Status report:
bed fixed
Mood:
very pleased with one's self
Next Mission:
Sleep in peace
End of Status Report

I'm a brewer. If something annoys me, I will brew on it until I slowly come to a boil and finally explode. These brewing episodes can last anywhere between 10 minutes (someone tapping a pencil in class really loudly), or a few weeks/months (someone doesn't put toilet seat down/ broken bed)
I will focus on the broken bed issue today. I am very, VERY close to a boil, and the thing is... it's been broken for about 2-3 weeks now. So much so, that a few minutes ago, I was actually contemplating not going to the washroom until the morning so that I don't have to get up and make my mattress collapse into the underneath drawer full of stuff. Basically, it's a bed frame that separates the under bed storage and mattress with these wooden planks, and these wooden planks, that have been recently replaced if you can recall from my previous rant of a few weeks ago, keep falling in in the middle because the bed kind of likes to see me squirm (best explanation I can come up with)

So anyhow, as I am very storage conscious, the under bed area is full, and I KNOW that if enough planks cave in, that the mattress will too and all my stuff will get smooshed, and my bed will be nothing more than a huge to-the-dumpster pile of ikea wood....
when the 2-5 middle planks cave in, I usually just lift up my (very heavy) mattress and put them back, only to have them collapse as I try to get on the bed.
What happens is that if I make a sudden move, it caves in, if I apply pressure in the wrong place, cave in, and therefore going to the bathroom is a complete test of wills between me and the bed. I can't take it any more!!! unfortunately, as a brewer, unless I am at that boiling point, about to explode, with the issue occupying all my worrying capacity, the problem will receive no attention during the time it can be fixed (day time).
I'll get it fixed tomorrow... right?

I want to say that it's ok that I haven't written anything lately because my life is so boring, but my life is fascinating. I am so happy to be me. And ever since devising a plot to bring all my friends from Israel to visit Toronto, I've been "checking out" all forms of amusement and recreation around the city.
Toronto is amazing. If I didn't have so much work and maybe had slightly more money I'd be tearing up Toronto's version of "the strip" in no time. Except I'm lazy so I stay home and hope to do laundry, but that is beside the point.
Last weekend, me and two friends, and later joined by a third friend, went to Doors Open Toronto. Obviously, the plans came together last minute because people canceled and others joined, but it turned out to be an amazing day.
When we first came out on Queen Station to go to Old City Hall, there was apparently a Green Toronto festival going on that SWITCH has heard nothing about... So we walked there for a bit and I got a few more buttons for my bag. And what do you know, right across from there was some youth theater where all these teenagers (losers)(ok, people who need volunteer hours to complete high school) were standing around in pioneer clothes, getting people to go in. We didn't go in because that would have been boring, and instead, or rather, according to plan, we went to Old City Hall, which turned out to be pretty boring inside. Also, the security lady kept telling us "we're not allowed to go there" even though there were no signs or anything.
There's also this mystical labyrinth (apparently) in the midst of Toronto where people go to experience a journey of self discovery on their lunch breaks. It was lamer than we ever expected, but we ended up having fun anyways.
After the Labyrinth, we got a bit over ambitious and decided to walk to St James Church. Good thing a street car came and rescued us (ok, me) and we go there just in time to miss a tour. However, this didn't phase us as we just went to grab some food in a nearby Mexican (?) place and had a lovely lunch in the beautiful park by the church. We fed birds with my chips and took pictures.
And may I just say, the weather was beautiful! Not to hot and not too cold but sunny with blue sky which provided the best conditions for pictures and breathing.
Anyhow, the tour was surprisingly interesting. They took us to the bell tower and told us all about bells (exciting, I know!) and after we got down, we even got a chance to try and ring one of them, although we didn't succeed... Supposedly, we didn't "feel" the bell. (Oh my gosh, Hairspray moment)
So moving on, we decided to go to some building that has many floors so we could see all of downtown and take more pictures, but when we got there they were already closing for the last tour. So after taking pictures with random cow statues (yes, cows), we hurried off to the costume warehouse.
We only had half an hour but we still got to go through most of it and see some really pretty costumes. We also got to try some on, which was the funnest part. Although we were blocking everyone's way while we were trying them on, I think we still got the full experience.
After such a long day (Doors Open was over for the day) we went to China Town and bought some bubble tea to toast the success of the day's adventures. We were also hungry so we went to some pub and got very good food actually. I must go back there and try other things on the menu.
Later, we met up with another friend of mine and spent some time at the waterfront waiting for our ferry to Center Island. On the island, we went to The Maze and then to that pier at the very end and made fun of some couple that was having a romantic magical time. Not to their face of course.
After that, finally took the subway home, but instead of actually going home, I went to my friend's house to watch a movie (Bad Cop, Bon Cop is hilariously Canadian) and then, finally, at around 3 at night, me and a friend finally went to my house.
So there you have it. Come next year and we'll go both days.
Hopefully this post wasn't too pointless

Everybody, I have some wonderful news. I am officially going insane. Do not worry your pretty heads about it though, we all know it's temporary. All I need to do is get my "fix" of whatever it is I'm obsessing about this week (it's not drugs, ok?) and everything will be back to normal and I will stop using my very squeaky very fast voice on the phone (sorry), or in person, (double sorry).
I've done things other than be crazy too. My life is fascinating, but unfortunately, I am unable to write coherently about my daily life for reasons only my closest personal friends (and possibly the guy who overheard us on the subway) know.
Then, I also embarrassed myself in front of the mayor of Toronto. Doesn't mayor remind you of mayo? I love mayo. I also used to love my dignity which now lies, crushed, in some ditch downtown. Or maybe it's hiding from me because it's scared... I don't know.

Also, since I am watching Scrubs, more like marathoning (new word) it, I am becoming more spacey (I want to say spicy), like JD, and more crazy (and possibly more attractive) like Elliot. But I am ok with it because I still smell nice.

I like lemons

Time moves really slowly in Israel. It doesn't drag, but when I glance at the clock, only 4 minutes have passed, instead of my assumed 30. I like it. I enjoy the flow of time when it's not speeding forward, like it does in Canada.

