ストリートパンク・タラ

anata ni totte watashi mo sou de aritai--

2006-11-26T08:34:39Z

流れる季節の真ん中で
ふと日の長さを感じます
せわしく過ぎる日々の中に
私とあなたで夢を描く

３月の風に想いをのせて
桜のつぼみは春へとつづきます

溢れ出す光の粒が　　
少しずつ朝を暖めます
大きなあくびをした後に
少し照れてるあなたの横で

新たな世界の入り口に立ち
気づいたのは１人じゃないってこと

瞳を閉じればあなたが
まぶたのうらにいることで
どれほど強くなれたでしょう
あなたにとって私もそうでありたい

砂ぼこり運ぶつむじ風
洗濯物に絡まりますが
昼前の空の白い月は
なんだかきれいで見とれました

上手くはいかぬこともあるけれど
天を仰げばそれさえ小さくて

青い空は凛と澄んで
羊雲は静かに揺れる
花咲くを待つ喜びを
分かち合えるのであればそれは幸せ

この先も隣でそっと微笑んで

瞳を閉じればあなたが
まぶたのうらにいることで
どれほど強くなれたでしょう
あなたにとって私もそうでありたい

amagasa_ @ 2006-11-03T22:34:00

2006-11-03T12:36:59Z

Volunteers to sit a contract law exam at 5.45 tomorrow evening? I am far too afraid...!!

amagasa_ @ 2006-11-01T23:04:00

2006-11-01T13:07:00Z

I miss Jonny!!! Sometimes I am terribly afraid of the fallibility of the human memory--this is not meant to be some solemn declaration, but I honestly can't bear the way all things I find dear eventually corrode & give away.

amagasa_ @ 2006-10-06T11:07:00

2006-10-06T01:10:33Z

Random, but: I so adore Mika Nakashima.

tara watches too much hana yori dango.

2006-10-04T13:40:10Z

AHAHA, how I love Matsumoto Jun, you have no idea. Doumyouji cracks me up ridiculously, he is so stupidly adorable and conceited, I adore it. 'Resson panda' nante omoshirosugi!!

it's mad she had to go so far--

2006-09-29T14:18:40Z

I need to recapture some of that awkward, ridiculous sincerity I used to clutch in spades, because without it I am in desperate danger of shipwreck, no rescue in sight. Becoming a real phoney -- like Holly! -- is something I can swallow, brimming with ludicrous intensity is one thing I can manage, but it's the thought of losing myself into a vacuous stupour I cannot quite resign to. I need to live properly again, firm and bright, however afraid of falling short and of stumbling into ridicule I might be. I want nothing short of headlong passion: I want nothing more than to turn off the television set and to rip out the headphones. i want heart.

amagasa_ @ 2006-09-25T22:45:00

2006-09-25T12:47:37Z

I <3 my MacBook! We have been through many tribulations in our two short weeks together, but I feel they have made us stronger.

amagasa_ @ 2006-06-08T16:39:00

2006-06-08T06:43:57Z

法学なんかもうどうでもいいわょ！

amagasa_ @ 2006-05-18T20:09:00

2006-05-18T10:25:16Z

プラネタリウム//大塚愛
夕月夜　顔だす　消えてく　子供の声
遠く遠く　この空のどこかに　君はいるんだろう
夏の終わりに2人で抜け出した　この公園で見つけた
あの星座　何だか　覚えてる?
会えなくても　記憶をたどって　同じ幸せを見たいんだ
あの香りとともに　花火がぱっと開く
行きたいよ　君のところへ　今すぐ　かけだして　行きたいよ
まっ暗で何も　見えない　怖くても大丈夫
数えきれない星空が　今もずっと　ここにあるんだよ
泣かないよ　昔　君と見た　きれいな空だったから

あの道まで　響く　靴の音が耳に残る
大きな　自分の影を　見つめて　想うのでしょう
ちっとも　変わらないはずなのに　せつない気持ちふくらんでく
どんなに想ったって　君は　もういない
行きたいよ　君のそばに　小さくても小さくても
1番に　君が好きだよ　強くいられる
願いを　流れ星に　そっと　唱えてみたけれど
泣かないよ　届くだろう　きれいな空に

