[Filter: Private]

How did this happen?

I should have just kept my mouth shut. What was I trying to do -- impress him? Make him angry? Scare him? Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. Yes, just lead him right to the very thing that could finally make him hate you enough to --

It's true, what he says. Every word. If Emily is not the Lady of Keirnan, that what am I? Just yet another of Lord Craig's hundreds of descendants. One more Rhiaspawn who will never be anything. I -- I cannot go back to that. I refuse to return to Rhia, absolutely refuse, even if it kills me.

I -- hate that man.

Fine. Come, then, see your daughter, if that's what you insist on making her into. Do you even realize how selfish you are? Do you have any love for your country?!

You should have chosen differently, Uncle. It should never have been Matthias.

[Filter: Private]

I should not even allow myself to hope.

I suppose I already know what matter of things Uncle with entrust to me. Matters of the household, perhaps the smallest of influences with the treasury, and nothing else. I have so much to handle, in raising Emily, after all. How could I ever manage to do two things at once. Surely no mere woman would ever be capable of such a thing. And I need to be sure not to burden myself too much. Those insufferable Rowan dogs will be here, soon, and I could not be seen to be overambitious.

I could easily be keeping this entire city. A few silly blunders do not disqualify me from that. Surely a man would be just as likely to make the mistakes I did.

Lord Hasten had best get here, soon. I want that troublemaker out of the city.

The people in this city truly are strange.

The way that they treat this coming day seems like something from an especially odd storybook, to me. How they enforce on one another an embargo against all speech, how they crave patterns into their doorframes, how they watch the shadows.

The rest of Dentoria honours their dead, and Keirnan fears the wandering spirits they may have left behind.

I remember when it used to frustrate me so. Now it seems like only another day, and yet another percularity.

One of Emily's nurses bought her a wooden puzzle for the Festival. Such a simple little thing in all respects, crude and carved and the paint is already flecking in parts, but I do swear, I have never seen a child love a toy quite so much. She will sit there for an hour, putting it together, and then taking it apart, and then putting back together once again.

Her nurses say that it is quite normal, that children her age will often enjoy repeating a task over and over. It helps them remember things better, later in life, they have told me, and so I have been encouraging it, even after it gave her a bit of a splinter and reduced her to tears.

She will be three years old in so little time from now ... I can scarce believe it.

Brendan would be so proud of her.

I just thought I would let all of my relatives and friends back in Rhia know that I believe that I have received gifts from all of you. Most arrived serveral days ago, actually, but I have been quite busy preparing Festival celebrations for the city.

Keirnan is so peculiar. The smallfolk hang holly and mistletoe from all their windows and doors, hoping that it will keep away kelpie spirits who try to come up from the ocean. Years ago, I would have found it frustrating, but now it is mostly simply quaint. And the smell is rather pleasant, if heady.

Emily has had a lovely day. Like Lady Irene's boy, I think she begins to understand the signifigance of the holiday. She chose a gift for me, a toy bear dressed in a lace doiley. It is a silly thing, but it makes me happy, nevertheless.

I do wish everyone a lovely day. Especially those who cannot be in a real city or home, who need it more than any others.

[Filter: Hayden]

Seeing that mouth-watering talk of delicious meals has made me wonder, cousin. Do you plan on putting together a dinner for the evening of the Festival?

I do hope so. Our cook has learned so much from you, but he still cannot compete with your dishes. Not by a very large margin.

[Filter: Private]

And still nothing from Lord Hasten.

Ugh. I owe it to him to cooperate, and no matter how I hate it, that's all there is.

[Filter: Public]

I continue to hear rumours that the glory of Eblar has dimmed, somewhat. It does sadden the heart to know that all wonderous times must end, but that is simply the way of life, is it not?

It makes me wonder: what are those brave heroes going to do with themselves next? Surely returning to their daily lives seems entirely impossible, after such deeds and celebration of them. If someone could indulge a lady's insatiable curiousity?

[Filter: Private]

As much as the thought of this match makes me ill, I ... do owe Hayden a great deal. I haven't heard a single whispered word from Lord Hasten, who must be outraged by it all, so it would seem that my cousin has done all that he can to keep my humiliating failure firmly on another's shoulders. Most likely Dame Lila ... who was quite blameworthy in the whole matter, and so I will feel no guilt.

Elthea ...

I will never have her friendship, I can see it now. How did I not, before? A rabid dog only bites the hand that attemps to feed it.

[Filter: Hayden]

It ... occurs to me that I may have been ungracious. You did a very good thing for me. I did thank you, but then, of course, immediately became quite unsightly and belligerent.

This thank you comes without strings or postscript.

[Filter: Hayden]

She is not a horsethief. She is Lady Elthea of House Lireth, who is not dead after all, and she is gone and no matter how hard I try, I cannot find her.

[Filter: Dame Lila]

D-do not panic. We will find her, of course. Any moment now, in fact.

[Filter: Elthea]

Where are you?