The Rationalization

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 23:22:30 GMT

I think i've turned into a whore.
I'm not really sure when it happened, but it deffinatly has. And what worries me most about this situation is that i don't care all that much. Obviously i'd prefer not to be. I'd prefer to be in love and to snuggle up to someone. but being a whore is preferable to being alone constantly... well that's depressing.

The reason i bring this up is that today i got a call from Emma (as in Easter holiday emma) at about 2 saying her flight got laid over and that she'd be in the country for about 5 hours and that she could be in 20min if i could.
So i went and it was fun.
... I really don't think international bootycalls are normal ...

heyho i wasn't doing anything else. should probably have done some work today... huh, yeah never come to see me as a doctor i didn't do any work at uni.

hmmmm... me go sleep now. See you all soon.
xxx

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 23:56:38 GMT

hello,
It's been a while. uni is so hectic. and i am reading everyones posts but i either have nothing to say or no time to say it. sometimes both.

Uni's getting a bit strange now. maybe i'm overthinking it. or maybe i'm just hormonal or emotional or something. but it often feels like people are doing stuff without me. And its silly cause i know that even though they are doing things without me it's not cause they want to be without me its cause they want to do the stuff. if htat made any sense. It's just stuff like discussing houses next year and the people who now i would probably consider sharing with are all teamed up and saying they're going to live together. it doesn't really bother me cause i'm almost certain it'll change by next year but it does irritate me that i can't join in the conversation - if you see what i mean. omg i sound so teenage. but there it is.
I also started missing home. not really home home cause i'm quite happy here but i just miss people who i was properly friends with - like people who really knew me and i didn't really have to explain myself to. and i really missed my mum on friday but i think that was just cause i was ill and chucking everywhere and no matter how old you are when your ill you want your mummy.

But even that isn't what is bothering me. what is bothering me is really stupid.
There's this guy i know and think is the most lovely wonderful person ever (and i think that he's really pretty and i thought it was really obvious but aparently i'm weird in finding him attractive)
Anyway, he's gay. well he says he's bi but i'm fairly sure he's gay because he's comletely hung up on this guy he slept with who now has a boyfriend and he blatently looks at men more than women and he wants a relationship with men and just fucking with girls AND the only reason he says he's bi is that he thinks homosexuality is wrong.
Now this guy is a complete mess - well at least he thinks he is. cause he's 20 and he claims he doesn't know what he wants in life and what he wants to do etc. but i still can't fathom how he thinks that he's unnatural and wrong. It just doesn't make sense to me. I mean everyone had that moment when they worked out that they liked the same sex that "omg am i normal? what the fuck? why me? what the hell is wrong with me?" but i could never feel i was unnatural. and it really upsets me to think that he's so unhappy about this - don't get me wrong he doesn't seem unhappy a lot of the time but i get the feeling it really bugs him. What's worse is that the only time he talks about it is when we're alone and drunk and to be honest when he's drunk i normally am and you know what i'm like drunk - not vvery helpful about anything.

At anyrate. It's not even that that bugs me - it bugs me that it bugs me. Why is it any of my business? God i'm so nosey. why do i have to ponder otehr people's issues? i do have my own - like the fact that i'm either a whore or alone. but the fact that he thinks that about himself really upsets me. cause he shouldn't. because he's lovely and one of the nicest people i've ever met and it's silly and the world sucks ass.

people suck.
that is my conclusion.

Other than that though life is wonderful and amazing as ever. work is hard but owrth it. i can't do imaging though so i'll have to go to Africa or somewhere where they can't afford xrays and MRIs.

yeah so now that's all off my chest.
EVERYONE COME VISIT ME :D
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Thu, 04 Oct 2007 23:37:19 GMT

I have flu. which is not all that suprising if you consider the weakened state of my body the last few weeks.

So its freshers fortnight but what they dont tell you till you get here is that lectures run all the way through freshers. So first two nights were the weekend and fun down the pub and the SU. Then monday enrollment when they steal your blood and make you pay them. but also freshers fair and i am actually on every mailing list. In the evening though it was a Flourescent party and watching Uni challenge (first time we were on tv w00t!!). It's just so much fun. Cause Georges is so small all the higher years get to know you as well.
Then tuesday family quiz night. which was a little dull untill the challenge section and cause i'm the youngest in my family i had to do it which is like 4 strawpeedos. my liver is going to start aching soon.
Then Wednesday it was meant to be sports tryouts but i just curled up in bed. I missed the social in the eve as well - but my flat mate went paralytic cause she drank so much and then didn't respond and they couldn't find a pulse so she had to be in A&E till like 4 in the morning. Luckily our SU is actually in the hospital. Apparently all of the older years seemed to think it quite a normal occurance.
Tonight a couple of us just sat in the common room with takeaway. everyone else went to the multicultural dinner but we couldn't be arsed.
tomorrows Toga&Tequila party which should be good, but i think body shots sound a bit frightening.
Also a little frightened as all my family say that here it doesn't ease up after freshers - it is a constant drink and work athon. still it's all good at the moment just wish my flu would go away.
Also have to do some work. This whole term is like self assessment and then in Feb they actually assess us which i may fail. still at least the work is interesting, it's just finding the time to do it between being plastered and being ill.

Hope you all are having as much fun as me :D
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Tue, 25 Sep 2007 21:10:20 GMT

So the last few days have been super fun if a little dorky.

Saturday i went into town and got a photo and wrote a check to send to st Georges for my rooms. I have a place ot live!! yay!! then i spent the day burning my school work. Which took SO long. Seriously i didn't expect it to take over an hour and it literally took 6. scary. but there was a buge pile. and i have photos of both Blake and my physics book and a couple of chemistry papers bursting into flames.

Anyway by the time i was finished Hattie had turned up and we spent ALL NIGHT watching QAF. it's SOOOO good. (see later rant in this post).

Then Saturday we went paintballing. Which was uber fun even though i cane now because i am weak and my legs aren't used to the crouch and run position. Also i had had no sleep and 5 cups of coffee so my aim was shit and i think i shot 5 people the whole day. And the boys were really frightneing as they were so trying to be hard and crude. saying stuff like "well the cunt came up to me so i shot him point blank init". yuck men.

Anyway then we came home and showered (yay!!for showers!!) and then watched all of QAF S5!!!

OMG how can people not love this programme. I know that at times the acting isreally shitty and it does have tres shmalz moments but AIAPGBWBGWRPI!!!! is sooo fucking cute!!! seriously!!!
I'm such a sucker for what the writers want you to do as well cause i adore Brian/justin. I hated them at first but it is soooo sweet at the end. But strangly not that upsetting when Justin like fades away because it's so blatently the best thing that could happen because now Justin will be a great artist and he won't resent brian and as they are soulmates they'll get back together later. (omg stop talking about characters like they are real people). Also Brain as a luvydovy who wants to cuddle is just too hillarious.
I'm saddened that Emmet didnt end up with Drew because they were cute and Emm deserves the perfect husband. but i'm glad Ted gets Blake because they are the best couple ever!!
Also love Deb/policeman that's just cute. and Ben/Micheal are like the happy couple. yay!! plus i love hunter - such a good character.

I really like the storylines these 2 series as well, although i think my fav series is S4 rather than 5. The slow breakdown of Brians perfection is really upsetting but necessary. The only thing i didn't like is the way the bomb like magically fixed everyones relationships. it kinda worked for b/j. but ben/hunter it was just a bit "we need a happy ending now" same with the lessos. it was like "we almost died everything is forgiven". Not that the bomb wasnt brilliantly moving. i'm so sad Dusty died D:
Anyway now for rankings jus for fun. goes from fav to least fav:
>Character: Ted, Brian, Deb, Ben, Emmet, Blake, Mel, Vic, Hunter, Daph, Ethan (iknow not these seasons but he is love), Michael, Linds
>Pairing: T/Bl, Br/J, Ben/Mich, M/L, Deb/Carl

all i have to say is YAY for QAF!!!
but sadly all over now D: now we must turn to Prison Break. Sadly i do not have Skyone.