I know I haven't written in about eternity, but I was out having TONS of fun. I mean, loads and loads of fun. So much in fact, it barely fits in my pocket (metaphorically speaking). I will not go into a whole lot of detail about this fun, but I will sum it up quickly by using code language and skipping all the parts that incriminate me in some way (there aren't any, but I think it makes me sound dangerous)
First, out with Dina and friends. There was a challenge, uncontrollable laughter and a walk past the devil's lair.
Next day, reading (yes, it WAS awesome), ring buying, old-people party, alcohol, *mumble, mumble, mumble*, awesomeness.
Next day, mini-reunion at Rakefet, and Michal was there, then left, we went for walk and met Shira, then Mira picked me up to go to her house.
Lots of gossiping, met her boyfriend (very nice guy), met her friends, went out (very late), ate at a place that still sells bread on Passover, then "sleep". We talked for 2 hours I think.
Yesterday, we went to the sea (yay) and it was really nice, because I look super hot in my new bathing suit, oh and also it was the sea, so obviously it was awesome. Then I went to grandma's to celebrate Passover.

Passover was so darn boring!!! I almost fell asleep and starved (in that order). I forgot how torturous the whole experience was until I was reminded last night. My grandpa decided to do his own version of the Seder and all I remember is that it involved a whole lot of talking and not enough drinking. Then we revolted and he got a bit upset, but that's a small price to pay for my sanity. Other than that it was a lovely evening.

I will go to Rehovot again today as soon as I finish like a gazillion errands in Ashdod.

Happy Passover

I love being a tourist. Especially in a place I've already been to. I'm not exactly a tourist here, but there are so many perks to being the kind of guest I am. Every place I go, people make me comfortable, feed me, and take me fun places. I am really enjoying it.
I'm living at Dina's right now and since she's getting a job in a sushi restaurant, she has to "practice". Could I get any luckier? I think not. I also like living at Dina's because I can walk around in my underwear when it gets really hot, like today. I really like the heat though.

While Dina had her driving test today (which she passed)(hurray!), I went to a nail salon, and after the 3rd place, we finally found one that removes the kind of nails I was decorated with. I was left there, and after 25 minutes and 20 shekels (I would have payed 50), I was finally free.
Just to put things in perspective, last night, I soaked 2 fingers for 3 hours before the nails came off. I then felt despair and feared I shall be cursed with the ugliness of the nails for the rest of my life. Then Dina slapped me and I came back to Reality Land, and realized I'll go to the salon the next day and get rid of them.

I ended up walking around for 2 hours, taking pictures of places and laying on shaded grass patches. I stopped by the cake place that used to have the only cake I eat, and they said they stopped making it. I don't know what I will do now... I have dirty, chocolate covered dreams about that cake that still haunt me. All my dreams are dead. :(

I had another dream crushing experience last night. I found out that a favorite childhood snack of mine, Krembo, is seasonal. "WTH???", you may ask, well, I asked the same thing. How can a snack filled with fluffiness, covered in chocolate on top of a cookie be seasonal is beyond my comprehension. Ice cream can be seasonal. Some vegetables SHOULD be seasonal. But candy??? No!! I am now at odds with the candy company.

Moving on to something completely irrelevant, I have acquired at least 3 mosquito bites that I know of so far, but I am actually itchy all over right now, which can't be good.
Dina and I went to the store and we got... Wait for it... Milki that is WHIPPED CREAM ONLY!!!! I am guilty just looking at it. It's so very delicious. I think it tastes a bit like clouds. Or maybe it's made out of children's laughter. Mmmmmmmm.... mmmmm... mmmmm.... Yea, ok, I'll just have one.

Continuing on with this randomness filled blog, Dina has a Literature exam tomorrow, and for some reason (well, actually the reason is that she most likely doesn't go to class or sleeps there) she doesn't know the material. I am responsible for her studying, and although I dragged her out of the house for some food (macaroni with mushroom "sauce")(the sauce was very soup-like but highly delicious), I now need to keep making sure she is studying and not wasting her time, like writing a blog or something.

Too conclude- I am having an awesome time. Let me know if you want anything from Israel (Written by Dina since Tanya is failing in her duties, keeping me studying....Failure!)

I said to myself, "Tan, Sunday you'll rest up from the long week you've had and prepare for the longer one ahead..." Then I go off and betray myself by not coming back to the house until 11 PM. I don't know how I ever believe me.

So I hung out with Michal yesterday and we had fun. We went to see Horton Hears a Who, and it was just as good this time around, and we laughed, and drooled at the Narnia: Prince Caspian trailer together, so yea, it was nice. We went to the sea to collect stones and there was that funny moment when my pants kept falling down because I ended up putting the stones in my pockets, but thankfully, they stayed put, although slightly moister and sandier. There was also the man in the speedo, but I'd rather forget that...
I finally bought backpacks that are awesome and have acquired a new motto for my shopping philosophy here in Israel; "If we don't have this in Canada, I will regret not buying it later so I better". When they check my bag at the airport on our way back, they're going to think I'm a terrorist for sure. All the craft glue, spice packets, rocks, and other highly miscellaneous crap looks very incriminating when put all together.

I was put on the train at 10:06, but not before picking up a package from my Mgrandma's internet friend (I know, she's so lj-savvy now) to take to Canada. Nice to know my grandma's making new friends.

I came to Ashdod last night at about 12:30 AM and then stayed up for an hour and a half talking to my grandparents. In the morning, all I wanted to do was sleep, so I couldn't really write and just stared at the wall in that state of sleeplessness. My lovely Mgrandma (I now know how good I have it) decided to probably cheer me up (I was just tired), so anyway, she decided to take me to visit her friend who has an apartment by the sea with a great view so I could take pictures.
We went, of course, and came back at five, but before that, I've achieved a great feat with the support of grandmas M and S. We sorted through the clothes I brought back from Dgrandma and picked out the half (or more) of the ugly ones. I have to say though, out of the 5 thousand things she bought me, I think I will actually wear, or give away (I think the nice jeans would fit on my mom), almost 10 pieces I think, which is an improvement from 1 (the fruits of our last meeting).

