| Well, That Is the Default Setting |
[26 Jul 2008|02:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015561.html College girl #1: So I think I'll just get the whole thing waxed, so that the next time I go, it just won't hurt that much.
College girl #2: I don't get it.
College girl #1: Like, I'll be hairy the first time, so it will hurt, and then when I go back, I'll be like: "Oh, that wasn't as painful as the first time."
College girl #2: Shit, shut up! You're so loud! Now that guy knows you have a hairy vagina.
--Union Square Train Station
Overheard by: the trainman
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[26 Jul 2008|09:22am] |
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now you know me as everyone else knows me.
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| So She's at Least As Much Of a Lady As Cruella De Vil |
[26 Jul 2008|10:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015559.html (cop pulls a drunk hipster chick in faux fur off the train for littering)
Drunk hipster girl: What? I can't believe he just fucking did that! That wasn't even her lollipop!
Drunk hipster guy: I know, man. I feel like such an asshole. Like I didn't even do anything.
Drunk hipster girl: Like seriously, how can he just arrest her? She's a lady! (yelling) she was wearing fur!
--L Train
Overheard by: Bewildered
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| So Crispy and Cheesy |
[26 Jul 2008|08:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015558.html Girl: I think there's a pretty good seafood restaurant around here. What kind of fish do you like?
Boyfriend: I really like goldfish.
--E14th & 3rd
Overheard by: one order of koi, please
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| Ten Bucks Says He's Making Water Balloons |
[26 Jul 2008|06:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015557.html Hipster passing large, bald man blocking doorway: Excuse me.
Large, bald man: What are you in a hurry for?
(hipster points to condoms and goes to the counter to pay for them)
Large, bald man: You're totally on a condom run!
(hipster smiles and glances back to the man)
Large, bald man: Did you pull out of that shit?
Hipster: Nope, just having marathon sex.
Large, bald man: I'd high-five you, but I know where those hands have been.
(hipster leaves, laughing)
--Deli, 7th Ave & Christopher St
Overheard by: a
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| I Put a Missed Connection on Craigslist, But You Never Responded |
[26 Jul 2008|02:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015555.html Female African American police officer: Don't you remember I was the one who kicked you out of Yankee stadium?
Hobo: I don't recall this. I don't recall this.
Female African American police officer: Yep. It was me. I kicked your ass, I did.
--Avenue Q
Overheard by: innocent bystander
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| Don't Ask Questions You Won't Believe the Answers to |
[26 Jul 2008|12:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015554.html (man and woman chatting, he has a slight pot belly)
Woman: Do you work out?
Man: Yes, I do, actually.
Woman (in disbelief): Really?
--Elevator 2, Penn Plaza
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| When I Chain You to the Treadmill Tonight, I'll Be Doing It with Love |
[25 Jul 2008|10:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015553.html Middle-aged woman on her cell: Where are you? Don't get the pizza, it's too many calories. Just get a salad or something. Well, I only say that because I had a nightmare last night where you got big. It was awful. Oh, honey, come on I love you, stop.
I'm just saying, if you had a dream that a building was collapsing and a guy was about to walk into it, wouldn't you say "stop"? Well, then we agree.
--Pax Wholesome Foods, 6th & 40th
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| Shocking That the MTA Hasn't Figured Out a Way to Make Money Off of This |
[25 Jul 2008|08:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015552.html Man, watching display for track announcement: Oh, look, it says "Stand by"! Here it comes! Whaddaya think it'll be? I'm betting on 9.
Woman: Oh, I say 10. What do you think, mom?
Older woman: Er, 11.
Man: How about you, Fred*?
Older man, not very interested: 5, I guess.
Man: 9 comes up a lot. I take this train all the time and it's almost always 9. I'll give you 2 to 1 odds on 5, though. 2 to 1, Fred*.
(older man ignores him)
Man: Come on 9! Damn it, now that guy's standing right in front of it. Do you believe that? Down in front! Go 9!
--Penn Station
Overheard by: Rose Fox
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| I Mean, What's Worse Than an Incestuous Generation Gap? |
[25 Jul 2008|06:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015551.html Blonde: Wait, she fucked her uncle? That's so wrong.
Redhead: He's only, like, three years older than her.
Blonde: Oh, that uncle? That's not so bad then. I'd fuck him if he was my uncle.
--NYU Classroom
Overheard by: sitting behind them, laughing my ass off
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| But That's What You Said About Cornell! |
[25 Jul 2008|02:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015547.html Older man (looking at the Chrysler building): Look, there's the Empire State Building!
Teenage girl: What do they do in there? I mean, what is it?
Older man: It's a college.
--42nd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Eric
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| And Is Lucky the Leprechaun a Prima Donna in Real Life? |
[25 Jul 2008|12:00pm] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015546.html (Irish service elevator operator is showing new guy the ropes, delivery Thug walks in)
Operator, with Irish brogue: What's up?
Thug: 11 C, man. (thug looks at the new guy)
Thug: You new man? Yo, I gotta ask you a question, do you drink beer?
New guy: Yup.
Thug: You drink Guinness?
New guy: Yeah, sometimes.
Thug: Alright, I gotta know, is the Guinness here different from the Guinness back home?
New guy: I am a Long Island Jew.
Thug: Shit, for real? I thought everybody who worked here was from Ireland.
(thug gets off the elevator to make delivery)
Operator: You should've asked him if it's different buying food in a supermarket instead of having to chase and kill it with a spear.
--E 77th St
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| Where Fox Does Its Recruiting for Moment of Truth |
[25 Jul 2008|08:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015544.html (two guys coming out of the bar bathroom)
Guy #1: I'm taking another shot.
Guy #2: What have you got to lose? Pride? Fuck pride.
Guy #1: You're right man.
--Bar, 35th & 3rd
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| At Least Our Nipples Are Perky! |
[25 Jul 2008|06:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015543.html (at the freezer section)
Dumb blond mom: Jesus, why's it gotta be so cold in here?
Dumb blond daughter: Oh god, I know! Like it's not cold enough outside.
--PathMart, Forest Ave
Overheard by: Ben
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| Well, It Is the Number Two Train |
[25 Jul 2008|02:00am] |
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http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/015541.html (a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let's get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What's the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!
--2 Train
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