Anyway Monday i went down to my grandads which was nice. Bit worried about him though. He's really lonely. he's really together ... i just wish he'd join a club or something.
and today i went to Grannys. Who's just come back from a fabbo time in Sidmouth, which is nice.

so i've seen rosie's slides of Mongol 3 times now. they are very good ... just not that good.

Rest of the week is spent packing me thinks. I'm off on Saturday :S

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:40:57 GMT

people should not let me drink and then talk. mainly cause i don't really remember what i've said exactly but it was probably a load crap knowing how i am when i'm drunk.

anyway, reason me being drunk is prominent in my mind as i'm still feeling the after effects. not badly. but still.

So last night was reeeeeeeeally fun. Went up to london with Louise. We went to soho ... there are like no dyke clubs. and GAY is really small and a bit strange. It's lined with video screens and they had the videos of like Madona singing Evita, BillyPiper and Hairspray. very odd. and there was no one dancing just people standing watching said screens. So we only stayed there for one drink.
we then wandered around a bit more trying to find Candy Bar. eventually gave up and got a ricshaw. not that that guy knew where he was going bu we took an entertaining route round the same block 3 times. All right with me cause we kept passing the Aston vanquish which was oh so pretty (black with dark tan leather interior and mahog dash). anyway eventually got to Candy bar and it was closed .... grrr.
So basically we gave up and went to Zoo Bar. which was hillarious cause this guy kept basically humping Louise and his friend who had very perculiar dance moves. But there was this girl dancing on the bar and she was reeeeeeeeeeeally good at dancing. but she was wearing a top as a dress and very little else. At any rate then there was much drinking. and i don't think i should have had shooters. still drink is good. And my new mission in life is to make Louise like beer. it's a good drink that people should like. run away from the double vodka and coke. bleugh.
Anyway then we walked back towards Waterloo. Ate food from shop. played on swings. i like swings except mine was really squeeky.
Got train home in the morning.

Now i really must clean my room.... meh. and i have blisters, painful blisters. feel sorry for me.
but don't feel too sorry cause i have amazing friends like Hattie who will bring me pretty series of QAF and Lanu who hold Jensen Ackles videoooooos.
I love my friends. :D and their video collection XD

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Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:23:13 GMT

I feel i should post just to get it over and done with. I probably wont very much any more as i'm going to uni soon.
The last couple of weeks have been a bit hellish though.

My nan died on the 6th September at four minutes past midnight. I was down in worthing (as i have been since my last post) and woke to hear my mum crying so i went down to comfort (cause sadly by this point it wasn't an unusual occurance so i didn't think anything of it). I got downstairs and my mum said "she's gone". I went and made tea (because that is honestly the only thing to do in that situation). Both grandad and mum were with her because it was at the switchover point of "the night shift". apparently it wasn't at all nasty she just breathed out and didn't breath in again.
We rang the night doctor to ... check. then the undertakers. all of who were very nice.
My dad managed to get to worthing from home in under an hour which is quite impressive.

Rosie came home the next day - stepping off the plane from Beijing completely clueless. mum and dad told her and she was really upset to only miss her by 12hrs. that's the way life goes i guess.

So it's all been a bit subdued in the house really. i came home to go to lana's meal - it was soooo nice to talk to people who weren't shrowded in death - which was fun. Georgia smoked SilkCut's (which is my nan's type of fag) and i wanted to punch her for being so thick, but i restrained myself.

On Wednesday was her funeral. Rosie and i spoke. managed to get through the speech without crying which is good considering i had all the hard lines like "She will be missed very much and i hope she knew how much we all loved her". But still everyone apprieciated it. I'm glad cause i was worried, especially as our speech included the poem "the computer swallowed Grandma". But people said it was nice.

And it was a nice service - the flowers people sent were beautiful. And i liked meeting all nanny's friends - all the people ive been writing emails to for her. it's good to put a face to a name.

Then mum and i hung around worthing for an extra day and a half to let grandad know we were there. but i think he needs to be alone for it to hit him properly. So we came home today.

Mum's doing really well. Obviously breaks down into tears every so often - but she's been really strong. Grandad has been amazing. Rosie mainly feels guilty for not being there i think (which she shouldn't) but is also coping. And i'm fine - although its really hit me how much i hate crying in public. like so much so that i dont do it. only my dad has seen me cry yet. there's a lot to be said for the British stiff upper lip.

At anyrate it's all been a bit doom and gloom despite our best efforts to be cheery so i'll be glad to run away and hide at uni.

Rosie went for a job interview today and got it so shes working in a lab in Cambridge which is exciting.
I went to see Atonement (which is fabulous, but i still hate Knightly) and am going to Uni for the 1st Oct and i honestly can't wait

Hopefully i'll see you all before i go. love you all.
xxxxxxxxxx

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 01:57:02 GMT

yes it's ridiculously early in the morning.

Well its not like i could sleep. Today and the last couple of days have been a bit of a strain.
My nanny (the one who can't breath) now really really can't breath as her hernia has expanded and so not only can she not breath but it also hurts her if you touch her - even really gently.
Im going down tomorrow. My mum went down on wednesday as she always does but nanny was so bad and grandad was so worried that they called the doctor out and mum stayed down there for the night. the next day (thursday) she was even worse so they called an ambulance to take her to hospital. they rang at 9 in the morning she got seein to at the hospital at 3. all they could do was give her stronger drugs so she's just out of it on morphine. but she doesn't like hospitals so they said since they couldn't do anything she could go home. Except there were no longer any ambulances. so they took a cab - bare in mind my nan can barely sit up let alone walk. then when they got home they didn't have paramedics to help so my 76yrold grandad who is weak anyway andhas a heart condition and my mother who has a giant hernia of her own, lifted my 14stone nanny up the stairs.and then dropped her on the top step. where she lay for about an hour trying to calm down from the shock. she then got herself into a wheelchair - lord knows how - and promply fell asleep for an hour. then finally tried to get into bed. so having left the hospital at 6 she was finally tucked up in her own bed at 12, midnight. so that's when my mum started home.

i wake up at 1 purely by chance and hear my mum is back cause i can hear her banging around down stairs. so i go down to talk to her - which she obviously really needed as we sat there until now. she had 4 glasses of whiskey, i really don't think that she can handle this pressure.

So we're talking about a hospice for nanny really. cause although i know she wants to go through the final stage at home i honestly don't think that grandad can manage.he has sundowning so when he's tired he gets confused very easily and she doesn't have the breath to explain what she needs and then he blames himself for not being able to help her and gets depressed. i don't know what he's going to do when she goes. they haven't been apart for a single night in over 30yrs now. this is eating him and i'm more worried about him than nanny. in fact it's probably bad of me but i'm concerned for grandad then my mother and then nanny. nanny is going to die soon and there's nothing we can do about that but hope that we can make it a bit more comfortable ... but grandad and mummy have to watch her die - i think that is much worse than dying. also grandad is getting so confused i dont think he's thinking about himself at all. mum said that he forgot to eat yesturday until 4 when she asked him if he'd had something.

Still we do what we can. I hope she holds on until Rosie is home.
I probably won't be around much the next couple of weeks.

Other stuff that's going on:
>Got my St Georges Freshers Fortnight pack - all looks very exciting - i'm definatly more excited than scared now.
>Jeff is a bastard and i have a feeling that he won't be speaking to me any time soon as i may have called him something a bit nasty.
>Rosie is flying back soon - she's booked a plane ticket from Bejing so she just has to get to Bejing from Ulambatar.
>Hattie leaves tomorrow for her exciting adventure into the land of anime - i don't know why but the only image of japan that comes to my head is a cartoon one of tokyo tower, anyway i hope she has fun.

yup so i'll see you all at some point but i'll probably be in worthing for the majority of the time now.

scary pathetic fangirl post

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:55:10 GMT

Oh i really am a pathetic twat.

Seriously.

I've become addicted to QAFUS. *hangs head in shame* why do i let people drag me into these things?? WHY?? At least it's not like i have anything else to do. oh dear. my life is sad. trouble is these programmes are so cute!!!

