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stand before the thrall

this world is dead
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[05+Mar+2005+++++]
what a long, strange trip...

emily and i are dating FINALLY.
its been a long time coming..haha but im stoked that its finally worked out.

now as far as im concerned, this is the first real girlfriend that ive had. i consider my previous incarcerations more of a training exercise to help me learn about "women" and understand about how relationships work and function.
i say women loosely because all my previous girlfriends had a combined maturity/intelligence of a 10 year old. i shouldnt have been surprised though. dating 18 year olds isnt good practice if you want to be able to understand how actual adult females think and function. i couldnt be more excited that shes a year older than me as she actually has substance to her conversations and intelligence to her speech.
its just fucking great that i dont have to pretend to be interested in what my girlfriend is saying and to fake being happy to see her. i love the feeling of being able to relate to someone not only mentally but emotionally as well. its not really any of my Ex's fault (except maybe ashley who just refuses to grow up) and i didnt do very well either (as i myself was maturing and growing at the time) but to be at the point where im at now is very nice. i dont have to dumb myself down to relate to her and she doesnt have to pretend to be interested in what im talking about either.

this is a completley differant experience than anything ive ever experienced. im learning so much about life through her because shes so radically differant from me. i get to relearn so much through someone elses perspective and its so neat.
whether we stay together or not shes the best thing to happen to me in a long time for the sheer fact that ive learned so much over such a short span of time.


this will probably be my last post because i dont care about LJ anymore (not that i really did to begin with but whatever)

hey emilie, thanks for giving tyler my whats yr damage shirt and my other shirts to give to me. i really appreciate the time you took to sew and hem my shirts. they look great. im glad i got them back because id hate to have to pay all that money for those shirts only to give them to someone who, instead of sewing them like they promised, kept them and turned into a total bitch. thanks!!!!

edge, shrek, you have my cell number. call me and we'll get stupid drunk

jessie, call me and we'll get stupid drunk and make fun of hockey and democrats together..haha

kari, call me. we'll get sodas and potato chips.

to all my long distance LJ buddies, its been fun. totally!

to everyone else, life moves on and for better or worse youre not a part of mine anymore. not that i dont care...but i dont. and im sure you dont either. but then again i dont care.



fin
-j-d0ne-
7 comments you cant kill us all

[21+Feb+2005+++++]
RIP Hunter S Thompson
you cant kill us all

[19+Feb+2005+++++]
i want to lose a limb
i want to break my arm
i want to lose my vision
i want to feel real pain
i want to get stabbed in the chest
i want to get shot in the heart
i want to run for my life
i want to be in a hit and run
i want to fall three stories and live
i want to taste my own bile
i want to vomit blood
i want to be blindsided
i want to be hit with blunt force
i want to know what its like to lose a family member
i want to be homeless
i want to be at rock bottom
i want to be an alcoholic
i want to be neurotic
i want to go postal on my friends
i want to be admitted into a psych ward
i want to be tried for murder
i want to live my life on the edge of sanity and never fucking come back
you cant kill us all

[09+Feb+2005+++++]
havent updated in forever..got nothing to say
tomorrow i might be in cleveland for a 2 day music fest, dont know if i want to go or not.

only things im exciting about right now:
the repos are playing pittsburgh
RAMBO is playing pittsburgh
Zegota is playing pittsburgh
i bought some beatles LPs for a dollar each

things im not exciting about right now
i spent too much money lately
emily is in vegas for a week starting today.
i hate school
emily is in vegas for a week starting today.

i dont know what im going to do, haha. i miss her already...
eh, fuck it. she'll be back in a week. PLUS i get to pick her up from the airport on wednesday so thatll be sweet.
i really dont know whats going on between us. i mean im not looking for anything but if anything comes my way id probably accept it.
its just right now she is the only thing thats keeping me happy. i just love beyond love hanging out with her and spending time with her.
if we never become anything more im totally fine with it. i just enjoy your company beyond anything else in my life right now.

i dont know.whatev.
p34c3 0u7
1 comments you cant kill us all

[29+Jan+2005+++++]
holy fuck another adventurous day at school.
went to CDExchange and bought for 21 bucks:

