all based on graphic novels/comics

+15: Watchmen (Rorschach) (comic spoilers)
+10: Iron Man
+2: The Dark Knight (Joker)



come on over

New monkey at the green apron fabric store.


This is the third day of our "soft" opening week. Our credit card machine hates us with an unjust passion, because it will not do credit cards without us having to call on each and every transaction to get an authorization number.

Ma'am. I am explaining to you why your card isn't working here. Our machines hate us and decided to GO HA HA HA HA YOUR OPENING WEEK WILL NOT GO OFF WITHOUT PROBLEMS. Ma'am. Yes I typed it in 3 times.
NO IT DIDN'T GO THROUGH 3 TIMES. I promise you, it didn't. No receipt came out, it didn't charge your card 3 times. I PROMISE. I DO. I even showed you each step that it was telling me. First time, you swiped your card without listening to me. Second time was my required me typing it in to see if it would go through. Third time was just because it wanted an authorization number.

Please believe me and sign your ONE credit card slip. Those 25 people would appreciate it...and so would I.

Just to make matters worse... you bought 75 glittery Christmas items. Indeed, this does not suck on your part. You will have to vacuum insane amounts of time after the holidays. It just sucked for me because I WAS INHALING GLITTER FOR AN HOUR AFTERWARDS. It at least seemed like it.


American Express? I HATE YOUR PHONE LINE. I SAID 37.00 NOT 37,000!
I don't know how your phone picked that up. I'd be beaten rapidly if my customer heard that. :|

For the love of all that is good, please tech monkeys for the green apron fabric store. PLEASE FIX THE CREDIT CARD LINE BEFORE GRAND OPENING.

I work in a Radio Shack. I'm not sure whether to consider these sucks or wtfs, but they both really through me off today. I wouldn't have thought I'd have two stories to share since I only worked 3 hours today, but something happened crazy.

( cut for some cussing )

Alright, so I didn't mind the first time you asked me if I wanted to be in Playboy. It went with the joke that the table with the reserved sign that I was setting was reserved for you, as you were Hugh Hefner. I was expecting it, and it didn't bother me.  [Edit: sorry, I guess my wording was a bit unclear. He wasn't actually Hugh, nor was the person who reserved the table.]

However, continuing to ask me when I bring settings to your table and again when I bring your drinks? So not cool. You seriously skeeved me out, as well as all the rest of the servers when I told them about you. I have never been so happy to be a busser and not a waitress, as I could avoid you for the rest of your stay. Thankfully we were super-reserved last night, so he knew he had to be out quick because the table he was sitting at had a reservation arriving in about 20 minutes.

I would also like to point out that he was making all of these comments while his wife/girlfriend/female dining companion was sitting beside him. WTF is wrong with people?

(I'd also like to add that I do not have the body type that usually garners those sorts of comments. I'm short with average proportions. I don't have DDs or anything. It was totally out in left field.)

( Dumb woman is dumb. )

http://feeds.blogthings.com/~r/blogthings/NewestQuizzes/~3/419821183/

What Flavor Latte Are You? - What flavor latte best matches your style?

I work at an outdoor/mountaineering store in the UK, and today I got to experience my first proper suck since I started working here...

( Fleecey tales )

TL;DR
Bitchy woman tries to return a 'faulty' item that isn't really all that faulty, lies to head office and eventually agrees to do the thing we'd been telling her to do all along.

Bonus WTF!

If we don't have an item in stock, we're happy to take your details and order it in for you, and when it comes we give you a ring to let you know.
I called a guy a few times today to tell him his item was in but he wasn't picking up.
Just after we close, the phone rings and my manager answers, turns out the conversation went something like this;

Ed: Good Evening *shop name*
Customer: Hi, did you try to call me?
Ed: ....it's possible, who are you? (*was probably more polite about it*)

We had a bit of a giggle about that after he'd got off the phone.
How do we know if we've called you if we don't know who you are!?

The post from phoenixblaze earlier reminded me of this, which happened last weekend.

