01T16:31:26Z 2008-05-01T16:31:26Z <b>[Filter: Uncle Stephan]</b><br /><br />I ... feel strange to ask this, but I must. What happens now, Uncle? I do think I deserve to know ... I've carried this burden for a long time, and Emily's future remains on the line. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:22318 2008-04-14T02:31:58Z 2008-04-14T02:31:58Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />He will read her journal. How could he not? He<br /><br />I am finished. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:22130 2008-04-04T05:15:46Z 2008-04-04T05:15:46Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />Just. Stay. <i>Calm.</i><br /><br /><b>[Filter: Uncle]</b><br /><br />Do you have any update, Uncle, on the ... situation? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:21846 2008-04-01T07:43:36Z 2008-04-01T07:43:36Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />This is ...<br /><br />Delicate.<br /><br />And I cannot see it ending especially well. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:21666 2008-03-31T09:44:55Z 2008-03-31T09:44:55Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />She will leave after her party. She will <i>leave</i> and take her jewels back to Rhia with her and then my options will be quite <i>depleted</i>, will they not? Lord Matthias refuses to come until I give him good reason, and what could I <i>possibly</i> say that he could believe, and I have no funds left of my own. The only option left will be to dirty my hands in the treasury, and it is so <i>easily</i> traceable.<br /><br />I have truly backed myself into a splendid little corner, now have I not? You cursed old hag, why must you torment me like this?<br /><br />Emily, dearest, Mother will do <i>anything</i> that she can. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:21428 2008-03-26T00:30:19Z 2008-03-26T00:30:19Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />I am a thief, and this is ... ridiculous.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Lord Matthias]</b><br /><br />You certainly are taking your time.<br /><br /><b>[Filter: Public]</b><br /><br />I do hope that you intend to stay for your birthday, at least, Rachelle. I suppose I would understand if you would rather return to Rhia to celebrate among the activity of the city and the adoration of the family, it would bring some light to my little seaside castle if I could prepare a small party for you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:borrowedtime_:21058 2008-02-23T00:49:37Z 2008-02-23T00:49:37Z <b>[Filter: Private]</b><br /><br />A mother does what she must to protect her child.