my heart - your hands

ps

2007-04-10T06:04:11Z

new livejournal
and i thinkkkk i just might use it .
add me?

evernevernow

!

2007-04-10T04:49:49Z

stop time please
these days are going by way too fast.

truth

2007-01-19T04:46:54Z

birthdays have lost their magic
i dont even look forward to them i just
let them creep up on me.

i'd like to call it pathetic, if i mayyyyyy .

truth

2007-01-07T03:11:47Z

i stopped writing in my livejournal because i stopped having Bullshit in my life .
no ridiculous boys. high school. no permits (just licenses). good job. gooodmONey.
Goood fucking people.
but reading dat old shit...oh good memories.
GOOD CHANGES. thank goodness for growing up.

Goback and read your old shit
i promise a laugh OR a cry.
either one is a good thing.
or play the wiii
either one is good advice.

livejournal uprising.

2006-12-25T00:24:12Z

dude wha daaa fuhhhhh
oh damn i miss my lj

i dont even know how to post entriessssss anymore lol.
does any one still read this bish?!

make it hip.

_yoursecret @ 2006-01-22T21:33:00

2006-01-23T02:46:15Z

haha dood seriouslyyyyy.

i feel like i just ended a serious relationship
laaaaame.

anyways,
i'm not going to put you out on lj like that
so i'm just going to say i'm glad you got what you had to say out of your system

and i'm truly sorry you did all of that just for me
i'm sorry that i intentionally used you just for your car, and your gas knowing you didn't want to waste them on me
i'm sorry that you don't think about yourself more often or speak up
and i'm sorry that you think i'm so low as to do all of that just to spite you.

oh and by the way;
about that lying thing (because for some reason i feel the need to justify myself)
i was straight up honest with you from day one.
whether i lied to someone else didnt matter
because i told YOU the truth. i didnt hide that from YOU.

_yoursecret @ 2005-12-24T22:03:00

2005-12-25T05:25:26Z

it's funny because i know exactly where i was and what i was doing, who i was dating, and who my friends were this time last year. and i can't help but realize how much things have changed. or maybe how things haven't changed...just the people.

i'm sad. i'm not supposed to be sad on christmas.

even though you never comment...

2005-11-04T04:09:41Z

I've lied to myself for so long that i'm not even sure if it matters. I've learned that who i want to be (or atleast who i thought i was), is not who i am. I thought building walls, and holding emotions back would help me not to feel, but i've learned it will only break you. I thought if i convinced myself love didn't exist, i could never be hurt. I thought by not trusting anyone, no promises could be left unfilled. I thought if i let the ones i care about the most go, i could eventually convince myself they didn't matter. I thought by letting him go, he'd come back. I've learned i've been searching so long to be in love just to find i've had it all along. And even though it may be too late, i find closure in knowing i once did. I thought being strong meant never running back, no matter how much i wanted to. I thought being weak, meant being helpless. With your help, i saw a part of me that i have never seen before, and i learned to hate that part. It's taking time but i'm learning the beauty in the tears that i've cried. I've noticed that every ounce of pain thats tugging at my heartstrings will only relieve a song at the end of it. The kind of song that you put on repeat, the same song that introduced you to your love of words. I want the feeling of being on the highest mountain, outstretching my arms, and being carried away by the wind even if it not be in a literal sense. I've learned that denying love, only makes you selfish and sheltered. I thought i was the one person out of all my friends that had myself figured out. But i now know that i really don't know anything about myself.

make this a dream because i really cant believe that shes gone

2005-10-23T23:41:13Z

Orlando was amazing.
Met the owner of pita pit<333 at the mall, and realized it was love at first sight. Went to Club Paris & kissed a pretty hot kid, props to me. GotCRUNK. Went to UCF. Hated Halloween Horror Nights because i'm a baby. Met a lot of new people. Partied with four awesome chicks, a lot. Shopped. You know how we do.

i like the changing of the seasons.

Don't fake yourself into ever, ever thinking about yesterday.

& now here's one too many pictures;

that's our "we dont wanna go home" face.

drunken cheez-its!

i'm a drunken motivational speaker.

pre-gaming it

LOLO got a tattoooo!

best place ever.

stupid hurricanes.

she's intoxicating, soon your favorite drink

2005-10-02T23:36:37Z

what the deuce?!

i think i've been all over Florida since i've bought MY car. coral springs. fort lauderdale. west palm. margate...etc.

"she wanted my love but i gave her the rest of me."
i've been having too many flings lately
i shouldn't let lust get the best of me.

beach: tuesday, thursday, friday.

artsy fartsy.

BRITTANY'S BIRTHDAY:

The Melting Pot...mmm chocolate fondu

it's that crazy metal bed in coral springs.

woot for DD's...not double D b00bz...designated drivers. pervert.

i love jess. SO much.

ashley's house at 2am

fort lauderdale beach at 3am :)

HeLLLOOOO i'm a CAArrrr...

