I'D SAY I'M BETTER BECAUSE I LIVED BEFORE I DIED.

New Journal.

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:57:38 GMT

I made a new journal.

memorywillrust

Add me there, if you want.

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 07:04:10 GMT

"The mistrust of heights is the mistrust of self. You don't know whether you're going to jump."

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 06:36:06 GMT

"Always learn poems by heart," she said. "They have to become the marrow in your bones. Like fluoride in the water, they'll make your soul impervious to the world's soft decay."

Wowy

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 07:14:51 GMT

Holy shit, march first already
Happy birthday molly, let's hang out whenever you can.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 07:10:59 GMT

I associate numbers with colors. All the time, and I have for as long as I can remember. Like, 5 is red, 7 is green... it has never seemed odd to me until today that I do this.
I can't explain to you what I mean.

I have a midterm at 8 (blue) and I am going to fail it.

I need to stop posting YouTube videos, and I will, but

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 09:34:53 GMT

You know who I love? Craig Ferguson.

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:48:49 GMT

When I first started babysitting Edie, she was a little smaller than

Now, she looks more like

I'm so old.

p.s. omg katy when I went to my old photobucket to get that first picture, I found that picture of you and pete wentz from like 23 years ago and it was fucking hilarious. iiii miss when warped tour was fun.

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 22:09:12 GMT

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:40:51 GMT

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits:
Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan

Waking Up:
Nightswimming - R.E.M.

First Day At School:
I Wanna Be Yr Joey Ramone - Sleater-Kinney

Falling In Love:
All You Got - Tegan & Sara

Breaking Up:
Glosoli - Sigur Ros

Prom:
Pick Me Up - The Format

Life's OK:
Couldn't Stand the Weather - Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble

Breakdown:
If You Laugh - Rob Blackledge

Driving:
Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Flashback:
Louisiana Bayou - Dave Matthews Band

Getting Back Together:
Hey Girl - OAR

Wedding:
Afro-Blue (Live) - John Coltrane

Sex Scene:
Breathless - Corinne Bailey Rae

Birth of Child:
Kathy's Song (Live) - Simon & Garfunkel

Final Battle:
Pictures of Success - Rilo Kiley

Death Scene:
Hello Birmingham - Ani DiFranco

Funeral Song:
Candy's Room - Bruce Springsteen

Dance Sequence:
White Houses - Vanessa Carlton

End Credits:
Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street? - Bruce Springsteen

And she still doesn't have what she deserves, but she wakes up smiling every day.

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:52:36 GMT

I can't stop listening to the old Ani DiFranco albums, like up to 1993 or 1994. She is only a little older than me in these recordings and it's so inspiring. "Imperfectly" as a whole, really.
I've been writing again. You'll see.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 22:35:10 GMT

The Police
Tool
Widespread Panic
The White Stripes
Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
Wilco
The Flaming Lips
MANU CHAO Radio Bemba Sound System
The String Cheese Incident
Franz Ferdinand
Bob Weir & Ratdog
Damien Rice
Ween
Gov't Mule
Ziggy Marley
The Decemberists
Kings of Leon
Michael Franti & Spearhead
Wolfmother
Regina Spektor
The Black Keys
Galactic
DJ Shadow
Gillian Welch
Spoon
Keller Williams (WMD'S)
Sasha & John Digweed
STS9
Old Crow Medicine Show
The Hold Steady
Lily Allen
North Mississippi Allstars
Fountains Of Wayne
Hot Tuna
Feist
Hot Chip
John Butler Trio
Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys
Aesop Rock
The Richard Thompson Band
Dierks Bentley
James Blood Ulmer
Xavier Rudd
Gogol Bordello
Junior Brown
Tortoise
T-Bone Burnett
Mavis Staples
Clutch
Cold War Kids
Dr. Dog
Paolo Nutini
Brazilian Girls
RX Bandits
The Nightwatchman
The Slip
Girl Talk
Railroad Earth
Martha Wainwright
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Annuals
Tea Leaf Green
Sam Roberts Band
Elvis Perkins in Dearland
Charlie Louvin
Sonya Kitchell
Mute Math
Apollo Sunshine
Uncle Earl
The National
The Little Ones
Black Angels
Ryan Shaw
Lewis Black & Friends
Dave Attell
David Cross

Bonnaroo is in Manchester, TN June 14, 15, 16, and 17, 2007. Who's coming with me (aside from Bunny, who does not have a choice in the matter because I said so)?

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 23:49:12 GMT

I. Post a comment
II. I give you a letter
III. Post an entry with 10 things you love that start with that letter.

I was given the letter F.

1. Foals (baby horses)
2. Fingers curled through belt loops
3. the Format
4. "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor
5. Friends (the people and the show)
6. French fries
7. Fires
8. Forman, Chandler
9. Feeling loved
10. FRANTIC TYPING!!! KJDSFSALFUWENVSLKJVNSFPFUNAINDS

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 00:06:23 GMT

All I really did over break was sit around with my friends, punctuating our laughter with a pull from a stiff drink or a cigarette or, sometimes, a hookah. I burned my shoes, stopped sleeping, and was told by the old hippie I babysit for that the bruise on my neck is a "love bite," something I should "appreciate now because they stop happening when you get older" (I blushed and flipped my hair to cover it).
I spent my days with that beautiful little girl who I saw grow from an infant to a toddler (her third birthday is in a month and I can't stop wondering where the time has gone and marveling at how big she is) and my nights laughing and hugging and kissing and forgetting that anything was ever bad.
I'm not ready to go back.

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 15:51:36 GMT

Anyone who reads this, post a comment and hit Ctrl+V, and nothing else. Just paste what's in your clipboard.