会えなくても　記憶をたどって　同じ幸せを見たいんだ
あの香りとともに　花火がぱっと開く
行きたいよ　君のところへ　小さな手をにぎりしめて
泣きたいよ　それはそれは　きれいなそらだった
願いを　流れ星に　そっと唱えてみたけれど
泣きたいよ　届かない想いを　この空に...。

--I suppose one of these days I have to cease drifting along, clinging to memory like so much driftwood, but it is proving somewhat sticky, this business of cleaving my old self from the present & closing up the past. でもねぇ、この歌を聴くと懐かしさが強くて切なく胸に染みてくるの．．．。

amagasa_ @ 2006-04-19T23:31:00

2006-04-19T13:47:55Z

I am uncertain as to what to do with this chunk of life I've been handed with to a degree that is, er, sort of stupid. I keep running through any & all options in a frantic, fretful fashion: I've landed on law (dry! divorced from reality! bereft of light, heat, human force) for the time being, but there's writing (what does that even MEAN?), teaching, a horde of loose ideas, & of late I am even contemplating medicine with a decent measure of gravity. I don't know. All I understand is that I want something meaningful, & I know my little life isn't quite as grand as all that in the vast scheme of things, but it's mine, & I want to pour it out wisely.

midori, from norwegian wood//haruki murakami.

2006-02-05T05:19:31Z

「一日中家の中にいて電話を待ってなきゃいけないなんて本当に嫌よね。一人きりでいるとね、体が少しずつ腐っていくような気がするのよ。だんだん腐って溶けて最後には緑色のとろっとした液体だけになってね、地底に吸いこまれていくの。そしてあとには服だけが残るの。そんな気がするわね、一日じっと待ってると。」

"I hate waiting at home all day for a call. When I spend the day alone, I feel as if my flesh is rotting little by little--rotting and melting untill there's nothing left but a green puddle that gets sucked down into the earth. And all the stays behind are my clothes. That's how it feels to me, waiting indoors all day."

MEME.

2006-01-27T10:24:52Z

1. First name? tara.
2. Were you named after anyone? yeah, my middle name belonged to my mother's little sister, who died when she was a baby.
3. Do you wish on stars? occasionally.
4. When did you last cry? maybe on the plane back from japan?
5. Do you like your handwriting? mostly.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? tofu?
7. What is your birthday? 10/10 october.
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? the spice girls...
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? who knows.
10. Do you have a journal? yes.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? not that much.
12. Would you bungee jump? probably not. am a wimp.
13. What is your favorite cereal? muesli. special k.
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? i don't wear shoes with laces much.
15. Do you think that you are strong? HAHA.
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? green tea!!
17. Shoe Size? australian 8.
18. Red or pink? pink.
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? er,
20. Who do you miss the most? yuka!! & the rest of my host family.
21. <----has no bearing on LJ. Er, okay.
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? am wearing a little denim skirt with socks that have bunnies on them.
23. Last thing you ate? green tea chocolate.
24. What are you listening to right now? chijou no hoshi//nakajima miyuki.
25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? forest green or purple.
26. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? hm, my mum?
27. Your best feature? don't know!
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? clothes & hair. <-shallow.
29. <-----another question that has no bearing on LJ. What are these disappearing questions, I wonder?
30. Favorite Drink? tea!!
31. Favorite Sport? hmm.
32. What is the color of your hair? golden brown.
33. Favorite cuss word? don't swear, really.
34. Do you wear contacts? yes.
35. Favorite Food? japanese!! (ToT) & vegetables in general.
36. Last Movie You Watched? a series of unfortunate events. munich, at the cinema on wednesday.
37. Favorite Day Of The Year? christmas!!
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? happy endings.
39. Summer or winter? SUMMER.
40. Hugs or Kisses? both!
41. Favorite Dessert? green tea soft cream. or apple crumble.
42. & 43. <----don't really apply on LJ. WHATEVER I DON'T CARE.
44. What books are you reading? noruwei no mori//haruki murakami. in nihongo!! (^v^)b
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? don't have one.
46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? hmm. don't know if i watched tv.
47. Favorite Smells? caramel popcorn, books.
48. Favorite Sounds? mm, music.
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles.
50. What do you do for relaxation? GO TO KARAOKE.
51. If you had it to do all over again, would you? sure.
52. Who is your most favorite person in the whole world? YAMAPI. --> no, really. i have a whole handful.
53. Have you contributed anything to the human race? not in particular...
54. Are your parents still living? yes.
55. Do you work and if you do, what kind of job? no.