So I took about 100 more photos of Ashdod, and I'm not a big architecture photographer, but I think a few photos came out very nice (will facebook later).
I stopped by at my Sgrandparents' place (conveniently located next door to Mgrandparents' place) and I was invited to dinner somewhere, so I decided to go (free food). So the food was nice and so were the people who invited us over for asking questions about moving to Canada, which I liked answering. Then I have all these other things my Mgrandparents want me to do for them before I leave, so I only got to the computer at 12-something... I should really plan this stuff better.

I should maybe stop talking back to my Sgrandpa, but I'm always to tempted to resist. He's pretty mean sometimes, but I take it everything he says is a joke, so I take it more as a challenge of wits, which I allow him to "win" sometimes, but really, I put him in his place. I DO need my exercise. My tongue isn't getting any sharper, you know.

I was given the job (or rather, I offered) to get my Mgrandpa a logo for his scientific website. Designing it is no problem, I do that stuff, but it's the "doing it on the computer" part that I'm no good at, so now I will send my (awesome) sketch to a few artistic people and they'll hopefully muster something up. I love having 'people'.

Now, I KNOW I need to go to sleep now, but I'm listening to such great music that I'd rather dance and sing instead of sleep. I still have to travel to Rehovot tomorrow and obviously I haven't packed, I still need to shower, and do all that stuff for my grandparents, and also go and finally take pictures of my old kindergarten and school in Ashdod, whch should just be enough stuff for me to do if I wake up at seven and plan to leave at twelve.

That seems a bit tight actually, maybe twelve thirty then...

Funny how a trip from almost one end of the country to another would take me 4 hours with a 45 minute layover somewhere in the middle. I love Israel.
I FINALLY left my Dgrandma's house today and headed off to Haifa. She almost didn't let me go by making me explain computer things to her. Honestly, attaching a file, especially on Gmail is not so hard!

I am now at Michal's house and Noga is also here, which is really cool since I didn't really keep in touch with her and wasn't going to see her but now we get to bond.
I did not recognize Michal's brothers. They're HUGE. I remember when they were these annoying little shorties running around and annoying us, but now (although I'm sure they still indulge in the latter) they paint and do physics and stuff, and have a really deep voice... Ahhh, time...
And of course, her little sister. We went to her birthday party (she turned 7 on April 9th) which was a private trip in the zoo for her and her friends, which was obviously awesome. And then, we had a family dinner where she couldn't stop chatting me up in that language that children speak and nobody can understand what they are saying when they're so excited. I decided to nod a lot and grab my chances on commenting on things I understood (she also had food in her mouth).

We went to see Juno (again, yes) and enjoyed it thouroughly. I think it's becoming this trip's theme movie. I don't mind, but I sure hope some new movies come out here soon.

I do wish I had the time and energy to write something other than what I'm doing, step-by-step, but I fear my observational writings will have to wait until after the trip. I am just having too much fun.

Facebook albums to come soon (1 today)

I learned something today. If you have one psycho person in your family, the rest have to be awesome to make up for it.
For those who haven't been following my train of thought, the psycho person is my Dgrandma. How should I put this? Overbearing, controlling, loud, (Jewish), demanding, conceited, and self-righteous. She also tries to stuff me like a turkey.
I take this abuse (in some placed called "love") and tolerate it. Occasionally raise my voice in protest, but mostly, I surrender my will and soul.

However, today was my Dgrandpa's birthday which means my uncle and his family came to visit in the evening. I have three girl cousins!! They are 9, 7, and a baby (9 months), and they're all so cute, with the most beautiful eyes. The middle one, Michal, liked me right away, ESPECIALLY after she just LOVED her present. She's the hyperactive one. And really, really funny.
The older one had a bit of allergies and seemed a bit distant, but we can get over it... I feel bad leaving them here alone with grandma but what can you do? I've payed my dues. Maybe I can just come to Jerusalem before I leave and see the girls again.
The baby is also hilarious. A bit wobbly, but her baby-fat is adorable! I want to squeeze it... Muahaha...
My uncle and his wife were such a good relief from my grandma. We didn't gang up on her per-say, but they understand my woes. I can't believed I survived this that long.

I will write more tomorrow, but right now I must go charm little girls with my jokes and "magic tricks". What? I have 8 fingers sometimes...

I swear, I didn't want to but I was forced. With guilt! Sure, I love her, she IS family, but things like the following make me doubt my loyalty to the blood line. My DGrandma decided to do something "special" for me and so she took me to a nail salon and I (alone) got a pedicure and a manicure. Since I have perfect feet, the pedicure went fine, but since I bite my nails (it's stress) the nail lady had to "grow" fake ones. Now let's see. The following things are now difficult: typing, taking off my pants/putting them on (washroom related), sewing (yeah, I'm also cheap slave labour here), peeling bananas, opening things with zippers, pressing buttons, and basically holding ANYTHING. There are more things I am now too handicapped (ha! get it?) to do but they're to depressing to even type up.
So that was today, and yesterday, when I arrived, all exhausted and gloomy (at the idea of being here), my dgrandma decided to immidiately put me to work. By work I mean trying on the clothes she bought me. Normally, I'd take one for the team and try them all on and agree with my grandma about how great everything looks one me, but people, where to begin???? First, there were more clothes there than I brought on this trip, second, more than 90% have only one place to go to: donation/bon-fire. And Third, where on Earth are high waisted pants in??? WHERE??? MAYBE not low rise, I can understand... But I can't see my bellybutton!!! What is that??? Is it some sort of vengence on me for not calling??? Some way for her to say, "see what happens when you don't tell me what 'kids are wearing these days'"??? I can not believe it.
I can't say NO to my grandparents, but I managed (somehow) to get rid of about half the pile and it's still a full suitcase. I don't understand what I ever did... Anyhow, we also ate. If I am not mistaken, a 4 course meal. I'm not quite sure since I lost conciousness at the second one (no, I kid... But I was about to) but I had to actually yell for her not to feed me any more. She took the news of me not eating sweets much better than I expected, she didn't cry, although I saw my obvious betrayl in her eyes.
So basically, I got there at about 4-something yesterday, then we ate, and at around 7 we finished trying on the high-waisted pants and hand-knitted sweaters and ponchos and various other morbidly ugly clothing. At 7:20 I (thank the stars) went for a nap and sadly woke up. The following morning at 7 ,but I "got up", at 9, we had another humungous breakfest, and my grandma and I just ended up sitting and her talking to me until the nail appointment.
We were sitting (and doing my nails) for 3 and a half hours. I can tell you why it took so long too. In a little town where everyone is related (I mean it, EVERYONE) It's hard not to gossip. Wow, I now know a whole lot of useless, boring information about half the town.

