we create our own reality
This morning has really sucked. Brandon is upset, I got to the gym only to discover that I had forgotten my shorts and had to turn right around and come home. The pharmacy isn't open yet, and I have to work at 1pm. Ick.

I got together with Brian Houska yesterday to talk about writing. Sometimes it pays to ask for what you want. I know that I want to write 'the book' but I have been stuck as to how to begin or how to go about doing so. We're going to try something new - a deadline. The missing of which will result in us having to buy the other lunch. As broke as we are, this is some pretty strong incentive.

He gave me some advice, if you can all it that. It was more like he threw some ideas out that I have agreed to try. He said that rather than focusing on one chapter at a time, or worrying about how it will br broken up, that I should just write what's there to write. Tell the story (like Stephen King advises in his memoir) and let that lead me. My reluctance to do this stems from my not wanting to have 300 pages of messy stuff to sort through and organize. Sounds like a nightmare. I'm not writing fiction, so it's not like I have a chronological order or a story line to guide me through the process. It's all a jumbled mess of ideas, feelings, anecdotes, and ideas. That's why it's been intimidating to start, and nearly impossible to follow. I can't gage where I am in the process and it drives me nuts - being the extremely sequential person that I am.

In other news, I'm feeling pretty physically fit today. A little anxious about not having made it to my spinning class - but I'll live.