taisetsu na omoide sae wasureteikisou desu

2006-01-22T10:47:51Z

I miss Japan SO MUCH.
I want to go home...

いつも口からでまかせばっかり喋ってる
イエス、ノー
どちらでもないこともあるでしょう
いつだって世界はわたしを楽しくさせて
いつか動かなくなる時まで遊んでねしゃくしゃく余裕で暮らしたい
約束だって守りたい
誰かを愛すことなんて
本当はとても簡単だ

ずいぶん遠くまで流れ流れてせつないんです
大切な思い出さえ忘れていきそうです

※確かな君に会いたい
百年先も傍にいたい
どんなに離れ離れでも
ふたりをつなぐ呪文はJ・O・Y※

樫の木が揺れる日は、
すぐに思い出してね。私を。

いつも口からでまかせばっかり喋ってる
運命は必然じゃなく偶然で出来てる
いつまでたってもわかんない
約束だって破りたい
誰かを愛すことなんて
時々とても困難だ

△死ぬまでドキドキしたいわ
死ぬまでワクワクしたいわ△

amagasa_ @ 2006-01-07T22:54:00

2006-01-07T13:58:18Z

SEVEN MORE DAYS IN JAPAN.

--What should I do with them? I`m starting to feel unnerved by the rush of time & I`m turning into a dripping mess of ready tears already; I don`t want to go! I can`t figure out where 2005 trickled away to. :\

amagasa_ @ 2006-01-01T22:48:00

2006-01-01T13:59:49Z

Time bolts by far too quickly & I am unwilling to grab onto its reigns for fear of finding myself even further from the context I used to swim in so easily--which is where I am when I say that I am in a frightful fit of nerves about returning to Australia in less that two weeks(!). I find it hard to imagine life before Japan, before my brain was a confused jumble of languages, before I was the girl that I`ve become. My heart starts up with spluttering little flip flops when I think about leaving this country, & the entirety of the existence I lived before this exchange seems unimagineably foreign. I`m not sure if these are normal feelings or not, but here they are.

it`s snowing!!

2005-12-22T01:46:26Z

I woke up to my first snow storm ever this morning! It`s probably not so much a storm as a flurry, but it LOOKS tremendous as far as I`m concerned. The closing ceremony was cancelled, but I may still have to venture out into the cold for school sponsored trip to Kourakuen Garden later on.

♥

On another note, I leave Japan in roughly three weeks: it is madness! I swear that I`m experiencing far more nervous shudders about departure than I ever did before arrival--I just can`t seem to imagine a world without karaoke and Yamapi and sailor uniforms and, well, all kinds of things, like being accosted by elderly men and younger ones after my photograph (have discovered what it is to be a celebrity!). I`m going to miss this silly country a ridiculous amount.

amagasa_ @ 2005-11-14T14:42:00

2005-11-14T05:44:59Z

ラブラブじゃない？！

kyaaaaaaaaaaa. yamapi (boy on right)　⇒ love of my (deeply intellectual) young life. ☆

amagasa_ @ 2005-10-27T14:00:00

2005-10-27T04:57:00Z

10 Firsts:
First Best Friend: a girl called bonnie.
First Screen Name: i don`t remember! i imagine it was something embarrassing.
First Piercing: ears, eight years old.
First Crush: a little boy called tom. it was preschool.
First Music:
First Car: a silver car i shared with my mum.
First love:
First stuffed animal: a miss piggy.
First Time Being Drunk: um, when i was fourteen or so?
First Job: receptionist.

