yay random once-in-a-blue-moon update! O:
i don't really have anything to write about. i feel like i'm on a sort of half-holiday cos i'm on rural at the moment - which means i spend 2 weeks in the country on placement. i got a place that's a mere hour from melbourne, so i'm home for the weekend. yay i've missed my shower, my bed and my internet.
the dare women's conference was this weekend. i feel like i got more out of last year's. it was slightly annoying when one of the guest speakers only had 3 minutes for her sermon because she'd spent the rest of it giving away freebies. time management fail. half of the time i was so tired i kept dozing off / zoning out, but that's kinda my fault, cos i was watching wicked on youtube and singing at the top of my voice late into the night. FUN :D
oh yes, I SAW WICKED LAST SUNDAY OMGGGG!!! so good. like omg wow. amaaaaazing. from the set to the costumes to the lighting, sound and music. and omg the caaaassstttt. incredibly talented. especially amanda harrison who played the part of elphaba. her voice is absolutely stunning; i think i stopped breathing out of sheer awe and amazement. then i looked it up on youtube last night and watched interviews and behind the scenes and all those sorts of things - felt like the special features on a dvd. mmmm so gooood.
i was raving about it to my mum today and she was like, 'i want to see it now. do you want to see it again?' and i was like KJNDVKJNTRKJNKGNKREGNRNTG YEEESSSSS!!!!
i don't know if she was being serious, but we shall see. :D
ooh i got a t-shirt, and i wore it today, and people asked me about it, and i was like IT'S SO GOOD GO SEE IT NOW and they were like i'm so jealous and i was like hee i know.
hm. i'm getting fatter and fatter. i hate winter for that reason. ): one of my rural cabinmates went out jogging in the fricken cold like every night. ): respect. i contemplated walking for about 30min everyday, but when it comes down to it, i can never be bothered. i'm so unfit it's ridiculous. ): whinge whinge. i should do some pilates. i just saw a thing on tv saying how good it is for toning etc.
the speaker at church today [the same lady who spent more time giving away freebies than on her sermon] was talking about the desires of our heart, amongst other things. she said she had prayed for her husband for years, and i thought, oh maybe he had like issues when they got married or something. then she said she did this especially on saturday nights when she felt lonely, and eventually i gathered that she meant she prayed for A husband. she said something about, because we're born again and we have the Holy Spirit in us, we can be quite confident that most of our desires come from God. well either they're the same desires God wants for our lives, or they're our own carnal desires that God has allowed us to harbour so he can show us something. i kinda made that last bit up but anyway. she said it can be really easy to make our desires all about ourselves, which is when we conform the consumerist mentality that's so prevalent in our society today. but if we pray about our desires, asking God to be the centre of them, for them to line up alongside God's will for our lives, then he can turn our desires into blessings that involve others. or something like that.
SO the point that i got out of that was to do with my jl issue, the boy i'm - yes - still in love with. sometimes i convince myself that this whole thing is part of God's plan for me, whatever the outcome turns out to be. other times, i almost beat myself up thinking about how indulgent, self-centred and narrow-minded this whole thing has made me, and how it's bad and not doing anything for anyone and so i should stop. so i guess now i'm thinking, who knows whether God intended for this to happen or not, although i know he certainly saw it coming. but whatever it is, the important thing is i keep God central to my focus, which i have been doing, and that i pray for God to use this for his glory, somehow or other, which he may be doing already anyway. as much as this is fun and partly for the sake of entertainment and hilarity, it could have eternal consequences for all i know - for me, for the people around me, for him even [lols]. and if it actually turns out to be a blessing to others due to some God-ordained divine chain of events, then yay!
omg wow it's late. time for bed!