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This could be the very minute

I'm aware I'm alive


vi tittar uppåt, uppåt, uppåt.
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För the botten is nådd
hur långt kan man gå?
hur lågt kan man sjunka,
hur kasst kan man må?

Kändes för jävligt illa
men det börjar bli lite bättre nu min vän
Om jag tappar fästet, trillar ner
ska jag klättra upp igen



Nex week this time I'm in Riga <3
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I finally decided today that I'll go to Riga for Davis Cup! Yes, I booked the tickets in July, but because of university I haven't been quite sure whether I could make it. But now it seems like desitny: my Serbian class for next Friday is cancelled, as well as my last lecture on Thursday (from 16 to 18). That means that I can take a bus to Tampere and make my flight!

So on Thursday night, so next week this time, I will be in Riga! Hopefully staying with Camilla and her friend, if not, I will have to come up with a back-up-plan. And Davis Cup on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.. Ernests! Karlis! (who will hopefully be cheering his team-mates, even if he's injured).

Going back will be a pain in the ass: with a bus to Tallinn and then to Helsinki with the ferry. I'll see next week whether I can skip my 9:15 liteature science class, and only go to school at 14:15, when the next class is.. Then I could spend Sunday night in Riga and take a really early bus.. :)

Laa la laa, life is good! Seeing Ernests! And school is awesome! And tomorrow there wil be party! And a Balkan-concert! With a lot of fun people :)

I <3 serbian!!
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Yesterday I had a date with my Serbian dictionary. I was translating this text, which I couldn't understand, with so many strange grammar-things that I was going mad. Yes, I've had one Serbian class and already I'm dying.
I knew it was going to be hard and that I'd have to do a lot of work but.. I HATE SERBIAN GRAMMAR.

So now I'm off to my first "real" day of university (I only have one lecture on Tuesdays and Wednesdays). From 10 to 18, which basically means 4 lectures: Estonian society, Introduction to Southeastern European studies (can't wait!), Serbian and linguistics. It's a busy day, let's hope I have time to sit down for some lunch at some point.

I'm a university student and very happy about it. :D
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Where to start?

Maybe with the fact, that I'm so incredibly happy, and couldn't feel more at home at the uni of Helsinki. Last week was only orientation, when we got to know the university (tried out all the different eating places, checked out the libraries and all other things that might be useful), each other, and decided what courses to take and just.. general stuff.

We're 14 freshmen; 6 are studying Baltic languages and the rest are Southern & Western Slavonic languages (we'e mostly referred as just slavists). We're really a strange bunch: some are just out of high school, some have another degree already, there's 2 men who already have children.. But what we all have in common is this strange love/obsession for the Balkans, Baltics and "eastern central europe" or whatever it should be called in English.

So, all in all, I feel like I've come home. Like I've fund my place. Like the next 5 years will be the best of my life. And I'm so happy, happy, happy.

I had my first lecture yesterday; 3 hours of "literature science" (I bet this has a smarter, English name as well, but I have no idea what it is), which is a compulsory class. There's not too many of those, luckily; only linguistics and then some language classes (Swedish, Finnish and a foreign language other than Serbian). In this first period/quarter I have Serbian (taking it with the 2nd year students.. eek), introduction to south-eastern european studies, Estonian (beginner's), Estonian society, history and culture and linguistics & literature science. Maybe I will still pick up another course if I find something interesting which fits my schedule.

So yeah, life's good!

Biče mi teško bez tebe
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It's in the middle of the night, but I have finished packing, and I'm ready to head to Helsinki tomorrow! The parents are driving down from Jakobstad tomorrow morning, and should be here at 9. Then we move the stuff to the car, and start driving. About 5 hours. YAY. It's not so bad, but it's still quite a long way. We'll go to IKEA to buy a table and a bed, and whatever I decide I might. Then spending the night at the cousin's which should be a lot of fun (:

I've been listening to so much Serbian music, thinking about the past, the future. I've been picturing my studies, the different classes I will take and all the interesting (!!yes) things I'll learn. I've been thinking about my studies abroad, even if that's still many years away. I've seen myself living in the Belgrade suburbs, taking the noisy buses to the city every day. I've talked with Goran, loved him again even tho I know I shouldn't. I've planned future trips, dreamt about Serbia and wished I was a millioner. The usual.
 
