"We'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. But tonight, tonight will be magical."

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 06:21:44 GMT

Why the fuck am I updating this? I don't have a clue, besides that I want to clear somethings up, if only for the future me who will be sure to scan my past, pathetically pessimistic entries in a year or so.

My life has changed drastically. To give you a head's up, I am slightly drunk and my fingers are sliding every which way around the keyboard.

I work at a movie theatre. I like it. Boys like me there. It's a fantastic feeling. In fact, the entire idea of boys liking me is still a mind-boggler ever since I was that shy, slightly chubby freshman. I have to divulge that I look a tad different these days. I've grown up and I am no longer shy.

I still hate school, but for different reasons, I guess. I rarely go, in fact. Most of the time I sleep in or leave early. My grades have slacked a bit, but I don't care because I am going to IU and they will accept anyone who can attempt to pay for college. If I really want to know, for future reference, what my daily classes are like, they go as follows:
English: I dislike female teachers. I don't have anything against this one in particular, but just the gender issue? I don't know.
Math: My teacher looks like a penis. It's rather funny. Her hair and everything.
US History: My teacher is a sexist, racist bastard. He fancies the cheerleaders and has this overwhelming sense of authority.
LUNCH: I LOVE MY FUCKING LUNCH TABLE!
(pause for brief sip of jagermeister)
ehhh...
Film Lit: very nice. i'm reading high fidelity. it's insightful, yet somewhat depressing.
newspaper: i'm usually not present in this class. if i am, i take pictures. and then i leave.

weird cult favorites: i love watching leonardo dicaprio movies in psych. i love psychology. i love english with rakic. only rakic. hmmm? he reminds me of the protagonist in munich. i want to be a model. i sneak onto model's webpages a lot and am completey fascinated. shallow, unrealistic, i don't give a fuck. i love da al-g show. borat is seriously incredible. i've seen the roots, ben folds, wilco, and death cab in concert updated as of tuesday. boys fascinate me. and i fascinate boys. it's a two-way street. and i know what to do. i love work. seriously. these people are really awesome. i drink a lot. and smoke. there's no reason not to, as long as i am still smart. i love 80's music. preferably, new order, echo & the bunnymen, dexy's, and depeche mode. depeche mode's "enjoy the silence" speaks to me on their lyrical level. fuck, that shot did me in. i drive a fucked car. it breaks down every other week and my dad disconnected to radio/CD. i want a puppy for christmas and i want to date two boys right now but i don't know which one, but that doesn't really matter because it's out of my control. i feel out of sorts, take that as whatever. i'm tired, but i'm also floaty and i don't want to waste in on sleep. i don't sleep. i drink too much coffee and think about my perfect life too much to actual shape it to that point. Panera's french onion soup is mother-fucking incredible. I hate sorority girls who wear shorts in November with UGG boots and big sunglasses indoors. They're stupid and more importantly ugly and i hate them because i feel inferior to them. i want to go to chicago with a boy who loves me (NEW!) and see the strokes and go to new year's eve parties with a sexy, black shirt that plunges in a square on the back.

i feel like if i say anything else i would be merely retarded. goooodnight! gooooodnight!

Another headaches, another heartbreaks

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 16:44:03 GMT

Some thoughts on a Monday morning.

I like sticking my head into the ice machine at work because the smell reminds me of the materials used at Disney World, perhaps on a log type ride. Also, I imagine that smell would relate to Alaska, like icebergs, because it doesn't hurt your nose. That kind of smell is what you get in Indiana.

I want to collect more DVD's. I have The Audrey Hepburn DVD Collection, Donnie Darko, and Sin City. I want To Kill A Mockingbird, Say Anything, and V For Vendetta.

My dreams keep getting stranger and stranger these days.

I like alcohol, preferably beer.

My new favorite song is All These Things That I've Done by The Killers.

