:: kat :: ([info]_wirehead_) wrote,
@ 2007-02-22 11:30:00
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Current mood:heartbroken
Entry tags:story

There, but for the grace of god...
I left the house this morning, already slightly late for work. For no reason that I can relate, I decided to walk up the other side of the street. I crossed the street, and hadn't gone ten steps before an orange-and-white cat materialized from an alley and ran up to me.

He could have been Naranjito's brother. He was slightly bigger, his face slightly longer, but he had almost the same coloring, even down to the white patches on his face, neck, belly, and paws. He was more solid orange than Naran, with stripes only evident on his tail.

He ran right up to me just as if he knew me and was being super-affectionate, climbing on me and purring. I could tell that he was hungry, and sick; there were places on his back where his fur was all patchy, and he had some kind of sores near his rectum. A woman who was walking by stopped, and after seeing the situation, went back to her house to get some food for him. We talked about the sad situation of these feral cat colonies. Her name was Linda.

He ate ravenously. After Linda left, I petted him for a few minutes, noticing how he was shivering in the cold, how he cringed away from loud noises and other humans who passed by. I couldn't bear to just leave him there, but there was nothing else I could do. I knew I couldn't keep him and that he wouldn't be adoptable; if he turned out to really be sick, it was likely he'd just be put down. And I knew, moreover, that even if I did rescue this one, he would only be replaced by another unwanted cat. The feral colonies can't be eradicated; they replenish their numbers to the maximum sustainable. Even if you trap and remove all the cats, others move in from overfull colonies somewhere nearby. However many you save, however much you do, there will always be more of them, untold numbers: living short, miserable lives in the street, and dying there, unremarked.

I tried to say something flippant to him as I left, like "take care of yourself" or "let me know if you need anything"; the sort of thing I always say to the strays I meet, because I feel like every stray's mommy. But this time, the words stuck in my throat. I knew I was leaving him to his death, if not right away, then sometime soon. I couldn't have been more broken-hearted if it was my own child I'd been leaving there, shivering on the sidewalk.

Now tell me. There is justice. In the world.

  "I know this," Isaac Penn asserted. "I've seen such things far more often than you have. You forget that I was a poorer man than you have ever been, for a longer time than you have yet lived. I had a father and a mother, and brothers and sisters, and they all died young, too soon. I know all these things. Do you think I'm a fool? In The Sun we bring injustices to the attention of the public, and suggest sensible means to correct inequities where they serve no purpose. I realize that there is too much needless and cruel suffering. But you, you don't seem to understand that these people whom you profess to champion have, in their struggles, compensations."
  "What compensations?"
  "Their movements, passions, emotions; their captured bodies and captured senses are directed with no less certainty than the microscopic details of the seasons, or the infinitesimal components of the city's great and single motion. They are, in their seemingly random actions, part of a plan. Don't you know that?"
  "I see no justice in that plan."
  "Who said," lashed out Isaac Penn, "that you, a man, can always perceive justice? Who said that justice is what you imagine? Can you be sure that you know it when you see it, that you will live long enough to recognize the decisive thunder of its occurrence, that it can be manifest within a generation, within ten generations, within the entire span of human existence? What you are talking about is common sense, not justice. Justice is higher and not as easy to understand -- until it presents itself in unmistakable splendor. The design of which I speak is far above our understanding. But we can sometimes feel its presence.
  "No choreographer, no architect, engineer, or painter could plan more thoroughly and subtly. Every action and every scene has its purpose. And the less power one has, the closer he is to the great waves that sweep through all things, patiently preparing them for the approach of a future signified not by simple human equity (a child could think of that), but by luminous and surprising connections that we have not imagined, by illustrations terrifying and benevolent -- a golden age that will show not what we wish, but some bare awkward truth upon which rests everything that ever was and everything that ever will be. There is justice in the world, Peter Lake, but it cannot be had without mystery. We try to bring it about without knowing exactly what it is, and only touch upon it. No matter, for all the flames and sparks of justice throughout all time reach to invigorate unseen epochs -- like engines whose power glides on hidden lines to upwell against the dark in distant cities unaware."