Ok so i've already watched all of the first series - or at least asmuch as possible given my illegal routes of watching. but there's weird fun in that too, i actually get excited when i get the video i want and feel a ense of achievement if it's on Stage6 (good quality) rather than youtube (shit quality). It's all just sooooo addictive. and keeps getting better. S2 is actually making me like Brain/Justin now as well!! oh dear - sucked in. I still hate Justin - but not brian strangly, i'm liking him more and more (plus he's becoming less unattractive - nice jaw but still scary eyebrows). I love the pride episode, cracked me up and such a cute ending, awww. And the episode with David/Micheals party when they come dressed as gay stereotypes - hysterical!! It's not often you get the lines:
"I'm not into leather"
"Neither was i until i met an old classmate who took me to his dungeon and make me his pif boy"
hahaha!! so great!! I love ted. best character in it - although they all have their charms.

Why is there so much of it? i feel my life draining away - trouble is it's so happy making - it actually makes me laugh out loud and squee, when i'm by myself!!! oh dear god i need help.

But here i also must write my apology to alana for ruining her first viewing of the Justin/Brian prom dance. it is actually really sweet if you've watched the rest of S1. But personally prefer the end of the Pride episode:
"Hey stud you wanna dance, i promise you'll remember it this time" SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

seriously i've properly dorked out.

In addition to my new QAF fetish i watched all of Bob and Rose - i may have written that already. It's really good - don't like the very end though cause there's a baby and that just ruined it. But still the last scene of a series can be forgiven if the rest of it's stella.

I also read all of Eclipse in like a day. This really is true dorkville. It's the next one in the vampire series ive been reading. I still can't believe i'm reading books clasified as "young adult". It's just good. Although i didn't like the ending for Jacob. I feel something more was required. But still Edward and Bella are a sickeningly perfect couple and i love the way StephMeyer approaches sex - like "don't make it really obvious what with the kiddiness of the book; but still it's here and they're teenagers and they're meant to be in love ..." hahaha, just funny.

And Supernatural season 2 is out Sept 10th. I might have to treat myself. Owning Jensen (Dean) is just too much of a temptation. Plus i really really really wanna know what happens and the internet is pants. Isn't it interesting that you can get almost all of QAF and barely any supernatural. or dexter for that matter. The showtime website showed the first two episodes of Dexter so i watched those and i was getting into it and now all the links i can find on the internet are dead. stupid timeing.

Still there's lots of QAF to corrode my mind untill Supernatural comes out. So if you don't mind i'm off to complete S2.

I got in!! :D

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 15:35:13 GMT

Do you ever get that bizar feeling? what's it called .... oh yes, fear.
Seriously i think there's something wrong with my head.

For the last 4 years of my life i've wanted nothing more than to be a doctor. For the last 2 i've been praying to get into medical school and working my arse off to get there. And yes i'm happy. ecstatic actually that i've gotten in. I cried when i saw the website in the morning before i got my results. i was practically bouncing off the walls when i read my results at school (AAAB - for those who don't know yet but i think i've called everyone i've ever met).

And after school i went back to Hatties and i was still happy and more than anything else relieved. AND of corse reallyreally proud cause all of my friends have gotten into their first choice, especially miss clever cloggs for her results - no one deserves it more.

but as soon as i'd stopped being surrounded by people who were congratulating me the tiny niggle that was in the back of my head exploded.

I'm gonna be at University for the next 5 years. 5years of learning a hell of a lot of things which are most likely, hopefully, goning to help someones life oneday. That's crazy. Everything that i've grownup with. All of the security of my friends and all that familiarity is just not gonna be there. and on top of that i'm gonna have work which is gonna be really challenging, forget physics a level i mean actually hard intense learning - stuff i really need to know. and that's all just down right frigtening.

Don't get me wrong - i still want to go. and i'm still dead excited. i really really do want to do it. but that trepidation is still there and it's eating my stomach. there's this voice in my head that's just going "but what if you don't like it, can't do it" and i can silence it all i like it's still there. i really wish it would go away, i want to be as overly excited as i should be after 4 years of waiting. It's just all suddenly becoming very real and i don't like it - i don't like feeling like a little girl.

Anway on to happier things.
Like the fact that Hattie is a genius and that she is now all grow'd up!!! yay!! commence being dragged out clubbing and forced to listen to bad music. mwahahahaha

And the fact that my parcel for amazon.com arrived!!!!
New Stephanie Meyer book!! w00t for werewolves and vampires. I lied it's better than the fanfiction - not a lot but still better - like it's not all lemons and actually has plot.
and Bob and Rose came!! it's really good. i knew it would be. the mother is like the best character. RTD really has a thing about groovy mums, either his mother was ridiculously oversupportive or the opposite cause i think he has a complex. And the storyline is really well done to. I was worried that it would seem like being gay was a lifestyle choice but in fact it's not like that. It's really funny cause he has to "re-comeout" to his parents, and he's just as scared of doing that as he was teh first time. and Alan Davies is perfect. the only character i find irritating is Holly - but i think you're meant to.

Speaking of RTD, at Hatties i watched some of QAF US.duhduhDUUUUHHHH!!! it's actually good!!! shocking i know. Well at least the 3rd series was, i wasn't converted to the other episodes we watched but that may have been cause we didn't watch them in order so there wasn't an "emotional journey". And kim was there and she just radiates cynicism. At any rate i was mildly impressed. Although i didn't like Brian and Justin - the characters not the pairing. and i'm sad Ethan left cause he was the only good looking one in the show. At any rate - enjoyable but not really worthy of buying of the series.

What i do think is worth buying is Supernatural season 2 when it comes out. Lana came round Wednesday and we watched 12hrs straight of supernatural. best party ever. Seriously the second series is so good, I'm so sad i missed it on TV. Although now i really wanna know what happens cause lanu only has up to episode 11 of S2. :( This means as soon as it comes out over here i'm downloading it off someones who buys it what? i don't have that kinda money - student now remember?

Other news:
rosie's heading for Russia but she's split from the other two cars. One crashed and so the people in that are taking the train and one wanted to stop somewhere - the people not the car.

My car's finally decided it's had enough. I was gonna drive down to Plymouth today and go sailing but she's started making that weexing sound constantly and i didn't think a 5 hour drive would do her good. Plus everyone kept cancelling on me. they obviously saw the weather forecast. So i should have gotten the train down but i slept through the alarm. so no boat. aparrently my mum threw a fit.

And my new phone arrived ... but alana has my old one so no sim. Lanu unless i see you this week can you post it me. I'm pretty much free all week if you wanna meet and do something.

And everyone else in the world - i have no plans until i head off to Uni so pop in whenever you like :D

love you all
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Europe

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 19:49:05 GMT

Beware HEAVY photo post.

So we start by catching the ferry to the mainland. Dover to Calais. Wouldn't think it would be that hard. We got lost at dover and had to be escourted by out of the terminal. At any rate we evidently did get on the ferry, proof? photo:

So we got to Calais and it was the start of the Tour de France so there were lots of cyclists about. We had a croissant in Calais while we waited for the train which would whisk us to Paris via Boulogne.
In Paris we hopped on the metro (i say hopped i mean squished as with your bag making you twice the size you usually are - which is big enough anyway - the french don't look to kindly on you in the cramped compartments of the underground). We got the metro up to clichy and then walked up the road to our first hostel. Settled in. Told a girl from Mexico where to go in London. then went out for food - italian ironically.