My dream world has gotten a little far-fetched lately. In such world I would currently be in Disney World with a certain number of friends and family in our private hotel or apartment at The Polynesian. I would also be a known model, run track and cross country, be a generous person and volunteer, be fun loving, and most importantly my boyfriend would still look at me the way he used to-- that crazy, almost fiery look he used to have whenever I smiled. And unfortunately, I am or have none of those.

I am having this fight with my brain by deciding whether I like working at the movie theatre more than at the snack bar. I am leaning towards the snack bar for various reasons. First, it pays more and the hours don't suck. Secondly, I could read and listen to music and talk on my cell phone. Third, my boss didn't really boss me (and unfortunately, I didn't understand this until my second job). The movie theatre is really strict. Our uniform has to be perfection and if your shirt isn't tucking in then you are either written up or fired on the spot. This situation depends on whether the district manager likes you and the chances he does are slim. Plus the work is really shitty. Popping popcorn and shoveling it to and fro is not exactly fun. I don't have to take out the trash or deal with racoons, but I feel really greasy at the end of the day. I am also technically required to upsell, but I think I would feel like a crook if I ever even tried. If I were a customer I would not want someone to say "Would you like to upgrade that to a Mega Combo for $2 bucks more?" I like the people that work there a lot more though. That is probably the only reason I am still working. I met up with a couple last night at Pirates. Everyone is so close to each other. With them I feel normal, not like I have to pretend to be a prissy bitch like at the pool. And that's about it.

I want to call Kristie and go to Chicago. If I don't leave the town I am going to go insane. Have I not already?

Update!

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 22:26:15 GMT

Wow, it's be almost a year since I've been on this site.

Everything has changed and I mean that in the best way possible.

I have had a boyfriend (yes!--me, the ultimate pessimist has a boyfriend) since June of last year. He is amazing and he makes me feel like the only girl in the world.

I am not longer anorexic (which I was--for those few who didn't know). It was very hard then, I was really deep into it, and Chelsee was close to telling my parents. Then, I just stopped. I became more attached to D and that time just kind of closed out. I wouldn't part with my diet pills until December, though. I confessed to D about my eating disorder last summer and he helped me take them to a dumpster. I know that's lame, but it kind of bolted the door on that miserable time of my life.

What else...

I smoke a lot of pot. A lot. Everyone does here. But I don't really drink that much, I don't really know why.

I don't watch Dawson's Creek. A year ago, I would have been completely shocked, but it really doesn't bother me.

I can drive.

I have gotten really into Photography. I am a serious dark room junkie.

I still hate math and science.

I am still a perfectionist.

Most of all, though, I have lived. I don't think I could honestly have said that a year ago.

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 02:44:01 GMT

(I tried to post this on taketosea, but photobucket is crazed these days. Regardless...)

Please sign.

Wed, 04 May 2005 21:26:50 GMT

New username: vanishupshore. Please add me.

Mon, 02 May 2005 14:43:59 GMT

To say the least (and I mean very least) my house has been buzzing with comments pertaining to the entire Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise thing. Now, of course, you must remember that when Katie and Chris broke up I was oh-so-excited that maybe, just maybe Katie would realize that her and Pacey are really very cute. I guess not. That’s fine. Really. They had their thing. It’s over. But Tom Cruise? Really Katie? Oh, well. Who am I to talk?

Meanwhile, we had a bit of a disaster at my house. While watching Desperate Housewives, I kind of sort of may have accidentally attempted (attempted being the operative word) to make green tea in the microwave by first heating up water in a metal cup. In my defense however, I am retarded, I understand this, but there were no other cups clean except plastic. And no one ever told me about the relationship between metal and the microwave. After doing this, our house stunk of this awful and indescribable smell for the rest of the night. And our microwave blew up.

My mom hardly let me make coffee this morning, something I cannot possibly make it through the day without.

Sun, 01 May 2005 22:39:48 GMT

Today is the first day of May. Weird.

