.:.pull the trigger and the nightmare stops.:.

ShittiestShowEver

2004-03-13T14:13:08Z

So its Saturday.
I just woke up and Im going to scream because this space bar is shit. But I somewhat fixed it. I took off the whole space bar. So now I just have to press a button. Which is actually harder.
Yah so I think I went to THE shittiest show EVER last night.
The bands were so bad. Pitching For Jaden played. I like to call them Pitching For Faggots cuz thats what they are. Then some Screamo band played. They were all rude. Then Operation Impact played. The keyboardist is SOSOOSOSOSOOSOSOSO GAY.
His pants were tighter then mine. I could see his friggen penis. AHH ..
Anyways.
Then we went for Chinease.
Now Im leaving.

I know Id kill myself If I was Darlene

2004-03-12T18:22:34Z

Im over at Kandaces. Shes in the shower and Darlene is sitting on the couch talking about missy eliot. And MaryAnne is sitting on a chair. Show tonight. Its going to suck but I think I might get in for free cuz Im gunna help Kyle. Whose going to be here in like a half hour.

Im scared of that Guy.
I helped Kyle for a while. Show Tonight.

Mooooo

bill_ @ 2004-03-09T12:09:00

2004-03-10T04:16:26Z

I am in a weird mood. Ive been thinking alot lately. About everything. Ive been mad for awhile. And sad. And every other emotion that comes along with it.

Im mad at like one person right now. She cant keep her mouth shut about anything. She made one of my friends upset and now I am. Great going bitch.

Im such a stupid idiot. I hate the way I am. I cant appriciate anyone or anything. It sucks ass. I should be able to appriciate all of the friends that are there for me (even though theres like three) and everything that they do for me. But I cant and I dont know why. They think that I dont care and I really do. Im so sorry to everyone that I hurt.

I hate the way that I look. Im ugly and theres nothing more to it. I hate the way that there are prettier girls then me. Some of my guys friends will friggen stop and do anything for them. That makes me sad. Why wont anyone stop and do anything for me?? Answer me that.

Im sick and Im tired. Please everyone just leave me alone and stop asking me what is wrong. I know that you care but when everyone asks me every three seconds it makes me even more mad. I havent been extreamly happy in so long. I dont know why. And I dont need professional help either ok?

Ps. My dads gone. AkA moved out.

yaya

2004-03-08T16:55:39Z

Yup. So Im updating my journal. Wooohooo. Sounds like fun. Im at school. Sitting in the library not going to class cuz Im cool. Im going in a few minutes though. I dropped off aplications today. I dropped off one at Value Village, Garage and thats it. I also have an interveiw at Macdonalds tonight. Yaye for me. I hope I get a friggen job. I need money and fast.
Someones in a bad mood today. Someone. Not mentioning any names here. God dammit. I hate stupid people. Well I better go and get off to class. Haha Get off.

ahh

2004-03-06T04:12:20Z

I hate stupid people so much. Ahh
I had an awesome time at the show!! It was so great. Dreams played a really short set though. Which sucked ass but they are still an awesome band and I wish that they wernt breaking up. I cant wait till they're last show. It will rock. Aaron got me a ticket cuz hes a sweetie.
Moshers are stupid though. I cant really complain becuase its my own fault for wanting to be up close to the band. I dont know. I was having fun during Kevin Arnold, until some stupid faggot turned it horrible. Got kicked in the head a couple of times. But no one really cares so Ill stop. Plus it was my fault, I shouldnt have been near the band in the first place.
But yah. The other bands were AWESOME.......like Dreams....hehehe
But yah I have to go now. Bye.

School....

2004-03-05T12:30:35Z

Im at school right now.
Man am I ever tired. This space bar doesnt work very well. I have to like slam it down.

SHOW TONIGHT!!!!!YAHAYHAYAHAHAYAHAH
I cant wait. Im gunna dance it up so hardcore.
LoL. I better go and find Sara now. Byeeeee

Derrick is Great.

2004-03-04T20:54:08Z

Kandaces house

2004-03-04T20:53:20Z

Im over at Kandaces house. I skipped the afternoon with Aaron.
Now Kyles comming to get me.
Kandace made me a new Icon. Look at it. Its Beautiful. Just like Kandace. <3

Byeeeeeeeeee

Totally fucked up.

2004-03-04T03:25:29Z

I want to go home. Funny thing about that is that I already am home. This is bad. My dad like kicked me outta the house today. I didnt know where to go so I came back home. I want to go to a real home. One where the familys are normal.
Anyway. Im bored and tired.....uck.
I miss Darlene. I havent seen her in like three days and Im dying. I want her to see my sweater vest. :'(
Show last night sucked. Show on Friday is going to rock. Yaye.
Yaye for everything. Minus the everything part.
Im hungry.
I need to stop complaining. Bye.

