Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

The only broken hearted loser you'll ever need.

2005-07-06T00:50:39Z

Well, so far this summer I can't determine if its been eventful or not. By eventful I mean but and adventurous. None of my friends call me and I know what your thinking, Ha what a loser! Yea I probably am a loser. But anyways Litterally, none of my friends call me. It's quite annoying how fake they are and how they think they can get away with it. I really would like to avoid naming names although I'd love to put them out in the open. all of a sudden with them its like i'm no good. I'm seriously like embarssed to call them,scared to be turned down because it's happend far to many times. And i know in a couple months when i get my lisence they won't think twice about being my friend. I refuse to let them walk all over me. My friendship is worth having i believe im honest, kind and caring. I bend backwards for my friends. That's something i feel very strong about.
Having a long term relationship in the summer defiently has its ups and downs. Mostly ups i guess though. Zach is always there to comfort me except when he is the one who upsets me. Me and him try to find our on fun. He really doesn't talk to our friends either anymore. they are snobby. He works like 10 hours a day at his families bussiness. This fourth of July weekend was pretty fun. I went to Zach's family cotage down in southern marlyand. We went tubing and swimming. It was a nice chance to get away from him working and stuff. We saw fireworks and stuff. The water was really pretty and it gave me time to just sit and think about what I want to make of this life. Heres what i determined, All bodies of water are full of unknown things but that doesn't stop us from getting in. So I'm going to make the most of this summer and just do everything that is offered to me. I have to many things to look forward to this summer to be down and depressed. I leave for France on July. 18th. Thats my get away. i'm hoping to come back changed. A new outlook on everything. I just want a life that's careless and fun. I want my friends to be real friends. And I want my friendship to be values because I sure do value yours. And to all my "friends", Please don't ever forget who was there first.

All my love,

megan

_weatherveins @ 2005-06-16T21:38:00

2005-06-17T01:38:53Z

This love only seems to go one way.

straight from me to you.

There is no line of love traced back to me.

I'm lost and i can't find myself.

The city lights go on for miles

and i can't find my way home.

The truth is he brings the sun,

where ever he may be.

_weatherveins @ 2005-06-15T15:51:00

2005-06-15T19:51:20Z

summer is already boring

_weatherveins @ 2005-06-05T11:10:00

2005-06-05T15:15:20Z

<img http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/alexandjij http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/alexandme.jpgo.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/allieandbernard.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/bandz.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/bestfriends.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/bestfriends.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/brettlookinghandsom.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/zwmk123/zandb.jpg

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-20T21:15:00

2005-04-21T01:16:15Z

yea i think im done with LJ no one is doing anything...its all about myspace now lol

Driftwood

2005-04-17T21:28:02Z

things use to be perfect, or i thought they were at least.
things are falling apart at the times i need them most,
this was never suppose to happen.
I'm lost in this puzzle and I can't find my way out.
These walls are closing in on me and I'm suffocating.

Everything has been so difficult lately in my life and it sucks. I just want to be happy. Its something i strive for. wish gets me know where. I'll just have to wait and find out what happens at the end.

h to the c...how gay am i?

2005-04-17T18:24:51Z

You scored as hardcore emo. you are a hardcore emo kid. you wear black and love to hardcore dance. if the song doesn't break down at some point, you don't like it. you listen to it dies today, poison the well, and the bled.

</td>

hardcore emo

60%

poppy emo

50%

geek emo

30%

metal emo

20%

depressed emo

20%

chick emo

15%

what kind of emo kid are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-16T16:12:00

2005-04-16T20:12:49Z

You scored as Regina.