This morning I went out to the BCC with Chels to talk about the summer with Ann. Joy. Being out there for just 30 minutes makes me look even more less forward to the summer, which is really depressing. I am started to wish I had weighed my options more heavily. Moreso, Ann asked what I was paid last year. She did so on the spot, just staring idly at me while I tinkered with possible numbers, none of which seemed accurate. I finally told her six or seven, maybe, to which she said, "I think it was six." Oh well, look on the bright side, there is coffee. A lot of freaking coffee.

So, not to be indulgent on my behalf, but my life is perfection. That is, it should be. My room is a freaking palace, organized and efficient. I even washed my frothy white curtains today. Moreso, my computer is absolutely amazing. iTunes is finally up and running and my computer has definately stopped freezing up every two seconds. Though the best part is my array of Microsoft choices. I have never seen such an awesome version of Powerpoint. And I have Publisher, probably the coolest application ever. Score! I am such a formatting freak these days.

Ohhhh and we are getting Insight Broadband Wednesday, which means my sister and I won't fight over the interent anymore (AMAZING!) and my dad won't be screaming at us to use the phone.

And I watched four episodes of Sex and the City today. And I vacuumed. I love vacuuming. Things are certainly looking up!

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 23:18:58 GMT

So, I am updating on my sisters computer. When I came down here to do so a few minutes ago, a yellow post-it caught my attention. It was stuck onto her computer screen and read "CHANGE IS THE NEW SAME." Now, I have literally not talked to my sister in four days. Such a thing has not happened in at least eight months. Today, however, I was watching The Gilmore Girls when she came up stairs, all boggly-eyed and crawled onto the couch with me wailing that she did not want college to end and that everyone is leaving. I told her that it was the perfect time to meet new people, just what she always wanted. She stalked gloomily away, probably remembering the fute we have been in since last week. Now, sure, my sister is witty, funny at times, and way too sarcastic, but then again I am biased. She is also a sponge, in that she is completely self-absorbed. She is also a bitch. But, she is my sister. And she has set some fantastic examples for me to follow (some, not so much). Today was her last day of college, next week is finals, and the week after she heads off to work at Progressive.

Moving on. So, I seem to have this fetish with The WB theme songs. I think that it should be some weird logo that they have god-awful theme songs. I mean, Dawson's Creek? (though that song has truly grown on me), The Gilmore Girls?, and please, don't even get me fucking started on 7th Heaven. I hate everything about that show. Now, of course, I do like the Smallville tune as well as One Tree Hill (though a bit sick of all the hype surrounding Gavin Degraw). It's just weird that I am either growning at a theme song or bopping around, taking in every last second. I guess there is not in between.

Also, I had this horrific thing happen to me involving the girls' bathroom (no, no, not what you think), but I did recall seeing a poem (I guess) that said "Razors lead to Roses". Now, such a thing is quite gruesome. However, would you rather be thinking about someone cutting themselves in the bathroom stall you are in or this: my sister was in the bathrooom at IU, walked in, looked at the grafiti and read, "I HAD SEX HERE." Now, I think I'd rather go with the cutting. Perhaps, neither.

Further, I am changing my screename. My perfectionist nature has called out that it is, indeed, time. I am thinking of screenames now. So far on the list is oceanbreathessalty and theworldatlarge. Suggestion would be helpful. I like little saying with no numbers or ideally no spaces (didn't quite luck out of the askmetostay_ thing). And anyway, I mean, CHANGE IS THE NEW SAME.

Wed, 27 Apr 2005 16:27:03 GMT

Has anyone ever met someone who is 5'11? I find that people who are just an inch off of six foot tend to round up, perhaps even ultimately forgetting their true height.

Besides mindless, yet amusing food for thought, I picked up my computer from PC Max yesterday night. Okay. Everything is so, so wrong. First and foremost, they deleted my iTunes library. Even after perfusily pleading that they place it into a back-up folder (which they did, with an empty iTunes library folder. Nice job.). Also, my computer freezes up A LOT, I still do not have the internet, they said they downloaded IU Ware as well as Norton, but really, they did not. At all. So, back goes my computer as well as a nice discussion with the employees at PC Max.

