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THE FUCKING FUCKERS FUCKED [28 Apr 2005|03:42am]
GET Exam times for BIOL1011
-Not till end of semester
GET Filing system
WORK on Tuesdays
GET A JOB YOU FREAKING HIPPIE!

No, really. Tom, you have to stop fucking around.... you aren't just organising school anymore. You need to pay attention in class and do your work BEFORE it is due. You are so fucking behind. Listen, you are responsible for your WHOLE LIFE now, and you can fuck it up. If you don't keep track of things you could be out of university and on the streets before you know it. Recreation and work CANNOT mix. Designate times for work.

Fuck social occassions, fuck people, fuck computers, fuck food.

GET A JOB
GET A CALENDAR
STOP RECREATIONAL PURSUITS
READ UP ON ANCIENT HISTORY, BIOLOGY AND PHILOSOPHY, IT ISN'T THAT HARD!
IF YOU GET A BAD GPA THIS SEMESTER YOU GET -1 TO LIFE.
CONTACT WALLIS ABOUT THE MISSED BIOL1011 TUTE, DO WRIT1000 TUTE.

FUCK MAN, FUCKING FUCK!
1 comment|post comment

[19 Apr 2005|02:06pm]
[ mood | racooned ]

Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 75%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the
right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere.
Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.



My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 64% on survivalpoints
Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on OkCupid Free Online Dating
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I just woke up! [13 Apr 2005|09:43am]
I'm pretty sure that an infinite bag of lemons could solve any of the worlds problems. Yesterday I told one of my friends at IH this, and he immediately said, "Even a surplus of lemons?". Smartass.

"Of course you can," I said. "All you have to do is make a lemon-turbine, then turn the lemon-bag upside down over it, thus creating an infinite source of lemons. This infinite source of power would be used to power lemon-seeking robots that would take the lemons and throw them into a nearby black hole."

Tom (yes, another tom) looked at me in disgust and said "Oh."

Other problems, like scurvy and world hunger could also be obliterated, and I'm pretty sure the Wachowski brothers wouldn't have made the last two matrix movies if they had an infinite amount of lemons thrown at them....... by lemon-seeking robots.

Imagine the power that a leader could have if he had access to this amazing technology. Agriculture would become non-essential, and you would have an infinite power source. And if you were defeated, and you wanted to destroy the world so no-one else could have it, you could simply attach a weight to the mouth of the bag and a balloon to the bottom. This would mean that the bag would constantly be pouring out lemons, resulting in the drowning of the world in a sea of lemons.



I'm pretty sure it would be ultimately concealable as well. Picture this, businessman walks into Times Square. He opens his briefcase and pulls out..... A HESSIAN SACK!

Everyone runs. People begin screaming, babies crying, dogs barking.

He gives out an evil laugh and turns the bag upside down, releasing millions of lemons that pour onto him and drown him. The lemons fill Times Square and then New York, and then the US. Up in a satellite high above the Earth, where the US is hiding their secret mind-control lasers, the astronauts look down at the rising yellow menace (lol, unintentional racism) and say to themselves "Oh no, we're too late!"

After a few thousand years of infinite lemons pouring out, the increased mass of the Earth causes it to crash into the sun. The bag of lemons survives, pouring out lemons into the fiery mass. Soon, a black hole forms, and continues to grow, feasting on the lemons. The Universe dies.

THE END
8 comments|post comment

X-35 Joint Strike [08 Apr 2005|03:48am]
[ mood | Vending machine ]

First Dungeons and Dragons meeting tomorrow at 1 AM.

I'm pretty nervous. Only one person in the group that I am in charge of is younger than me. One of the players is my Senior Resident, basically the person in charge of my tower. fun fun fun

1 comment|post comment

Yaaaaaaawn [06 Apr 2005|09:02am]
[ mood | hallucinating ]

Sleep is a waste. I've been up for 24 hours. I wonder if I can make it to 48.......

If any of you have fast internet, I totally recommend downloading an episode of "ROBOT CHICKEN" (Made by Seth Greene). Download the second episode if you only download one. It has voltron breakdancing.....

lol

2 comments|post comment

[04 Apr 2005|12:01am]
[ mood | PHILOSODOMIPHING ]

Napoleon
You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Napoleon Dynamite is one of the coolest movies I've ever seen. If you haven't seen it already, you should.



IN OTHER NEWS:

My internet connection is so fast that I don't need to watch TV anymore. I can download stuff faster than I can watch it. Currently on Tom's TV Station: Whose Line is it Anyway, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Kung Fu Hustle, Lupin 3: Dead or Alive and Family Guy.

BUHAHAHAHA suckers.

I really need more hard drive space for coolness.

I am doing a Philosophy assignment right now, and this is it:

"Answer the Question 'Where am I?'"

