i'm feeling really down, really isolated today.

just what i need. another man to treat me like crap to reinforce the fact that there is absolutely nobody out there that i want.

just what i need. another man to treat me like crap to reinforce the fact that there is absolutely nobody out there that i want.

3rd entry of the day, if only because i haven't had a time to make a complete one.

so much running in my head. its an odd day today. i'm not entirely sure why i dont write in here when i'm happy. maybe its because i dont have problems dealing with happiness.

so i would completely annihilate myself off the face of this earth if it weren't for 4 things: my 3 cats and my ferret. they need me. they depend on me to feed them, to give them love, to play with them. they meet me at the door when i come home from work, they sit on my lap when i'm at the computer, and they all curl up with me when i go to bed at night. nobody - nobody - could take care of them better than i could, and i wouldn't want to know that i would have left the planet leaving them alone.


how pathetic is that?

the reason for me staying here is not because i think i'm a worthwhile person, that i deserve to live and have a happy full life, that i am wonderful and beautiful and deserve to find another and have kids and expand my talents, to live out my secret dream of becoming a suburban housewife and opening an art studio.

no.

it is because my cats need to be fed.




i am a piece of work.