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 05:16:57 GMT

Right now, I am so happy. Happier than I have been in ages. So quit walking on eggshells around me. Thanks.

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 09:02:39 GMT

I was almost, almost disappointed in you tonight, but don't worry. I know now that there isn't any point in that. I thought about it, about how if I let it, this could actually affect me. Fuck me up a little bit, make my life a little more negative (even if it would only be a little). But you know what? Fuck that. I would rather ignore you and be happy than be disappointed and sad, just like you would rather fuck with good people's emotions than actually risk your own. And that's fine. Maybe one day, you'll grow the fuck up. I was foolish to think that you actually had.

I'm not going to waste my time anymore on people who have a negative impact on my day. I'm not going to waste my breath on someone who is thinking about who they would rather be talking to. And I'm certainly not going to invest myself in someone who is going to bail on me when I need them. If I tell you something I'm excited about, I don't want to hear why it will fail. If we're out having a good time, I don't need to hear why it's not good enough.

Just be honest with me. I don't need you to pretend to be my friend if you really don't care anymore.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 03:06:00 GMT

1. Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet
2. Ani DiFranco - Good, Bad, Ugly
3. Amy Fairchild - Mr. Heart
4. Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine
5. Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla
6. Ben Gibbard - You Remind Me of Home
7. Ani DiFranco - Served Faithfully
8. Death Cab for Cutie - Marching Bands of Manhattan
9. Rilo Kiley - The Absence of God
10. The Weakerthans - Slips and Tangles
11. Ani DiFranco - Manhole
12. The Format - If Work Permits
13. Regina Spektor - Fidelity
14. Tegan & Sara - I Won't Be Left
15. The Weakerthans - My Favourite Chords
16. Ani DiFranco - 78% Water (Live)
17. Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
18. The Weakerthans - This is a Fire Door Never Leave Open
19. Death Cab for Cutie - Crooked Teeth
20. Elliott Smith - Pretty (Ugly Before)
21. The Format - Inches & Falling
22. The Weakerthans - Aside
23. The Format - Pick Me Up (Live)
24. Tegan & Sara - And Darling
25. The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving

I am going to drive around from start to finish.

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 02:50:50 GMT

You remind me of home:
The paint cracks when the water leaks from the rusty pipes that are just beneath my feet.

You remind me of home:
The heater's warm but fills the room with a potpourri of dust and gas fumes.

You remind me of home:
A broken bed with dirty sheets that creaks when I am shifting in my sleep

You remind me of home:
In a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen.

But the foundation is crumbling and becoming one with the ground
While you lay there in slumber. You're wasting your life.

You remind me of home:
Sitting on a thrift store couch, I'm trying to get this all down.

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:03:32 GMT

I went outside with Alli just now, and there was a pack of Djarum Bali Hai's on the bench. So I checked it, obviously, to see if there were any left. There was one. So I lit it (again, obviously). I had hardly taken a haul when this girl, Dee, who lives across the hall walked over and said, "Is that a Bali Hai? I left mine over here a minute ago..." and I couldn't do it. I handed it over and offered her a Turkish Gold and felt like the biggest jackass ever.

But at least I'm honest...?

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 22:09:29 GMT

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for _whatallisnice

get your stocking

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 00:02:33 GMT

Harry and the Potters was the best way to spend my Sunday.

I guess I'll write my paper now.

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 23:58:58 GMT

Hah.

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:43:22 GMT

Third post today. You love it. Anyway, I need to order a winter coat. I want a peacoat of the longer variety, houndstooth or camel hair. Anyone know where I shoul look?

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:13:07 GMT

Did it last year, so I'll do it again this year...
The first line of the first post of each month, and the last line of the last post of each month.

January
I have some pretty good friends, only a few more months before graduation, and then I'm going to Boston for school.

...

I still miss certain things, but I don't think I'll miss them forever (I'm not sure if that means they'll come back or if it means there will be replacement. I know which one I want it to mean, though).

February
i've been driving around chain smoking listening to the same 15 songs.

...

Let's hear it for that.

March
"Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)."
-milan kundera, the unbearable lightness of being

...

I just want this part to be done.

April
Today I went to Boston with my mom for Accepted Students' Day at Emmanuel.

...

Say goodbye.

May
Imagine saying goodbye to your best friend.

...

I hope that when it comes time for me to leave, I'll be ready.

June
The fact that we're graduating tomorrow is so utterly fucked I don't really know what else to say about it.

...

But I will do it, because I need to learn to love myself the way Heidi loves me, the way Spice loves me. Unconditionally.

July
I make really hilarious decisions.

...

"You smell like my Gramma Gigi."

August
I was with Katy, Sean, and Steve for about 12 hours today, but we only spent 3 of them at Warped Tour.

...

We had a good run.

September
My biggest concern about going to school is not having a computer and thus not having a means of contact with my friends from home. (note: I was lying.)

...

and who knows, it might even make you feel better.

October
I really wish I was in my bed right now, but I know that if I got into bed I wouldn't get out of it in time for my next (and last!) class.

...

Here's hoping that some day I will pick up a pen again.

November
There's this boy who I have been kissing for years now, and he has this wonderful ability to make my day better.

...

Boys are so stupid.

December
My dad told me he doesn't want me to come home on weekends anymore.

...
Just something I've been thinking about.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:03:08 GMT

I got back to school a few hours ago, and Alli just woke up to shower so I turned the light on...
There are fuzzy purple handcuffs under her bed.

Hahahahhahahaha I wonder if she'll say anything.

Edit
9:36 PM
I woke up from a nap and the handcuffs were gone. She didn't say anything about them, either.