First day in Paris we got the metro down to the Champs Elysees which we walked along. Once we got to the Arc de Triumph we headed slightly inward (away from the river) walking past the Academy National towards the Louvre. We bought our breakfast, our first Bagette of France!! the first of many,

walked past the coolest metro station entrance:</b>

Trust the french to get fancy with their underground stations.

anyway then we went to the Louvre. Saw the Mona lisa and the VenusdeMilo:

both of which were mildly disappointing the rest of the museum was just as good if not better cause they lacked the crowds of chinese surrounding the pieces.
then we saw the african art section which was really cool and contained the best statue:

After the Louvre we walked to Notredame

Went in saw it etc. all as impressive as ever. then came out and the weather decided to thunderstorm. Saw lightening hit the spire of the Notredame, rather dramatic

So we hid in a cafe. Then went to a station to sort out our tickets to Marseilles. That done got a metro to the Pompidou then went and had a crepe. then we walked to the Basilica De Sacre Couer. by which time it was nice and sunny:

We walked up to the top of the Basilica (which i keep calling basilisk for some reason) and saw the view over the whole of paris:

then we got a Metro to the Pantheon and looked at a piano bar the book recommended ... we didn't go in it looked a bit scary. Then we walked around the Latin Quarter for like 4 hours. Stopped and had a kir but honestly there wasnt anything there. So we stopped somewhere random had an omlette and went back to the hostel.

Next day we went to the cemetery montmartre which is impressive. lots of stray cats. Then we went to the Musee de Orsay. LONG queue but totally worth it. I prefered it to the Lourve, it's just a better space and it has more of the kind of art i like in it, impressionists and what have you.

After that we had a coffee then went to find the Moulin rouge which we walked past the day before and didn't notice. oh yes we're observent:

then we walked about, had a crepe for dinner and eventually went back to the hostel and slept.

Next morning caught the train to Marseilles

Were in Marseilles for about 2 hours. They were having a tram festival. i kid you not. there were crazy street dancers and stuff. the celebration of the arrival of the tram. as my grandad said it must not come very often. anyway we had lunch in front of the big fountain at the front of a museum. Then we were back on the train heading for Nice.

Once we got to Nice we walked around a lot trying to find somewhere to stay, ended up a rank one star hotel. hostels are better than cheap hotels. anyway we dumped our bags there and then went to look at the town. Saw the statue people who weren't very statue like but fun anyway. had a panache:

then walked down to the sea front past a stage we saw earlier and they were letting you in without a ticket so we watched the BalkenBeatBoxers

who were actually rather good, kinda an odd mixture of jazz and hiphop with drums an electric clarinet and a sax. The audience were hillarious cause absolutly no one could dance. like at all. and i'm fairly sure half of them were high. it was fun to watch.

Next day we dumped our bags at the train station, i put the ticket to get them back in my wallet. then we went to the beach, where i got horribly burnt. don't fall asleep on the beach. then went for a walk up the old castle sight (the cashew as my nan called it) saw the cascade and the view over Nice. then walked through the market and had an icecream (this is i believe where i had my wallet stolen). had a pina colada. then had some churros (which were quite disgusting compared to the ones in Florida). Then about half an hour before our train for Rome left we went to the station to get our bags and stuff. I look in my bag. no wallet. no ticket for bags. had to pay to get our bags then i rang my grandad to get the number of my bank so i could cancel my card. We got on the train as i tried to ring the bank, but we kept going through tunnels so i kept getting cut off, so i gave up, prayed the pickpocket didn't do anything that night and would ring the bank in the morning (there was no problem with cancelling my card and Stelles dad wired her more money so she could pay for us both, so we were in fact fine, but it was a worrying night).

The night train itself was actually quite fun. Got no sleep at all but talked to crazy people. Including lettuce man - a slightly drugged up australian who was actually called Borus or something, he said people called him paul .... he was very odd - Shelden - yes that was actually his name, ha!, he was fun, from StAlburns - and Marcus lettuce mans travelling buddy, far saner. Was a good train ride. Everyone went to sleep around 3am, except me, who watched the sunrise over tuscany as the train sped towards rome. It was pretty. had a weird discussion with lettuce man about not sleeping when travelling cause it made you feel more at one with where you are ... or something, it was tricky to follow his train of thought.

anyway got to Rome and caught a bus out to the campsite. Set up our tent then met Stelle's dad's friend Harry. He took us to lunch at the amazing resturant called the "mozarella bar". We had a starter between us of 6 different types of mozarella mmmm it was good. He told us about the best icecream place in town and how best to get from place to place then left us to explore rome. Which we did in the shocking heat.
Small selection of Rome-ness:
Pantheon

Trevi fountain:

Colluseum:

Estelle dead at the villa Borghese:

Next day we went out to the catacombs:

We got there at 12 and they were closed for lunch so we hung around for an hour until they opened. was really interesting tour of the Catacomb of St Sabastian. Started slightly worryingly though with the guide saying "you have to come down here with a guide cause otherwise youll get lost and theres only enough air down here for an hour" :S
then we got the bus back in to Rome. Except we got the wrong one cause the busses are confusing so ended up getting a bus then the metro back to where we vagually recognised.

We then walked to the circo Maximo where there was an openair free genesis concert being held.

It was sooooooooooooooooooo good. and completely packed. Ive never seen so many people. It was an amazing concert.

Next day we packed up the tent and went to the train station where we met Kirsty!!! which was slightly surreal. then we caught the train to Florence. Once in Florence we tried to get the bus to the campsite. But for that week the bus was cancelled for that stop for that week. suckage. so we descided not to stay in Florence but to go straight to Venice. so we spent 5 hours in Florence in which we saw the Duomo

the Campinile

The Uffizi

and we walked up to the bobili gardens but didn't go in.

So we caught our train to venice at about 10pm and after some mild confusion with our tickets we got off at Maestro at about 1am. This is the station of Venice on the mainland. We then slept on the station platform untill 5:30 when a train to Santa Lucia came and we watched the sunrise over Venice as we sped towards it.
Once at venice we washed up in the station loos (which were overly expensive) and used up the last of the grenadine, our faithful friend:

We then walked the streets of venice, which is SO pretty in the morning when it's cool and before the tourists come

At 9 oclock as the tourists started to come in floads as the first ferries arrived we jumped into the queue for the Doge's Palace. Which was very impressive

I, unfortually, felt like i was going to faint the whole time, overtiredness heat and ladypains do not mix well. So for the majority of the day we hid from the sun.
We walked around much of venice trying to find the train station again. Eventually we did find it, and in time to get on our train to vienna.

We arrived in vienna in the morning and found a hostel which would take us for a night, dumped our bags, and met sokjeomg who came round with us for the day. We did a toured around the big pretty buildings of vienna

We went to the Beldevere art museum which contains a tonne of Klimps which was amazing. I've seen the original Kiss!! it's a very impressive museum.
then caught a bus to just outside the city where we went for a walk down a hill and shared a bottle of the local Rose

then Stelle and i went to a cafe and had the most delicious coffee and apple strudel

Next day we went to the Naschmarket, had the local beer

and bought €18 worth of dried fruit. another loyal companion of the trip

Then we caught a tram out to the Schoenbrunn which is pretty. We sat in the Royal park for a while enjoying the nature surrounding us (i say surrounding i mean attacking - the birds kept trying to eat my toes!!)

We then went back to the centre and say this crazily good glass harmonica player

And then went to Prater where there was a film festival going on. anyone whose seen "The Third Man" Prater is the final scene with the wheel. We were going to go into the funfair after we watched the film playing but the film was longer than we thought. It was good though, David Bowie "The Man who Fell to Earth". Little odd but good.

Next day we went to Prague, got there cooked our supper at the hostel and i slept, Stelle washed or something. The next day we actually saw Prague. I loved Prague. Its so pretty and feels kinda homely. and there's lots of jazz everywhere.

All of the cars were Skoda's, it really made me laugh, they actually aren't bad looking:

We went to the Jewish quarter, there was a giant shoe in the middle of one of the squares

You thought i was joking didn't you!
Then we walked by the river saw the sunset over the castle

and then went into the largest club in mainland europe. which i thought was fairly rubbish. but it wasn't really my kind of music.

