my luck

ARG

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 06:02:39 GMT

my mom is stupid and canceled gossip girl to record more reruns of sex and the city. theyre censored for christssake! i want to punch things. gossip girl is my livelihood goddamit!!

im going to drink the rest of that bottle of wine. ill show her!

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:40:13 GMT

i havent taken vicoden since i fainted on austins couch. so this is an experiment.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

so. the new faint album isnt as bad as everyone said it was. i likes it.

fuck homework! i graduated so i dont care bitchess.

the skyline is swinging

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:36:15 GMT

lately ive been having very vivid dreams. and theyve been about simple things that happen in day to day life. like i was chatting on aim with laura. or i was going out with the boys. its making it hard to differentiate sleeping and waking.

i need some excitement. i feel like theres millions of things im missing out on. its a weird feeling. it leave me feeling very anxious and rushed. but for no particular reason. sometimes i wonder if ill really ever be truly content. hopefully.

but really. i want to do something today. go somewhere. its overcast and slightly chilly. its like fall is here. officially.

see, the seasons do change on some level in southern california. of course, tomorrow it could be 90 and the sun could be out. in which case im going to look like a fraud.

so many revelations today

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 07:55:46 GMT

ive got nothing. i'm irrelevant. so is my writing and most importantly my life. i want some relevance. i need some relevance. aye.

Writer's Block: Everything That's Fit to Print

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:12:08 GMT

The New York Times was first published on this day in 1851. How important is print news to you? Does the internet render circulation obsolete, or will print never die?

View other answers

The print medium is going through a pretty dark time right now but it won't ever completely vanish. It better not. Because thats what I just got my bachelors in. However every newspaper is being bought up right now by rich folks like Rupert Murdoch and the Cox sisters. This leads to papers filled with recycled stories, as well as questionably slanted news. And a lot from the AP. If you're a print writer this is really bad news. Partially because the freedom to write a story your own way has sort of been snuffed out. That and newspapers typically belong to news groups or news wires, which means they have stories coming in all day from all over the world. Then editors reprint those stories in their papers. Which means there's no need for the staff writer anymore. and because newspapers are suffering, thanks to the internet, circulation is WAY down. So its just more cost effective to subscribe to a news wire, rather than pay fifty staff writers. International reporting was the first to feel this, since its much more costly. Photojournalism is also dying out due to this, though that has more of a chance staying afloat because of the internet. Its also cheaper to hand a writer a camera-- since everything is digital now its much easier to take photos while covering a story. ho hum. I never answer these writers block things. But ya know... newspapers are my one true love.

happy berfday new york times. may you always remain prestige.

they finally posted something id do anything for on journalismjobs.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:37:34 GMT

"The Register (www.theregister.co.uk) - one of the world's largest science and technology news sites with more than 5 million unique readers a month - is seeking a full-time newshound/wordsmith for its growing San Francisco bureau. In other words, we want a reporter who can write - a Carl Bernstein, not a Bob Woodward.

At The Register, hard-charging reporters are free to define their own beat, voice their own opinion, and make people laugh - provided they get their facts right. Experience covering hardware or software a plus. Cleverness a must."

cleverness. opinions. MY OWN BEAT. making people laugh is my writing style. granted technology and science arent something i know tons about but shit its something i live in. and the whole idea of it being online means its not owned which means you write what you want. writing what i want and getting paid. hard things to find as a writer. every other job on journalismjobs is for editing positions that require 4+ years of experience as a staff writer for a paper that isnt a college rant. im scared. i have only college experience. its frustrating. all the jobs are for the experienced. but how do you become experienced without the experience?!?!?!? how? its like they want credited published writers to fall from the sky. they dont need to wish that much tho. those writers will come pouring in. they probably lost their jobs with the sf oc la etc daily paper that was bought out by rupert murdoch and co. because they signed up for the ap/iht/etc newswire, therefor making them not need actual staff writers anymore. thats my competition. an entertainment writer with 10+ years of experience. im fucked. so fucked. its really not a joke. earning your bachelors in journalism means you earned your bachelors in bartending/serving. we joked at graduation. but fuck. its true. and im finding it out now. jurnalists used to be envied... we're supposed to be the fourth branch! the watchdog! the little man looking out for his fellow little man!

if i ever happen to see rupert murdoch and co (really theyre all the same scum so we'll group them into one category) im going to shit on his face. because hes a shitface and thats what he has coming. whyd you have to buy everything? whyd you have to make it so that newswires took over and every newspaper just printed a story thats already been printed fifty times? thats not journalism! its throwing up someone elses ideas! benjamin franklin must be spinning.

and if you get the bernstein-woodward joke in that job description, i love you.

i wanna be your lover

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:22:06 GMT

my last semester of school EVER starts in a week and a half.

mw women and sociology 5-615
m drugs and health 7-945
w mental illness and society 630-915

so random. its going to be such a weird semester. i wish i was ending on some sort of journalism note. but at the same time. its going to be a damn easy semester because i just need to pass for elective purposes.