</td>

Regina

70%

Karen

65%

Gretchen

55%

Aaron

55%

Damian

45%

Bethany

45%

Cady

35%

Kevin *KG*

25%

Ms. Norbury

20%

Mrs. George

10%

Crying Girl

10%

Mr. Duvall

10%

Janis

Which Mean Girls Character Are You? lots of possibilities!
created with QuizFarm.com

This is for my bestfriend who are the biggest sluts at tuscarora high school, love you bitches!!!!
lorin. Christine. Alex

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-16T09:45:00

2005-04-16T13:49:30Z

Friday was fun. Me, zach, jiji, bernard, alex, and kody went to swim at the Holiday inn. It was pretty fun. After that iwent to alex's to get ready and zach and bernard picked us up and brought us to Bernards. then i went home because I'm super tired. i think i might be going to hang out with ryan today. i hope thats the case. g2g bye.

megan

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-13T20:51:00

2005-04-14T01:12:25Z

This week is dragging. Every night i sleep well really good but when i wake the sleep that i just got wasn't enough. I'm practically falling asleep in all my classes. i'm falling behind in science. I'm really sore from dance on top of my tiredness.
My mom is really concerned she says she hates seeing me like this... but do you honestly think i like being like this to? I'm putting my relationship with Zach in danger just because I'm not in a good mood. I do love him with all my heart. Just i need some room. This goes for everyone. I'm sorry.
I just don't care as much anymore and its scary. The old me from 8th grade feelings like its creeping up on me. and I don't have anyone to walk by myside like i did last year. no one this years knows what happend besides al and gleb and al has her own thing and gleb goes to frederick. I still talk to them but it isn't the same. I cannot even tell Zach and i don't dare get into it. I don't say that to offend him either me and his thought processes are different.
Summer couldn't come sooner. I need a break. I'm going to France. I cannot wait. I've always wanted to live somewhere besides America because I hate it so much. I had plans with a friend to move to Romania someday. And we told each other that that only things we would need would be food, a desk, and instuments. So all we needed in life was a friendship music an endless suply of paper and ink. And we would spend our lives writing and making music. It use to sound perfect. My abilty to play classical music floated away with the music i use to play and the writing doesn't come to mind easily not even times like this. The only thing thats keeping me from totally going over the edge right now is music. My mom tells me to go outside for a walk to get some fresh air that maybe it will make me happy but i just told her im content it sitting in my room writing. And i really am. I have a lot going for me. i got a good life. this shit needs to stop.

a day in the life of megan kelly

2005-04-13T21:01:30Z

Things are totally chaotic.

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-11T20:45:00

2005-04-12T01:12:45Z

Hello. I'm finally starting to feel a little better. My whole head is congested and my right eye keeps watering lol. Its the strangest thing.
I really need to start focusing on school. English is a piece of cake i just have to do useless things. French comes pretty easy to me but icp? Oh my god! its complete hell. I like need to study for 8 hours tomorrow for a test. i cant catch a break.
Me and zach are good. Which is a really good thing. Although I feel like i havent really been there for him and that makes me sad. I want him to know i love him and that im really there for him. The subject of college was brought up today and as always my heart raced through the whole conversation. i'm just going to wait until that time comes...

megan

Hello

2005-04-10T19:29:47Z

So... this weekend didn't turn out tooo bad. Besides the fact I was really sick and lost my phone.
I'm feeling better than i have felt the past two days. My dad replaced my phone. It will be here tuesday or wednesday. So I'm going to have to get everyones # again to put into my phone. what a pain in the ass it is to load at the #'s again. I got a new computer too! its black and pretty. I didn't go to any of the shows this weekend due to my health. i had trouble jsut walking around the mall. I'm jsut so warn out. Oh well right now im waiting for zach to call me so he can take me to get some food. im gone.

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-09T09:09:00

2005-04-09T13:09:54Z

im sick.
i lost my phone.
My dad bought me another phone.
it will be here tuesday or wednesday.

bye

_weatherveins @ 2005-04-05T09:18:00

2005-04-05T13:21:18Z

hidden in plain veiw was aweome
less than jake kicked ass
and allister sucked.

my brother got drunk off his ass and got lost in the crowd he claims a 16 year old kid fel lon his foot and he is at the ER right now. Zach had a good time and that made me happy as well. Im not going to school today although i probably should. well im going bye

boo!