I work at a midwestern hardware chain at which you save big money, and we have bells at the registers to call over the head cashiers when we need help with something. The trouble with them is that with the way our registers are set up, it's very easy for, say, someone going through register 6 to turn around and ring the bell on top of register 5. You would think this would only be a temptation for young children, right?

Wrong.

90% of the time, it's an grown man ringing the bell. You know the type, early 30s or so, thinks he's the most awesome thing to walk the earth? Apparently, "thinking you're hilarious" > "knowing better than to mess with store property".

Anyway, there I was, just finishing up with a customer and starting to straighten up my register, when a man turns around and hits my bell very hard. DING~! I immediately shoot one hand up to still the ringing, and tell him "Please don't do that." I'll admit, I probably sounded a little exasperated (please don't send me one comm over!) because I thought it should be common sense that an adult doesn't go randomly ringing bells that don't belong to him, and obviously have a purpose.

I straighten up a couple more things and go down to the end of my aisle to look for more people to check out...and I hear it again. DING~! I head back to where the bell is...

me: *stills the ringing again, attempts to go back to what she was doing*
Bell-Crazy Guy: "Why do you have a bell there if you're not supposed to ring it?"
me: "It's there to call over a supervisor if we have a question."
BCG: "Well I got a question!"
me: *pretty much dumbfounded*
BCG: "That's what it's for, isn't it? I needed help with something. You do NOT go off on customers. I'm going to tell your boss about this."

He then leaves, walking right out the door without making any attempt whatsoever to find my boss like he threatened, so I can only assume he was just trying to intimidate me. After that I spent the better part of half an hour internally fuming over the condescending, lecturing tone he took with me, and boggling as to why, if he had a question, he didn't ask the person who was, you know, actually helping him in the first place. By that point, my coworker (who rang him up) comes back from her lunch break, and I relate the tale...

Coworker: "Oh, that guy? Yeah, I heard him say he just had to ring it again because you told him not to do it."

WTF. Some people need to grow the hell up.

Dear Customers,

I see all of you nearly every day. You all know it is cold in here. It's wonderful that most of you have finally stopped pointing out how cold it is. Now please stop asking why I have wrist warmers on.

IT'S COLD IN HERE; THAT'S WHY.


Thank you,
Your In-Office Courrier

Some minor suck from just a few minutes ago (hooray working on a computer).

Me: Receptionist at a tutoring center. We help you learn to structure papers and not fail classes.


Dear entitled annoying woman,

We do not have any appointments right now. Mondays a a fairly busy day for us and it is very rare that we have any walk-in appointments. My coworker scheduled you an appointment for our first available slot today, which is 11:00. There is absolutely NO NEED to come in EVERY. SINGLE. HOUR. and ask "are there free tutors yet?". NO. THERE ARE NO FREE TUTORS YET. That's why we made you an appointment for 11:00. Go away and come back then. This wouldn't be nearly as annoying if you hadn't done the EXACT same thing to me TWICE last week for a good four/five hours each time (and, I just found out, you did it to my boss on Saturday). I cannot pull appointments out of my ass. Our tutors are often understaffed and are working while taking a full load of university classes. So am I. If you want an earlier appointment, go online and register for one earlier like everyone else does instead of walking in and demanding an appointment OMGNOW.

No love,
Me

*note: post edited. I apologize if I offended anyone by using the term "large". It wasn't meant as a dig, it was just her only distinguishing feature. I myself was probably larger than her in high school.

Quick WTF.

It was busy last night, and I was floater/assistant to running Front End.

At about 7:30 I noticed one of the cashiers had her light off. I had heard them page mantaince but didn't understand why until I went over there (to find out why the light was off).

Turns out, at some point, someone walked through the store in MUDDY BARE feet. The size of the footprints were way too big to be a kid (though maybe a teenager). To make things more confusing, it was a bright, warm, sunny day yesterday. No mud to be found unless one made some (such as working in a garden).

No one can figure out who it was, but it was sort of a WTF moment.

