batkins_

Earlier today, marketing executives from Burger King announced a series of television and radio spots as a response to McDonald's "I'm lovin' it" advertising. The new commercials will be centered around the slogan "I'm despisin' it."

MySpace pages that play music are no longer allowed. I've outlawed them. Yes. Goodbye, MySpace pages that play music.

I have a bio final tomorrow, then I might go back to New Jersey for the weekend. I have to be back at RPI on Tuesday to talk to the Department of Environmental Conservation and to take an economics final. Then I am done.

I went to get Chinese food in Troy tonight and there was insane traffic because there was a show at the Troy Music Hall. It was frustrating. I drove around for half an hour looking for a parking spot so I could spend two minutes picking up my food. No more of this, Troy. Get your act together. The next time I'm down there, I expect the ghost town I've come to know and love.

I popped my collar for the first time today. I didn't do it for fashion; I did it because it was crazy cold out and I have no scarf.

my livejournal said
"i need some entries right now"
so i said, "haiku?"

Go to your local movie theater. Purchase a ticket for Serenity. Watch it. Afterwards, you can thank me in the comments area.

I've got nothing to say, but I'm thinking about starting to use this thing. Maybe this post will get me started.

Encourage me with comments.



samy is my hero.

I don't have all that much to say here, but my last two entries were copies of e-mails I got, and I think that's pretty lame. So if you're just stumbling upon this journal for the first time, I don't want you to think that all I do is post e-mails. Please. I do so much more.

Here, have some fun.

(Hello, New Jersey)

This message made it past Gmail's spam blocker.

----- Original Message -----
From: melinda@ravenmag.net
To: Bill Atkins
Subject: arranged for RPI students, please do right away Bill
Date: February 25, 2005

Hey Bill, "If it's too offensive, then you're too old!" (That's what we say to all our critics...and there's plenty of THOSE. lol)

Because you're a Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute student Bill, I've set it up for you to get a discount of 66% off (only 1/3rd of what other people pay) the edgy underground humor magazine for guys that's been the subject of controversy since before the first issue even came out when printing companies refused to print it, and the US Post Office refused to mail it as "too offensive" unless we hid it from them in an envelope.

We're not controlled by advertisers or corporate publishers and we don't care who we piss off as the magazine makes fun of the political elite, religion, and "beloved" celebrities. But get it yourself and see what all the fuss is about. (This next issue has already raised complaints before it's even gone to print. )

Distributors are too scared of it so the only way for you to get it is to have it mailed by ordering it through the website at (link removed).

And you can see some pages from an actual issue using the link at the bottom of that main web page.

Order it on the website in the next few days and you'll immediately get the very un-PC Issue #1 which the printing company tried to kill. (They failed obviously)

Some of the pieces you'll get in that first issue include:

Oregon Trail Deluxe on the Apple IIGS: "The Worst Road Trip of All Time"
How To Explain War To Your Retard
Rules for Handling "Manhugs"
From The Notebook of Jonathan Murray (Producer of MTV's "The Real World")
Why Judaism Should Be Retired
12 Things Billionaires Do
Bush's Colin
How To Get Her to Say "Yes" To 'Back-Door' Lovin'

...AND it includes a full comic-book length first installment of our award-winning action sci-fi comic "Tranquility" (dark, a little violent, and original)

Then you'll get new Issue #2 hot off the press when it mails out to subscribers in just 3 weeks, which includes:

How To Convince Her To Have Your Abortion
Mexicans Can't Make Toast
Angry Black Man
Ashton Kutcher: Punk'd!
Missing Drunk Posters
Celebrity Mad Libs
Lynndie England: American Hero!
Bush's Nigerian Letter Scam
Won't You Be My Labor?: A Guide To Mexican Day Laborers In L.A.
How To Succeed In Television
...and the sure-to-cause controversy, "When I Was Jesus"

You want to do this in the next several days though to get the discount arranged for you before it gets removed from the website.

Hope things are going great with you, Bill. :)

--Melinda

In the words of the legendary Richard Steadman, study hall teacher extraordinaire: "Yeah.....you're cool."

I got a LiveJournal. You see, I used to have a Blurty for a journal, but then Blurty went and deleted all my old entries like a cold-blooded gangsta. I really didn't mind so much, because I haven't used Blurty in a while. But there's no way I'm going to make any more posts on Blurty, and I'm certainly not motivated enough to go out and make my own weblog. So LiveJournal it is.

I'm not totally sure yet what I'll say here. My life isn't all that exciting, so I expect I'll probably post pictures and links and random opinions and the occasional bit of goth poetry. You know. That kind of stuff.

I bought a bike the other day. I bought it from Wal-mart, which is kind of a shame. I trekked around Troy (hey alliteration, how you doin?) looking for these two bike shops I found on the Internet. Turns out, one of them didn't exist at all and the manager of the other one said he only repairs bikes now, and doesn't sell them. So I gave in and went to Wal-mart, where I got a $100 Mongoose. I've been riding all over since I got it. The hills of Troy, however, are not good for biking. Going down hills is a lot of fun - going towards downtown or coming back from Brunswick is basically just a matter of getting on the bike and then squeezing the brakes hard so you don't die when you hit supersonic. But going back up is nearly impossible. I can't even do it. I've had to walk my bike up most of the serious hills around here. I wonder if that will get better as I bike more.

I saw Pulp Fiction this weekend, on the recommendation of one Jordan Hagaman. Pulp Fiction is pretty freaking awesome. If you're ridiculous like me and still haven't seen it, please go do that.

I have pictures.