Dont Wanna Think About You.....

2004-03-02T03:43:12Z

Im in the best mood ever. I just found out that Simple Plan has a new single and a new video. They rock so much. The song is called "Dont Wanna Think About You".

Can you leave me here alone now
I don't want to hear you say that you know me
that I should be always doing what you say
'cause I'm trying to get through today
and there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out
don't wanna think about you
or think about nothing
don't wanna talk this one out
won't let you bring me down

'cause i know
don't wanna think about you
don't wanna think about you

Can I wake up here tomorrow
things will never be the same
'cause I won't wait
'cause you won't change
and you'll always be this way
now I'm gunna get through today
and there's one thing I know

Don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out
don't wanna think about you
or think about nothing
don't wanna talk this one out

this time
won't let you bring me down
won't let you shut me out
this time I know
don't wanna think about you

run away, run away
im running as fast as i can
run away, run away
i'll never come back again
run away

don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out
think about me
don't wanna talk this one out

What A great and amazing song. Simple Plan rocks. I cant wait until they come out with a new album. I swear to god that I am going to skip school so that I can go and get it.
Highlights of the day: When Darlene said "I bet this cake ... takes the cake" hahahahahah
And of course. Finding Simple Plan.. I think I am going to start to listen to them religiously agian. :)

Bored .....................

2004-02-28T20:15:33Z

Im not really bored. Because a wise woman (Darlene) once said that only boring people get bored. And Im far from boring.
I sleeped the night at Ashleys last night. And so did Aaron.
It was fun. I had fun.
I was pissed because the show was cancelled.
But yah now Im going somewheres with Kyle. Hes not here yet. Curses. Cyas.

AHEHHA

2004-02-27T12:57:29Z

GO TO THE SHOW !!!

Bored & Mad

2004-02-27T12:30:34Z

Todays crap. My mom woke me up. Its so early. We have no god damn school today and she still woke me up. The dog was playing with a stupid plastic bottle in the middle of the hallway and it was so loud. Then she let some plumber guy in my bedroom to check the bathroom wall or something. Then she told me she wasnt getting the car I wanted her to get and shes getting something uglier. Ahhh. A FORD. It sucks. But o well. She said shed still let me drive it.
YES!!!!! Theres a show tonight! YAYE!!. Cant wait. Dreams plays first and I know most of their songs off by heart. Im not a stalker or anything. Really tho Im not.
I dont know what Im going to do today up until the show. I want to go out to Masons house so I can burn my like 6 CDS. I need music. My dad is taking the Computer with him when he moves out. But anyways.
I guess this is it. Bye.

Prozzak

2004-02-25T02:07:58Z

Yah. Other then the fact that Im listening to Prozzak, I had a pretty shitty day. I went to most of my classes and got bitched at by my cooking teacher because I didnt go. I hate it there. I wish I was in math and history. At least then Id be doing something productive unlike in cooking and fashion.
I took pictures in Fashion of Darlene. I <3 her. Then she took my camera and went into the bathroom and took pictures. I dont know what they are of because I never took my camera home. I wish I did though. Me and Steve climbed up onto the roof of the Rodd Hotel. It was hot because I could see everything. I could see the friggen Macdonalds Sign. I think you can see Macdonalds anywheres. Lol. After school tomorrow I want to go downtown and take pictures of everything around it. But Im saposed to go to Masons. I <3 Mason.
I went downtown today to get Aarons birthday present. I got him tickets for the Moneen show. I was going to go, but I dont have any money anymore. I dont want anyone to get them for me either. Its only Dreams Among Stars last show. But o well. I hope everyone has fun.
I also got to go to Derricks house. It was fun. Hes so cool. Then I came home and here I am now. Im tired and mad at everything so Im going to go now. Bye.

Today

2004-02-24T00:36:38Z

Today was quite interesting. Im home now. I just uploaded pictures onto my computer. They are amazing. I had fun today playing with my moms digital camera. I wish we could have stayed outside longer but the batery went dead. Im gunna charge it up tonight and take it to school tomorrow. I just dont like the fact that its 100 years old and its still a digital camera. Its friggen huge.
Highlight of the day: When Kyle was pretending to rob Macdonalds.. Hes so funny.

Thats it:)
Have fun with that everybody

Adventures in the snow

2004-02-23T18:39:07Z

Hey. Im at the Lovely Kandaces house.
I wanted it to be a day full of picture taking but my camera is being a bizznatch. It went dead so I have to find a way to get home and power it up so that we can take more. But thats an update.

Long Time.