FIVE MORE WEEKS OF SCHOOL KIDS!! PLUS A FOUR DAY WEEKEND IN MAY AS WELL AS WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY OFF NEXT WEEK (Wednesday is teacher conferences and I have an appointment at Riley on Thursday morning in Indianapolis)

SO REALLY, JUST FOUR AND A HALF WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT. THAT IS 22/23 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL. THAT IS SO FREAKING TOO MUCH.

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 14:46:21 GMT

Today I am going to tell the world about why I hate (hate being the operative word, and let me tell you, I mean it.) the librarian at school.

I will start out with a scenario that just literally happened five minutes ago. And I am full-fledging it, quotations and all.

“Do you still carry your backpack around due to your physical problem?”

I look at her questioning with a hint of hatred, though I have no idea what she is saying since I was listening to my iPod at the time.

“Would you be polite and take those off?”

I take them off.

“Do you still carry that because of your injury?”

“Yes.”

“Well… okay.”

By the way, it is ALL about the tone of her, without such, it might be hard to imagine her in such vividness that I can. Now, I should have answered no, that I don’t have a physical problem and that I am enrolled in Study Hall rather than gym because of no absolute reason. Oh and that is why I am practically addicted to pain medication. Yet, though I have told her, even with a pass from my GC, she still doesn’t believe me. Hell, she won’t even let anyone go to the bathroom. Witch.

Besides that, she is ALWAYS nonchalantly browsing what we are typing on our computer, claiming that she is checking for unrelated school topics, which is understandable. However, the fact that she stands behind people like a hulk is quite bothersome, especially when actually working on a very important paper for a very important class.

Overall, though, she is just a completely rude person. And the fact that she asked me to be polite to her (must be some weird adult thing where they crave respect, even though their attitude does not deserve anything, especially respect.) is lucrative. Really.

I am never, without thought, giving back any of the books I have checked out. See, I plan to welcome a new librarian to BHSS, one who is nice and boppy and eternally friendly. God willing.

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 19:25:42 GMT

Today, I recieved an unexpected call from the devil, or so I thought. Now, it has been weeks, almost a month even, since I have come into contact with said girls. I see them after lunch, smile brightly, wave, the end. This is how it is supposed to be. However, for no apparent reason I answered it and told them that I was car shopping with my sister today (I am the master of making up quick lies).

Something must be wrong with me. Why can't I hold down a friendship (maybe because the people you are friends with are awful, insipid people)? For the past several months I have been so in tune with myself that I have become numb to everything else. Yesterday, I found pictures from New York last summer, took one glance, tore them up, and flushed them down the toilet. So much for memories. I always have to start clean. That is why I have had about a dozen LJ usernames since last year. I just can't handle things. And I am quiet, something that most people who know me well cannot understand. I will never just go up to someone and introduce myself, I can't imagine doing anything like that. And I have lost my sarcasm over the last few months, something that has kept me going.

I am also so tired of people asking me for things. I am tired of my sister (who just this morning openly called herself a bitch in front of the entire family) only thinking and talking about herself. And when, for once, she does ask about me, she doesn't listen. She is so selfish I can't even stand to be around her anymore. That is why I have stopped going out for coffee or on long drives with her, it's because I just can't handle listening to her talk about her ex-fiance or new Matt or Jake or John, but now it's Jake and not John, or bitching about how, although my parents have paid for her entire college, she takes complete credit for it and even e-mails people telling them that she paid for it. I hate that. I hate it so much. It is always about her. Even when walking, I'll say, "Kas, let's go over here for a sec," she will comeback with a, "But I want to go over here!". It is like my 23 year-old sister is younger than me. I hate it. And I hate how whenever I give her the cold shoulder, she attacks me with various questions pertaining to why I am mad at her and then she tries to make me laugh, which has gotten to be too much for me lately. However, the worst things my sister can do to me is when I see her in the afternoon and she tells me that mom said I was anorexic or that mom is worried because I don't go out with people at school to drink and shit. One day even, just last week, my sister told me that mom said that I watched too many Olsen twins movies and that, since I am shy, I pretend they are my friends. What the fuck?! Are you kidding me? I have not watched an Olsen twin movie since I was in elementary school. I only like them now for their fashion sense and what not. And most of all, I do not pretend they are my friends. My family is fucking crazy. Whenever they go out without me they talk about me. I know this because my sister tells me every goddamn detail.