2005, Honda Civic, White <33333

& a night we wont forget for the rest of our lives

2005-09-19T02:05:52Z

i've realized i may not have everything i want right now but i do have everything i need & i'm beyond content with that. it's a good feeling.

i love going to shows & meeting new people.
(&having sleepovers with secret lives courtesy of matthew!)

it's weird but the past doesn't even seem like it ever existed. I saw jeff at the show the other night & i didn't even feel like there were memories. it was like he was just another person, attending the same show as me...just some stranger. I guess it was a relief, a sense of accomplishment. I don't know if what i'm saying is making any sense.

& as non-comforming as it sounds i love myspace. because without it i would not of had that two and a half hour phone conversation with such an awesome boy.

...but tell me what has it ever meant?

FANNY BANDITS!

oh how i wish i meant a little more than the symphony of heavy breathing & the friction of hips

2005-08-22T01:49:12Z

i dont like looking at old pictures...
it reminds me of all the stuff i
for example-

i miss Canada

i miss the neighbor days

i miss winter break and the nake laked

Okay so i don't miss this. but its still hilarious

i miss really bad hair dye jobs.

i miss these funny chiCas

i miss drunken nights at crusH

i miss brooke, kayla, and convertibles.

hah yeah im not gonna lie, i miss that

i miss prom dress shopping

i miss these girls

AND these girls

i miss giving awesome lapdances

i miss this boy

i miss Madelyn shows

lmao. ew. don't miss that night.

i kinda miss matthew's long hair

i miss this stupid boy cuz he's too far away

i miss the beach

i miss that really funny & shirtless night

yeah i'll admit, i miss him too

& i miss him just because he's hot.

if regret was a synonym for miss, i'd say i missed this too

i miss sunsets

& i really miss kite flying days.

i adore boys that bring me these while im working...

they make my day :)

you're tugging at my heartstrings

2005-07-19T16:33:57Z

they call you Mister personality because you're uglY.

ive realized i dont like talking to you
if you can't tell me what i want to hear.
worst quality ever.

party in the mini van...i got my license.
speaking of the mini van
it's so freakin embarrassing to drive you have no idea. haha

i got the cutest text ever..."Madelyn shows aren't the same without you" :D

fort meyers is so much fun. so many cOOl kids. hot emo boYs (omgnut)
i really didn't wanna come home but whateveR nothing i can do now.

i hope im not doing something stupid.

Photoshoots with my brrrother hah

him & his freakin nintendo DS in EVERY picture.

Fort meyers:

its the familllly haha & i look chubby

derrrriickk a kid i met in fort meyerrrs.

more people i met & we went & saw charlie and the yada yada factory

thats our crying face hahahahah

i caught her in action picking her nose aaaaah ahah

day 1 sunset. day 2 sunset. day 3 sunset.

i find some sick pleasure in watching the andy milonakis show haha . love it.

_yoursecret @ 2005-07-10T19:38:00

2005-07-10T23:35:36Z

i need new friends, like bad.

dont forget to remember me

2005-07-08T02:02:59Z

family guy is such a siiick obsession

summer has been eh, okay i suppose.
i can't wait to go to fort meyers for a week
in that sweet ass penthouse my mom rented.
this stupid hurricane better not blow away the hotel!

i absolutely love myspace messages like this:
"Umm yea you win for being the most beautiful girl Ive ever seen
:)

crush tonight wiiith rory & the rest of the world
hahaaaah :X

i haven't seen Jeff in almost a month
& i hate it. but i guess theres nothing i can do.

hell yes for my boobs growing.

mmm date to jackson's ice cream!

hahahah guess who

my birthday girl

hahaha i love this picture

hahaha i couldnt stop laughing.

i love a man that can cook haha

funny half nakey boooys .

i love that kid & our talks.

& i love this kid too. im glad i got to see him :)

i've always been the easy kill

2005-06-29T19:48:36Z

and thats what you get for falling again...

ShesA Disaster x: gosh. i just want to be happy like i was when i was with him
ShesA Disaster x: and if i can find that in another person i'll be content.
xhearmyheartbeat: :-\
xhearmyheartbeat: you can be happy on your own too though
xhearmyheartbeat: cuz if you look for happiness in a guy it wont last
xhearmyheartbeat: =/
ShesA Disaster x: its not looking for happiness in another guy
ShesA Disaster x: its looking to share my happiness with another guy
xhearmyheartbeat: aw that is such a touching thing =/
xhearmyheartbeat: aw oh man.
haha

i love how i still have a reason to smile after all of this.
what a roller coaster of emotions lately.
lies & broken promises.
it makes you realize that the people you thought
would be there for you forever, are now never.
it only hurts because i care(d).

fix this broken heart.
(& i've already got a head start)

we trapped a duck in lindsays house haha

ew.

aaww

:) <333

haaaaaaaha :X

:( :( :( she's such an amazing girl. I hope she gets better.

this is where we both go numb now.