Later, we had a guest, my Dgrandpa's cousin Michael. He actually had a sense of humour, which is a nice change from my now humourless life. Anyway, we had food (again), like 3 courses again. And I got a break when Uncle Michael took me to get flowers for my grandpa's birthday tomorrow. He (me too) was related to the florist, as well as the lady at the store where I used the washroom (his daughter actually).
We bought a really pretty "risque" bouquet. I picked the flowers that I actually liked, which I am sure my grandma would never have chosen, as my silent, but also very beautiful revenge. And she liked it. Victory is never mine.

I went to Uncle Michael's house though after the flower shopping for some (well deserved break) tea, and met Michael's daughter, who'se name is also (quite orginally) Tanya. I actually had a lovely time there. They have a chiuaua (honestly, who CAN spell that) and it was pretty cute.

In the evening, my grandma made me sow on buttons for this shirt I didn't completely hate and these pants that I will never wear, because they came with no buttons when she bought them, I guess (??). While she was finishing off the poncho that looks like road kill and I was sewing on those darned buttons, the TV was on and giving me a headacke from all the obvious trash (in Russian, no less).
I only got a chance to write when I finished absolutely all the chores my grandma instructed me to do. And my fingers now hurt because of the nails which I will attempt to scrape off at the first opprotunity.

Please someone feel sorry for me.

To sum-up: Ugly clothes (Ugly with a capital "U"), too much food that's also not good, FAKE NAILS, slavery, and GUILT. Time to go die

Rakefet made me a CD. It's the 5th Disney Classics CD, and I only have 4 of the series. I know it seems strange that I listen to this stuff, but I'm sorry to say, adults are duped when it comes to movie soundtracks, (except "Once" of course) because kids deserve the best and that's what they get. Adults get documentaries... horr(or)ay...

Anyway, I had to get my passport renewed and that went ok, but it also looks as though my US visa also expires with my passport. I guess no States for me for the next two years... Damn you, paper work!

I basically did nothing on Monday other than go to the passport office and buy a Happy Tree Friends sweatshirt. Well, I also went to an amazing bead store and got some stuff, but on the whole, I just wasn't feeling too hot so I slept a lot.

But yesterday! First I went for a walk around Ashdod with my grandma, who is such a nice lady. I'm really glad we can spend time together now. Although sometimes she likes to go off to the "story with no point" land but I still like it. The key is to wait for the right moment and say I've already heard it (I probably did).

I then got on the bus to Rehovot. It cost me about $2. So a bus ticket basically. I can't believe it's so cheap to go from city to city. I wonder how much the train will cost me. So on to my point...
I came to Rehovot and met up with Dina again and we went with her friend to hunt for those spice packets I raved about so much. We got about 10 in one place but the second place wanted us to pay for it. And actually, he was a douche. It was my childhood pizza place so I bought food there anyway. I hope he stays a virgin until he's 50. (It just so happens that Mira works at PizzaHut and she'll hook me up! Funny how life works out)
Moving on...
Dina's friend, Eleanora (Ella), is very nice and seems to know every boy in town, which I can really see as a valuable quality in a friend, so good for Dina I guess. We went to the mall and tried on a few clothes. I tried on a really nice dress but my prom dress is still nicer so I wasn't impressed.
Did I mention how pretty Dina's eyes are? They're completely green and hypnotic. I Think she used to be a cat in a previous life. So after walking around for a while there was that awkward friend exchange moment where it feels like I'm ditching one friend in favor of another. I will cut down on those... So I met up with Mira.
This may sound like I sing too much of my friends' praises, but I am only saying the truth. Mira is such a beauty. I just want to stare at her all day (not in a creepy way). She just has such a beautiful, glowing face. At some point I felt I was looking in a mirror because 1. we are very alike, and 2. she just has the same kind enthusiasm and positive energy as I do. And she's curious and nice and we listen to the same music.

She's a lot like me, too, we have so much in common. We get IT, you know? I can't believe we were out of touch for so long, but I'm glad we're friends again. We had the perfect evening. We went to a really nice restaurant and they gave us food with the most delicious cheese (didn't think that there'll be a post without a food description, did you?). I has pasta with cheese balls. The cheese melted and was in such perfect balance with the rest of the food, I burned myself TWICE because I couldn't wait to eat it. (Mira also shares my love of cheese) Mira had what can only be called cheese soup with potatoes and mushrooms. I mean, holy camoly! It was soooo good. I wish I could eat what we had there interchangeably every day for the rest of my life. Oh, and the waiters were really cute too.

I'm going to my DGrandma today... I just hope she doesn't feed me with her cooking. I wonder if I can fake the stomach flu without looking like I may have an eating disorder for 3 days.

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I spent it with Rakefet and Dina (separately) and the weather was beautiful. For the first part of the day I hung out at Rakefet's house and we talked about how things are and have been and such. We reconnected. After so much time, it's hard to know if you'll connect with someone, but we did and it was wonderful. We took a walk then around town to where our old school is, and my old apartments. There used to be orange trees outside of my balcony, and we used to cut them off with long scissors (2 brooms+scissors+tape=long scissors) and collect them when they fell and then make juice. Now they're gone and there's a new building where they used to be.
I drank beer at my Rakefet's house at 1 in the afternoon. I felt so cool. Mainly because I'm a dork, but also because I felt so grown up. It made me laugh. She's now a painter, or artist if you will, and I looked through all of her drawings so happily. She's really talented, like all of my artist friends, which I realized I have many of, and I believe she can really go far with her art. I must take a picture of my favorite drawing... To me, one stood out as the most spectacular. We decided to get some air after, before the (awesome) family lunch they fed me. They made Jell-O too, for the special occasion of my visit, which I thought was really touching.
My school is completely changed with a new paint job, some patio, and they made it so that students can't slide down the stair rails any more. Oh, and put in some grass where there used to be sand. Also, instead of the snake-infested field beside the school, they're building high rise apartments. Good.
Rehovot is a really pretty city. Everywhere you look there are small parks or interesting sculptures. There's also an endless amount of flowers. I came at the right time. Every thing's in full bloom which makes the whole city smell of the soft perfume of spring. I was completely intoxicated.