I hate my life. Fuck.

I must share with the world!

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 02:24:24 GMT

The inevitable has been accomplished.

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 02:07:00 GMT

Today, I cleaned my room. Now, to some of you who do not know me very well, cleaning a room may seem as normal as eating a bowl of cereal. Not for me. I have not cleaned my room to this degree since summer. That is over eight months ago. The next observation might be that I have said I am a perfectionist, which is true, but I perfect things I can take a hold on- such as homework, tests, friendships, relationships, health, etc. Not cleaning my room. Cleaning my room (which has a variety of useless objects ranging from a blue clay dog I was given that held so much sentimental value that I was never able to throw it away or random computer parts, like broken speaker pieces or a scuffed mouse) was such a big, dreary task that I decided to give up on it. Basically, my room is the definition of clutter, also known as the place where a number of creatures hide away in dark corners. Not now! Now, my room is spick and span, so much so that I dusted. I dusted. That never happens. When have I ever dusted? Never. My closet is clean, my armoir is clean, my desk is clean, my nightstand is clean, everything is all clean. It is so liberating. In fact, our upstairs hallway was half way full of trash.

Besides that, I am transferring my internet to SBC Broadband, I also have over 90 e-mails that I cannot read on my AOL account, mainly because South blocked the site and my sister's computer is too slow to download the e-mails. I think I am going to go to the Union before we cancel the account to see if I am missing something important.

Today I watched I Heart Huckabees, something that my sister has recently become addicted to, which means quoting it constantly. I think it's really good as well. I don't understand why the reviewers trashed it so harshly. And the music is amazing.

I ALSO WATCHED THE BEST GILMORE GIRLS EPISODE I HAVE EVER SEEN TODAY. IT IS WHEN RORY AND LORELIE ENTER THE SWING DANCE CONTEST FOR 24 HOURS, COFFEE MUCH INVOLVED, JESS COMES TO THE EVENT AND JUST STARES AT RORY THE ENTIRE TIME, RORY BREAKS UP WITH DEAN AND ENDS UP AT A DOCK WITH JESS. AND AT THE VERY END JESS SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW HE HAS TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING. IT IS SO AMAZING. DAWSON CREEK-LIKE AMAZING. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS EPISODE, YOU MUST WATCH IT MONDAY AT FOUR PM ON ABC FAMILY. AND ALTHOUGH I AM HAPPY I WILL HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE TO SEE IT AGAIN, I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS BETWEEN JESS AND RORY BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FUCKING BEHIND ON ALL WB SHOWS.

Goodnight!

You've got too much to wear on your sleeve.

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 16:40:07 GMT

420 is an overrated holiday (if you can call it a holiday) and if I here another goddamn comment, like "Yeah dude, I'm sooooo getting fucking stoned tonight cause its 420," I am going to scream, which is really bad because my scream is nothing like Sarah Jessica Parkers. More so, I am angry at 420 (as if it were a real person) because I had to paraphrase our dialogue in Spanish because this girl, although she swore she would be there, did not show up. Of course.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 16:24:52 GMT

I think that I relate way too much to The Bell Jar. After reading it a few weeks ago I realized how much I think like her, which is really awesome as I always wanted to commit suicide in about a dozen different ways. Not.