Next day we actually went up to the castle. It's really impressive. There was a photography exhibition through the grounds as well which was just really well done

camp guard, haha!!

then we walked up to Petrin tower, and up Petrin tower, from the top of which you get a view over all of Prague

We then went back down into town. Saw a Salvador Dali exhibition which was cool cause it had lots of his early work and some ceramics which i'd never seen before. we then sat in the old town square and listened to a jazz trio waiting for 4 oclock when we could watch the astronomical clock.
On the hour a skeleton pulls a string which opens two windows which the saints pass by and the string connects to a bell which rings

That night i had the traditional meal of dumplings and pig

which was delicious. and then we went to watch a NY jazz pianist who was absolutly amazing

We tried and failed to catch the last metro back to our hostel so we had to catch a night bus. which we managed. unfrotunatly it dropped us somewhere we didn't recognise (it was at th top of a hill one side of a motorway whilst the hostel was at the bottom of the hill the otehr side of the motorway) as we started off in one direction down the hill it started to rain. The rain got harder and harder as we headed further and further in the wrong direction. We then decided to follow the tram lines back (becasue the tram stops directly outside the hostel) and the rain was Cambodian level complete with thunder and lighting. We got back to the hostel about 3am completely soaked through. I found it more fun than stelle did i believe.

Next day we went to the oldest church in Prague which had an impressive treasury and cemetery. We then got the night train to Zurich.
Zurich is a very pretty city. We walked around the lake,

and then as the shops started to open we went to find the Sprungli shop which had LOTS of nice chocolate. We had a really good hot chocolate in the newly opened Sprungli cafe

We saw the churches in zurich (the twin spire, the one with surrealist stained glass windows and the one with the largest clockface in europe) grabbed some food from the supermarket and then jumped on a train to St Moritz.

At St Moritz we set up the tent then went for a walk round the lake

we got half way round when it started to rain and thunder, before it got to hard we asked these random Swiss people for a lift back to the campsite in their car, luckily they weren't psycho and they very kindly gave us a lift.
We then stayed in the tent as the rain got harder and harder.

The next morning the rain had calmed but it wasn't really gone. We packed up the wet tent (yuck) and went into the town. Prada shops. We left the town, headed back to Zurich to catch a train to Lucern to catch a tain to engleberg.

Engleberg is a beautiful little village in the middle of nowhere:

We went to the cheese factory!! it was really small.

anyway we only stayed there for a night and then went to Lucern. Lucern is very pretty, has a big lake (all of Switzerland seems to be built around lakes). From Lucern we went to Interlarken. that train apparently tried Stelle out, look how cute she is!!

Interlarken: very nice but REALLY expensive. And all the trains are private so we had to pay for them on top of our ticket. so rather than going up the Jungfrau, which had been the plan, we got the cheapest ticket which was to Wengen and walked from Wengen to Lauterbrunnen.

Then rather than staying another night in SUPER EXPENSIVE place we went to Bern. Which is pretty but very small for a capital.</b>

After a night in Bern we headed for Geneva, which is again a pretty swiss town. Has a big fountain. Well less of a fountain more of a large jet of water. very useful for navigational purposes.

Second day in Geneva we went to see the UN. lots of flags:

And it has a large chair outside and fountains. The chair is missing a leg and i can't quite work out if that is symbolic (of what i know not) or a bus hit it:</b>

We then got the bus to the train station, here we see the trouble with our packs, they are bigger than us:

We got the train to Dijon:

Again pretty, but this time French city. We had REALLY good pizza there, why we alway end up eating italian i don't know. In Dijon rahter than visiting the mustard factory (which i think would have been fun, but we were there on a sunday) we saw the Musee de Beaux Art. It's apparently second only to the Louvre. It's an impressive collection. I prefered the modern art section though (which is perculiar for me) and the floors were REALLY squeaky so i was really self conscious walking around.

anyway from Dijon we caught a train to Calais (which meant changing at Paris and Lille). In Calais we set up camp and had icecream (despite it being freezing) The next day we spent shopping in CiteEurope and caught our ferry home an hour earlier than planned at 6:30

and that my friends was our trip. ALL of my photos are on facebook (that's 11 albums :S) so if you're really interested get facebook!!

Love you all
xxxx

OK i know i promised photo's first but i had to do this: HP POST

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 15:36:16 GMT

Just slightly later than the rest of the world i finished HP last night at one in the morning (would have been faster but was at my grandparents for 2 days and had A LOT of washing to do - why am i making excuses to you lot)

Right so the whole thing was woefully predictable and i almost threw up at the lupin/tonks *shiver* but at about page 300 i suddenly realised that i couldn't actually put it down, although i knew what was going to happen i had to READ it happen. completely trapped as always. but it did take till P300.

So lets start from the beginning shall we:

I loved the "lets make snape look really evil all the way through the book" i was starting to get really angry with myself like actually saying outloud "you know snapes good stop doubting him!!" i think my dad is about to commit me.

Who else loved the peacocks. sadly all it did for me was picture the malfoys manner as school. When they broke out of the cell i was imagining the nuns coming out and telling them off for the noise.

Didn't you also love the batness of Voldi in this one, just to make HP superhero like Volde had to be a bat - he wraps his prey and hangs it from the ceiling, he can fly, it's VOLDEMORT ~~dududoooo~~

and then as i said before *PUKE* and the lupin/tonks. she went too far to kill our fandom. Even after the marriage news i was hopeful cause Lupin was really depressed. Even after the "Tonks is pregnant" i controlled myself because he wasn't happy so she could have raped him or something. but then he was happy when it was born. There's really no getting out of that.

then oh for god's sake with the whole "I'm questioning dumbledore and it's killing me" thing. seriously get over it. who worked out the younger sister story line by the conversation with Doge?? *raises hand* honestly, she didn't shut up about it. I did like the extra bit to Dumblis character but really did she have to go on so much?? Although the Grindlewald line was good. I liked that. didn't click that he was the old man Volde was questioning till harry said it, although probably just distracted by the other stuff going on. But seriously we saw in the last book Dumble feels horrible guilt about something and we know he's obsessed with family, it wasn't that much of a leap.

moving on

i actually thought the harry/ginny worked in this book. although the watching her name on the map was just annoying. but still i feel if i cared at all about the pairing it would have been fine. like that it didn't get in the way of the threesomenes of ron harry and herm tho. and well the ron/herm was just plain funny. bravo for not making that sickening

How cute was dudley!! and harry ever the british male "blimey dudley". that cracked me up for like an hour

I actually thought that hagrid was going to die at the beginning. i'm so glad he doesn't. butheart in mouth moment. i was scared
and the George loss of ear was classic. you really can't beat the twins

Was anyone else irritated by the way every character was like "well these things are useless" when it came to Dumble's will. how rubbish. they suck. blatently obvious the snitch would open before he dies. anyway

who else wants a wizard wedding?? i bet you they'll start doing them now. even the vows were nicer. she obviously had fun with that bit

yadda yadda with the search for the hallows. glad they clicked with the locket quickly cause i don't think there was a single reader who hadn't realised it was Regulus and it was the locket they found cleaning out the house.

LOVED the kretcher thing. He was great. and the whole him doing Henry V with the other house elves in the final battle cracked me up. yay for house elves

speaking of, who cried when dobby died. i knew it was coming but ... i'm such a pansy. seriously this book made me cry twice. ha i suck

the Lovegoods just rocked the book really didn't they. they are just fun. although Luna's room would have properly freaked me out

I thought the silver doe was clever but i did get that it was snape. i thought "that's lilly's. don't be ridiculous she's dead. oh it must be snapes". but it was well done. FINALLY went into snapes memories again. that chapter rocked. but all the way through i was just thinking of the internet exploding with fics. specially with the "harry has lilly's eyes" thing

who loved McGonagall?? I've thought it before but not quite so much, i'd so do her. she's like the best character. yay!! Also how Bedknobs and Broomsticks was the whole statues defending hogwarts. She even says the same latin i think, but i haven't checked so i may be wrong

and yay for Neville. he's always ruled but i feel his fandom credentials increased a lot this book

Did anyone else feel that she meant to do more with Percy? it's like she had a whole plan decided it was just too much forgot about him the thought screw it he'll just come back and fight at the end ... i was expecting more

loved the "lets keep rescueing Malfoy" haha

and second blubber moment. yes the resurrection stone. who else cried. just the single tear kinda crying. well done scene. i'm marching to my death surrounded by my whole family ... who are dead. awww. can't wait for the film purely for this scene. i do realise they're still making the book previous but still

Felt the Kings Cross scene was a bit odd. No one else think "but why hasn't dumbledore moved on?" surely he should be on "the train" ~~oh the cheese~~ and i completely didn't get what the scorched baby was. any suggestions?? seriously what was that about. I also hate the Harry has no flaws thing. he really is my least favorite character. oh and he dies!! kinda. I own my own eyebrows!!