I've been listening to this non-stop tonight:



Biče mi teško bez tebe, možda i tebi bez mene
Al' sve je tako, kako je
To što se mora, lako je, lako je
Gde god da bio srećan mi bio
A ja ću stalno plakati tajno
<3

Being productive, for once.
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Ah, never expect too much from the javelin throwers, cause when you do, they will surely let you down. So Tero Pitkämäki was sick, so he's excused, but the rest did quite miserably.

Anyways: I've had quite a productive day: In the morning I biked to the city (while listening to music which I FINALLY put on my cell!), went to the university and talked with some women. Then I signed some papers, which said that I'll just be absent next year, and start my studies in Helsinki. So that if I somehow regret next year, I can still come back here and have my study place waiting for me. Then I had some tea in the city, while reading "Stalin's cows" by Sofi Oksanen (brilliant, btw), and looked around in shops. Found so many nice things to buy, but have to stop myself.

Then I came home, and continued being productive: I accepted my study place in Helsinki, paid the fees and ordered a student id, cancelled my old financial aid and filled in the new applications ("fun". hopefully they have time to process them on time!) delegated some paperwork to my mom (about the new apartment - they need to be in Helsinki tomorrow, so she'll fax them there). Tomorrow I just need to end the contract on this apartment, and then I think I have it all done!

I think I will start packing on Thursday, and finish up on Friday. I don't want to start too early, then wait anxiously and live in the middle of boxes for a few days. And I need to look for some furniture from IKEA for the new place, since it's not furnished like this one. A bed, a table.. The rest I'll get from home I think.

And maybe I'll award myself this nice, little black dress for my new life in Helsinki. Hmm. Or I can award it to myself in Helsinki, when I get the financial aid. :D Cause if I don't get it in time, then I definetely don't have the money.

And in a week I've started my studies at the oldest, biggest, and probably the best uni of Finland. I just could not be happier!!

Helsinki, here I come!
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I got the official letter from the University of Helsinki, so everything is in order. This really is happening! (: I got tons of other, more or less useful, papers as well. About everything pretty much. Most of the stuff I knew beforehand, but I've still been reading them in excitement (cool to have them in paper-form!).

And I need to tell Åbo Akademi, my current uni, that I won't be starting my studies there this fall. "Yay". Their office isn't open on Fridays and no one picked up the phone. So I will wait until Monday, and will probably go there myself, so I can talk with an actual person. You can only accept one study place each year, and I'm pretty sure I accepted this one last year. I sure hope so, cause otherwise I guess they could make me stay. Or at least not let me enroll in another course. eek! But no, everything will be fine!

And once I do that, I will end the contract for my apartment. Yes, after 2 months. :D But the good news: I got an offer for an apartment in Helsinki! A room in a 3 person apartment with very reasonable rent, good connections to the center. I'm so happy, cause I never thought I could get a place in time, since Helsinki is so swamped with students! The contract starts September 1st, so I'll spend a few nights at my cousin's before moving.

But I've been looking at course desciriptions and all compulsory courses I have to take. So exciting! There'll be a lot of languages the first year, that much I can say..!



HELSINKI, JUST WAIT, HERE I COME!
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I've been following the track and field world championships quite a bit the last days. Blanka Vlašić got the gold, which was just awesome. Too bad she still wasn't able to break the world record..

And then today it finally starts; THE sport: javelin throw. Tero Pitkämäki has a slight fever, but it's reported that he'll throw today anyways. Even if he's not 100 % today, he should be able to get to the final pretty efortlessly. So apart from Pitkämäki, I hope that Antti Ruuskanen, Tero Järvenpää and Teemu Wirkkala will also do good in the qualies.