-- Mark Helprin, from "Winter's Tale"


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[info]damion
2007-02-22 05:34 pm UTC (link)
I only just made this connection, but my sister was in the same class in school as the daughter of Mark Helprin.

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[info]aisa0
2007-02-22 06:10 pm UTC (link)
i recently watched a movie called the constant gardener. one of the sub threads in the movie is remarkably similar to what you've expressed here. the two main characters argue over how and when to help, and they have this conversation together: "we can't save them all/another one will just take it's place" "yes, but we can help *this* one."

in the movie, there is a shadowy figure/organization that if not responsible for the situation, is profiting from it. the plight of this poor cat seems more to be the result of the particular way the world is put together, instead of someone directly benefiting from its misery.

but then i do wonder, is the world unjust by design, or are the cards stacked in such a way that we aren't aware or able to find that justice.

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[info]killbox
2007-02-22 06:47 pm UTC (link)
but then i do wonder, is the world unjust by design, or are the cards stacked in such a way that we aren't aware or able to find that justice.


I tend to think things are stacked so that the natural order more of it, that is just the thing that makes Justice and kindness and goodness such a precious treasure.

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[info]_wirehead_
2007-02-22 07:35 pm UTC (link)
"yes, but we can help *this* one."

yes. and that is how i feel about my two, the ones that i *did* take home.

i'm thinking of trying to set up a feral cat rescue organization for my neighborhood, but it's a little bit daunting. i definitely feel i should be doing more.

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[info]_namo_
2007-02-22 06:36 pm UTC (link)
*hugs*

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[info]solo_beckett
2007-02-22 07:46 pm UTC (link)
You can only do what you can, the warm days will come soon and I am sure you will see the little guy again, It's not a good life for them but it's the only one they know so try not feel too bad,

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[info]helixnine
2007-02-22 08:11 pm UTC (link)
Of course there is justice in the world. What you're looking for is sentimentality in nature and that doesn't exist. Justice, however, the world is full of. I don't know why you humans seem to think that, just because you can empathize with something and that something suffers, there is no justice.
In the end, at least you have hands.

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[info]ferrousoxide
2007-02-22 08:41 pm UTC (link)
Fuck that.

If Albuquerque can have a no-kill rescue organisation in town...if they can have people who not only routinely take in cats which are not only sick but *ancient*, NY must have one. This friendly little boy could easily find a home compared to ones that are actually feral and afraid of humans. This one...there *is* someone who would scoop him up, take him home, and ferret him off to the vet--no euthanasia even remotely possible.

Seriously. The justice is this: google your local cat rescue people. Tell them where this kitty is. They may ask you to try to fetch him for them, and, at this point, it may be a trial or even impossible since you left him there. But phone them. If you can get him, i'd wager there's at least one group who will treat his problems (if whatever he has is treatable...sounds to me like mange, allergies, or something pretty trivial that outside cats have). Even if he's got FeLeuk or FIV, i'll bet they have some soul who has other positive cats who will have him.

I've worked with 3 rescuce organisations in 3 different states. They're all...well...made up of crazy cat people, but be damend if they don't all work. This Saturday when i was volunteering with Pet Haven, they had 4 adoptions out of just less than 20 cats, which is pretty good. And they had 4 more "private" adoptions after the show.

Mind--one of the cats has an issue with eating things he shouldn't and has had *2* surgeries in 5 months to remove things from his intestines. The rescue group paid for that. With the exception of imminently fatal issues, rescue groups do fund treatments. You don't need to start your own. Just, get involved. It's worthwhile. Bartlett, Velcra, and Taran would likely purr in agreement--and if Zephyr, Veruca and Veruca's brother had made it, i'm sure they would too.