Rakefet talked about the army. I won't talk about this for long, but I have to say, I'm really glad I got to not go. I wish my friends here had a choice in the matter. To me it feels like you're being robbed of 2-3 years of your life. In a supposedly free country, you surrender yourself to become the property of the government. Quite soul wrenching, really. I hope some of my friends are dealing with it well, and not feel so bad about the whole situation.
Anyhow, me and my Rakefet (Rakefet and I) went to a little cafe which was open (everything is closed on Saturday! More on this later) and ordered milk, which had like a chocolate bar in it and you mix it and you get this mix of chocolaty heaven. There is no other way to describe it. And for those who dare comment on the fact I eat no milk OR chocolate... I say to you, "this is Israel and eveything tastes the same here; like home." Then we ordered a dessert. It should be outlawed, it's so good. It was a waffle sandwich covered in something delicious, with ice cream in the middle and whipped cream on the side. My eyes almost fell out when I saw it... I thought it'll be some puny piece of cake like they have in Canada... When I took a picture I think I was automatically written off as a lunatic, but hey, all Asian people do it...
My goodness, I do ramble...
I then met with Dina and we went to the mall. It was just like I remembered it, and actually, Dina was too. She did lose weight and got her braces off and now has really funky hair which actually looks a lot like mine, but honestly, exactly the same person. She made me laugh :).
With her we discussed newly acquired habits and quirks that we've both developed over the years. It was fantastically hilarious. We established our mutual hate for Sponge Bob Square Pants and it was a stroll in the park from then. We also decided to watch a movie, and as the "expert" (Israel gets all movies a few months after Canada) I recommended Juno. What a good choice, eh? We laughed so much and both came out in the greatest mood, which gave us the encouragement to walk around the mall for another hour, commenting away at things such as the one-egg pan and the pop-can CD-holder thingie. SUCH an awesome time.

I was supposed to meet with Shira and Mira (hey, it rhymes), but Shira came to Rehovot very late and Mira went to a friend's party and got really wasted which made me frown upon her. But now we're cool :)

I have so much more to say, but my fingers hurt from typing on this old school keyboard. And I want my lap-top back.

I have no idea what's wrong with me. Do you know when I woke up today? 6, that's when. And yesterday it was 7. I guess it's perfect because in Toronto, I'd be living the night life, but actually, it means that by 3 I am exhausted (or maybe it was that trip to the mall with my grandma). In any case, this early morningness-ness allows me to do, or contemplate doing, many things, like showering or walking to the sea (respectively). Although that walk to the sea I will do this week for sure and maybe watch the sunrise.

Before I begin my tale of yesterday, I will clear up the grandma/grandpa confusion. I have 3 sets of them. Step, Mom's and Dd's. From now on, they will be referred to as SGrandma for step, MGrandpa for Mom's, and so on.

Ok, so yesterday, after breakfasting on my childhood yogurt (I'm eating another one right now and I just noticed the lid says "double the whipped cream" and I think I may have just had a foodgasm, but moving on), I went to the mall with my SGrandma. She insisted on buying me a birthday gift WITH me which meant walking around the mall and fending off constant "how about this"s. I knew that if I didn't come up with something specific that I "want" we would be there until it closed so I randomly blurted out "wallet". We ended up getting a very nice red leather one, after going to about 4 stores, and I like it, too.
We took the bus which meant that I once again felt the inadequacy of our darling TTC in my heart, but I didn't let it get me down. The seats were too comfortable. So on with my story, we went to McDonald's. It deserves it's own paragraph.
I ordered my McRoyal and sat down. There's a certain satisfaction in getting a burger the size of your face and not the wimpy bite-sized wannabe burgers they have in Canada. Several tidbits: nutritional information is on a sticker and is glued to each product on the tray. Everything is much less greasy and the burger is cooked on a flame as opposed to the metal plates I detest so much. The taste was like deliciousness on buns of yummy. So much better than I remembered!!! Again, foodgasm. I... Am having such a good time :).
We then walked home from the Mall By The Sea (What is the point? You're in a mall. Perhaps it's a marketing scheme for the masses) and we passed by an AMAZING bead store which will receive another visit from me and this funky clothing store where I will buy myself a Happy Tree Friends sweatshirt with the cute bunny on it and it says "the end is near". It will go with all my clothes. And did I mention the sales guy was really cute? because it's definitely worth mentioning.
I also found the store where I would like to live (if life ever gets so bad); Puzzle Land. You'd think, "enough said", but actually, they had a table set up where customers can sit and help build a puzzle that will later go on the wall in the store. Their choices are admirable.
We also passed by a candy store where I stocked up on my favorites, which will sadly leave me with no teeth by the end of the month, but I am willing to live with that.

Finally I got home at around 3 in the afternoon and collapsed of exhaustion for, like, 4 hours.
In the evening, I called up all my homies and DGrandparents about visiting and was met with plentiful enthusiasm, which was lovely. I then had tea with S&MGrandparents (that sounds very wrong) and then went off to sleep again. I would have written this last night, but I was lazy and I was doing Sudoku.

The 7 hour difference makes it confusing to check my favorite blogs (only 3), and my laptop is not working so I have to use my MGrandparents' computer which still uses a monitor that weighs more than me and a mouse whose scrolling thingie actually creaks (I have no idea...).

Today I am off to Rehovot, my school days town, where I will see my friends and take many pictures of things I miss.

Tell me if I'm boring you

All right. I can't promise to write every day because I actually have a life here, but I will do my best.

Prologue
I brilliantly decided not to sleep for 2 days before boarding the plane, so that my chances of falling asleep would increase exponentially. This proved to be very stupid as the chairs on the plane are highly uncomfortable and it's just generally hard to sleep when I'm on planes because I tend to be overly excited.