I am taking my computer into PC Max tonight. I have even compiled a list of necesities, most of which entails iTunes paraphanalia as well as the newest version of Word, which is really the most exciting of all things. Really.

My sister came across a way to download free music again. It's pretty ghetto, not anything like Morpheus or Kazaa (believe me, I know everything there is to know about those to providers), but it gets the job done. In fact, I downloaded the theme to Sin City that is all of the commercials as well as a lot of other songs I have been in much need of.

I have a math midterm in about ten minutes, I seldom studied. Perhaps I should be a bit worried.
I also have a map quiz in World Geography, but I dominate on every single map quiz.
I had a vocab test first period, yet I forget the words at school last night so I winged it. Vocab tests are too easy.
Pedro completely filed out all of our mistakes on our dialogue. It was amazing.

Oh yes, and
SIX MORE WEEKS OF GOD-AWFUL HELL! (the person beside me must think I am crazy, perhaps because she just starred me down. Oh well, just six weeks. I'll be done. SIX WEEKS! Probably only five with what all of our days off in the next few months! Speaking of which, we have Friday off. YES!)

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 14:43:05 GMT

I feel like my brain is running on default. Since last weekend I have had nonstop migrains- piercingly painful at any rate- and have found that absolutely no drug will ease this pain. So, me being the definition of paranoid, I check what the various symptoms of diseases on Web MD. Wed MD has always freaked me out a little bit, it must be my paranoidness. Whenever I see a symptom that relates to me in any way ("Oh no! Back pain relates to arthritis!? And soy relates to memory loss as in Alzheimers Disease?") I freak out for the next day and a half, convinced that I will indeed have whatever the symptom relates to. And I am sure I probably will, because, if anything, I am still in that day and half after checking range.

On Thursday I must present a dialogue in Spanish. It is 100 points. I have three partners that are never in class, prefering to rather sleep, use drugs, or something that relates to other illegal parafinala. I made these crappy props last night while watching 24 (which has been oh-so-overwhelming for me as I have been scwinting at almost every scene in the past two episodes) and I typed up the dialogue, hoping that Pedro will check it today in class. If not, well then, I'm screwed. Like that never happens.

I also switched to Study Hall, which means that I will never have to take a gym class for the rest of my life. I hate school gym, hate, hate, hate. I'd much rather work out on an eliptical in the confines of my house. Anyway, switching to Study Hall means that I did not get through the loop-hole and am one credit short of what I should be. But, our graduation credits are so low even with an honors degree that I should make it through unscathed. Should, but you know my luck.

Lastly, my J. Crew skirt came in the mail last night and I have been frolicking around in it ever since. I even curled my hair today slightly as to immitate the image in an J. Crew magazine. Yes, absolutely pathetic. Annie (this girl that I hate more than anything, poppy, preppy, insipid, stupid, and way too energetic for everyone) even complemented me. But I shook it off because I don't like her, at all.

I am muy cansada. Oh yes, welcome back to my unusual mixture of English and Spanish language.

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 15:06:13 GMT

Did I go to The Roots concert last night? Yes!
Did I buy a big, black THE ROOTS t-shirt? Of course.
Did I meet the band? YES!

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 14:40:11 GMT

Exciting news.

First of all, and I have known this for quite some time, guess who is coming for Little 500? The Roots. The Roots are performing at the auditorium the weekend of the 500. However, my sister, the one that actually attends IU and should know this, completely spaced the fact that they were coming, (even with the plethora of posters, signs, Facebook posts, etc…) and did not get tickets. In fact, they sold out in 48 hours. That pretty much leaves both of us begging for tickets, at any price (scalping, pining, anything). So, just a few minutes ago, I was walking to library from gym when I see this guy I know. I stopped to talk to him and suddenly he shouts, “Oh my GOD! Kelly, I saw the drummer from The Roots yesterday at the theater!” and of course, I was in utter amazement, as the concert is not for quite some time, and to think that The Roots are amongst us, here, in Bloomington, Indiana. Shocking.

