| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2004|12:00 am]
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I can't be arsed with this anymore, i never fill it out or anything. The only thing I ever have on my mind anyway is how much I want Ben...he's all I think about and it hurts me to think we'll never be together again...my own fault. |
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| Dammit |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|01:13 pm]
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| [ | mood |
| |  (I want him) | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Theivery Corporation-Until the Morning | ] |
Dammit, I was doing so well...I hadn't thought about him the last two weeks much, and if I had, it'd been nasty thoughts, which are the kinda thoughts they should be towards him...but then last night I had this dream about him, we were together again and it was like it was before...it's so sad that kissing him in my dream is the best bit of my day just cos I can be with him
OH MY GOD
SOMEONE KICK ME
I'm unbelievably sad...
Oh well, Rich is coming over veeery soon and we're gonna get stoned :D heh heh
Good Stuff!!! |
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| Hmmm |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|04:25 pm]
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| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DJ Tomcraft-Lonliness | ] |
Just another day of sitting at home doing fuck all...just sat and played the SimCity 3000 all day...fun...I think my lack of eating is starting to kick in...i feel so pants....
I really miss Ben too
Balls |
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| Really Busy Weekend |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|06:30 pm]
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| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The music that's playing on Hollyoaks | ] |
Yes, I did, I had a really busy weekend...
Thursday=Met Mark in town, he brought me lots of alchohol and then we all went to City (everyone from college etc) and we all got very wasted. Saw Jordan there and he was really alright with me which was good. Then we all went back to Jacks and got even more wasted. All in all a good night.
Friday=Rich spent the day at my house and then we went to his an I stopped the night there. Just spent two days playing on the computer!
Saturday=Spent most of the day at Rich's and then went home and then went to Jordans. Did lots of substances and ended up completely out of it :D what we love to do. Ended up getting with Jordan though, not a bad thing entirely bear in mind. Yeah, although we're broke up, it was just nice to have a kiss and a cuddle and stuff.
I haven't eaten properly in all those days and made myself eat today, I feel proper bad cos of it though, I've really gone off eating for no reason. I'm also absolutely exhausted...*wants to go to bed*
The End of Kaia's Exciting Weekend
x |
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| Yay, Party Day |
[Jul. 15th, 2004|02:06 pm]
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| [ | mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Client - Here and Now (Cicada and Moonbootica Remix) | ] |
Pretty boring couple of days really...Lily stopped round on Tues night and we went on a massivly long walk, and then Joey came round on Wed and we all watched Grease!
It's Party Night tonight though :D going to Rock City with everyone from college and then Jack's havin a party afterwards so I wanna get waaaaasted tonight! Only thing that is a potential to ruin it is the obvious, Ben. Oh well, I'm gonna look amazing and make him wish he'd never told me to go kill myself! Heh heh...sounds like a plan to me... |
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| someone please kick me |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|12:27 am]
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| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mario Winans-I Don't Wanna Know | ] |
Ahhh, a day like any other. I wake up in the afternoon, don't even bother getting dressed, watch tv all day and at some point, argue with Ben...
Why is it we always end up arguing? I mean, we ALWAYS end up arguing...
I think it might have something to do with him telling me to "take a long walk off of a short cliff". How can someone go from loving someone to hating them in such a small amount of time?
I do hate him, I hate him for what he's doing to me.
Why do I have so little control over the part of me that wants him?
Dammit |
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black_coffee_