Plane
I'll just skip the angry stuff like me wanting to kill the chair kicking kid behind me and his deodorant non-using dad, but I won't. Instead I shall talk about the in-flight entertainment and scenery. The plane has some fancy shmancy looking system that was supposed to have TV shows, movies and radio and games (I didn't find the games). Every time you choose a program, there's first 5 minutes of commercials which you can't avoid watching and then it's followed by another commercial and then the movie/TV show. Since I pretty much watched all the movies already, except the depressing ones, I could not rely on the entertainment system to amuse me, and so I put on random movies I've watched and sorta liked, and did my Sudoku.
Although the previous paragraph was boring, I will make up for it in the following ones.
First, I love flying. The world is more interesting from above. We flew over Canada and I liked how all lakes were just big white splotches, and when we went off coast, there were these huge sheets of ice just floating around.
At night, we were over the ocean so I couldn't see anything below anyway, but the stars were so beautiful. Not like from the ground. The sky looks completely black once you get past all the clouds and other things (Troposphere?). Anyhow, when we finally crossed the ocean, we ended up over France. It was the middle of the night, so we could only see the lights of the few settlements. However, what I loved the most were the lakes. I first noticed that there were these pools of light without a source, like a village would be. These were just spots of light though. It turns out that the moon reflects off of water, creating this glow. wow...
The rest of the night we flew over France and as morning came, we were most likely above Italy and then Grease. Obviously I couldn't tell, but I was completely glued to the window for those last 3 hours because I couldn't pass on the sunrise. It was coming up from the direction we were going, but the pink and orange reflected off the clouds and it was so beautiful. There will be pictures on facebook once I get my laptop fixed.
Then we arrived.

First Impression/First Day
The only thing I noticed at the airport was that they use a different cleaning agent in Israel than Canada. Ah, home sweet home.
We came out to see my grandmother who now reaches down to my shoulder and my step grandparents all waving and some crying. Lovely.
We go the the parking lot and then finally, fresh air. Ahhh, it smells of spring. Then we go into the parking lot and it smells like gasoline. But wait, what is this? There are no enclosing walls, and I am actually outside, wearing a t-shirt basically. It is WARM!!! La, lalala, lala, la... In your face Canada.
We get in the car and I get in between my two grandmas who start telling me stories and asking questions and I'm just tired so I smile a lot.
"do you remember this?", "What about that?", "THAT you have to remember".
I see road and building. Leave me alone.
Israel sure does have many palm trees. It also has lots of golden sand which I can't wait to sink my feet into.

When we get to Ashdod, where I spent my early childhood, I barely recognize it. It has changed completely. All the older buildings are now overgrown with trees instead of the bushes they once had, and everything is just small. I could not believe where I was when we entered into my house's parking lot. Firstly, there was desert beyond the building complex and now, high rise apartments and stores, but secondly, the walkway to my house used to be twice as long, at least, and it seems as though everything just shrunk quite considerably. Also, where did all those trees come from?
I spend the afternoon going back and forth between my two grandmas until one of them goes off to work. Then, After my much needed shower, I decide to take a stroll to the bank and grocery store partly because I want to have money, but mostly because I need alone time.

I really hope I wasn't staring at all the people because it sure felt that way. I was just walking there, wide-eyed and in shock. The bank is where the desert used to be so I was walking very slowly, making sure to see everything. Desert.
In the grocery store, I ended up buying about $30 worth or candy and juice and a pack of Orbit. And when I came home, I finally got a taste of GOOD old Mayo. Finally, my life is complete. All right, maybe not.

I went to sleep, or rather, passed out of exhaustion, at about 7:40, then woke up at 7 this morning, before everyone else, and decided to document my day. Yes, it was boring, but very delicious. And warm, if I didn't emphasize it enough. Warm, warm, warm.

There will be pictures

I know I will be mocked for this, but other than the people I love in Israel, what I miss most is the food.
When I used to take tennis lessons, I had to walk for about 30 minutes to get there. On the way, there was a pastry shop, and every week I would buy my favorite: a sufgania with caramel filling. Sure, there was the jam filling, that was ok, but the caramel they used was so light, creamy and sweet I could never get enough. On several occasions, I even came back after finishing one, to buy two more for the road. I know it probably wasn't the best idea to eat them before the lesson, but how could I resist?
Mayo and ketchup is only done right in Israel. I don't know what it is about mayo here, but it's too solid and salty. And ketchup, well, they just don't sell the good stuff here, although I basically would just eat anything but Heinz. yucky.
I also miss Dominoes Pizza. Not the pizza so much but the spice that is given with the pizza in a little packet and you sprinkle at your discretion. I am going to take 50 of those packets home with me so I can enjoy pizza the way it was meant to be enjoyed. Why is Dominoes Canada robbing me of this simple pleasure?
Next is McDonalds. I know what you're thinking, but it's not like that! In Israel, McDonald's burgers are fire grilled and are at least 3 times bigger than the midget burgers we get here. They are beyond anything I can get in a fast food place here. And by beyond I mean delicious.
Then there's The Cake. Every birthday, I had the same cake. It was called the porcupine because it had some tube-like needles coming out of it and it was essentially round. I am not a big cake person, or at all, really, but that cake still shows itself to me in my dreams sometimes. Although it was chocolate, it had such a light flavor to it. I should hope the cake shop is still there so that I can buy my cake and eat it too. haha. Ok, that wasn't really funny.
Oh, and then there are snacks. Not like chips and Doritos, but actual QUALITY snacks. And there are so many. Chips are the same everywhere, and are therefore equally greasy and overly salty everywhere, but Israel produces their own line of unique snacks that are sadly unavailable anywhere else. It's a shame because they are delicious. I will most likely post photos from my trip to the grocery store when I take them because I just must share.
And the dairy! Oh, the dairy. Honestly, if I didn't miss all that other food so much I would only eat cheese and yogurt. Here, I eat Havarti and that's about it, but in Israel, I eat even the plain white yogurt. It is just THAT good. Mmmmmmm.
It's so hard to get decent syrup here that's fruit flavored. In Israel, they come in most imaginable flavors and as a bonus, come in an animal shaped bottle. I think the hippo was grape.
The traditional food is also good, but I guess I wasn't really into it as a kid. You bet I'd be eating it this time around though.

