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[16 Jun 2006|11:59am] |
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theres so much going on i cant wait to get out of here.. graduation is on monday n im so excited cuz that means i can leave.. n im gettin outta here as fast as i can.. me n my mom fight like crazy n my dad always has to take her side cuz thats just what parents do even tho he tells me im right and im sick of it im fucking 18 years old why do u try n ground me when im an adult.. im so depressed lately too i hate myself i hate you and thats it ... gooodbyee.
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[09 Jun 2006|03:01am] |
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soo yea today was my last real day of highschool .. im so happy but at the same time im soo sad it didnt really hit me until lunch n the tears just wouldnt stop.. but next week is finalss .. boo then graduation!! where did my life gooooooo
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[03 Jun 2006|03:21am] |
i have been coming to the realization of things that i dont want to happen.. i guess i gotta go by the saying that if its meant to be then it will happen.. i tell my friends that who are goen thru something similiar to my situtaion but i never thought of it myself . iuno it sucks.. theres so much goen on with the end of my school career approachen n fighten with the parents n then me gettin ready to move a day or two after graduation.. ive been sayen that i want to move on with my life and now that its gettin closer i couldnt be nemore excited.. i put my 2 weeks in at pizza hut and i cant wait to jus be away from my family for a whileee...
graduationnnn comeeeee sooooonerrrr
im excited but im also kindaaa sad.. kaybye
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[13 May 2006|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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i feel really betrayed right now.
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| been thinkin |
[06 May 2006|06:34am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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i see what others have n i realize
how much i miss you
i miss always being happy with a grin on my face from ear to ear
i miss haven butterflies everyday cuz i got to see you
i miss fallen alseep in your arms
and waking up in them too
i miss you all together
i hate your work n i hope it blows up so we can hang out k!
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[06 May 2006|06:00am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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i havent been on this thing in a longgg time. .. im jus updaten cuz i got alot on my mind.. as of right now i am in a relationship and i am in love.. buts its not goen as good as i thought.. i hate the fact that he works so much n we dont really get to talk.. i hate how the union can send people whereever they want for weeks at a time.. its been goen on for the whole 2 years we been friends so whats new.. schools almost over and i couldnt be more excited i have next year all ready and im so happy.. its truly something that i want to do with my life when i grow up.. i was so confused with what i was going to do with my life.. i was looken to take a year off but im so so so glad that im not goen too.. soo excited!!! im 18 now! nothing really changed i can get my ear pierced by myself haha which i already did .. uhm but the drama with the friends never stops.. i really grew up last weekend .. realizen how i have been letten all the drama drop n its been a good decision i wish it would just stop im ready to be done with school n start my career.. i wana move into an apartment so i can be independent but thats not guna happen for a while i dont think .. i wana get married and have kids.. its weird how much i been wanten to have kids lately .. no its not guna happen netime soon but i wish it would.. i would be dead if it happened. its ok ill jus take care of other peoples kids =) haha so im still worken at pizza hut n it blows i cant wait to get out of there .. im there like 6 nights outta the week.. no time for mee hello.. i duno.. im so excited to be done with school but at the same tiem im not cuz i love my friends i duno where everyone is goen exactly but i hope they dont leave.. me stina n ash r guna be in the same school next year which is funn.. i started becomen friends with more people lately n i like the variety.. i duno what im really sayen.. i never sleep nemore n everything just seems to b e goen wrong.. im kinda depressed lately n the physco told me to take care of myself.. she told me all this freaky stuff that was tru ... i love them ladys.. me n meg went to the shore last nite n i cant wait for summer.. about a month leftt cool. i need to save money n help pay for a car ASAP but i dont make enough money to save GAY okkkkkkkk i duno what else to say right now that was jus my lil 'update'
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[08 Dec 2005|09:38pm] |
could it take nelonger to get to saturrrday ?!
finally just letting goo
it ll be fun
x0daniibabii0x: i wish tomrrow was saturday night
x0daniibabii0x: its like christmas is comen were so excited
haha yea
life is gay
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[26 Nov 2005|02:58pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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thanksgiven was alright but with my family of course its guna be fun i love them so much n i miss my poppy so much whenever im there it just feels like hes not home or just in a different room i duno i guess it jus wont hit me for like a long time.. iuno.. umm i was driven the other day n i passed where mike mariano died.. its like.. in the middle of no where but if neone who was friends with him n wants to go ill take you .. um i got mad money but nothing to do with it.. I NEED A CARRRR SOOOOO I GOTTA KEEP SAVEN UP MY MONEY! ill never get enough lol .. yea ok so i made some cool ass friends from philly n i was there last nite til like 4 it was fun .. philly boys are so diff from jersey boys its weird n i guess the ppl are too iuno i love it i wana move thereee okayyyyyy byeeeeeee pointlessss entryyyy!
