I fucked up; I wasn't using my head and I screwed up something I can't take back or change, so ultimately I have to live and deal with it.
I hate myself for it.
A friend of mine who volunteers for BCSPCA showed me a video of some of the animals that are brought to the shelter. It broke my heart.
I hate my job, both of them. I need to get away, but the only "GETTING AWAY" i'm able to do is a four day trip to Calgary for the Stampede, and that's not until fucking JULY!!