I just read a post here about carrier bags and it made me think about what happens where I work, at a supermarket that is apparently "good with food"
We have recently taken the bags away from customer view, and where they used to be there is a sign explaining that they have been removed to encourage re-use of carrier bags, that they can buy a bag for life, but if they would like a free bag they just have to ask. Perfectly reasonable in my opinion.

But here is what often happens.
1. Customer reaches for bag, discovers they are gone, tries to pull a flower bag from the back, discovers that it is a flower bag. Tries to get a bag from the next checkout over, discovers there are no bags there either. Either looks puzzled and helpless or starts to look angry.
At which point I say " Would you like a bag?" in my best cheerful voice.

2. Customer clearly needs a bag, sees they are gone, reads the sign, but says nothing, and glares at me. I ask if they would like a bag and they say yes in the tone of voice that suggests I am stupid and a bitch because I am hiding the bags from them.

And something that has only happened once, but still makes me sad that there can be that much publicity about the evils of plastic bags but some people still either don't understand or just don't care:
A couple came to my till with a lot of shopping and needed free bags which I gave them, but the man said to the woman "We could buy a bag for life." The woman looked like him like he was an idiot and said "Why on earth would I want to buy a bag?"

Just read the sign people! *headdesk*

This is a customer WTF that is still making me giggle, because it's really sort of cute, lol.

Me: Bon Giornio! Thank you for calling the Garden of Olives, mydocuments speaking, how may I help you?
Customer: Hi! Umm... my mom told me I could place orders with you guys over the phone?
Me: You sure can, and I'd be glad to take your order!
Customer: I was wanting to order one of your big salads... you know... the ones that feed four people... like... (pauses as she tries to think of the word) the Super Duper Salad?
Me: O_o ...The Jumbo Salad, ma'am?
Customer: YEAH! That's it. Sorry, I couldn't think of the word.
Me: It happens.
Customer: I kind of like it the other way though, Super Duper Salad. Nice ring to it.
Me: You know... I totally agree with you...

Me: (To my coworker, after we'd hung up) This lady just ordered a Super Duper Salad.
Coworker: That is phenomenal.

No suck, just WTF. =)

Recap: Jack-of-all-trades girl at your neighborhood grocery store with a cult following.

Tonight's rant is kind of small, but perhaps one of the most frustrating things I have to put up with at my job.

My company has decided, partially through customer feedback, to use the intercom system as little as possible. Instead we have a bell system. It's set up so depending on the number of bells rung all employees know what needs to get done. One bell rung is available cashiers to the front, two is a question for the floor, and three is for a manager, but that's not necessary to understand this rant.

Dear customers:

Stop trying to ring my freakin' bell!

Okay, we get it when a little guy bolts from mom and just has to ring the bell. They're big, shiny, and make a lot of noise - pretty cool to most little tykes. So we laugh it off and have nicknamed it "Kid bells!"

However, dear customer on the cell phone, your 12 year old daughter should NOT be running behind my register to grab the cord on the bell and ask if she should ring it. And instead of ignoring her to have your important comversation about how you don't like mashed potatoes, maybe you should have been yelling at her that it's entirely inappropriate to be behind the register. Because obviously if something is on the cashier's side of the register you have free access to it.

That's pretty frustrating, and that did set me off at work earlier today because I'm so fed up with people ringing the stupid bells. The worst is when adults feel it's okay to ring said bells behind the registers. And then have the god damn audacity to do it a second time after I very politely ask you not to do that because it's the equivalent to our intercom system. Do you normally walk through other stores and pick up their intercoms? Are you kidding me? Because it's a pretty bell it's okay for you to entirely disregard my request? Honestly, what is wrong with you????

Agh, one day I'm going to embarass all these stupid asses and publish a book about how not to suck as a customer. Seems to be harder then I initially believed and many are in desperate need of guidance.

Dear other customer,
It was really difficult for me to watch your 4 or 5 year old BAREFOOT son...... at mickey dee's
try and sneak into the COOKING part of the restaurant.