Does that pwn or what?!?!?!?

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INTRODUCING TO THE PUBLIC: "SUPER-shutting-people-down-in-lectures-MAN" [07 Mar 2005|04:07pm]
[ mood | kicking ass and taking notes ]

Ok, ok.

So I was in a university lecture today, PHIL1000. Eranthi and I were sitting up the back, being cool dudes, not talking in the middle of the "man's" speeches, when this guy makes this lame call, totally disrupting the class. I'm all like, "OMG, WTF, n00b." but I don't say anything because I'm nice.

This continues, with the guy paraphrasing the professor d00d for no obvious reason, and making lame calls every thirty seconds. I lean over to Eranthi and whisper, "I fucking hate that guy." We continue to hate him for the next thirty minutes. Soon, everyone is whispering "I fucking hate that guy," and groaning whenever he opens his filthy pie-mouth-hole-thing.

SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE TO STOP THIS FILTHY "BUTTING IN" MAN!

Tom puts on his superhero costume.

The guy pipes up yet again. Everyone is like "STFU n00b" under their breath (This guy is about 30 by the way).

I put my hand up, and I sez "Um, sir, I was just wondering if we could institute the "put your hand up before speaking rule? I'd really like that."

Everyone laughs. The idiot-man waits about 10 seconds and says "Well, if you want that, maybe you should go back to school."

The lecture continues and I'm like "wtf, I so got a headshot on that guy. Lame."

However, the idiot-man pipes up again after 30 seconds. The lecturer fixes his eyes on him and says "I didn't see a hand up."

The lecture bursts into cheering and applause.

FLAWLESS, FATALITY, TOM WIN!!!!



Hopefully the idiot man is non-violent.......

Anyway, after the lecture I went up to the cool professor and said to him, "I'm sorry if I embarassed you or disrupted the class." (I thought I might have)

The professor was all liekkkkkkk "I hated that guy. Thanks."

People in the question line behind me congratulated me as well. It was the best day ever.

I am so fucking proud of myself.

Anyways, how's university going for everyone?

6 comments|post comment

lolololololololololololololol [03 Mar 2005|11:37am]
[ mood | Undelicious ]

Hey dudes, I only have 150MB of download quota at this here University, so I won't be posting very much. I might get a more expensive and cool account later.

Hopefully I can get some New Zealand photos up soon.

University has been great so far. All my classes look awesome, especially my PHIL1000 class, which is going to include me arguing, all the time. Excellent.

I have a 1500 Ancient History assignment due in ten days, but I'll have it done.

Cya d00ds.

P.S. The inter-dorm movie network makes me faint with pleasure. (1.09 MB/s)

*Faint*

1 comment|post comment

[02 Mar 2005|09:32am]
So, like, I was walking down the street, and this man comes up to me, and he sez, "So jimmy, I hear you've had too many coconuts for your own good." So I'm about to draw my minigun and fight him to the death when this gigantic beam of energy shoots out of the sky and incinerates us all. So, I'm dead, right, but I'm a ghost because I have unfinished business. So I go and do my tax return, and then I ascend to Valhalla where I can have as much coconut ice as I want without some punk ass bitch threatening me.

THE END
3 comments|post comment

[21 Feb 2005|09:28am]
[ mood | Hammertime ]

YARRARARARARARARRA!


I AM IN INTERNATIONAL HOUSE!

NEW ZEALAND WAS EXCELLENT.

MY NUMBER IS 37212264!

NEW ZEALANDERS ARE REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THEY MEASURE UP TO AUSTRALIANS.

Also, I am creating a role-playing club for International House.

As previously stated, I'm in Tower D, Level 1, Room 4. Drop in anytime.

6 comments|post comment

LOL [23 Jan 2005|12:37pm]
[ mood | Dag, yo ]

Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn
What is yo name?
Yo gangsta name beMilk Choclate Nuggets
You ride around in a1964 Chevy Impala
Yo gangThe Adjective Nouners
Yo shoes beMade outta trash bags
Yo dubs be dis big, fool1,666
How much money you got?$6.43763217113015e+26
How gangsta are you, bitch?: 79%
Quiz created with MemeGen!



Reprahzent.
2 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2005|08:37pm]

I am nerdier than 85% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!
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UQ Stufffffff. [19 Jan 2005|05:44pm]
ANCH1250

Semester 1: #2 (2L1T) Sem 1 St Lucia Inc: CN122 or CN125 Coordinator: Assoc. Prof. D Watts Assessment: Assessment (30%), mid-semester exam (30%), final exam (40%) Survey of earliest inhabitants of Italy, society & civilisation of Etruscans & general survey of Roman history to death of Claudius.

