|
[24 Jan 2004|12:13pm] |
I haven't eaten anything in two straight days. I get really nauseous when I even smell most food. Nothing tastes good anymore, except for grapes and grapejuice which I'm craving all the time now. I've lost close to ten pounds.
My moods have been extremely erratic. Extremely. It's starting to scare me, even. I'm starting to make those connections again, and it's bringing my paranoia back. Time. Timing is everything. Everything is together, cause and effect, and all rolled up into these neat little packages and everything makes so much sense yet at the same time it's all so wrong. Yet right. Because it's supposed to happen, and it all happens for a reason. It's all connected.
I don't know. I need to see the doctor. They're not open on weekends. I'll have to wait until Monday, I guess...
|
|
|
[24 Jan 2004|08:15pm] |
|
( If ever there were a theme song for this week, it would certainly be this.Collapse )
Just because I sat up that Thursday morning, early early, at exactly 12:26:00am -- to the second. This was running through my head. And I knew then, from that point on, that everything would be alright. Regardless of what happens with school, with my relationships, family; regardless of the negative things that will occur eventually (and inevitably), everything will be okay.
Though my optimism faded by the end of that day, a mere twenty-four hours later, it's still been lying at the back of my mind: that tiniest grain of truth. Faith. And despite my unending anger and cynicism and resentment, I still can't drop this feeling. It's kind of nice.
|
|
_uncouth