2005-03-31T00:34:01Z

I had the chance so I figured I'd just update. This week has been going really slow but at least we have the rest of the week as half days. School is so stressful. Sorry to be a complainer. anyways.

some lady cut me and zach off today on the way to school and i thought we were going to die. bitch. lol. after school zach and me met up with bernard alex and jiji at mcdonalds. after that we went to bernards house and hung outside with kody, travis, micheal matt and some other younger kids. it was fun its soo much better with warmer weather. im really happy spring is here :). the skate park opened back up and we always had good fun there.

music for unity is saturday and im really excited for that. the only shows lately i have been to are the mudd puddle shows. thennn i have this coming monday LESS THAN JAKE, ALLISTEr and hidden in plain veiw. yay! LESS THAN JAKE ISN'T GAY EITHER AND IF YOU THINK SO DON'T POST OF MY FUCKIN JOURNAL COCK SUCKER.

LOVE YOU MEGAN

sorry!

2005-03-28T15:46:44Z

home sweet home!

i got back from new york yesterday. it was a lot of fun i would post a big long entry about it but i to lazy. i got an i pod mini though! its blue...and pretty. i love it!

seeing zach again was good i missed him a whole lot and it made me realize i really need him.

i wont be updating a lot and im sorry my computer in my room is broken. I'm going to go get it fixed though so sorry. its not like there is anything intresting to read here anyways.

missed you all

megan

_weatherveins @ 2005-03-16T20:59:00

2005-03-17T02:00:39Z

guess what bitchez!

I'm going to see less than jake at the 9.30 club on April 4th.

yay! and spring break is alllmosttt here!

confusion.

2005-03-15T01:54:42Z

What i want is a question that runs through my mind endlessly.
This confusion have yet to become clarity. so what do i want? I know I want honesty. how can i say that? I'm not even honest to my self. My past cannot be forgotten, for i am reminded of it everyday. Its a constant battle everyday.I know you always promised to be there but i am sick of promises.I have so many promises that I have broken. The biggest one, trying not to care so much. Then there are the smaller things. Things just get old. Somedays I just want to run and the wind against my face would feel so relieving. Soon enough it would just get old and I'd get tired, turn around and walk back. Running from my fears gets old. Music never gets old. Never. Its very well possible that music is the most beautiful thing ever created. Most of the musicians of my favorite bands i have to thank for my presense still here on earth. I also thank the scientist of physics. Otherwises, everything gets old, friends, talking, school, life, everything and now writing is old.

I'm done rambling.

megan+

it was a chemical thing.

2005-03-14T02:18:39Z

A thousand random thoughts and memories flowing through my mind. That need to be put out. Writen on paper for all to see.
"Do you think that there will ever be the chance of you loving me? Are you Okay?" He nudged her shoulder.
" the only love I know is chemical." she said.
It's like I'm two different people. I think differently when the chemical is on me...
And i almost like it. Isn't that scary? Maybe all I need is chemical love. But I want his love.
I don't want my love to be all trips.
love isn't as in, love the feeling of the sex. love is the person your touching...
and the feeling of the touch you get from that one special person. theres a difference.
Most people should learn it.
"Do you believe in love?"...she asked
he awnsered, " I'm staring at it. Love is in my eyes."
"Why do you do it?" he wispered in her ear.
"Because it makes me feel like I'm beautiful." she said.
What happens when I don't want to do this any more? what happens when the beauty over comes my life and leaves me dead? I thought. guess I just can't deal with things. I solve problems with more problems.
Cutting. failed dreams.
dying Dying on the inside first.
Dying.
What happens when you get tired of living, because it's the same thing every day?
Because it's the same thing every night. It's the same car, and the same road, and the same song.
It feels like I miss someone, but there's no one worth missing.
One day you will wake up in the arms of this one person you love more than your life and you will know what all this suffering and loneliness was for - and that it was worth it.
If you make only one person smile for only one short moment.