EYEHATEGOD :in the name of suffering
EYEHATEGOD :take as needed for pain
GRIEF :turbulent times
DEAD KENNEDYS :fresh fruit for rotting vegetables
DROPDEAD/TOTALITAR :split cd

ummm learned some shit..but not really.
last night was fucking one of the best of my life.
albert broke up with dawn!!! woah, didnt see that coming.....
umm...SHREK AND EDGE LETS GO GET DRUNK TIL WE CANT FEEL FEELINGS ANYMORE.

other cliche antiquated quotes from mid to late 90s pop culture insert
here:_____________________________________________________

work tomorrow then going to brave new world hopefully. i need some new records. haha..fuck, im pathetic.
but hey, emily says im cute. so i guess its not as bad as i think. whatev.
peace out fucks.
3 comments you cant kill us all

[28+Jan+2005+++++]
WHAT THE FUCK IS ADEMA DOING ON EARACHE RECORDS???
1 comments you cant kill us all

[27+Jan+2005+++++]
recent orders from amazon.com:

saint vitus :V (roadrunner records press
cathedral :forest of equilibrium (relativity press
16 :curves that kick (bacteria sour label
trouble :the skull (metal blade press
celtic frost :morbid tales/emperors return (noise records import
venom :welcome to hell (relativity press
morbid angel :altars of madness (relativity press
metallica :kill em all (elektra press

so its a catch up on all the shit youve downloaded and buy the original presses for more money because youre fucking stupid like that kinda day.
that metallica is wayyyyyyy overdue. fuck...
you cant kill us all

[24+Jan+2005+++++]
so The Steelers lost...






HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2 comments you cant kill us all

[20+Jan+2005+++++]
i was just mailed an extra copy of the terminally your aborted ghost EP.
odd.
if anyone wants a trade let me know
2 comments you cant kill us all

[20+Jan+2005+++++]
IM GOING TO FUCK YOUR LIFE UP
IM GOING TO CRUSH YOUR SOUL
TWO DEMONS STAND BESIDE ME
AND NOW IM TAKING CONTROL!!!

I NEVER SLEEP
IVE GOT A SINISTER PLAN
YOUR WORLD IS WEAK
AND NOW IM TAKING COMMAND, ALLRIGHT!!!

BECAUSE I AM THE WARLOCK!!
I AM THE WARLOCK!!


IM GOING TO FUCK YOUR MIND UP
AND YOULL BE WRITHING IN PAIN
STARE DEEP INTO MY SCEPTRE
AND NOW YOURE GOING INSANE!!!

TRY AND RUN AND HIDE
IM GOING TO SMASH YOU IN HALF
BE SURE TO GATHER UP YOUR ARMY
HA HA, AND NOW YOURE MAKIN ME LAUGH, ALLRIGHT!!!

I WHISPER THE ANCIENT SCRIPTURES
I DRINK THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB
AND AS I BEGIN TO LEVITATE
THIS IS THE DAY OF THE DEAD, ALLRIGHT!!!

I AM THE WARLOCK!!
I AM THE WARLOCK!!
4 comments you cant kill us all

[19+Jan+2005+++++]
anyone know where i can get a good sega emulator and the shining force II game?
6 comments you cant kill us all

[16+Jan+2005+++++]
hey tyler, i want your japanese torture comedy hour cd
2 comments you cant kill us all

[16+Jan+2005+++++]
best anal cunt song ever, "you quit doing heroin(pussy)"
you cant kill us all

[16+Jan+2005+++++]
you look really bad with dark hair.

godDAMN its awful.


picked up an essential piece of beaver county music today at the oddest of places, Counter Action's cd.
oh man is it terrible...ohhh MAN... but anyway it got me thinking about putting out a cd again. id really like to go ahead and get it out as i know a lot of people that would be interested in a document of beaver county history.
hmmm.maybe i can set up some fund raiser shows or something. i dont know, but id like to put a cd out. i think thatd be neat.


bought the village! im so fucking excited. i havent watched it yet but rest assured it will be watched tomorrow and i WILL orgasm.
going to see white noise soon hopefully. maybe..also i need to go watch coffee and cigarettes. and i need to buy elephant and that other movie that i cant remember the name of.