2004-02-22T17:15:22Z

Well I just woke up. I had a shitty night last night. The show sucked ass beause Dreams or Kevin Arnold didnt play. Dreams is breaking up so for the love of eff go to their last shows.

Please go to em.
Anyways. I have nothing else better to do so heres some pleasent pictures. Enjoy.

Saras new hair. Man is she hot :)
Poor Derrick.
Oo Derrick. I think the picture is cool.
My eye.
Made this
Made this
Made this
That last one is for dreams...*tear* Please go to the last shows. They are on .. Feb 27th and March 15th. Both at the arts guild.

A little from column A a little from column B

2004-02-20T02:01:04Z

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This is my other LJ post. I decided I want to use this thing again. But not to diss people or whatever. I liked it. I just went through this faze where I thought it was stupid, and then I realized that I want to use it again. So there ya go. Enjoy.
<lj-cut text"A Tribute To Sexy People"><img src=http://img7.photobucket.com/albums/v18/xdarlenex/Picture_1129.jpg>
<img src=http://img7.photobucket.com/albums/v18/xdarlenex/darlene6.jpg>
<img src=http://img7.photobucket.com/albums/v18/xdarlenex/sad_clown.jpg>
<img src=http://img7.photobucket.com/albums/v18/xdarlenex/i_love_mullets.jpg>
<img src=http://img7.photobucket.com/albums/v18/xdarlenex/kandace_and_candace.jpg><lj/-cut>

bill_ @ 2004-02-19T14:43:00

2004-02-19T18:45:45Z

hey this is deffinatly bill. I have great time today at darlene's cause shes so great and i love her. I wish i could be more like her cause she is just so beautiful. I walked so far to get to get house i this storm. I have this weird vigina desease and i have to get it checked by the docter... i hope darlene doesnt find out cause we had sex a few minutes ago and well i think she caught it..shhhhhhh. I really like deAD BABIES .ALOT.

im done

2004-01-22T04:03:55Z

livejournal is stupid and im done with it. goodbye

SCHOOL!!!

2004-01-21T16:59:52Z

Yes! I am so happy.
Im in school right now as we speak. Or as I type. hehehe. I love school. I missed it so much. I called Ashley and asked her if there was school, and she said yes. I was SOOO HAPPY. I got ready for school and now Im here. Its after lunch tho.
Yah So .... Nothing to talk about. I wish someone whose smart would help me with my math that doesnt have math this term. That would be super. Hehehe/ Supper. lol.
I read Skippys LJ a few minutes ago and I thought it was so funny. This is my family:
My mom, brother, Darlene is my lover, skippy, Sara & Aaron (they are my foster parents) Ashley is my other foster mother. I have Saras parents, and Aarons parents, all of my friends and so on and so forth. Jacqui is in there too.I love her <3.
School Yaye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
I hate it when people care about what they look like to other people. Its weird. I want to be loud and crazy, like the real person I am but I cant because Im always with people that dont like loud or just think its embarassing. Stupid people and what they think. Who gives a flying eff what other people think? I know I dont. People who dont like me, can go eat a dick.

Darlene rocks. :) I love her. Me and her are going to Kyle Willoughbys house after school today to chillax. I wonder what his dad will say about that. Lol. We are going to drink some straight edge beer. Lol. mmmmm.. I love her . I love everyone today. Cept people that think I embarass them. grrr.

AHAHA Im a genius. Clock is fixed.

2004-01-20T14:39:25Z

Im Mad.
I want to go to school so badly. I NEED to go to school so badly. I need to go to math so I can ask all of the questions because Im a dumbass. This is the second day in a row that schools cancelled. Im gunna fail. *CryinG* Aarons saposed to help me today. I hope he does. Hes a genius.
Last night we went sledding. It was my first time being dragged behind a car. It was fun. We went to threedifferent parking lots and there was a snow plow everywhere we went. Then we were going like 40 and then I fell and slammed my head into the pavement. It hurt. Ill make it through.
I have nothing else to write about. Ahh. Cept that Im bored outta my mind. I want to get outta my house. Bye.

mmm Peppermint Clevage .... lol. Good one Mason.
Thats my knee

Yah .. damn clock.