I am just so excited about going. I already bought 2 SuDoKu books to do on the plane and I got some presents for my friends. I haven't started packing yet, technically, but tomorrow I shall.

Happy April Fool's Day to all

I still feel awful.
I was mean once but Vipassana Meditation Center saved me. I have been "mean free" for over six months and I don't miss it.

Sometimes I joke around but I never intend on hurting anyone's feelings.
I always have a bad feeling about my past life. I feel like I used to be a terrible person but was given a second chance. That's why I always have to try things twice before I succeed, always finish the toilet paper roll, miss my bus, and say many, MANY wrong things all the time (and many more "coincidences"). It is Karma testing me to see if I go off on a murderous rampage. I don't though because I find being happy is so much more healing and makes at least half the voices in my head go away.
Ever feel like when you're happy, that you're faking it? Being happy or content is so hard and unnatural. We are so used to having problems in our lives that I don't think we can deal with all the quietness and calm of happiness. I barely can. I know I used to purposely stir up drama in my life just so I wouldn't be so bored, and I probably do it now too, although now it's subconscious.

Truly, Vipassana Meditation is the single most enlightening, rewarding, and difficult experiences I've ever had, and I am going back again. I don't think about it every day, but I try to live every day of my life right. (And now I'm going to get all philosophical and stuff) If there's a meaning to life, at least mine, is to become a person who can help others. My Master Plan is quite elaborate, and I help more and more people on each step towards The Goal.
I was so miserable before I went, and now, I can find happiness in almost everything around me. However, there's a bit of a catch 22 here. With happiness comes enthusiasm, with enthusiasm, lots of talking, with talking saying the wrong thing (see above), wrong thing said leads to people getting mad or scared (?) or confused and I get sad because I am misunderstood.

If I could compare the good in me to anything in the world, I would compare it to "Pushing Daisies", although I think nothing in the world is quite that perfect.

I sincerely hope you find a lucky penny (remember: face up. Flip it over for the  next person to find if it's tails)

I don't know what came over me today. I had a mean streak for no reason. I was mean to TWO people via internet and I have no idea why and it was really undeserved and they both got really upset.
I am REALLY nice!
Maybe it was all that pent up anger from work, but nothing too hate-inspiring happened today. I don't think it was anger, because I had no reason to feel it towards these people. Or maybe the lack of sleep is what did it.
I am really sorry if I pushed your buttons or made fun of you today (or at all). I didn't mean it like that at all.
Please forgive me

And Cathy, you really made my day. Thanks :)

(EDIT: Sometimes, I am actually mean but only to stupid people and people who think that they're at a photo shoot when taking a passport photo, and most of the time, it's the same folk)

Today sure was exciting. But first, a public announcement.
DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TOUCH MY STUFF WITHOUT ASKING!!!!! I will mess you up. Then I will go after your family and shave off all their hair while they're sleeping, and make sure you are blamed. *awkward family dinner moment.... NOW*. I really don't mind sharing, but people, I will go psycho on your ass if you so much as touch a marble on my dresser (don't ask. You will understand if you come to my room) without asking me. A simple, "can I snoop around?" would suffice, really. I am sure not many people know just how INSANE this makes me because there's a certain amount of this "invasion" I can tolerate, but once I crack, you don't want to be there. I just can't stress this enough. Don't touch my things, borrow my clothes, and eat/drink my food, EVER, without asking me first. I will say YES, but you gotta ask, PLEASE. Thank you.

And on to my awesome day now;
As none of you may know, I watch this awesomely clever internet show called Cute With Chris (yes, I finally learned how to hyperlink and I feel really cool). Feel free to love it. So anyways, a few months ago, Chris did a live show in L.A.. It was apparently great, and I believe that. On Monday this week, Chris announced that he will be performing yet another live show in TORONTO!!!!! HERE!!! After jumping up and down like a crazy person for half an hour, my attitude quickly changed to, "oh crap, I won't be able to go because I will FOR SURE be in Israel". Although the show's date was not yet announced, I knew my bad Karma was just waiting for a golden opportunity such as this to mess with me. Nevertheless, the show also offers a free *official* Cute With Chris pen, which I just WANT.
Tuesday, an announcement is made; the tickets will be available Wednesday (today) at noon, Toronto time. I woke up at 11:50 and started reloading the page an unnecessary 60/min. Sure enough, at 12:04 (my watch is ahead of time so I won't be late), the box-office number is posted. The show is April 19 (3 days before my return, duh) and so I accept my fate and dial the number instantaneously and call. "Let BELL notify you if this number becomes free in the next 30 minutes..." NO. Redial. "Let BELL notify you if this number becomes free in the next 30 minutes...". Ok, I see how this is going to go. Redial. "Let..'I HATE YOU'", and I do this for TWO (2) HOURS!!!!
12:30 PM: "Let" *throws phone at bed yelling and swearing at it*
12:45 PM: "Let" *shows surprise at the suddenly condescending tone the Bell Lady is exhibiting*
1:05 PM: *phone free washroom break* (I didn't want to be rude)
1:30 PM: *cries*
While calling, I was also on the forum reading all the comments from the bastards who already had tickets. How on Earth did they get through???
I had to come in for work at 3 and in my desperation I decided to call just a few more times before I leave.
2:11 PM: riiiiing... riiiiing... riiiiing... riiiiing... 3 MINTES AND 53 SECONDS LATER!!!!
Cathy (my hero): "Hello, you have reached The Theatre Center office, how can I help you?"
Me: "I have???? Really??? Are there still tickets left for Cute With Chris????"
Cathy: "yes" *giggle*
Me: "YES!!!!" *happy dance* "mhm, ok, just so you know, everyone's talking about how nice you are in the forum so thank you for putting up with all us crazy cat ladies and gay bears" (you have to watch the show to get that, and I'm sure Cathy didn't)
Cathy: "no problem" (I can hear her smiling)
Personal info... blah, blah, blah... I have now procured myself two tickets for my brother and my friend to go and enjoy and they better be getting me those free pens, (Bitch!).
Then I jump around like a maniac again for no reason since I'm not even going to the show... and then go running out the door because I am late for work! (Can't believe it was that last minute call that got through, after I've completely given up.