BIOL1011

Semester 1 or 2: #2 (3L2C) Sem 1 (BACS Enrichment Studies students only Sem 2) St Lucia Inc: BL107 Coordinator: Dr David Merritt Assessment: Practical mark, end sem examination Cells & cell division, physical basis & patterns of inheritance, genotype & phenotype, genetic variation & evolution, human modification of genomes & species, diversity of life through time, speciation & extinction, genomics, human genetics & ethical issues.

WRIT1000

#2 (3C) Sem 1 or 2 St Lucia Inc: EN151 Coordinator: Dr P. Mitchell Assessment: Research essay, stylistic analysis, library test Introduction to academic discourse. Skills of academic writing, reading & research. Examination of various written genres & their effects.

PHIL1000

#2 (2L1T) Sem 1 or 2 St Lucia Inc: PD100 Coordinator: Dr P. Dowe (Sem 1), Dr W. Grey (Sem 2) Assessment: Assignments, exam & tutorial participation An introduction to philosophy, its influence & its methods of inquiry through discussion of a range of topics including personal identity, the nature of mind, freewill & determinism, scepticism, the existence of a God, & the meaning of life.








MONDAY:

BIOL1011: L3 - 9:00am to 9:50am – Block 63
|
6 hours
|
ANCH1250: T2 – 4:00pm to 4:50pm – Block 09
ANCH1250: L2 - 5:00pm to 6:50pm – Block 03

TUESDAY:

NOTHING

WEDNESDAY:

WRIT1000: L0 – 10:00am to 10:50am – Block 50
BIOL1011: L3 – 11:00am to 11:50am – Block 63
|
2 hours!
|
BIOL1011: P14 - 2:00pm to 3:50pm – Block ?
|
2 hours!
|
PHIL1000: L2 - 6:00pm to 7:50pm – Block 03

THURSDAY:

WRIT1000: T7 – 10:00am to 11:20am – Block 09
BIOL1011: L3 -12:00pm to 12:50pm – Block 63
PHIL1000: T10 – 1:00pm to 1:50pm – Block 09

FRIDAY:

NOTHING
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HELLO! [19 Jan 2005|11:32am]
[ mood | qwerty ]

Hey, if you're going to UQ, I'd love to see your ugly face!

I'm staying at International House, Tower D, Level 1, Room 4.

My phone number is 3721 2264.

My Address is 5 Rock street (Are you ready to ROCK?!?!?!?)


I won't be there until the 20th of February.

Also, I won't be here from the 1st of February until the 18th. I shall be in New Zealand.

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Dem things wat Tom gone and said. [18 Jan 2005|06:44pm]
[ mood | weird ]

Tom says:
I makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Tom says:
Like when you climb into a microwave.

-------------------------------------------

Tom says:
When I get too bald, I'm just going to shave my head and break pool cues.

-------------------------------------------

5 comments|post comment

Oh, Zog, how we mourn you. [11 Jan 2005|10:22pm]
[ mood | mourning Zog ]

Today, a dreadful thing happened.

Zog died.

Zog could be seen frolicking in TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). He first appeared in "Secret Origins 1" in this encounter, he tried to destroy the turtles and failed, at which time his gas mask was damaged.

Zog was a Triceraton.



Triceratons are not used to the Earth's atmosphere, and as a result, hallucinate when exposed to it for prolonged periods of time. The damage that Zog's gas mask sustained exposed him to Earth's atmosphere.

When Zog returned in Episode 45, "Rogue in the House" he was hallucinating so much that he mistook the turtles for Triceraton officers, and placed himself under their command.

He was a loyal companion. He looked so cool in his lurid suit, his green visor over his cold, battle-hardened eyes. As he threshed through the ninjas and elite robot soldiers that the infamous villian "Shredder" spawned, I couldn't help but feel empathy for this big, misunderstood lug.

The pain in his eyes was obvious. What family did you leave on your home planet, Zog? Will a widow weep for you?

As Zog dove into the flames, bear-hugging shredder, I couldn't help but shed a tear for him. Poor Zog.

And what did he get for his sacrafice? That BITCH rat made the turtles leave him to roast, and not a tear was shed for him. The turtles USED him, like a fucking henchman that appears in only one episode. To top it off, Shredder escaped the exploding ship with nothing more than a blown off leg. Fuck.


-------------------------------------


I feel the need to give the noble Triceraton, Zog, all that I can spare, and so:




ODE TO ZOG:

Oh Zog, you were so great,
You saved the turtles from a horrible fate.
What did they give you in turn?
They did not mourn you when you burned.

You bravely fought Shredder's troops,
Punching them in their dispensers of poop.
You racked up almost 20 kills,
The kind that serial killers do for thrills.