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[info]_wirehead_
2007-02-22 08:51 pm UTC (link)
yeah. the main problem at the moment is that i have nowhere to *put* another cat, not even for a few days until i could take him down to a rescue.

i *have* made the decision to get more involved, though: http://community.livejournal.com/inwood/41115.html

:)

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[info]sanctuarymoon
2007-02-22 09:26 pm UTC (link)
I got to work the Toy Fair this year (and have been offline a lot of the time b/c of a lot of late nights the past couple of weeks and I lost my phone, too) BUT my point is that while there, I talked to the founder of this plush company that I had been trying to track down. And it turns out she's a crazy cat lady, too, but an awesome and practical one at that. She's done lots of rescues and stuff (she's based on the West coast) but her big thing was: trap, spay/neuter, release. She gave me some insane statistic that I'm sure is right, that only a handful of unspayed/neutered cats in a neighborhood can make, like, thousands of cats in only 7 years. Thousands that will get sick and die on the streets. I mentioned the half-dozen or so feral cats that liked to hang in our yard and she told me how trapping and treating the feral ones was a huge help in preventing further suffering. Apparently vets will clip the ears of cats you've helped already so you can tell at a distance...she really wanted me to get involved in this, she was so passionate. Her group on the West coast ropes in volunteers to do this over a weekend, so I'm sure some groups in NYC do this as well.

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[info]chaos5023
2007-02-23 07:45 am UTC (link)
i'm somehow certain i'm going to regret saying this, but... the idea of spaying/neutering feral cats *because* the cats who will otherwise be born will get sick and die on the streets bugs me. i'd take living miserable and dying miserable over not being born at all any day; it doesn't seem to me that we're doing the unborn cats any favors. i don't doubt there are lots of good reasons to spay/neuter ferals, but the idea of doing it out of compassion for the cats who we're preventing from being born really troubles me.

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[info]_wirehead_
2007-02-23 02:23 pm UTC (link)
it is the same logic behind spaying/neutering house cats. not so much sympathy for the unborn as the recognition that the world is saturated with unwanted cats, many of whom are euthanized in shelters because they can't find a home.

your comment about taking a miserable life over not being born bothers me... we're not talking about abortion, you know. you realize, right, that if you really think that way, you'd have to be against birth control (in humans), too. i don't see efforts to keep the population to a supportable level as denying anything to the hypothetical unborn.

anyway, some of the other reasons to spay and neuter ferals include that it stops a lot of their destructive/nuisance behavior (yowling, territorital pissing, etc) which would prompt neighbors to call animal control on the lot of them... keeps them healthier because they fight less and transmit fewer diseases... that sort of thing.

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[info]chaos5023
2007-02-23 02:57 pm UTC (link)
i don't disagree with any of what you're saying. (i appear to have gotten a good start on the being-utterly-misunderstood that's the reason i knew i'd regret posting that.) it's that the language [info]sanctuarymoon related from her encounter sounded like it was specifically about saving cats from getting sick and dying on the street by having them not be born.

i'm not against birth control, abortion, or spaying/neutering cats. it's the idea of pretending one is doing them solely as a favor to the unborn that i'm weirded out by.

either it's a meant-to-be-pretty pretense, which is kinda gross (if totally unexceptional), or it's not, making it a sort of compassion that says "I can't stand to see you suffer, so I'm going to make it so you don't exist". which is just fucked up.

population management so the world sucks less for those in it, whether on small scale or large? totally down with that. no problem. i'd like honesty about the fact that it's done for the sake of those of us left in it, though.

in all likelihood, i'm overreacting to a happenstance of language, and this isn't even what was meant by the woman [info]sanctuarymoon was talking to. it just stuck in my head enough to be bothering me some time later, so i put it out there.

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[info]sanctuarymoon
2007-02-25 04:36 am UTC (link)
Okay, maybe I'm being dense but I honestly have no idea at the distinction that you are driving at.

I believe what I was trying to convey was that, according to one point of view of an experienced animal-rescuer that I find very persuasive, if you love cats and don't want to see them suffer but do not have the resources to rescue them off the street and adopt them into your home, then the next best thing, the most HUMANE thing to do is to spay/neuter as many as you can, even if you have to release them afterwards. Because that's what responsible pet owners do. Since street cats don't have responsible pet owners, then it's up to those who want to prevent suffering to step in and help. I was trying to convey my surprise and discovering that that there are ways to help the situation and to help animals even if, for example, you live in a small apartment and can't adopt a cat, because this tactic as a way to help the situation had not even occured to me before this woman suggested it.

