May 19th, 2004

Subject: Update on Current Status Time: 01:29 pm Current Mood: determined

I have nothing of note to report. ( //The remainder of this post is locked.// )

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May 14th, 2004

Time: 09:16 am Current Mood: determined

I have recently been asked about the Illyria situation. I prefer to not discuss that subject. //The remainder of this post is locked// We fight. We do it because it is right. We do it because it is the only way to make an impact on the course of current events. I am relieved to discover that Angel has not in fact been corrupted, nor has he reverted to his amoral persona. He has set events in motion that give us a chance to do real harm to the evil powers in this region. We finally have an opportunity to damage the Senior Partners, if only for a brief moment. That chance is worth taking, whatever the price. Therefore, we fight. We fight because we must. We fight because this is who we are. We fight because it is all we have left.

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May 5th, 2004

Time: 10:34 pm Current Mood: morose

In theory, I should update this journal on recent events, considering what I have recently discovered regarding Illyria's abilities. Tonight is not the night to do so.

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April 29th, 2004

Subject: Status Update Time: 02:14 pm Current Mood: indescribable

IIlyria's abilities have been curtailed. Time shifts, dimensional portals... these are tools that she no longer has in her repertoire. Although this means that the continental shelf remains intact and that this building still stands, I must wonder if we will wish that her talents remained, as they are quite powerful and have done more good than harm since she... arrived. As an example, there is additional news of significance. Illyria also devised a way to rescue Gunn from his confinement. Prior to the event stated above, I simply explained his situation to her, which resulted in her opening a portal. She returned shortly thereafter with Gunn in tow. We do indeed owe her for this boon. Another example: I have learned that I would have been killed yesterday in a separate time line, along with several others. It is true that Illyria would have directly caused the deaths, but that was due to an understandable misunderstanding. She and Angel - to whom I was not truthful due to necessity - learned what I intended. To save her, and save much of the city in the process. To do what had to be done. I am still at somewhat of a loss regarding Gunn since his return. I have considered an apology to him for my actions, but what can one say after an act such as that? It is not an action forgivable with mere words. Nor do I think that forgiveness is fully merited in this instance. I should also briefly state that I had a fascinating conversation with the new liaison, which was most illuminating. Overall, I have realized that it has been my work with Illyria that has kept me functional these past weeks. It is a task that is necessary for me at present. I do not know what I would have done and would continue to do without that focus. For the most part, I have come to terms with who she is not. My work with her is an anchor for me; my research regarding the current apocalypse often overwhelms me, as the prophecies and writings have not coalesced into a theory or plan of action and the books taunt me with their symbols whose meanings I understand and yet the messages elude me... ... I apologize. Where was I? Illyria. Yes. I admit that I betrayed her when I hoped to bring back... the prior occupant of her form, but what I did yesterday was to save her. I think that a part of her may resent her continued existence as less than she was. I can understand this. However, I am grateful that she remains, for more reasons than I choose to express in a public forum.

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April 26th, 2004

Subject: A Small Concern Time: 02:51 pm Current Mood: numb

I am disturbed by Illyria's new interest in having a pet. She is demonstrating great pertinacity on the subject. While I feel that this desire is in general a positive matter regarding any residual humanity that might remain - as unlikely as that is - I do have to question her choice of subjects. My solace in this matter is that Spike has no desire to fulfill that role. I think he realizes that any 'pet' of hers would not survive overlong. At times, I must admit that I do wonder why she has not caused more damage to me, given that she has had ample opportunity. Of course, my methodology and Spike's methodology differ greatly.

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April 23rd, 2004

Current Music: O Mimi, tu piu non torni - La Bohème, Giacomo Puccini Subject: A Return to the Written Word Time: 01:53 pm Current Mood: numb

While I do appreciate the fact that Harmony followed through with my request for getting my LiveJournal back into what amounts to a functional status, I did not expect to have an entirely new journal waiting for me when I arrived this morning. No matter; this journal will serve as well as the previous one did. ( A brief explanation regarding my absence. )

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