You were loyal to your friends,
And brought honour to your station,
It was incredibly sad,
That it was a mass hallucination.

11 comments|post comment

And another thing: [06 Jan 2005|05:07pm]
This is the site of my D&D campaign. Trust me, I have more than this done, I just have to convert it all to a coherent, digital form.

The sole entry is really a primer for the cool ancient history of the world, that involves lots of big explosions, a sentient sun and moon, killing the gods, insanity, and PIGGIES!

larentia

P.S. The name of the world is lame as well. I'm so bad at names dammit.
4 comments|post comment

I miss myself. [06 Jan 2005|04:39pm]
[ mood | hot ]

Ok, OK!

So, since its been a long time since I wrote even a semi-coherent journal entry, I thought I'd do one now.


I SMOKED WEED!

TWICE!


The first time was at the house warming party in Paddington. There was this intensely annoying girl there, who was so fucking patronising to me. I HATE HER SO MUCH. She was about 25 and had a French boyfriend, who had this weird accent that was really hard to understand.

She was always like: "Oh, you're such a cute little boy."

She presumed that I didn't know how to mix a drink, and she tried to show me how to mix a drink for a girl. She gave me some vodka to use, and she was like, "Put it in about a third of the way." I poured in half, and then she said "No no no, that's too much." And I was like, "Its for me you sea-witch."

Then she got some bongo drums from somewhere and she was trying to teach everyone to "Move with the beat." I wasn't interested, but she insisted on trying to teach me to play the drums, even though she ADMITTED that she knew nothing about them.

After my final refusal, she tried to pry open my legs (every guys dream) and wedge the drum in between them.

Afterwards, when I was vomitting in the garden because I didn't want a bad hangover, she said, "This'll be a learning experience for you."

I was so totally WTF, because she was such a fucking wanker to think me so naive and inexperienced. She also assumed I was 17, and continued to tell me that it was alright because I was 17 and just learning the rest of the night.

Sometime during this sea-witches heinous cock-sucking weed was produced. I had a few puffs off two different joints. I didn't get stoned.

A friend of mine offered to cut up some more for me, but I was to tired to try again. I went to bed at my sisters house, also located in Paddington, woke up in the morning and stumbled all the way home.


FAST FORWARD TO NEW YEARS:


So, I was up at Noosa for a while before New Years. I was going to a rave, but then Laura made other plans. *sigh*

I had a couple party offers, but I wanted to go out with friends. I rang Duncan, who was one of the only people left in Brisbane due to the mass holiday Exodus.

Duncan was going to a party with some cool guys, and they were fine with me going too, so I showed up.

It was a small party with only around 6 guys and one girl.

After drinking a bit and eating some good pizza, some of the guys decided they wanted some cigars, so, being the only 18 year old, I had to buy them.

We then walked down to the park. We started a wet grass fire with our good friend citronella.

There was a playground which we hit empty bottles off.

Soon, weed was produced, along with a pipe. I was drunk, but would have done it anyway, so I had a bit off a puff and got stoned and it was good.

Well, it wasn't great...... It wasn't a trip, it was just like getting more drunk.... which I could do more cheaply and less illegally with alcohol. I'll do it again, though.






ALSO: I got a gameboy ADVANCE!!!! Who has games they wish to sell me? (I love pokemon silver!)

3 comments|post comment

[06 Jan 2005|03:41pm]
1. Marilyn Monroe: Who was the first President of the United States?

2. Forty-two: How many times did the mouse when it spins?

3. In my parents' basement: "Quick Joan, hide the typewriter!" is a line from which famous 1957 drama?

4. Fluorescent pink: The struggle of the urban proletariat is a "what" struggle.

5. Killing people for fun: What is an eggbeater for?

6. Elizabeth Haydon's Symphony of Ages series: What me worry?

7. Toilet paper: 4 ply good, 2 ply bad.

8. Smart, funny, sexy, purple, monkey, dishwasher: Name six soccer players that were born in Surrey, Newfork.

9. An African swallow, or a European swallow?: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, diddly dee dee!

10. Your mom: In what year was the battle of Hastings?

11. Boxer briefs: In the movie "Event Horizon" starring Sam Neill, the portal in engineering opens to a place of pure "what and what".

12. Every woman has the right to choose: How many times have I told you not to let the cat out during the night?

13. Rata and Muffins: The two super-secret pokemon in pokemon silver for gameboy colour are called what?
1 comment|post comment

I had fun last night. I got kicked out of a bar and ran around Bracken ridge looking for a bus stop [23 Dec 2004|03:29pm]
[ mood | boom shakalaka ]

I'm currently staying in a house at Noosa.... anyone want to come up and hang out?

Ring me marm's mobile (I hate my phone): 0408881256

4 comments|post comment

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