i cant wait to move up north! ahhhhh. it needs to happen now. i feel lost here. out of place.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:32:28 GMT

this morning i spilled nondairy creamer all over my phone and now the buttons crunch.

ho hum.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:38:14 GMT

the baconator. it has six pieces of bacon, two patties and 51 grams of fat in it. i'm glad im a vegetarian. because you meat eaters are fucking sick.

though maybe one of you can explain free-range veal to me. because that seems like an oxymoron.

goddamit

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 06:45:46 GMT

i think i got my identity got stolen. i have no debit card for at least a week. i have one. but they shut that one off. i dont know how im going to survive without a debit card. someone used my checking number at an enterprise rent a car. fuck that.

im scurred.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 02:32:17 GMT

nick is on vacation so im helping brian with celebslam! you wont be able tell which ones i wrote. hopefully. i tried to sound like nick as much as possible. this will be the first time that this many people will have read something i wrote. check it. http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/

warped tour was fun. good bands. and i hadnt been since i was 17. which meant that this time around i could hang out in the beer garden. heyooo.

the internal eternal struggle

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:08:22 GMT

i want the za za zoo. not the za za ew but the za za zoo and i wanna not be wrong for the millionth time. im lonely. its hitting me. gross. i refuse to settle. period.

dont ever trust a man

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:41:55 GMT

i am a drunk but at least i dont eat bears like my mom. shes got some pancake mix shit named about kodiak bears and theres a bear on the box. somehow the two are related. i think theres bears in the mix. thats seems way out of my moms healthy comfort zone, but you never know. womans crazy. she buys organic laundry detergent for christs sake.

in other food news i fucking love morning star chicken nuggets. i need to stop eating so much soy or its going to kill me.

i cant wait to move out of orange county, with its sense of entitlement. goddamn all these idiots living in a bubble with no idea that theres an entire world out there full of people and ideas and things. im really growing antsy. im like whaaaa i gotta go back to school? and only two nights a week. its a joke. sociology of women, drugs and health, and something else and i cant remember but its a sociology class. see. this is how little i care. i dont even know what the fuck im taking. just give me the goddamned diploma and let me move.

i hate my job. no, i hate several coworkers. but ive begun to voice this to their faces so we'll see how long the bullshit goes on for. if i wasnt leaving in four months id be more inclined to get their asses canned.

im driving up to sf with lisa on the 22 wooooo. my almost home. almost. cant come fast enough.

i dont ever want to get married. this may change overtime. but i really dont know if it actually will. i dont see why i even need a man. i can have my own career, adopt kids, and say hey fuck you i dont need you to men. ill write a book about men though. after i fuck them/fuck them over.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:08:07 GMT

i wish that larry david was my uncle.

ive been talking to myself a lot lately.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:52:14 GMT

is it possible for one to be crazy and be fully aware of it?

also. generation instant gratification. in all aspects of our lives? deny it all you want but if im fessing up then no one else has any balls to hold onto since i carry a soapbox in my back pocket. thank you technology for making us computer and phone savvy and giving us the opportunity to joyfully check our myspace anywhere-- laptop, phone, asshole, yet leaving us incapable of carrying on anything else remotely healthy because we're too damn impatient to fucking deal with it. just like the cellphone stuck to our heads and hands isnt causing tumors. but we need it all now. right fucking now goddamit. im so fucking tired of waiting that im moving. i gotta jumpstart that shit. and i cant fucking wait. i need it now.

i am not smooth.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 06:14:23 GMT

case and point.
cute IT guy: hey! i just moved down here!
*okay he moved downstairs at work..... the IT department moved.... which i ALREADY KNEW thanks to the mass email...back to story....
me: o yeah? whered you live before?
cute IT guy: no... i moved...from upstairs...

i remember turning red? and leaving quickly.

not a shining moment. though it is an improvement. our previous conversation was about bottled water.

and today we talked about the air condition being broken. a really rich conversation let me tell you.

and tonight i went to mothers and i KNOW clint works at a mothers which is why ive been avoiding mothers (even though they have the BEST potato tacos goddamn him..) but i needed powered wheatgrass because im tired of buying it at jamba juice everyday so i walk in and i think i see him so i hide like an idiot for a few minutes by the lettuce before i realize its not him. like a fool!

i cant watch broadcast news. its so depressing. like one awful story after another. when i read it in the times it doesnt seem as sad.

like those three boys that got kidnapped by their dads. and then the scientist who was testing anthrax by releasing it into the public. and christina applegate who i love love LOVE has breast cancer. what the fuck is going on.

though there are the hilarious moments. paris hilton made a video in response to mccains mudslinging. bahahahah its so funny. go watch it. she might be as dumb as a sack of rocks but shes got some close friends with a good sense of humor.

