this is it, this is the end.

this is the absolute last year i put up with bullshit.

no more. i am DONE.

time to take charge, time to start embedding my foot in asses more. this is all, i've paid my fucking dues. if you say i haven't, well, you dont know even half of my god damn life, now do you? i'm not some sheltered primadonna that has had a lot of things handed to her in her travels. i've worked hard for what i have, i've shed blood. i've got the battlescars to prove it. i've lived life the hard way.

i am so ANGRY.

watch out, i'm evolving. and it may or may not be what you like. but, its for the good of me.

its about me.

leave the money in the door. i cant deal with you. i dont want to lose that batty composure i'm so classicaly able to attain in public.

i'm angry. angry that it all happened, angry at myself for slacking, for not standing up for myself. i guess i really didnt care? i dunno.

hurt. alone, really. i'm sure the tears will start flowing soon, right now i'm too numb,

and angry.

you wont have to go through what i do. again. so you'll never know. however, i really hope you see the magnitude of this, and maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to take things more seriously in the future.

i'm going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

oh yeah...the tears have arrived. i keep apologizing.


i really, really hope this weekend distracts me.

moms say things that hurt a lot, and you ahve to tell them you cant really talk right now.

tHR had to stop by today to pick up the cough syrup she left.

she asked me if i needed anything.

i said mountain dew.
and a new heart, but the dew would suffice.

she shows up, successfully fulfilling both for me.




i love her.