blah

2005-03-13T23:27:27Z

TODAY i woke up with a horrible headache got dressed and zach came over so we could help my brother kevin move. He moved to Baltimore. It place was nice. After we got back to frederick we ate then went to get my paint for my room. That made me excited. I picked out a lime green. My bed stuff is polka dots lol. When my room gets done and everything i will post pictures of it. I got to go for now.

megan

a day in the life

2005-03-13T01:59:26Z

hey today was pretty boring. I layed around until about 3 and went to get my eye brows wed and to pretzel creatioin. then i got home and zach got off work and we went to the mall. I saw baker and nathan. that was cool. I bought norma Jean. its really good. Zach left though, he had to watch his little sister and brother. his parents are so strict and he is in 11th grade. i dont understand it. he gets his license monday. that will make things better. i got to go. I wrote something. Therte isn't really a hidden message behind it, i just felt like writing.

feel free to comment.

megan

a day in the life

it was a cool afternoon that day i told you there would never be "us".
I walked away thinking you took it extremely well.
your parents were out of town and i told you i'd be back that night.
You were uptight, always took the safeway.
I took chances and we balanced each other out.
I showed you how to have a good time and
you showed me when enough was enough
that night you slipped my mind.
I heard colors and saw sounds and you waited by the phone,
hoping to hear from me.
words i once said fell from your mouth, 'i will never leave you waiting'
The next day i showed up to house house hoping you would forgive me from the night before.
No answer.i welcomed myself in.
i just figured you had escaped to the land of dreams.
I walked up the stairs to your room.
Then suddenly something turned wrong in my stomach as i
fell to my knees, hands covered in blood. the weapon of choice at your side
time had seemed to stop.
I shook your cold body, screaming to you wake up.
you didn't answer. I was so blind to what i was doing the night before
i finally realized there was no way to take back what i had done.
i thought.
and thought
until i made a choice.
i sent my body 6 feet into the ground.

_weatherveins @ 2005-03-11T22:57:00

2005-03-12T04:04:12Z

Hey~

Today wasn't to bad. It was the band ajudication. We scores two good ratings and one superior. I saw Gleb :). That was exciting. His band recieves and 3 lol. By the way the best score you can get is a one. After school my mom took me and zach to his work so he could get his check then we went to starbucks. He ended up coming over to my house for the entire night. it was really lovely. we watched latter49 and i hated it.
Besides all this I'm actually really pissed off. Today was the first week for my church's retreats. Ryan and corey are on the first retreat and of coarse I'm on the 2nd all by myself. I'm going to have no one there at all. my mom tried to switch dates but she is a stupid bitch and wouldnt allow it. whatever im done.

love megan

yay pictures!

2005-03-08T20:11:56Z

I love my friends!

_weatherveins @ 2005-03-07T15:12:00

2005-03-07T20:15:50Z

yesterday was alot of fun. It started off just me, bernard and alex going to BB's for breakfast. Alex had to take some pictures for photography so we went to baker park after zach got off work. We went into a whole bunch of stores downtown. Zach and bernard tried on clothes from venus on a half shell. I took pictures so if i learn how to do a lj cut i will post the pictures... They are so funny! after that we went to baker park and played on the merry go round and swings. That was a lot of fun to. I think w are going to go downtown more often and i know we will be going soon because zach and bernard wanted to buy these ugly pair of pants from venus on a half shell lol.

school sucked today. I got a 71% on the ICP test. nothing ever jsut comes easy to me. Whatever though. Although its nice to have my house to my self its actually pretty lonely. I usually come home to my mom in the day and stuff but she isnt there when i wake up or get home. I should jsut enjoy it while they are gone. Its a eally beautiful day out so i think im going to bernards with zach. ttyl

megan

happy 5 months zach.
i loveee you