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perpetual state of indecision

17th. Dec. 2009 | 12:32 am

Sometimes I forget to blink, making sure my eyes end up tired and dry. This happens when I'm reading, when I'm sitting infront of a computer screen, when I'm straining not to miss a second of the action. I need to remember to blink. To take a second, return to my meagre self and evaluate.

Why is it, at 22 I feel like I need to have done it all? There's no time to catch a breath. I work as hard as I can, I try to grab as many opportunities as possible, I take risks and I use my relative youth has a shield against all the bad things that could happen. Death, sickness, irrevocable loss.. These things don't seem real to me.

What should I do? Keep living like I'm fairly bulletproof until my parents lock me into a domestic life?

Don't get me wrong, I am not a dare devil by any means. Relative to the safe individual I am in most other sectors of life, in this one area I am reckless and driven by instinct.



I did quite well at uni this semester. Three distinctions and one pass. I could have hitched two subjects up a notch but I forfeited all my attendance marks. I suppose I know better for next time, though I don't know if I am willing to lose the sleep. Sleep is just so.. wonderful. It's such a calm and peaceful state for me, despite odd dreams that make me question my sanity and self at times. When I'm asleep I can stop thinking.

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ah, life. oh life, oh life.

21st. Oct. 2008 | 08:01 pm

stop acting like a three year old and I'll stop talking to you like one.

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the holga failure

19th. Oct. 2008 | 02:39 pm

I got a holga a while ago, and haven't touched it much since. Recently V got me inspired again, but after my frist reel I'm discouraged again.

Also, my negs look hilarious. Huge gaps because I didn't know how far to wind, and my 135mm adapter made all my sexy sprocket holes phail. :(((


Well, I gave it a shot, off to ebay it goes!

Here're the successful-ish ones.


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Oh I got my second bottle of Alpine Snow by OPI. White nails ftw! It will wear better in summer than in winter, though I did it regardless.

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canteen food and perfume.

18th. Oct. 2008 | 11:01 am

So I'm sitting here eating a pizza pocket from my bygone days of highschool (not actually from those days. imagine what kind of food would last three days in my backpack) because there's no food that I know how to cook in the fridge. Ever since my mum and brother moved back, it's all crazy chinese condiments and ingredients that don't make any sense to me. Where is my pasta sauce! Where are my mushrooms?? POTATOES COME BACK TO ME

Anyway a sample of the new Chanel N. 5 dropped out of the vogue issue that's half damp from slamming it on the toilet washroom bench. Yes gross, but I paid 8$ for that mfer on my nonexistant income and I'm going to finish reading it. Back to the fragrance. It's delicious. I love the new bottle, and the scent. Used to be that No. 5 was too womanly, matrony? for me, but this one has the sophistication sprinkled in with more fun. I LOVED Issey, but god damnit that perfume didn't last on me. I have an unused limited edition box with a roller or whatever, that I never used either if anyone's interested. I SelL U 4 CHeEP.



Look isn't it gorgeous? This is what I'm getting when my Anna Sui Secret Wish coughs out it's last floral-girly-fairy spritz.

PS I'm getting a cold. Retarded global warming weather.

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OHMYGODIHAVENTDONEANYTHINGANDIT'SCOLD

10th. Jul. 2008 | 12:28 am

Also I am obviously getting too clingy.

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