And at first I thought, "well, that's what a responsible pet owner would do but why would I bother? what difference would that make, really?" until she told me about the "thousands and thousands" statistic. So if my neighbors and I got the half-dozen cats in our neighborhood spayed/neutered, and that means we'd prevent thousands and thousands of cats being born and suffering in the next 7 years, most of which will die horrible painful deaths anyway, whether run over by cars, attacked by other animals, frozen to death, being poisoned by cat-haters or licking anti-freeze, etc.? Well, I'm totally down with that.

So that IS "population management so the world sucks less for those in it." I don't see how it's anything else.

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[info]chaos5023
2007-02-26 11:12 pm UTC (link)
yeah. probably the thing i was originally reacting to doesn't matter for any practical purpose.

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[info]ferrousoxide
2007-02-23 03:50 am UTC (link)
Seems like a good thing. Let me know if there's anything i can help out with--i've worked with a few cat rescue places and know a bit about how to find funding and do organisational stuff.

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[info]hireath
2007-03-01 11:13 am UTC (link)
Go you!
What a bunch of fuzzy animal suckers we are =)

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[info]_wirehead_
2007-03-01 02:05 pm UTC (link)
it's true. they run right up to me because they can smell a sucker from blocks away. :)

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[info]hireath
2007-03-01 02:28 pm UTC (link)
It's like it's printed on our foreheads in writing that only animals can see. It's amazing how the little buggers seek me out sometimes.

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[info]hireath
2007-03-01 02:30 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you're thinking about working to help rescue cats. Even catching ferals and bringing them in to be spayed is a huge help to the whole population. There are many ways in which you can help. I think about volunteering at the animal shelters all the time, but it is more work than I can handle.
You can do it, tho. Yay you ;)

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The Searching.
[info]brekex
2007-03-01 09:33 am UTC (link)
I have added you to my friends list. The circumstances for having done so are as follows...

Sometimes I search. Because sometimes the searching is what its all about, not necessarily the finding. Besides, I have been in the mood to find somebody random. Because sometimes the finding, too, can be nice. Somebody outside of my sphere, so to speak, which means that friends of friends would not do. I had not "found" anybody for some time.

I noted that "limbic resonance", one of my expressed interests (as opposed to my countless unexpressed interests) was highlighted, meaning that others out there also shared this interest and opted to express it. There were no "others", but instead one: you.

I like your interests. You are a storyteller, this I like very much. To read a random somebody I know nothing about, save for what is expressed in the userinfo, would be a good adventure; to slowly construct that somebody in the mind by their words alone.

I did not wish to do this inadvertently, as I feel that would be rude. And though many unfortunate adjectives may justifiably be applied to me, I do not believe "rude" is one of them.

Please do let me know if this bothers you and I shall remove you from my friends list.

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Re: The Searching.
[info]_wirehead_
2007-03-01 02:06 pm UTC (link)
not at all -- welcome, and if you find something meaningful in the stories i tell, i'm glad of it.

i'm curious about the limbic resonance thing -- did you read "A General Theory of Love", or come across that idea somewhere else?

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Re: The Searching.
[info]brekex
2007-03-01 10:13 pm UTC (link)
Yes I did read A General Theory of Love. It was recommended by a close friend in lieu of my general... disdain for iatric approaches to the human psyche. This is one of my general faults. I have many, but they take time... one at a time.

My area is more Mythology and Archetypal Psychology than Psychiatry and such empirical disciplines.

We each speak our own languages, given our experiences, our personalities, our Weltanschauung. Call it love, alterity, aiki, agape, otherness, or limbic resonance. The error lies in believing that our personal language is the truth, when what it is is our idiosyncratic expression of the unutterable. Because of our own personal lexicon, we cannot sympathize with the other, we war upon the other. This is the root of folly.

So some people are very rational, they need that empirical approach... and A general Theory of Love elucidated the obvious for those who live that particular language... though it did take ample opportunities to bash analytical approaches to exactly the same results.

But it is not for me to judge such matters. We are all just describing the same images as seen from our particular angles.

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