2004-01-18T19:38:31Z

Im close to fixing the clock. If I didnt do this post and just waited until tomorrow then it would have been fixed. Too bad.
I havent updated in awhile.
Nothing to fancy has happened. We had stupid school on friday tho. We had an hour delay, so in the morning we had two 40 minute classes. I went to Art and then Math. Im not even in Art. Then school was cancelled at 1:20 so we had two 20 minute classes which made me mad. We went to Masons house at 3. After we spent like an hour at Ritches Army place. Aaron bought a coat.
I spent the night at Masons on Friday night. Me, Durrell, Kyle, Aaron. I wanted Ashley to spend the night SOOOOOOO bad. I think it would have been fun as hell. All we did was watch Pirates of the Carribian. But with Ashley, I could have talked to her cuz I <3 her. We went to sleep at like 4:30 in the morning and woke up at seven. So I went home and went to bed till 3. Then I went to Saras. I <3 Sara. And Nikki too. And Heather.
I left Saras house. I went with Aaron and Ashley because my dad was freaking. So I went with them and then slept the night at Ashleys. We watched Avril Lavigne and Nickleback DVD'S. Then some crazy one.
I got to talk to Ashley which I really liked. :) Yaye for Ashley.
We woke up today at like 9:30 and Ashley and her mom went driving at 10 so I got to stay at Ashleys by myself for an hour. Then I went over to Aarons. He slept. . wooo. I just didnt want to go home.

I dont like it when people dont listen to what I have to say. They want to talk to me but then they look like they are distracted and they start talking bout something else and forget what you are talking about. Like if Im talking bout something its obviously important to me or I wouldnt be talking about it right? And the only reason Im telling you it, is because I think youll listen and understand. I hate it when people dont listen to me. Like I drop everything and listen to what they have to say and all that. The least they could do is spare five minutes and listen to what I have to say about something. Even if they are hungry. They could put that aside for a couple of minutes and listen to me. I dont care if its a story about me, or an opinion. I want people to take me seriusly and listen to me. Sometimes I talk about how I used to be and suicide and anorexia and stuff like that. But not alot of people care. I have to be like "hey lets talk about this, its serius" and even then, they half dont take me seriusly.

I miss this. I miss the old me. The one that was loud and didnt care about anything or what other people said. Now Im walking down the hall with someone that cares and I cant scream or something like I used to do because I might embarrass that person. and THAT wouldnt be good at all. I miss how loud I used to be, how carefree I used to be. Now all I can think of is stuff. My mind is always filled with something and I wish it wasnt. In the summer, if something happened I was like "ehh fuck it" and not worry about it. Now, if something happens I loose sleep over it. Half of me wants to go back and be the old me. But that old me was stupid. I used to make stupid mistakes and I would do it all the time and not do anything about it. The other half of me wants to stay the same. Im so great. I really am. I dont make stupid mistakes. But I feel the same everyday and theres no varity anywhere and that makes me mad. Like I always start the conversation and keep it going. What would you do if I was gone? I have no idea. Lately everythings been SOOO BORING. But now Im done.

I miss this :'( Somethings missing in my life and its me.

Stupid Clock

2004-01-16T04:06:17Z

I LOVED TODAY.
Today was so awesome. I loved it. I woke up at eight. I thought that my dad was calling and I didnt want to talk to him so I didnt answer it. It was really Aaron. I fucking got to watch Care Bears today which fucking was AWESOME cuz I love CARE BEARS......YAYE BEDTIME BEAR!!!!
I went over to Aarons house with Ashley at like 12. Ashleys awesome I love her. Her and Aaron talked all day yesterday about stuff and now I dont feel so far away from Ashley and I know that she cares and stuff. I love her so much. Shes so great. Shes going to let me stay the night at her house tomorrow night if I didnt want to. (My parents are close ... REALY CLOSE to getting a divorce)
I just got home now. I love Aarons house. We just sat around and did nothing all day. And I loved it. Now Im home and Im going to sleep in my moms bed because she loves me. Unlike my father.
I think Im going over to Aarons house tomorrow again with Ashley.
Yesterday I went over to Kyles with Darlene. I love Darlene. Dana is awesome too. He let me start his car so...Its all good. Im praying that school is cancelled tomorrow too. IT BETTER BE!!. Like Holy eff. Lol. So anyways. I gotta go. Bye.
These PICTUREs ROck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

School.....Or Lack There Of

2004-01-14T13:04:57Z

No school. Tired.
Grrr. I hate this stupid Live journal. the clock is all screwed up and I just had this great big entry and then since the clock is messed I have to do it again.

Ashley. You get gold starts for your last entry when you said "Canyenaro" and then the other one where you said "I have to go eat my low fat supper" I thought it was funny. I dont know who my friends are because they can never show how they care.

Yesterday I went to one of my classes. Weeeee. Math is like the only class I go to now. I went to math, then I went out to wendys with Aaron and Kyle, then After lunch, Me and Aaron went to the library to talk. Then I went to the library with Darlene cuz I couldnt do English. After school I went to Aarons physics extra help. Thats scary as hell. Then we went to his house, then to Ashleys. Ashley passed her beginners Im so happy of her!!.
Im saposed to go swimming with Sara after school, but there is no school and I really want to go. So I dont know what we are doing ... I LOVE SARA
This would be longer I just cant remember what to say. I LOVE SARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!