9 Lasts:
Last Cigarette: several years ago.
Last Alchoholic beverage: um, some grapefruit sake soda water concoction?
Last Car Ride: yesterday, i went shopping my my host mum and then had omelette rice curry. --> shiawase datta.
Last Movie Seen in theatres: nana!! <3.
Last Phone Call: my mum, the other night.
Last Kiss: MONTHS AGO. am dying. please someone snog me please.
Last CD Played: anou, this yuzu yasu gave me.
Last bubble bath: i don`t know, i get in the ofuro every night and went on an onsen (hot springs) ryokou last weekend, but no bubbles...
Last time you cried: don`t remember! maybe when i lost my wallet...

8 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Been Outside The Country: mm, i live in japan!!
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: yes.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no! unless japanese communal bathing counts, in which case, last weekend.
Have You Ever Been on TV: yes!! here in okayama.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone and Then Regretted It: haha, YES.
Have You Ever had a Suggestive Dream About Someone You Knew: again, haha.
Have you ever cheated: kind of.

6 Things You've Done Today:
1. got up at an ungodly hour, made bento, wrestled with hair, rode to school.
2. slumbered through kokugo (japanese lit).
3. displayed own purikura proudly.
4. jabbered on about boys in unhealthy fashion.
5. ate aforementioned bento.
6. was generally uninteresting.

5 Things you ate today:
1. vegemite & parmesan toast.
2. three mikan.
3. rice with mountain vegetables.
4. sweet potato chips.
5. bento-ish food: okara, atsuage, spinach stuff, kinpira renkon.

4 People You Can Tell [ALMOST] Anything to:
1. host sisters.
2. mum.
3. hm.
4. hm.

3 Choices:
1. Black or White: white.
2. Hot or Cold: HOT.
3. Sun or Rain: sun!!

2 Things You Want to Do Before you die:
1. travel more.
2. fall in love properly again.

1 Thing you regret:
1. i don`t really have any regrets; except maybe a tendency to be stupidly depressed when I was younger.

amagasa_ @ 2005-10-11T09:51:00

2005-10-11T00:47:30Z

i love japan. i do not want to leave. someone`s going to have to drag me onto that plane, i swear. let us not try to imagine tara three months from now, if she is already getting teary at the thought of departure gates and different time zones.

i can actually speak and understand japanese. it is absolutely the greatest thing ever、though my grip on the english language IS NOT. i am definitely coming back during uni if i can manage it, although offering the idea up to my mum (who says the next three months are going to stretch on for far too long) might not be the greatest.

stolen property--

2005-08-18T06:59:27Z

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick an alcoholic drink that we should get sloshed together with.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

amagasa_ @ 2005-06-16T09:48:00

2005-06-16T00:45:01Z

and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make--

I`m learning how to understand mathematics properly, how to count chambers and ventricles, and that's the sum of it.

amagasa_ @ 2005-05-21T20:04:00

2005-05-21T11:05:28Z

The best feeling I`ve encountered thus far has been stepping out of the door and realising--abruptly, suddenly, though it has been some time brewing--that at some imperceptible point along the line, I have doubled, melded, become utterly at home. I can`t quite grasp the fact of the last eight weeks, try as I might: they have flown through me and around me at such a ridiculous tempo that it`s impossible to take stock properly. Two months! How absurd. It is slightly surreal and yet fairly fabulous to have begun having conversations in Japanese which feel so natural that later I`m not quite sure that I haven`t been speaking English after all. Sometimes Japan and I have our quarrels (oh, you have no idea), but it`s not difficult to make up, and (this is Japan`s power) I am generally left feeling the guiltier one. It`s great. Unfortunately, this week I`ve had some less cheerful news, which I`ll get to a little later.

amagasa_ @ 2005-04-02T20:04:00

2005-04-02T11:05:41Z

I:m in Japan and cannot find the apostrophe key, but all the same, it is fabulous. I start school at the end of next week. More later.

xoxo

rainer maria rilke--

2005-02-16T14:11:40Z

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows.
Let everything happen to you:
beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is
final.