Basically, seeing your son's face a couple feet from the FRYERS (scared the living shit out of me!!!!)

And when someone asks you to get your son away from the OIL AND FLAMES!!!!

Do not say: "it's okay, he's fine, he got burnt last week at home"

WTF?!
 

http://feeds.blogthings.com/~r/blogthings/NewestQuizzes/~3/419171556/

What Breed of Dog Are You? - If you were a dog, what breed of dog would you be?

**Just a note** The owner/founder does not let us half-fill a box. You get in all sorts of trouble and you simply cannot give the customer a box that isn't full without risking your job. Stupid? Maybe, but I don't really have a say.

Dear Crazy lady with the bright, bright red coat,

I calmly explained to you, some 15 million odd times, that the box I sell to you has to be filled. That is: that the thing I put the chocolates in, cannot have room for any more chocolates once I make you give me money for it. I offered to add more of the chocolates you'd already picked. I gave you product suggestions. I offered to put your chocolates in a smaller box.

You said no, no, no and no. I'm impressed with how well you managed to conceal the stomping of your foot with each resounding "no!"

You were rude, impatient, full of yourself and ungrateful. Worst of all, you seemed dumber than a doorknob. Especially since you refused to form a full sentence for most of the transaction.

Let us review, yet again, how I can either give you a smaller box or more chocolates. "No" is not an option. It is "either or." There is a hidden third option to get out, sans chocolate. Those are your only options.

Just because you want to look generous, and get the bigger box without actually paying for it, does not mean you can do so. If you want to be cheap there is plenty of wax "chocolate" at such places as Safeway that will fulfill your needs.*

I let out the hugest sigh of relief when you left,
The seriously frustrated chocolate girl

PS: That box does normally have 4 layers. My coworker was just so frustrated with listening to your whining and simplemindedness that she would rather risk her job than have to deal with you a moment longer, even though she wasn't the one actually serving you. You really were that stupid and annoying.

(*no offense to anyone who buys/sells chocolate at Safeway or anywhere else. I'm just grumpy and the chocolate there is less expensive)

This happened to me a while ago.

I work at a smoothie shop with a hummingbird mascot. Those Entertainment books with all the coupons in them regularly run coupons for this establishment (they always look the same but have different expiration dates).

So this guy walks in, approaches the register, orders two smoothies, just like any other order. I tell him his total and he reveals that he has a coupon. I can see it in his hand now, and it looks familiar-- just like all the other coupons from the Entertainment book. He hands it to me and says, "It's buy one get one free." So I take it from him and when it's in my hand I realize that it is completely ripped in half- the wrong half. I can't see our location listed, the discount offered or expiration date.

So I tell him I can't accept it for the reasons listed above, and he flips his shit, demands a manager, etc. "THAT'S RIDICULOUS," he says. "I SPEND SO MUCH MONEY HERE." "The main reason I bought the Entertainment book was so I could use coupons!!" (it's just a book of coupons. haha) My favorite thing that I can recall about the incident was, "It just got ripped a little bit." TORN IN HALF is a little bit? Haha.

I called my manager who told me to accept it though.. saved me some grief, I guess. But after all of that he was really rude to my coworker who made his smoothies. Lame.

But I don't know. Maybe I was in the wrong here? Would it really be ridiculous to not accept that coupon? Without all that info, it's really just a slip of paper, after all. It seems to me that he was trying to cheat and double up on it by using the other half at a different location.

My coworker said she was going to post this one but she hasn't and I have insomnia so I don't think she'll mind.

I opened at our coffee shop Tuesday morning. ( This crazy lady came in at 8 or 9, I think...  )

Pizza wench here, MIT, just passed the 2 year service mark *woot* Just a couple of things from last week...


( Card payment detail... )

( Declined Card )( Mr Cynical Pants )

One last, teeny note. I saw a post the other day saying about people paying 20 for a 19.87 order and being told to keep the change. I can beat that. 10 deliveries tonight, I got 8p total in tips.