Its been a while since ive posted in this, mostly cause i tend to censor who i choose to see what in my life. The whole no secrets thing between people is not something im overly fond of. But in any case, I need to vent. And this being my journal is my emo ranting place to do so. For the first time in a very long time I find myself incredibly lonely. This is due to a number of different external factors, some of which involve people travelling, people being too poor, how differently two people rate the importance of their relationship with each other (which in this case directly relates to the output of effort they place)and my own considerable inability to make friends with people. I think it becomes more and more difficult for me to make friends with people from work, people that arent other senior staff members 100% of which at the moment are male apart from me. Mostly because when you have to tell a person to do something it makes it more difficult to maintain a professional relationship which has been something thats bitten me more than once this past year. Apart from that i know that im generally a reserved person which makes it very difficult to become friends with any random person i met. And whilst i always crave solitude adn rarely get it, I'm already starting to hate it now that i have it. However, to leave this on a point of optimism i know this is just a phase.