It's like that feeling you get, when the ground collapses beneath your feet. That pause, right before your stomach drops with it. You're frozen. Waiting to fall, fall, fall and get crushed by the gravity bearing down on you. That feeling, that pause, my stomach speeding downward miles below me.
I'm weak. Mentally, emotionally, physically. And I don't know what to do. I am naught but a balled up, undefined rubber reaction. Bouncing myself off of those around me, never acting of my own accord because I can't think. Time is speeding up again and I can't seem to catch up.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. What the hell is wrong with me, that is. My moods have been all over the place this week. I can't control myself, nothing makes sense at all. I don't make sense. No convictions. Scattered, completely. I don't even know what I'm saying, or why I'm saying this when I don't expect to find any answers.
I just want to be around people, with no expectations. That's a comforting idea to me. I want to go to school, drown myself in company, but not have to talk or interact or look at anyone. Let me be and all that. Because just to know that they're there is enough. But expectations, the expectations. Do away with those for now. Not much can be demanded of me, just let me be in lethargy.