OK. So I just heard on the news that Tero Pitkämäki is having cramps in his back. Shiiiit.

Things that don't happen in real life.
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This doesn't happen in real life, only in movies, stories or.. to other people. The last days I haven't really known whether to laugh or cry and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. But this sums up my mood the best:

:D

And that's the way it's gonna stay!

So, yesterday morning, just before heading to the hairdresser I get an email, from the university of Helsinki. Apparently they had miscalculated the points from my final exams and turns out that I had enough points and should've been accepted. And they're still offering me a place (I guess, they just have to since I'm entitled to one).

My first reaction? Hysterical crying. Calling my mom. Trying to process the thoughts of the mighty uni of Helsinki letting me study what I want. After thinking about it throughout the day, I decided I have to go for it. Yes, I'll have to move again, do some paperwork, pay some more money (I have to pay next month's rent for two places) - but it'll be worth it. Studying something I want and actually looking forward to next year.

Also looking at the course description, I should be able to go straight to Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian 2, since the level isn't so high. So let's hope they let me do it! I might still want to take Bulgarian tho, aince that would help me understand some more Macedonian as well.

A part of me still thinks it's a scam. Mom called me today "What if someone just hacked into the system..? It happened a few years ago!" I guess none of us believes it's happening. I'll believe tomorrow when I get the official letter in the mail :P

:) :) :)

Legendary.. not.
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My sleeping pattern is all messed up. I mean; it's 2:30 at night and up, for no particular reason. The only thing I've done today is watched How I Met Your Mother season 4 which has been legen.. wait for it.. dary. LEGENDARY. I'm up to episode 18 which is not quite normal I think..

And I watched Underground by Emir Kusturica which was brilliant. So Serbian. People saying "šta radiš BRE?!" when they find their brother hanging himself. Very Serbian indeed. And the music! I swear Goran Bregović is a genious! I was dancing around to all the brass music! KALAŠNJIKOV KALAŠNJIKOV KALAŠNJIKOV!





The serbian tagline is "Bila jednom jedna zemlja" ; "Once upon a time there was a country". And yeah, the movie is about a country that doesn't exist anymore. A country I never got the chance to visit.

But oh how I miss it! I need to save up, I want a Balkan-summer next summer! (Srbija, Crna Gora i malo Hrvatska..)

Moving, moving..
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A lot has happened during the last days:

On Sunday I met with the pigeons (students that are 2 and 3 years younger than me, but we've bonded on the trip to Tallinn a bit over a year ago :p) for a "liquid picnic". It was great to see them again and have some fun, but the night (on my part..) ended with too much alcohol, and the next day I had the worst hangover ever. Not cool.

While suffering from the worst hangover ever I packed the last of my stuff (..and forgot my straightening iron, phone charger, the usb-chord for my phone..) and headed towards Jakobstad with my parents, where we stayed a night at grandma's. And today we continued to Vasa, where I'll be starting my new life this fall. Eek!

First of all: the city is beautiful! It's officially the sunniest city in Finland, the houses are old (Jugend-style, I guess), lots of parks and green areas. The sea is close, and there are actually some nice shops we don't have in Oulu (not that I can afford to shop :p)

Bought tons of groceries and cleaning stuff and headed to the apartment, which is closer to the center than I expected, and alot nicer than I expected. The room is bigger than my room back home, the windows are big, a lot of storage space = yay! The bad thing is that I can't hang my magnetic board up, since I can't nail anything, and the walls are looking very bare since I'm not too into taping anything on them either. Hmm.
So far I have one flatmate; she's only 16 and is now a first year student at a school, where she'll become a beautician as well as get a high school diploma. Even tho she's young, she's really nice, and we've already watched Gossip Girl and Skins together :p You know, I'm not so mature..

And Goran has stopped to love me I guess. Or then he better have a great reason.

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