afilmabout_

i wish this weird warp that is now called reality goes back to normal,i'm losing it...figured out or came to realized that i've lost love, my value of love given was taken from granted and i won't feel home. i leave for work in approximate 2 hours, I haven't slept in 4 now 5 days. aloft in Rancho Cucamonga, gave me complications which I ended up paying around $2500 they charge you extra when you pass the check in/out mark on top of that they was "gratitude" fee, which I didn't use any gratitude... just the people in the front signing me in. WORST W HOTEL.
What I need to do is cook some pasta, with no sleep at all and carbs I believe I can drink a good amount tonight/friday night at the big bear lounge.
HEPCAT & Flogging Molly on Saturday night, taking david's room when he's out to palm springs this weekend. Stay with his hybrid cats, that don't shed and look like leopards: Killer & Baxter!

I needed last night, friends I haven't seen in long awhile. good good fun for Adri's pool birthday party which we also celebrated Tim's bday as well. Meeting with Kurt that has not ended but instead has postpone till later on today. Then it's my time for the rest of the week till friday-saturday which is going to be a hassle with 2 things going on at once. I'm glad I spend the night at their place, well his wife Katey took care of me.
Morning family, night work... Monday School and new job which seems not to end. a month ago I got tickets to see Hepcat on the 12th at the Greek Theater, however I also have a clash with another premiere party that I'm doing. Well it starts late around 9p, I have Hepcat and a few songs from Flogging Molly, leave with a few songs left. Friday night I'll be working on that and Saturday morning, then shower and change for the party. I need to look for something that can fit the show and the party so I don't have to worry about changing.

I'm in work mode, which anything that happens in my personal life with family or a break-up doesn't effect me, thanks to England I have this habit. You NEVER bring work home with you, if you do...expect being isolated as if you never came home from work. When at work NEVER bring personal with you, that just fucks up everything makes things more complicated especially when they are mighty difficult to begin with.
I've just cried myself to sleep with pints of ninecastles and a bottle of frambrose however once work is over I'll be in my car in tears...hopefully Penguin's frozen yogurt is still open even with the fires. I have a class that I signed up for CONSTRUCTION how to read blueprints. yay for PCC, it's funny that i'm immune to the fires because of the years that repeat in evacuation and fires. You know when fall come when the fires die down.

Work: Yesterday when I went to work from Ben's News has spread like the fires ever place i've been afflicted with knows. Thank you to the Sheriff of Santa Clarita. I had an intervention, why... i don't know. They brought up 'Well you have a loving boyfriend.' That made me cry, which i've never cried or was ever sad at work... I bust balls and I get my shit done. Yes i've been stressed and I took it out on smoking with yoga breathing. I don't have Ben, I wish I did... I even told ron, I wish i should have told him we can't be just friends. we can slow things down a notch or two... but you'll still be my boyfriend. even with premonitions i sadly have the same feelings. He said he never did anything, oh premonitions of her being catholic and drunken words/names. He's my weird counselor, I've already have my first assignment from which to help me cope, and sadly I can't tell him. Maybe email him, with September presents coming in and I can't even see him smile. I have him prepared with love till 3 years from now. SAD, fuck matty's premonitions, even though they have done justice with work,school and love so far last weekend was too much.
This is random, my written ramble are more in place then this above.

Checklist:
Rambles
Paint
Music

It was a domino effect...the world just ended.

Happy 25th Adrienne Vanschoonhoven!

2 years ago my bff past away, from of course a drunk/on drugs driver... what's new in valencia. As I mourned his death I ended up spending the night somewhat at the grave till I was kicked out. He's my guardian angel with 2 years of premonitions and dreams weather it happens within the next 3 days to 3 years it's there. Thanks for great memory from drunk driving accident... that i remember every word, sentence, what shoes were worn to the clothes on the backs. It's August, It reminds me of the year that past so nicely by with bliss heavens... I'm in love. I'm loving, adore him completely with even his drunken rambles of his manly man time and him cheering on for FOOD. i love him, he's my world and since march we can only get better nothing can get worst from this. it's perfect.