This morning, in English I went to the library once again (I’m a nerd. In fact, I spend most of my time in the library either reading, doing useless homework, or on the Internet. Fun, fun, fun.) and found this OUTSTANDING copy of The World According To Garp. It’s from the ‘70’s, has a 3’5 index card attached to the cover as to aid in the cover not falling off, is all crinkly, and has yellow pages. It was also wrapped up in a plastic cover as to protect the fragile pages from ripping out. However, I tore the plastic off in the bathroom. Needless to say, I do not intend on checking this incredible copy back into the library. It is now mine.

Yesterday was nice, although I had a few temper tantrums at the end of the night pertaining to my useless computer. My printer jammed last night as well, which led to much ripping and tearing and a large cut on my finger from the cartridge sliding dumbly back and forth. But, I fully intend on taking my computer to the shop this weekend (I sound like I am taking a car in to change its oil) to take off all of the worthless things that were put on my computer by the friendly people at Dell. And to get my AOL back up and running, as I have 67 e-mail messages I am unable to read.

Okay, now I am off to read my awesome version of Garp.

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 02:12:22 GMT

The past two weeks have been exactly like this:

English: Computer Lab. Type paper after paper after paper. Rather boring, especially when the mandatory topic is not to your liking which is not exactly the greatest thing.

Gym: So, I'm pretty much getting out of that class and into study hall, but with the gym credit. Somehow. For the time being, I either wait for my teacher to sign a pass to the library or scrawl it out myself. Like I care what the evil librarian tyrant thinks.

Math: Lesson after lesson, then homework after homework, then test. REALLY AWESOME- especially when my teacher gives us in depth discussions on which gun to buy (speaking of which I completely support PETA in the entire "Let's kill cats in Wisconsin" deal). Worthless.

World Geography: Not only did I get the country of choice (Italy), but my retarded assigned partner fucked up the presentation. I miss Combs.

Spanish: Pedro's mother died, so he's in Puerto Rico or Cuba or somewhere down there (he's spoken of many places before) so we have been given about a thousand assignments, none of which I plan to do as Pedro will not even take a look at them. In fact, all I've been doing in that class is listening to my iPod and reading countless books... which is good.

NO WONDER I FEEL WITLESS AND STUPIDER ONCE I'VE BEEN THROUGH A DAY AT SCHOOL!
Oh well, at least I ordered the LAST aqua blue fluttering skirt from J. Crew tonight (and my mom paid). Awesome.

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 14:44:06 GMT

I don't think that my brain wants to think or work anymore. This thought came to me when writing a comparitive essay on something as easy as Bend It Like Beckham. Yet all I got on paper was the film title, the directors name, and a sentece description of Jess. Then I went blank. Perhaps this insane amount of reading I have plunged into has my brain chock-full of too much literature (and thank you all for the reading suggestions).

In better news, I have finally accomplished the task of downloading songs from iTunes. I did it in such a round-a-bout kind of way, however, that after I downloaded two songs I was distraught at the fact that such a simple complex could be so complicated for me. I had to search and search and search for my iTunes disk that came with the iPod (my room is not what you would call “organized”). After which I downloaded it onto my sisters computer, then attempted to punch in the code from the Pepsi lid someone gave me, but that would not work. Apparently, you must first make enter your credit card number, even if you just want to damn free song. So, I did that, but it still wouldn’t work. I even tried to do it off of itunes.com. So, I finally just gave in and paid $2 for Jerk It Out by The Caesars and a song by David Gray. So take this long paragraph as a warning to those who plan on drinking gallons upon gallons of Pepsi for free music: it is not as easy as it seems.

But completely worth it as whenever I hear Jerk It Out I just go crazy.

HELP!

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 19:48:30 GMT

I am currently in a frenzy to read as many classic novels as possible. PLEASE comment and list the books at which you have read and loved.

Thank you!

