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Wow... It is so nice to be home... But I am going to go back home on monday...? Where is my home?
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I've never been more scared in my whole life.
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In th past week I have only used my house for sleeping. Seriously. I have been out and about every single day. I love it. My parents hate it. They are starting to realize that I will not be living here next year... 

I have been branching out lately. Well, only a little, but at least it's some. I have been haging out with new people and being put  in...new... situations. It is definitly testing me, but i like it. I never go out of my comfort zone, but in he past week I have done it more than in the past year. 

The sun is just tearing my skin up! I put tons of sun screen on, yet I still feel the wrath of  sun burn. 

I have been trying to figure out who I am lately. I have had conflicts with good friends, been away from home, put into new situations, and i am trying to figure this all out. But really, I don't think I'll ever 'find myself'. I mean, how does one go about such a journey?

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Woaha whoha! I had orientation wednesday and thursday and it was...great.  On the way there I was about to throw up. I didnt want to go at all and was stressin out big time. Then I got there. Big change. I loved it! I made friends and got MSU propaganda pushed up my ass and had fun and I am finally ready to go to college. It has always been this bipolar thing with me. I want to get away from high school, but I am terrified of everything that goes along with college. It is different now. I got cool classes and I love my residential college and the atmosphere and...everything. I know I am just all pumped up right now, but it feels good to feel good! I have been in such a depressed mood lately, but being out of my comfort zone and meeting new people was a mood changer. 


I realized this week that I am always comparing people's looks to other people's looks. I am always like "omg that girl looks a mix of 'so and so' and 'so and so'. Or i just say "oh you act just like so and so". What i am really getting at is that these thoughts make me think about how everyone is connected and related in someway. They say that everyone had a "twin", but maybe not just a "twin", maybe just a bunch of brothers and sisters? Not like Adam and Eve shit, just connected because of universal boundries.


Since it seemed to be the favorite question at orientation, I'll ask it here: What is your favorite movie? (explanations welcome)
Current Location:
Panera Bread
Current Mood:
content content
Current Music:
Panera Jazz?
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Are all movies that have won a Best Picture Academy Award given 4 stars? 

Can a movie who didn't win best picture get 4 stars?
 

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So this weekend was quite the experiece. I went camping with dayna and her older sister and her two friends. They all go to MSU and dayna and I are going there too, so it was pretty cool. I had a great weekend, but what I really learned is that I am afraid to go to college. Really, I don't want to go. I want to stay home and paint shit or write or something for the rest of my life. I learned this weekend that I always "play it safe". I am afraid that I am too afraid! I will spend my whole life worrying about everything and never be calm. I am not discrediting the weekend, though. It was one of the best I've had all summer. I am just coming to realizations about myself. 



This is such a weird time. I am not in high school and I am not in college. I don't really know where I am. 


When I was little iused to try to picture what I'd be like when I was older. I tried, but I never could. I used to think that i couldnt see myself in the future because I was gonna die before I got to be that old. Now I am this age. I don't think I am gonna die anymore, but now I wonder... what would formber Allison think of current Allison? Would she be proud? (I hope I would) I think the same thing when I am hanging out with friends, would our former selvs approve of our behavior, would they believe we are even friends? Would you all be proud of yourselves?
Current Location:
silla
Current Mood:
cranky cranky
Current Music:
silencio
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Woaha woaha! I am suprised to see so many people still on LJ... I thought that facebook and myspace kinda took over. I am all back into this shit now! 

Is anyone else watching "I love the New Millenium"? This is recent shit- Im lovin' it. The "I Love the_____" or "Best Week Ever" are the only thing that is keeping VH1 going for me. I like that I can actually relate to the material. The 90's? I wasn't watching CNN, I was playing barbies. So I like actually knowing all this stuff in the show. Uh yeah, my excitment is pretty lame i guess...

I ran into Lindsey Perry at Alpine today. I like seeing that old friends are still alive. 

So my mom and I were talking today and she told me about this situation that happened to her friend at a Las Vegas hotel. So here it is: You find a few thousand dollars in a menu thing in your hotel room. What do you do?

Current Location:
sótano
Current Mood:
anxious anxious
Current Music:
VH1
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Current Location:
sótano
Current Mood:
blank blank
Current Music:
Everything's Just Wonderful - Lilly Allen
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Another entry...this is getting more pathetic as the night goes on...

I was looking at old enteries of friends and it is making me more depressed than nastolgic. Seriously, I'm crying.

I went to change my bio and interests now that I am nuMb3r 1 Lj F@n eva, so I erased my interests and began to write new ones. Then I erased that and kept my old ones. I dont really know why i guess, I think I am afraid of chaging too much. I was a pretty big freak in my LJ hay day, but a least I was happy. Some of those interests are so weird and funny though. Asain boys? I liked Asain boys? Maybe that's why I love Andy Leyder. Not the point. The point is that i am afraid of becoming this different, serious person who is depressed and crys all the time. I don't really know what kind of girl I am, but i don't think I'd ever choose this. I just wanted to keep a reminder of Alliso Mc, #1 cheerleader around. 

I am sorry about the depressing, almost too personal entery. Not that anyone is actually reading this... (I'll just pretend)
Current Location:
sótano
Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
Sleeping Lessons- The Shins
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