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Australians are here and the adorable madden... smart kid and he's so ( big.Collapse )

I did meet mike diamond from success street, who used to ditch school with roycee when they were kids in perth...


Meeting of parents was set with a text messages that was the perfect awe motion. However, getting a side job for his priorities, I was happy and proud for him.

It had nothing to do with the economy, just on the verge of you causing my break up, you your way of expressing care was more of making others feel guilty and belittle them. BUT don't worry you'll be with them for soothing. Yeah after not sleeping for 72 hours and finally eating after 24 hours with beer you tend to vomit. You treated my vomit like AIDS with your latex gloves holding the bag ahead of you and then washing your hand viciously with loads of anti-bacteria soap. The first picture you see of my boyfriend you said he looks like a fag. Who does that? Thank you for allowing me to stay at your place while visiting you, but that doesn't give you the right to treat your guest and people they care about even if they are not there physically like shit. You made that whole weekend miserable. By the way, at Hooters I loved that you told me to burn my Ben Sherman hoodie because it read the name Ben on it. ... Yes, I'm really going to listen to you and burn this 5yr old hoodie that at the time i probably paid $110 for. fucking hell!
After reconciling with my love with a long long but Good talk with him, I was more relaxed and happy for this talk. I'm grateful for him. I started to weed people out, called themselves friends or family and after all this. YOU called to tell me about a death I already knew about 4 hours prior then asking if I'm okay. When I responded with yes, I feel much better. You said good, i'm glad you're single. No i'm not single, ben and I worked things out... I'm still with him.
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Madden below refreshed me, a good tribute.



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Camping this weekend at the hut cleared my plans... i'm all set!

I finally was able to celebrate...somewhat.
origami, redwood... some rockers do hate mods, maybe the word is loathe.
sis, friends, new faces... good shit.
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i'm in love.

Well I'm falling in love when I took his hand tuesday and leaped to the unknown. To tell you the truth it feels damn good. I haven't had this feeling since jerm that ended 15m after 12 on my birthday, and we lasted 4yrs. That will be 9 years ago exactly on the 19th. picture soon, and i've painting my feelings since that day on two canvases after work.

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my favorite boddington niner, funny this picture without my photo shop background and ad like work is posted off oxford st. near my old home sadly before I traded and moved. I'm satisfied with notting hill though, 999 is my number.

madden is growing.
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...

A lot has happened since April 30.

- Christian's Birthday
- Started dating, again.
- Biting my tongue towards people at work
- Moved out of Saugus
- Having an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G boyfriend
- Being laid off, having a coward boss.
- Moving back to Saugus


Before I forget, DO NOT forget about this...&& GO it's worth all your pennies.
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- i nabbed myself a scooter boy, for valentines he's receiving a 1967 Lambretta SX 200.
- Liezel Co, 25 but whines, nags, begs and doesn't stop complaining 15 year old.
- Moved to Maple and Wilshire... however my rent started at $950 a month, every month with in 6 month it was raised $50-100 which my last payment was $1200 and she wanted it 2 weeks earlier. my roommate BLOODY DOUCHE.
- Laid off
Christian before the laid off began he left for a week vacation, Vincent just didn't want to do it... so they made two completely head of department do it. I don't know if it's a French thing, but they were the ones who hired me... not the other head of department.
- I'm back on Grovepark Dr...looking into moving to the SGV though.
+ making stockings for the girls, boys, ben&maximus.

Good update...
I realized I'm rarely on here, and if I am on here it's seems usually from my recent past entries venting, wtfs!? and get it off when I don't have my daily rambles around me to write in. I can't believe it I'm on volume 8 already, 8 years of writing, sketching, pictures and collecting. 8 years.
So FRIENDS ONLY is off starting with this one. welcome.