♥
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| cuz all i need is you why dont u stay with me |
[09 Nov 2005|12:39am] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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SO WOW livejournal.. havent updated in a long time.. ive been readen others ppls entrys i jus never felt like i wanted to write.. theres jus been TOO much on my mind.. i work about 5-6 nights a week its really beat n tires me out so much .. theres been so much goen on with my family n friends n crap i jus been feelin like the most unlucky girl in the world.. i mean yes i kno theres so many people that have it worse then me.. but theres nothing i can do for them and theres nothing i can do for myself.. i jus hate wen ppl say that to me .. well u kno theres people that have more important problems .. well ye i kno that but its not like ive been dealing with stupid shit its been death related problems and im jus really depressed.. i lost onea my good friends.. not to death but to i duno what.. yea this did happen a few months ago but iuno today its jus been on my mind.. i felt like 2 years of my life were wasted for the most part.. we would talk bout nething n erything for hours on the phone n jus one day it all ended.. i heard bout some stupid news from his wonderful girlfriend that i hate so much so after that i was kinda like ok.. iuno i was sad but i didnt care but then i really did .. well 2day i was cleanin n i was exctied to go out n its 8:45 i call my mom to see where she was .. come to find out she was stayen in deleware so i got in a really gay mood cuz i didnt have a car to drive so i decided to stay home.. n i jus came online n then.. he came on n it was really awkard but i still felt the same way wehn he got on.. the butterflys in the stomach n i got so weak .. we talked but not a lot it was jus weird i duno i kinda wish i went out.. but whatever.. i miss my grandpop so much i always think about him n i jus wish everything that happened was a horrible nightmare but im realizen that its not .. i dont want to realize it ever i dont think.. why is it that i been losen important people to me.. theres this girl that i met last year when she moved to twp. she was in my homeroom n gym n her locker was a few down from me so we always talked n got really close n then we started chillen n in the summer we were always together n it was fun .. n we went down the shore one weekend n things were ok after that n then school started n we didnt talk as much n i talked to this girl who was also her friend about how i missed that we all chilled n i was wonderin if something was wrong.. so of course we live in twp so she hadda open her mouth n the other girl hated me.. why? i dont really know but then we talked again kinda n then it happened again n she wanted to flip out on me cuz i said that imissed chillen wit her so she stoopped talken to me so she wouldnt flip i duno. but yea we dont really ever talk nemore n it sucks n i wanted to call her so bad 2nite to tell her what happened n wen i was thinkin bout callen her our song came on.. but i didnt even waste my time so now im jus sittin here like depressed and i duno.. im kinda doen good in school for once .. at least i think iduno i miss all my friends who jus disappear because of boyfriends and girlfriends i really hate it i have atleast 3 of those friends n it sucks.. I DUNO! oksbndkfbg foleys leaven for the army in like 10 days.. n he jus told us n it sucks.. but i mean the friends i have i love them to death i work alot n im cool with some ppl in work but everyone else i jus hate.. i havent seen my cousin in forever and it really makes me sad i jus iduno i dont want to make up excuses as to why i dont see them i just work all the time n besides that i duno n when i dont work i dont do anything cuz im always tired .. senior year is jus flyin by n i had a dream about graduation .. i mean im not going on senior trip n im not doen powderpuff jus cuz i duno .. ill prolly regret it later on but for now i jus duno.. we got some awesome trip planned for the week of senior trip so hopefully thatll happen.. yea i duno i jus hadda blabber about things.. OH YEA newsflash im lonely.. ha! i have my frinds yes n sometimes they are all i need but theres jus them times when everything hits me n im jus blah n when that happens it sucks but i jus learn to get over it n live my life .... ok yea thats all i guess for now.. it felt kinda good to jus get shit outta my chest ..
bye.
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[30 Sep 2005|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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im prtty proud of the way im handlen this situation .. i thought it would so much harder then it is to deal with it.. i guess b/c i knew how much pain he was in all the time that i realize he really is in a better place but he still needs to be here with us lol .. i miss him alot n its so weird goen to my grandparents house n not seein him but i kno that hes always here with mee <33 other shits been on my mind but its jus gettin pushed to the side .. i love him so much n miss him like you wouldnt believe .. i dunno if its actaully really hit me yet.. well see
rip poppy <33 love u & misss u
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| unbelieveable |
[25 Sep 2005|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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this all happened so quickly .. my god ♥
rest in peace poppy <3
september 25 , 2005
u mean so much to me
i love you so so much
i kno ur in a better place tho
make sure u watch out
for us <3 were thinkin
bout you .. constantly
.. <3 ur lysey
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| blah death blowss .. =( |
[20 Sep 2005|08:25am] |
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mood |
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ive been thinkin alot lately.. im so sad but i didnt know him.. its jus i duno i somewhat know what his friends are going thru and i wish there was someway to take the pain away .. death is a scarey thing n im so afraid of it..im afraid of losing the ones i love..
nicole n deanna.. ill always be here for you girls you kno that
n everyone else.. same to you
ive been close to cryin a few times jus cuz i duno i feel so bad n this is so tradgic that i wish it never happened .. from what i hear from everyone is that he was caring out going everything.. sounds like another version of ian.. i dont understand why the kids who are the nicest n everything have to go soo soon.. its such ashame how theyve touched everyones lives nd they have to go.. idkk .. all i kno is that death sucks so bad .. everythings guna be ok tho
♥
rest in peace
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[07 Sep 2005|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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SCH00L T0M0RR0W?!