The final circling Volde Harry moment was soooooooooooooo james bond it ruled. lets not just kill each other lets explain everything to each other first. that way if it all back fires and i don't kill him he'll actually be able to protect himself. but you know it won't backfire cause there's only 20 pages left. still good moment.. Anyone else think the death itself was kinda anticlimax-y. he should have exploded or something.

I think we could have done without the final chapter. it made it seem unfinished to me. i think the final line should have been "i've had enough trouble for a lifetime". END
the kidilys were unneccersary. what are they all super fertile. the names were just puke worthily twee. Ron wa the only good thing about that chapter. I was actually expecting it to end with harry and ginny kissing. thank God it didn't but "all was well" was just as bad. I was looking for the next paragraph. suckish ending. i was hoping for Harry as headmaster, THAT would have been the end, or Neville. as it is we'll never know, maybe Percy just to tie off that loose end.

All in all i did enjoy it. The first 2 chapters i thought i didn't but i actually did. Cracked me up how every other line was about sex, seriously, specially the whole wand business

now i simply must own the chamber of secrets in welsh!! hahaha!!

also see the film

Right know that's over with i should actually do something.

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:55:08 GMT

Hello.

I'm back.

none of you noticed i was gone did you. :'(
jokes.

Anyway yes, back from exploration of europe. Really isn't enough words in the universe to describe this trip. I'll do a bit post later with photos and stuff but the basic trip was this:

1. Paris - so cool and amazing and lots of walking and i know the metro far to well now. We may have lived off bagette these 3 days.
2. Marseille - 2 hours, v. hot.
3. Nice - V. Hot. got burnt. Got wallet stolen so Stelle payed for everything the entire trip. Nice place though. saw Bulkan beatboxers, who were alot better than their name suggests.
4. Rome - Absolutly amazing and incredible, cause it's pretty and old and sunny and we got fed REAL food by stelles dads friend and then had the most AMAZING icecream. Then saw GENESIS in the circo maximo for FREE and they were amazing, i no longer feel shame at liking Phil Collins, i don't care if i'm sad they ROCKED.
5.Florence - for 5 hours cause stupid bus system is stupid, at anyrate as pretty and wonderful as ever.
6. Venice - pretty from 6:30am to 9am then horrible cause it's too hot and there are too many tourists and the place only serves to cater tourists, literally that's all there is.
7. Vienna - yay!! we like vienna, vienna pretty and cooler and has good coffee and strudel and wine and it's just generally a lovely place.
8. Prague - i loved prague, i could actually see myself living there. It was all so pretty and calm, it really didn't feel like a capital cause the city was so small but it still felt important and city like. hard to explain. anyway prague was fun. saw lots of jazz and got caught in massive thunderstorm (like competing with Cambodian rain)
9. Zurich - pretty, good chocolate, very clean.
10. St Mortiz - pretty, nice people the swiss they give lifts back to your tent when it starts to rain and you've walked away from the tent for the last hour and there are no busses. v. expensive place though, not that we bought anything other than chips.
11. Engleburg - very pretty and in the middle of now where, cheese factory though.
12. Luzern - pretty city ... just very swiss
13. Interlarken - SO EXPENSIVE!! i will return when i have money to go hangliding and crap, as it was (cause the stupid railways are private and have changed tehir policies) we only went half way up the mountain and saw the Jungefrau from a distance. Beautiful walk though.
14. Bern - not alot to say about bern, pretty enough, very small really. saw a steal drum band.
15. Geneva - again not a lot to say, nice city, not a lot to do ... but nice.
16. Dijon - didn't get to see the mustard factory but did have the nicest pizza.
17. Calais - very cold but had an icecream anyway. Cite Europe isn't as exciting as it should be and they have no luggage dumping place so we shopped with our packs ... anyway it lead to home.
and then it's home and you all know about that.

I do realise that that summary probably sounded really fed up but i honestly did enjoy myself but i've alread repeated this like 10 times to various people and it's hard to explain without pictures.

so pictures next post promise.
Now off to read harry potter (still have to see teh film any volunteers to enjure radcliff another time??)

Oh and i hate amazon, they've now decided i can't have blackpool till december so i've cancelled the order and will go buy it from HMV. Bob and rose should arrive soon though. :DDD aww so much to catch up on!!!!

I better see you all soon. much love!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 13:29:47 GMT

PRIDE WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!
photos say it all:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v82/_windigo_/Pride/

The next chapter.

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:15:07 GMT

This time of year seems full of people saying "on to the next chapter of your life then" and that's all well and good, i like new chapters, loveem very excitin ect. but there's still that closing of the last chapter which is slightly too final for my liking, and on top of that not knowing at all what the next chapter will bring. I can't wait till August at least then i'll have an answer one way or another, McDs or StGeorges.

But on the plus exams are over and i suddenly have a life again. an incredibly busy life. Monday (which feels like a year ago) i had my last exam (yay!!) which was completely evil (boo!!). Then went out to Kingston to Oceana, which is a very fun club, and it would have been a really cheap night had i not needed a tank of petrol to get there. Ran into large group of the year above, all looking as skinny and smiley as ever, and they preceeded to ignore us for the rest of the eve which is fine by me. Then Steph's power steering went so we drove home really slowly, at like 3 in the morning.

tuesday got up at 930 for my hair cut. which is very pretty cause it's all lighter and stuff, but is rather disconcerting cause i don't think it's very me. although you can wax it to make it go all funky which is fun. then found i had a parking ticket, another £30 down the drain. then walked from one bank to another trying to move some money across banks only for them to tell me i couldn't because my mum had set up my savings account so only she could transfer money out, despite it being in my name, i can take money out but not transfer it??? stupid bank.

Wednesday was Louises boat party which was good fun. went back to wonu's after so that i only had to get up at 530 rather than 430.

Thursday got up at 530 drove up to Cambridge. Got there early so went and had a bowl of cereal with rosie, who for someone with a hangover was very bouncy. Then we all went to a service in Clare chapel, and i almost fell of my seat cause i fell asleep, the choir were really good though. then kinda spend the day hanging around waiting for the Graduation ceremony. had photos, mummy fussed. the Master made his speech. i was disappointed that Simm didn't pop up and exterminate us all but what you gonna do. then they processed to Senate house where the ceremony was. It was a bit odd. Like prize giving at Hogwarts in latin. They had the graduants line up in rows of 5 by degree type and subject and alphabetically. then they were all chanted at in latin whilst a guy in a mortar board kept taking his hat on and off. then a row would come up to a different man in a mortar board they would all hold his hand in a sorta powerranger like manner be chanted at in latin by that guy then a different guy would call them up individually and they'd kneel in front of a man who looked a bit like santa cause his gown was red and his hood was ermin and he had a beard and they'd hold up their hands like they were praying and he would cover them with his own and chant at them in latin again they'd stand and were given a bit of paper which was their degree and go outside. it was quite amusing for like the first 20 people then it was dull until then rosie went and then it was dull again. Rob winked at Santa dude, haha. anyway here is rosie with her degree:

Then we cleared out rosie's room and went home.

Today is rather dull, got rosie packed up to go to scotland and tehn mongolia and waited for a man to come fix the drains. I'm going to Louises show later which is apparently amazing so that'll be fun.