Work was fine.

After work, I went to Absolute Comedy with a bunch of my friends. This was a highly randomized group of people that I happen to like, and since I am sick and tired of doing the same thing over and over again with the same people (See: Late Rantings) I decided I don't care if these people know each other because they are here for ME to supposedly celebrate my birthday, and that is it.
Some acts were really, really bad. So bad, in fact, they were funny, and then just bad again. And then, when the straight guy from the Gay Village came on, I was laughing the WHOLE TIME. He was the greatest. Also, Style By Jury was doing their "confidence boost by making people laugh" bit for this one woman, and although she could barely speak English and was terribly dressed, my heart went out to her because that show is my secret pleasure and I sympathize with the contestants no matter how unfunny they are on stage. Oh and Bruce Turner looks like a hobo in real life.
Then we went to eat sushi and it was delicious and Daniel payed for me so thank you Daniel, we are even, and I'm really sorry about your grandma. :(

I am very tired now so I will go to sleep and dream of cute puppies and kittens.

I <3 CWC and hyperlinks

Ever since I haven't been able to sleep, which is approaching about two months now, I felt like blog writing was part of the reason why I ended up falling asleep so late. I was wrong. My hypothesis is that I stress out too much and not socialize enough so not only do I think too much, I also stress out about everything I think about. That's fine. Unfortunate but fine. Better than crying myself to sleep every night thinking I'm a complete failure as a person (I hate you SWITCH, Annie, Band, and School of Grade 12).
To continue this train of thought, I wish to share with you my new rekindled love; audio books.
Now, I am going to guess what you may be thinking and disagree with it immediately. As many of you may know, anything language related that is directly or indirectly directed at me is kind of an indulgence of mine. I love a good voice, expressive writing, and (for the thousandth time) body language. I need all of my friends and lovers to possess at least on of these traits with impeccable eloquence. I am really not asking much, just the satisfaction of my weird mild fetish.
Back to the books now, sure, I can read a book to myself and enjoy it with all the vivid imagination I was blessed with, but there are only so many tones I can pull off... And then, it changes with my mood and the characters stop making sense and I lose interest and then I get all grumpy and it ends badly. Although that may happen very rarely and I have no idea why I just wrote that, I really do have issues of tone with books I read. But audio books... Ahh, my life is complete. Though some "voice actors" (as I call them) have no talent and need to start smoking and then die of lung cancer thus serving as a warning to all other smokers prompting them to quit, the ones with real talent need to be served grapes by naked ladies on a beach in Hawaii. Right now I'm listening to Fisher Stevens who narrates Christopher Moore's "Dirty Job". To say I LOVE him and want to have his babies would be an understatement. He "does" angry teenage goth girl, Russian woman, Jewish in-laws, psycho paranoid protagonist, and many more amusing characters without compromising his manhood (I am looking at you, weird person narrating Harry Potter 4 and doing Hermione which still gives me nightmares to this day). So anyhow, that is what I love right now. The book is actually just good on it's own, but someone else's voice really adds that extra spice to it.

Also, Cute With Chris is coming to Toronto, not that anybody else wants to jump for joy and sing songs, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.

My family ended up visiting me on the extra long Easter weekend, yet my master plan was foiled yet again (!). My mom, Alex, and Katie left for Boston Friday morning and Father and the Crew arrived late afternoon that same day, so I could not take my longed for family portrait yet again. Also, I have to work Saturday which puts a dent in family time, but that is ok, because it's hard pretending to laugh at ALL of their jokes, and some (most) of them are not funny.
I did, however, and also shockingly, score really GREAT GREAT GREAT presents. Ok, one I'd asked for and another I've had already in a smaller scale, but still. Very "on the ball" this year.
1) A jar of change. (Asked for)
If you don't understand the appeal of this right away, I will explain it just because I don't want any of the awesomeness of this gift to possibly go to waste.
My dad periodically takes out the change in his pockets and puts it in a jar. The jar is full. I love change. Also, it is over $34. I will now buy food using change and get a sick satisfaction out of it. And now I'm doing my evil laugh. Don't pretend like you would not be doing the same.
2) A Zen Garden. (Already have one about 4cm*5cm)
This one is much larger. It's about the size of a 5in*7in photo, or maybe slightly bigger. IT comes with two (!!!) different rakes, and six rocks, which automatically (disregarding the size) makes it double the Zen my other garden ever was. I think...
Anyway, I like it, and intend on mindlessly raking it whenever I have nothing better to do, and then documenting my elaborate designs and eventually writing a boring blog about it.

At least my step brother came (thanks, really), although I can't help but be a bit skeptical about his motives. I mean, he could have seen his GIRLFRIEND instead, unless there was something in it for him... Hmmm... HMMMM... (Yea, I know you're reading this!)
And speaking of world domination, my brother Ant(on) asked me to write something about our trip to Long and McQuade.
Here goes (abbreviated version): Mom tried to tune guitar. Something doesn't work and the string rips. I feel like mom doesn't get enough love from me so I say I will go and fix it for her. Next day it rains so I don't want to go. I watch Six Feet Under to get in the mood, but it doesn't help. Ant(on) comes home and I feel the urge to bond. We depart for L&M. It is rush hour and we feel stupid for taking the bus. We argue, then stop. We bond because (he's so awesome, great, wonderful, smart, clever, attractive to certain girls, good dancer, and did I say smart? (ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???? ARE YOU????)) the ride is really long. We miss our stop because *I hate bus drivers*. Get to the store and get guitar fixed. Stay at the store to oogle music thingies (saxophones... *drool*) . Get shawarma (it is spelled right in my head). Take the 60 three times for stupid (STUPID!!!) reasons, then finally make it home and guitar has un-tuned itself due to the cold. Then, Ant(on) uses his mad skillz to tune it and my boring story ends.

Now I'm thinking I should have gone to sleep during the time when I was like, "dude, I'm too tired to go to sleep", because now it's too late, and I am doomed to stay up for at least another hour staring at darkness.
Also, as a little final afterthought, I really need to stop being such a weirdo and be paranoid about seeming stalkerish because it makes me seem even weirder and more creepy. I know you all agree, but still love me because I am actually really great.