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 22:19:43 GMT

School has been excruciatingly boring. I mean ful-fledge I-want-to-kill-myself boring. How many people can honestly say that when bored?

I would now like to take the time to prove why perfectionism does have its faults.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 21:45:33 GMT

Yesterday in Powells' World Geography class we were in the library. I had already finished researching my country (Italy) so I scanned a few books I was interested in (many Irving novels). Just before the bell rings, Powell came right up to me and said, "Aren't you at the top!" (also, it seems as though people don't ask questions to me lately, rather just statements) I replied something in the way of a "What?" to which he says "Your grade! You have a 100%!" (and to think I thought he was referring to A Prayer For Owen Meany, permanently attached to my hands). "Oh, thank you." I said in my best school-ish voice. "You see," he continued, "it just astonishes me how the quietest of people can have the most amazing minds. It really does." This scenario went on for another few minutes while he asked who, exactly, was my partner (a freckly red haired kid I could not name) among other things.
The next period was Spanish. Now, my Spanish teacher things I am a fucking nerd. Really. An absolute retard that sits at home studying conjugating verbs every five minutes. This, just because I ask the most intricate questions or make him check my 200 point study guide. Big deal. Anyway, we had that 200 point test Tuesday, but I took it on Monday because he mentioned that we should study are asses off over the weeked. So, I did. Sort of. But that isn't true nerd behavior as it was 200 points and foreign language has never been my specialty. Anyway, the next day I come in (while everyone is taking the test) and he blatantly screams "You got a perfect score lady-in-the-corner!!" (ie: lady-in-the-corner is my new name due to my seating location as well as the fact that he just doesn't know my name). So, EVERYONE stares at me. EVERYONE. I hear a few "Oooohs!" and what not. Then, I smile. Yes, I smiled. I was actually playing the part of the girl who I even hate. The perfect girl who gets the perfect grade and shows it off smutingly. The thought makes me want to projectile vomit. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just sit there with any angry face as though I deserved more. It was quite a bind. Quite the impossible bind to be absolutely correct.

Oh well. I am taking a very short break from being the perfect student. Just so long as I can spend some time on other things than not have to worry about assignments due Friday (which I don't completely do anyway!).

Yeah, right.

Oooooh, what a day!

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 16:13:08 GMT

A day, indeed. When you wake up 20 minutes late you just know it won't be the amazing day that everyone in the entire world just dreams will happen. No. It doesn't work that way. Instead, I made it to my math teachers classroom 30 minutes before school began (luckily), just in time for me to wait another 20 minutes for him to help me with the assignment/a major quiz that is actually more so a test. He didn't even help me, rather circling the questions I did wrong on the assignment while half-explaining it in his weird I-am-not-here-right-now-and-am-instead-riding-a-motorcycle kind of way. Fantastic! So then I go to English and then to gym for some full-on embarrassment. I swear, I must just ask for it. Awful, awful, awful, awful. SRT was better, as I had my iPod and I did some major studying (although I am destined to complete the day with an F, F, F, F.) Oh, and I just found out that someone stole my ID. Really cool. Really, really cool.

School is the best thing in the world.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 00:47:22 GMT

Earlier this evening, I went to a chiropractor. Now, I am very skittish when it comes to anything that has to do with hospitals. The very moment I fell into a waiting chair, I was abrubtly caught with a manifest of coughs (this being my signature nervous manner). I then started flipped my sandal until the receptionist glared at me. I am in no way easy going when it comes doctors (a chiropractor, not even a surgeon or something so unbelievably frightening as that). I told myself to calm down about a billion times. When the chiropractor came in, I instantly started shaking, thinking "Yes!! That idea lasted a long time." She started popping things (with great talent, might I add) with the occasional "Oooooh that hurts doesn't it!" as if it wasn't even a question, just a statement not open for discussion (to this I tended to just say mmmhmmm to as the popping moved forward. After the session, I walked out of the hospital feeling so great, as though I could fly.

Next appointment is on Thursday.