this past weekend i almost hit a bunny driving in the dark at five in the morning, we got shunned from a restaurant, drank beer in a lake for hourssss, got called racists by the angry server in the restaurant in which we were shunned, and stole half a bottle of jack daniels from the bar inside the restaurant where we were shunned. and i won five bucks in primm playing electronic poker. fucking lake mead.

i just saw a walmart commercial that convinced me that walmart is the spawn of satan and is now not only ruining many lives but making our children into mindless robots. walmart is the devil. they keep their working class employees at minimum wage, and dont give them full time hours so that they dont have to give them health insurance. or pay them overtime. its like population control in the most disturbing of ways because the walton family, who owns good ole walmart, takes home BILLIONS in profit each year.

okay im stepping down from my soapbox for the night. it smells like a skunk outside. so strong that i think mister skunk might be in my backyard.

and dude. lay off amanda beard. its a peta ad for christ sake THEYRE ALWAYS NAKED IN THOSE. you cant mess with peta. theyre all nuts.

though. the quote of the drunk hiker who loves large cats is funny. find the soundclip PLEASE. its so funny. hes slurring and talking about how he tried to pet the cat. christ i love television.

ive been laughing all day today. this is out of the ordinary for me. im exceptionally happy considering how sad i usually am. for no reason. im worried. dont depressed people kill themselves when theyre all happy? oi.

well well well.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:00:50 GMT

i just ran out of toilet paper. completely. i had to use a paper towel.

you can take the girl out of tillamook but you cant take the tillamook out of the girl. i have killer luck?

also. something else i was thinking about. this dating shit is still the same as it was when i was 16. in some weird twisted similar way. i shall elaborate at a later time. but not for a few days probably because im going to lake mead this weekend to be a honkey ass bitch.

that one was for you wifey<3

i have a crush. aye.

weaksauce.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 01:37:02 GMT

i want a bigger earthquake. one that requires my boss to send me home early.

so if you dont live in southern california then you might not know. though you probably do since it was BREAKING NEWS. but we had a 5.8 or 5.6 or something like that today. it was big. but really. it could have been bigger.

i really felt it at work though. im upstairs in an old building and it was shaking hard.

i was eating a sandwich when it hit. and i got tomato all over myself. my pretty dress was ruined.

the thing about earthquakes, as opposed to most other natural disasters, is that there is absolutely no way to predict them. they just fucking hit. i think thats why everyone flips the fuck out when they do. that and they're followed by more tiny, unpredictable quakes. and theres that whole tsunami thing.

great job earth, but lets make it a 7.0 next time at least!

new and improved?

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:45:57 GMT

im going to start surfing again. just to meet guys. tomorrow after work my brother and i are going down to the beach so he can help me remember how to not die on a surfboard.

its like riding a bike right? you never forget?

PATHETIC.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:34:21 GMT

my mom wants me to join match.com.

correction...

my mom wants to PAY for me to join match.com.

wait... correction again...

my mom thinks im a loser.

observations

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:10:17 GMT

us open means huntington beach is FILLED with tourists.

my mom totally wishes it was my brother moving away soon and not me. bahaha. troy is the worthless one.

i have not been on a date since it was 2007. that is so embarrassing slash depressing. its almost august. christ. before the summer started i remember thinking "this is gona be a good summer for me." and now that its august im looking back on 45-50 hour work weeks and lots of hiding in my room being bitter and lonely. im bored with everything. i cant wait to leave orange county.

today

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:17:36 GMT

i want to put on a dress and lots of makeup and heels and go somewhere neat.

gofuckyourself.

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:42:53 GMT

o and im not seeing the xfiles movie tonight. which also fucking sucks.

nicotine withdrawls

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:41:33 GMT

are really unpleasant.

let this be a lesson to all of you. dont ever start smoking.

im so cranky and lonely and angry and i want to punch someone/something in the fucking gut.

and everyone keeps blaming me for getting them sick. like i somehow was the only sick person in the fucking world. and i went around coughing on everyone. that makes complete sense. fucking idiots.

AND today i took MY lunch break and went to pick up food for my whole department because we always work through lunch on thursdays. and i got back to work. and guess what. theyd remembered everyones food. but mine. that i paid for. more fucking idiots! that stupid blonde twit that works there was staring at shiny objects and i had to snap my fingers in front of her face to get her to realize that i was standing there waiting to hand her my credit card. remember me hun? you just told me my total two seconds ago? so i worked ten hours today without eating or smoking. that was a good plan. really.

things that i will probably never do again:

ashley.marie.weis@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:53:28 GMT

go on a date with a man.
go to the fair.
prom.
smoke a cigarette (hopefully but really lets be honest thats probably something i will definitely do again)
be a published reporter (bahaha this is an inside joke wit myself/people who get this which is really nobody who reads this)

its like im in this hole. and im digging around trying to get out but the more i dig the bigger the hole gets and the more alone i become. and once every three to five months a guy walks by and takes a big fat dump on me. and occasionally my mom walks by and points out some flaw that im already not only aware of but pointing out to myself daily.