Going to Pride tomorrow!! w00t!! but sadly have to leave just as everything starts. it's the school ball so gonna have to leave london at about 4:30 ish so that i'm home intime to beautify myself for the ball. and all of the stagey things start at 3. so only get an hour and a half of fun stageyness. but still some is better than none. I really have an urge to dress up, the theme is "idols" which is just going to be fun, but i really don't have the energy. AND i'm not gonna get to see DrWho untill after the ball *cries* and there's a vicious rumour that he regenerates so it's not gonna be DT anymore *sobs* but we shall see, hopefully it's evil and untrue.
Going to Sarah's after the ball, cause i think i'll just die if i try and go back up to London which means that i need to tell Rebecca as much but facebook is being pants and not letting me on. stupid computer *kicks*

Next week is the lastof school so tehre are various masses and things that need to be attended. Also have a contact lens fitting on wednesday *scary*.

Then next Sunday I'm off to Paris to begin the Europe tour. My sis bought me a fabulo book which tells you how long and how regular trains across europe are, so that'll be useful. i can't wait to get my brain away from the world at the mo.
Oh! and you know something wonderful!! i can read again!! It's the BEST thing about not having exams, reading for fun. I read all of Oranges are not the only fruit on Monday just cause i could. plus i love that book, although i always feel i'm missing something in here fairytale bits.
At any rate, being able to read is brilliant and wonderful and i'm goning to go to Waterspoons at some point and buy at least 3 books to take to europe with me. I'm thinking a book of short stories cause they're fun while travelling. although i'd also like to read Twilight cause so many people keep going on about it ... but it's based on vampires which really puts me off. A certain slant of light is meant to be good to. but i might stick to something lighter, there must be a Pratchett i haven't read yet.

oh lord i feel a book spree coming on, and just before the last HP ... oh dear ...

love to all

Ok so the week of horror begins

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:01:53 GMT

I hate this week. This afternoon i have chemistry.
Tomorrow morning i have Biology and in the afternoon English Hamlet and Blake.
On Thursday i have Nuclear and Particle Physics
and on Friday i have Biology synoptic.

*cries*

I loath this week.
The only thing pulling me though is the though of DrWho on Saturday!! yay!! It's so exciting. and John Simm!! yay!! hot (if very camp) baddy. Speaking of is anyone else prophesising simm Barrowman action?? i think so. or possibly just cause it could happen this is RTD after all

But no more though along that line. Except to say that teh ending is screening at Pride so it must be teh gay!! hahaha, can't wait, RTD shines again.

Sadly after Saturday head down for heavy revision as my last exam (horrah!!) is on monday. It also happens to be the most impossible. That's right kidies it's harder than nuclear and particle physics. who'd have thought it possible. It's just such a stupid paper. they couldn't have thought "I know for Chemistry lets make their final paper on everything they've learnt" no nononoonono! they thought "lets make the final paper on everything they've ever learnt in chemistry (ie back to GCSE) AND on 4 new topics which are the hardest yet!!"
how the examiners are so kind to us. and i need a B at very least *cries*.
the topics are so evil. Like anyone cares about diazonium salt coupling reactions.

Oh! and i've discovered why people think that biology is hard (the reason i loved it but now of course hate it) is because you have to learn sentances like "Actylchlorine is a neurotransmitter involved in parts of the autonomic parasympathetic nervous system". stupid stupdi biology. I wouldn't mind (cause scarily that makes sense to me) but i have condensed my notes down like this and i know have 20leafs covered in writing like that which needs to be memorised. bleugh.

Still at least that's better than "the laughing stream runs dimpling by" or "Then am i a happy fly if i live or if i die". cause even though that is easy to remember it means bugger all. lord how i hate blake.

And i have now watched like every version of Hamlet. Branagh's is best (shock!) and Gibson's isn't bad, mainly because Zeffirelli directed it. but as fabulous as i'm sure they all are they didn't add as much as i'd hoped to my understanding of the play. they were quite standard interpretations. although Gibson does Hamlet a lot more crazy. And Branagh has a nice bit of p0rn in it. hahaha.
moving on...

So basically not looking forward to this week, can't wait for the end of next week when all will be a distant memory and i'll be parading my sexuality with the rest of london.

AND NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS EVER!!! Rosie got a 2:1!!! yay!!! so proud of her!! although i can't speak to my nanny without hearing "look now what you can do if you work hard" piss off at least i went to school gramps *jokes*
but seriously yay!! *beams* although she doesn't appear to have a plan for after cambridge. maybe the plan is to become a hostage in Iran and i just haven't been informed of it.

Speaking of travelling i'm getting really excited about Europe. Although 22days is so not enough so we're gonna have to think what we really wanna see. but it's close!! i can almost taste the mainland air as we speak. yay!! can't wait to be free of this hell hole.

So to summarise:
Rosie got a 2:1
I'm embarking on the worst week of my life
Dr Who is amazing
and Europe better come quickly
oh!and i hate blake.

that's all bitches, see ya soon
xxxxxxxx

This is going in here cause i don't want it as my bio any more

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 16:14:59 GMT

I am going to tell you about the Muffpuffs.
Muffpuffs are beautiful and exciting creatures who live in a town called Happiville. Their existence is basically to ensure the happiness of those under stress for whatever reason. MuffPuffs spread love and goodness throughout our world by magically appearing on people's pages and postet notes when they are feeling low, or in some cases just because. Everyone needs Muffpuff love!! Muffpuffs magical power of love originates from their core substance the smiley clouds in Happiville's sky. Muffpuffs further distribute their love by speaking to us. Their words encourage love and goodness. Once a Muffpuff said to me:
"Hello, it's a beautiful day, i hope you enjoy it. I love you and the world is good".

Muffpuffs have saved me from severe depression on many an occasion. One time shortly after failing my driving test for the second time, just before a physics test and after a botched attempt at chemistry a Muffpuff saved me from my unhappy life. It was sitting in my bag waiting for me and smiling merrily to greet me back from the hard day. The Muffpuff had gathered my friends and gotten them all to sign it's paper so that i knew my friends surrounded me and my life was a massive hug.

Despite all their goodness, however, a Muffpuff's life is fraught with danger. The hideous and dangerous Drumlins are the evil predator of the Muffpuffs. There is no reason for this cruelty it is done out of pure spite. We mourn the deaths of our brethren Muffpuffs.
Muffpuffs© are the creation of Wonu Owoade

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 17:52:28 GMT

Hmmm ...
first exam today
think it went well, but everyone found it really hard and always think that i've got biology down and i'm retaking so what does that tell you?

nothing really so ...

anyway

rest of life is fine. very dull. lots of work.
saw grandparents. nanny really isn't very well. i hope she makes it past july cause at least then she won't go while we're all away on holiday. i probably shouldn't say that but ... well. and grandad is getting worse. sundowning they call it. as the day goes on he forgets more and more. his short term memory is awful. and that agrivates nanny. and he's now on antidepressents as well as everything else. and his leg keeps weeping which is a bit grose but he says it doesn't hurt. But you can tell that he's waring thin, nanny and grandad had an argument in front of me. practically unheard of. hmm... and it's all getting to mummy. constantly high strung. and i really would try and help more but you know i've got Alevels and stuff and i hate to be selfish here but unless i get these then i can't look after her when she's like nanny and i know she needs looking after now but ... well just but really. and daddy's not very much help cause he just goes quiet or irritated when mummy's upset/mad. lord knows what'll happen when i leave home. if i ever do leave home.
saw granny as well. shes good. had a bit of a tizz about her holiday in september cause she double booked but she sorted it. very capable lady is granny.

Saw Swan lake at the big screen in BP field, beamed live from Covent Garden. was good, would have been better if mummy had been talking to me, but that was my fault cause i but the chicken and the asparagus in the same pot (shock!horror) and said that we had far too much food for a picnic between three (which there was but there we go - 3 bags, seriously!). Swan lake itself was very good but i preferred the matthew bourne version. but i'm a sucker for gay men in fluffy plus4s :P

Rosie came back for a day. good to see her. they are so not gonna make it past europe, that car is all but dead already. which reminds me if your readin this scrat_squirrel do you recon we can be in Prague on the 22nd? if not it's not a problem but therell be a big party and we can be on the guest list :D. was also thinking it might be worth joining YHA which is only £10 but 5% off all hostels internationally for a year. anyway, yeh we need to plan this a bit ... at some point.

not much else happening. sounds like Kirsty got a scare but she has a post about that, liz says everyone is ok though.

whipped Matt Ed. at iLike, yeh cause i'm working hard.

and that is all, i'll see ya all soon. most of you on the 11th for english (duhduhduhduhduhduuuuuuu)

Oh!! and anyone wanna go to Pride London on the 30th?? there's a parade!! I'm deff going whether anyone comes or not, think Louise is, aren't ya chick? :DD should be good, i need a multicoloured flag ....

ow

Sun, 20 May 2007 18:23:28 GMT

So life just continues to go swimmingly.