picked up a bunch of cds over the weekend. im excited about them. tomorrow is Jerrys and brave new world if the weather is permitting.
but why am i telling you? you dont care.

watching eternal sunshine for the spotless ming again isnt as super exciting as the first time but it did cement a lot of things together for me which was nice. the extra disc of bonus shit is painfully lackluster; i was really hoping for more than that but oh well.
i need a girl like kate winslet but not as neurotic. independent but not out doing stupid shit that she'll regret years later when her brain develops. i dont know what i want. hmmm. oh well fuck it, i gotta work in 5 hours. sleep....
christ bleach your fucking hair. its fucking disgusting!

love,
jSUNN
1 comments you cant kill us all

[14+Jan+2005+++++]
THE CHAMPAGNE OF FESTS II: CLEVELAND Feb 10-12
THE CHAMPAGNE OF FESTS II
Thurs Feb 10 - Sat Feb 12 2005
@THE TOWER
8610 Madison Ave
Cleveland, OH
$5/night - BYOB - All Ages

THURSDAY February 10th

John Wiese
Emil Beaulieu
Jessica Rylan
N-Tron
Yes, Collapse

FRIDAY February 11th

Conelrad
Cotton Museum
Yeti Scalp
Plus Ultra
Zyklus II
Black Tent

SATURDAY February 12

Panicsville
Lockweld
Burning Star Core
EUU
Unicorn Hard-On
God Willing
Suffering Bastard
Steve Dracula
Clan of the Cave Bear
New Grooves



p.s. this might be my last post for a while as i have nothing interesting to post anymore. ill still comment to those journals i still frequent so dont worry!
p.p.s brian eno is a god
you cant kill us all

[08+Jan+2005+++++]
today was horrible. im in such a sad mood. ughh
not even seeing Io again made it any better.
i am absolutley 100% broke until thursday. brokest ive been in a looong time. i was barely able to afford to get into the show.
the food i bought sucked.
listened to nothing all day except for the amps for christ album on repeat a zillion times and the new Io EP.
i just couldnt (and still cant) listen to anything today. i want to fucking scream until my heart explodes.
today was shit
1 comments you cant kill us all

[07+Jan+2005+++++]
man im glad i only paid 10 bucks for that relapse contamination dvd
the only set worth watching is neurosis (and its definetley worth 10 bucks)

remind me to never see cephalic carnage live.

ever


p.s. the house of low culture "repress" looks super nice. i got #20 of 116. lucky fuck!!!
3 comments you cant kill us all

[06+Jan+2005+++++]
what a ridiculous night.
i kissed Lisa more times than i ever thought i would get to ever.
and it felt soooo good...hahaha
fucking INSANE at Christians house..i cant even begin to understand what happened..
fuck, im going to bed. with dreams of lisa in my head..



haha FUCK..
7 comments you cant kill us all

[05+Jan+2005+++++]
what a haul today..
between the show and cd exchange i got:

7"
the repos/fourteen or fight split red
assrash EP blue
the spark :less slow more go:
the spark split EP (to be mailed when they get home from tour because they were sold out of tour copies.)
get real EP green
86mentality EP
the nitz/conga fury split
v/a :half life "under the knife" covers EP #270 of 300. 4 punk bands doing covers of the half life EP. includes caustic christ
cd
bruce banner :ive had it with humanity
at the gates :slaughter of the soul (original press)
mortician :domain of death
chain of strength :the one thing that still holds true
ruiner :3 song demo
the spark :tour cd-r

so it was old school hardcore, grindcore and fastcore fest today
the show was a lot of fun. the spark was really good. kim phuc was very much fun. suburban death machine was great as always and ruiner was a lot of fun.

now off to the bar to get CRUNKIFIED. its jam night at TO NI NOs

shit yeah
you cant kill us all

[05+Jan+2005+++++]
YES YES YES YES YES

i won my cavity somewhere between the train station cd! fuck yes, now i can listen to it in my car instead of just wishing i had an LP player in my car.
AND i won a comp 7" with apt213, gob, noothgrush and like 3 other bands i dont know of.
fuck fucking yes. i could shit myself.
you cant kill us all

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