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MYSELF DUH BECAUSE I AM GREAT |
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This is my post to tell you why I am better than you. Try not to cry.
First off, there's my music. Who else has worked with Chrome Dog, Gorilla Gorilla, LOR, DOA, and every other Letter-O-letter band in the world? No one, that's fucking who. I did a cover of Prince's "1999" with Trevor Hirst, Todd Kerns, and Matt Good. Look at that; I'm the only girl. You know why? Because I'm so fucking hardcore that I rocked their socks off. Literally. Go check to see if Matt Good's wearing socks. He won't be. Of course, there's my solo shit, which kicks all of your asses all the way to Hong Kong and back. Nobody else writes songs about tango shoes and dying while eating french fries. My lineups would kill you. They include people like DAVE GENN, Rich Priske, Doug Fury, Scotty Sexx, Brittin Karrol, and Coco Culbertson, just to name a few. With names like that, who wouldn't be jealous? However, I had to outdo them by making my last name Naked. Oh yeah.
Secondly, there's my style. Who else dresses like this? Nobody. Nobody has this keen of a fashion sense. Oh yes, my friends, floral patterened dresses are BACK. I'm rocking them like it's nobody's business! I revealed my stomach way before Britney Spears did, and does she have a tattoo there? Not on the front, nope. That's because I'm far superior. My navel ring is better than hers, too. I dyed my hair black before it was hip. I got more tattoos than Kurt can count (read: more than 6) before that was "in." I can rock the hardcore clothes and not be called a poser. Why? I am hardcore, plain and simple. But I've also got a sensitive side. That's why I wear the floral.
Now, we move onto my personality. Let's face it, I'm funny. I'll crack you up. I cannot type, but that's no reflection of my intelligence. I can outsmart you. I'm just all-around rad. Ask anyone. I'm sweet and nice to all except those who piss me off.
Looks! Let's talk about my looks. People look at me like OOERS and I :-[ like mad. Who can blame them though? I've got large, beautiful eyes and a cute little nose. My lips are full and obviously I know how to use them. I work out, so my body stays in shape. I can kick your ass, trust me. My ears are kind of pointy like elf's ears but in a really cute way. Whenever I do something weird, I can always alter it to be cute. It's because I'm cute. Don't even get me started about my topless scene in that movie. Yes, I'm an actress! Be jealous of my talent. All you've got to know is that I've got nipple rings you can't touch. My kneecaps are the most attractive kneecaps in the land. I finally let Kurt touch them. It made him happy, as it damn well should have because they and I are the very best. He's a lucky man. Look but don't touch me, kiddies, or Kurt might eat you. Seriously, have you seen him eat? :-\
Oh, another thing: I'm vegan. I don't kill animals. See how loving I am? I want to spread peace and love to all the earth. I do that with songs like "Violence." Shut up.
Finally, I am the best because I'm so stalked. Kids, you know who you are!
After reading all of this, how could you not realise that I am the best of the best of the best? :-*
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