Thursday i almost strangled a guy. but im not going to let him bother me. stupid evangelist with stupid perfect clone family. and before that i had a chemistry mock which i have undoubtably failed.

Friday morning i burst me tyre on the way to school. and i know they say that excercise in the morning is good for you but i really didn't feel like the workout. and i had black hands by the time i reached school, which actually wasn't that late, i was impressed with myself. had a physics mock which again i have undoubtably failed, BUT she doesn't expect me to pass, im not sure if that's better or worse.

Then went to kirsty's which was fun, watch good movies (well a good movie and chickflicks) and had a damn good bitch session which i haven't had in ages. Caused Kirsty to go into a weird fit after which she had to have a drink. it was really frightening. but fun.

Saturday came home, bought a wing mirror and i new tyre (another £100 bites the dust). did bugger all all afternoon which was fun but not entirely helpful. can almost play WildWorld now though. Revision does wonders for my guitar ability.

Sunday (today) wokeup rolled over and went to sleep again. then did get up. did some chemisty today but not enough. I just made me realise how much i don't know. Seriously if i bearly know half of my chemistry, and even that half is a struggle when it's meant to be second nature by now, how am i mean to know all of 3 more subjects as well. And even more than that if just my Alevels cause this much trauma how the fuck am i meant to cope with a career in which i have an exam everytime a new treatment come out, which is on average every year or so!! and on top of that i can't keep my head on my books long enough to actually learn anything. tehn my parents came home from their walk and i shouted at them. personally i think i was justified. My dad came in and sat on my guitar. well actually it was balanced on the sofa and he sat of the other end and rested his feet on teh neck. so i shouted at him not to break mmy guitar (which is like my child) and my mum said if i cleaned up after myself my dad wouldn't sit on my stuff and i called my dad inept at everything if he couldn't move a guitar off a chair. and then there was silence. no one calls my daddy inept. and my mum just said "revision not going well" and i burst into tears. then i rambled, much like i am right now. and threw my chemistry papers (which are mostly Ds) at my mum. that is when i stopped doing my work and decided maybe i ought to rest and sleep or something. plus my back really aches. now of course the crimson lady has reared her ugly head and the slightly spastic behaviour makes more sense but the understanding doesnt disapate the need to cry. i was just watching tv and the new childline advert made me burst into tears. and the ending of greys anatomy (poor izzy). at any rate my hormones are a bit haywire ooo prison break tomorrow!!

anyway i'd stear clear of me if i look at all stoney faced or even vaguely irritated, unless you want to:
a)get punched
b) get cried at
or c) both at the same time

so i love you all, if i'm not in on monday either i have killed myself or the chemistry has.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SHOPPING SPREE!!!

Sun, 13 May 2007 13:24:30 GMT

This weekend is now officially spend lots of money weekend. Seriously i now have minus money.

For starters i bought myEurope ticket!!! yay!!! definatly going now, w00t!! Europe here we come!!

Then i went into Kingston with the rents to find mummy a dress for Jame's wedding and ended up buying me a tent and daddy sunglasses, which were the same price i should add. The tent is sooooo cool. I love tents. It's not the one i wanted cause that was £90 but it is really good and is fairly light 2.5kg so will be perfect for Europe - 2 person waterproof (Y).

Then today went to Guildford with mummy to try and find her a dress again and did find her one but also found me one for the ball. and yes i know i said that i already had one for the ball but this one's prettier and i am a spoilt bitch. specially considering what it cost. But it IS gorgeous!! and everyone else has to look as OTT as me cause otherwise i'll feel out of place. and this dress, as lovely as it is, is yet another "look at my boobs" dress, but hey! why not?!?

Anyhoo off to eat lunch,
see all you lovelies at some point.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fri, 04 May 2007 16:03:27 GMT

I hate my life.

I have this ridiculous cold. my head feels like my brain has been liquidated. as such every hole in my face (my nose throat ears and eyes) have various types of goo coming out of them. and everytime i sneeze (cause i have hayfever as well!!!) the whole world shaes and i have to sit with my eyes closed for about half an hour.

I don't have time for this. Thurday and Friday are my busiest days. I've missed 4 biology lessons 3 chemistry lessons 4 physics lessons and 2 english lessons. Physics and chemistry we haven't finished the silabus yet!! oh god i'm gonna fail every thing and its all the fault of my brain being in the wrong state. AND i left my folders at school on wednesday cause i thought it was just the sniffles so i'd be in again on thursday. sadly the virus reproduced like a rabbit overnight and infected every cell so i haven't been ill and cause i don't even have my folders i can revise properly. Half of the exam papers i need to do are in those foldes!! and its a bank holiday weekend so i won't have my folders for another 3 days!! THATS A WOKRING WEEK OF NOT REVISING PROPERLY!!! i can't cope. bleugh.

and i really wanted to go see nanny this weekend but she's all vulnerable and i don't want to infect her.

On a happier note i voted!! dragged myself out of the house and used my political voice!! It would have been more exciting had i not sneezed goo on my ballet. but ah well, it still counts right XD

neurgh ... i'm gonna go die, see you all soon.

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 18:30:33 GMT

Look at how wonderfully amazing i am!! i finally finished adding my Italy pictures to photobucket including my video of Capri!!

View here:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v82/_windigo_/Italy%2007/

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:51:37 GMT

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:19:42 GMT

So my easter was fab!! the Italy trip was amazing and the photo's won't upload on photobucket so you'll have to go to facebook (omg sacriligous):
Part 1: http://hs.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14193&id=536855402
Part 2: http://hs.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14200&id=536855402
Part 3: http://hs.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14251&id=536855402

mmmmmmm i love italy.
And now we're back at school, funfunfun ... i wish study leave would start so i could actually learn something.

Oh and i have a tonne of physics to do cause i have to do my coursework basically all over again cause i assumed stuff that was untrue (like against the laws of physics untrue) and i fiddled my results really obviously.

oh life is sooooooooo dull take me back to Sorrento PLEASE!!!

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 20:30:36 GMT

Going to Pompeii tomorrow!!! just saying goodbye and HA!! i'm going to pompeii and you're not!! hehehehehehe

anyhoo i'm alive and leaving the country i'm sure you'll all be glad to hear.

looooooooooooove
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 20:01:31 GMT

They've deleted that MY LJ section ... weird.

So everyone is down at the moment. Mocks pissed everyone off and people just really want the holiday.

I get it. i do understand people feeling trapped and alone and annoyed and irritated and bleugh. but i give up. you know? i just can't do it. can't care enough to feel like that anymore.

I have 2 pieces of coursework in next week. Chemistry and Physics. I have officially given up when i can't do coursework. it's the only thing i'm good at. but i have just plain given up. written up about a 3rd of my phsics and i don't think that is very good. and i've apparently got to add another conclusion to my chem. not done. haven't don't any of my other homework either. shock horror. maybe the teachers will have to suck it up.

My parents are being all "disappointed". I'm starting to think it's a trick so that i feel angry rather than disappointed in myself.

Mummy's really mad at me cause i didn't do anything with her for mothers day. but she said not to do anything. she said she didn't want it.

*humph*

i just can't do this anymore. When i think about it it makes me want to cry. especially thinking about how sad certain friends are. and i know that there's nothing i can do to help.

So i've decided maybe it's easier just not to think about it. fail everything and sponge forever.

Shame i'm so sad now,had a really fun time on friday night and saturday night, and today lunch. maybe i'm just happier when i'm not trying to do work. logic methinks.