2005-06-26T05:24:11Z

i never do this but im curious.
& believe me i know, curiosity killed the cat.
but i hate cats, so it's okay.
;)

A SECRET.
A MEMORY.
A L0VE N0TE.
A COMPLIMENT.
LYRICS T0 A S0NG.
WHAT Y0U THINK 0F ME.
WHATEVERS 0N Y0UR MIND.
ANYTHING. JUST MAKE IT AN0NYM0US.

i've got a feeling its not the safest place to start.
this heavy breathing, it seems we're better off
b r e a k i n g hearts ♥

i love baths. they give you a whole new outlook on life. haha

_yoursecret @ 2005-06-22T14:55:00

2005-06-22T19:06:52Z

i'm jealous of every single person out there that
has their mommy and daddy to pay for their vehicle.

i guess i'm just in a rush to grow up.

all the things i didnt let affect me before are starting to catch up
and i don't think i've cried this much in a long time.

im really not as strong as i thought i was.

tHank you ROry for last night.

i lied...i miss you a lot.

ignore this.

matthew (bff 4 lyf), hurry up & come home pleasE

2005-06-19T01:22:47Z

it's safe to say i'm lonely

my cell phone is broKen
so i guess i'll just wait patiently for a new one
just like i've been waiting patiently for everything else.
Good things come to those who wait
& that couldn't be farther from the truth.

I get my license soon (just not soon enough)

I've overwhelmed myself with work in hopes of finding my breaKing point.

I love dates at The Melting Pot with awesome chocolate fondu.

~~my back is breaking from this heavy heart~~

_yoursecret @ 2005-05-30T12:22:00

2005-05-30T16:37:04Z

okay just because i need to get this off my chest:

i tried to call you & settle things, see where it went wrong, and talk about everything but you never answered & you never called me back. fine. thats my last effort. don't say you want to talk to me about things & than make no effort to actually do it. I guess it was just a test to our friendship & we failed. but whatever it's cool. over & done. OH & i was so right about him...again.

goodbye
.

tvodotcom: wow thats gonna be wierd, you girls were attached at the hip
tvodotcom: there will never be another hot scene duo
hahahahahhhahahha

its the pain and the sex disguised as innocence

2005-05-09T03:14:41Z

i've been let down by so many people lately
i guess i just have high expectations
but whatever, that doesn't matter.

beach every weekend with the awesome neighbor - i've turned black.

i strongly believe in fate.

& other than the minor details...i'm happy.
i have an awesome boyfriend who makes me smile & laugh every single second i'm with him.

M.Erika.B's prom was fun. Matthew looked very handsome, i must admit.

USHsinger: all charter girls get 561914011 comments to any post they make

CRAZY NIGHTS WITH THE GIRLS:

laaaaaaaaapdance! haha

<333

PROMPROMPROMPROM:

muh dresssss

Jamba before prom. you know how we do.

Matt made my corsageee :)

_yoursecret @ 2005-05-05T00:10:00

2005-05-05T04:13:19Z

i just want to know where it went wrong.

you know you taste so good

2005-04-13T03:03:28Z

blah
fuck you (plural) for putting me in THAT position, not cool
i bought my dress for matt's prom. it's hot.
if you call me & i don't answer the first 30 times, take it as a hint kthnx.
BOO for working on saturday - i really wanna go to the show!
oh yeah, i work at power smoothie now haha.

& i got my hair cut:

i love this feeling. you have no idea how happy you make me.
<333333333

to say i've been stressed lately is an understatement.

OH & can't forget this:
check out the picture on alex hernandez's myspace comments:
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=3441301&Mytoken=20050412200611
that is, if myspace ever stops being a douche.

everything looks perfect from far away

2005-03-28T20:30:53Z

So - i kinda miss LJ haha

I can't wait for a really awesome local show
& I wanna see The Ring Two, is it any good?
SOMEONE BRING ME WENDY'S AND THE MOVIE CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL!!!
Spring break was lots of fun, for the most part (minus THAT)
there's a few details i'll leave out, but definitely amazing
SUCKS I only saw Mari & Company ONCE though.
Beach everyday. Wow, i<3thebeach.

"I'm taking a chance, this could be different.
This could be all I'm waiting for."

Mmm, i like pictures (&comments!)

;) <333

-------------
i don't know? he's awesome. the end.

please let me DEVALUE whats inside you

2005-03-23T23:48:46Z

Britt & I rented a hotel room on Hollywood Beach for Friday night
Let me know if you want to come (&perhaps get crunk)
303 2387

spring break just keeps getting better.

[[ ♥ ]]