N0PE
LiCENSE T0M0RR0W ?!
YEuP
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[25 Aug 2005|10:27am] |
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mood |
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hm SO!@ the shore was awesome it coulda been so much more fun if somethings didnt happen.. n we wouldnt of gotten in trouble if these things didnt happen but whatever.. some good stuff happened for me personallyy =) but nothing has been happenen really cept i been worken alot n my dad doesnt really like me nemore i duno why. um i got my sr pictures taken yesterday.. ehh they were ok but im not ready to start school n grow up .. i get my license in 14 days tho! thats something to be excited for .. hmm i been in an awesome mood lately its nice to be that way.. n yeaa hess baccc ♥ yesterday was something much needed.. gotta see all the boys i havent seen in foreverrr.. keith came around n god i havent seen him since around january hahaha mann .. i love my friendsss
YEA i dunno i gotta go do stuff before i got work todayy kayyyybyyyyyee
asdjkgndkjgnd
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[16 Aug 2005|03:46am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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its nice to kno how much my friends like me sometimes
the past few days have been rough.
bummer
i leave for the shore on thursday im so excited to get away from twp
my biffle leaves on wednesday for two whole fucking weeks.
omg what am i guna doo..
helllllo i work at pizza hut and make no money what so ever
license where are youuuuu!!@
blahblahblah
boys suck
moms suck
grrr
i love michelle branch shes awesome lol
oh well
bye.
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| baby im curious i wonder if i can make u mine |
[07 Aug 2005|10:20am] |
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mood |
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theres this boy i seriously can not get over
n those drunken phone calls at 1:30 then again at 2:30 in the morning dont help either
hahhah
wow shore with samantha n erica in 11 days .. whos so excited?! MEEE!!!!! :)
byeee i got work.. booo
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[25 Jul 2005|01:51am] |
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mood |
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i jus got home from miami today
ahhh im in love with that place ♥
so so so tan
n omg its so what i needed
i went there with out sleeping
for over 72 hours
n had the time of my lifeeee
ahhh
rodeo on saturdayyy
carolyns bday!!
brads coming to jersey on tuesday!
im glad him & carolyn are together
too cute
ok
im in a good mood
even tho i got dicked today
but everythigns ok i guess
i got to see my sammmy!
we got a hotel room down the shore in a few weeks
vacation number 2
with the girls
WHOS EXCITED
i drank at wet willies on miami beach
*like in the ludacris song :: pimpin all over the world*
nice
i told my mom i drank when i went out but i dont get drunk
and she was kinda ok with it
but she didnt like the fact
but her friend was on my side
so she bought me a drink
holy crap.
um i misss you so much ..
yeap bye gotta get to sleep
i been on 3 flights today
one with 19 seats
omg
but yea i got work tomorrow
im tired
good night all
iloveyou
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[10 Jul 2005|12:50pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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me & my best friend almost died last nite
it was the scariest thing
omg.
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[06 Jul 2005|10:29am] |
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mood |
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relaxed |
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the past few days have been good ..
works crazy .. but fun
i like worken with the fun managers
we fool around all day.
on the 4th we all sat outside n watched the fireworks that were goen off at the highschool
they were the best theyve ever been
&& we listened to sting / techno .haha
been to the shore the past few days
awesomeawesomeawesome
went fishen yesterday && got sunburned
ITS OFFICALLY SUMMER
iloverandomcallsfrompeoplewhoyoudontthinkcare
... we talked for hours last night ♥.
i so miss my friends..
danielle&&amy dont come home for a long time =(
i miss christina even tho shes right around the corner
but shes too good to hang out with me..
who woulda figured oh well
keep pretenden that danielle gets on your nerves
iknowhatyousaytoher
n complain to me how much people get on your nerves
n then go hang out with all of them
ya kno a phone works both ways
but i gave up on that one
i guess i dont miss her that much
uhmmm erica comes home soon
we talked everything over
im still upset i missed the viewing
but its ok cuz i love erica
i miss my cousins.. alot
i wish i didnt work so much n could go down the shore with them
i dunno if id be allowed tho.
uhm mom got a new job . holla
shes gettin a new car
n we might be goen on vacation
to
an
islanddd
IHOPEIHOPEIHOPEE
yea i guess thats all
im guna go enjoy my 2nd day off
haha
bye ♥
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[01 Jul 2005|06:34pm] |
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yea i love how people dick me over n shit all the time n then they block my sn as if i wanna talk to them ..
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aim4my_heart_
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