|
[07 Sep 2002|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
MEAT EATING ORCHIDS FORGIVE NO |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ONE JUST YET CUT MYSELF ON ANGEL'S HAIR AND BABY'S BREATH |
] |
It's somewhat unnerving to witness your husband and your brother-in-law's spouse (two exact copies of each other) dance around in matching Tony Blair masks and singing 'Heart Shaped Box' to the strums of the ukelele.
The music of the ukelele being provided by me, of course.
Who else would do it?
I think tomorrow is slated to be Hardball night when we play the Chris Matthews drinking game. You know, one shot when Matthews's spittle flies out of his mouth while telling his guest that he is an idiot... etc.
Fun.
|
|
|
[24 Aug 2002|12:48pm] |
I found fanfiction... about myself.
I'm almost flattered, I think, being made an elf by Varda herself and then being made High Elf and ruler of Lorien by Celeborn. And my parents were captured and brutally killed by orcs of... Middle Earth.
Um, right.
I took a page out of Feanor's book and split myself in half, keeping ironic chuckles to myself and Elladan.
Well then. That's all, folks.
|
|
| ahahaha |
[16 Aug 2002|05:58pm] |
|
Guess who else decided to go plastic?
|
|
|
[23 Jul 2002|04:03pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
astronomy domine |
] |
EDIT: The eyes of the deluded compel you.
|
|
| in which miss tindomiel attempts to fix something |
[23 Jul 2002|02:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sorcery makes me hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i wanna chalupa! |
] |
*dons pointy hat and leans over the bubbling cauldron and smiles at the bubbling contents within*
*cackles*
Today, Miss Tindomiel shall try to strike a new form of horror upon the famed 'Middle-Earth Sockpuppet Theatre' (whose curtains are slowly dragging itself closed and yet people still trundle on). Yaaahahaha!
*rubs hands together*
Now, let's see what we have here. Mmmmmm.
Elladan! Bring me the frontal and occipital lobe of the human! Children, the frontal and occipital lobes of the human brain is responsible for such neat things as speech production, the elaboration of thought and emotion, and the detection and interpretation of visual images.
*takes the pieces of braaaaainnnsssssss in hand and smiles*
This belongs to our mun who most willingly *snicker* sacrificed herself for this project. It has nothing to do with us controlling and manipulating her to the point of weakness before finally convincing her that the right thing to do was to play the hangman game. *smiles*
Ah, thank you, Elladan, you've been most helpful and wonderful. *Elladan whispers something* Hehehehehe, later, later, after this. I love you ehehehe.
Ahem. *clears throat*
*drops the pieces of brain into the cauldron*
No use for pseudo-science here, my children, when you've got the handle on mysticism. Now, let's see what else we can drop in the pot. Mmm mmm mmm:
1 paperback copy of Sylvia Plath's Unabridged Journals
1 dead hamster
873 hours of Radiohead's KID A listened
2 automobile accidents
4 bags of Cheeto puufs
1 dead body of an anorexic
5 so-called rock and roll casualties
1 PC
1 copy of Return of the King
1 box of Honey nut Cheerios
16 Djarum clove cigarettes
18 years of smoggy California air
1 pair of beaten-up converse sneakers
1 pocketknife
1 King James version of the Holy Bible
*cackles and stirs*
Let's sing the pretty potion a song, shall we?
*rocks to the pretty ringing guitar strings in head*
You stop the crowd
I cried out to break the spell
You wake and smile
I just snapped and lost control
Distracted by irrelevance
The stress and the tension
The stress and the tension
I'm in a lull
There's nothing so dull
As talking, talking 'bout yourself
But what I meant to say
I'm sorry that I lost control
Distracted by irrelevance
The stress and the tension
Crawling through the keyhole
I'm in a lull
*thunderclap*
Fatima! I, Tindomiel of Numenor, hereby absolve you of alllllllllll that troubles you!
*drops lock of Fatima's hair in cauldron*
You will resist! Resist their will! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
*the contents of the cauldron explodes and debris falls everywhere, erupting flowers from flesh*
The eyes of the mentally unhinged compels you.
Take these blossoms and consume them!!! FOR THEN, THE INSANITY MAY THEN BE YOURS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sincerely, Tindomiel: the Self-Made Priestess of La Tristesse Durera.
|
|
| call me now for your free tarot readin'! |
[19 Jul 2002|10:43pm] |
|
Miss Tindomiel is here to answer all your questions, babies!
*picks up phone*
M.T: Hello, my darlin'? What can Miss Tindomiel do for you, mammah?
Caller: Um, hi, Miss Tindomiel, I'm in love with this boy but he's married. What should I do?
M.T: What's your name, my darlin'? It starts with a T or an E now dunnit? You're related to one of dose crazy horse-men dat like to bed with dee animals, now aren't you, baby? Don't lie to Miss Tindomiel. Your family all have, what do you call dem? Great fucking mental problems, no?
Caller: Why, yes, yes. What you're saying is all true!
M.T: Of course it be true, baby. Miss Tindomiel is never wrong. Now let me see what her cards say? Ahhh, the Galadriel card is lined up with de Marton Czokas card. Is your boy's spouse female, darlin'?
Caller: Yeah she is. I fucking hate her. I WANT HER TO FUCKING DIE AHHHH I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER *sound of head slamming against wall repeatedly*
M.T: Now calm down, mammah! No need to get in a tizzy here! Hmmm... de Celeborn card is weilding a hacksaw, mon. He doesn't know dat you love him, now does he, my baby?
Caller: No, he doesn't. And I can't tell him because I'm too much of a coward!! *cries*
M.T: Now, now, child, it ain't bad. Ah, the Coral Hat card. He doesn't like you very much, that boy, now does he, baby?
Caller: No! No he fucking doesn't!! It drives me crazy!! I love him so much that I can just explode and all he does is make fun of me or ignore me and then flirt and fucking fuck his fucking wife. I can't fucking stand it any longer!
M.T: Shh shhh, darlin', it will be okay. Aaaah, de cards, dey are most interesting.
Caller: Why? What?
M.T: See dis card, baby? It be old school Eowyn gettin' all gung ho and jealous over Faramir's lovers, mon. And this card next to it, it be the Silmarils and lotsa dead elves. You're going to kill your boy, baby. You're going to kill him and his wife because your jealousy is going to drive you over de top in say... less dan two weeks, mammah. And the final card: Melkor's foot on Fingolfin's neck. You're probably going to accidently kill yourself in the process, baby, because you are stupid. Good luck on dat one, darlin'. De cards never lie.
Caller: Oh. Thanks, Miss Tindomiel!!! I guess that I shouldn't try to prevent this from happening because it will happen anyway because the cards never lie and I believe in you, Miss Tindomiel! Thank you again! And goodbye!
M.T: My pleasure, baby. Dank you for de good business. And now Miss Tindomiel will go to de bathroom and stop talking in dis ridiculous fucking accent mon, and den she will laugh. Oh, she will laugh as she is collecting de money, my darlings, and den she will have a pizza. Because de cards never lie, mammah.
|
|
| all you did was wreck the bed and in the morning kick my head |
[17 Jul 2002|07:31pm] |
I have accomplished many things today. First, there was that concentrating on Elladan and trying to see what his aura is, right? Well, that went rather well the first ten minutes or so. He was actually sort of understanding and sat there with a smirk on his face as he was chain-smoking. At around the forty-minute point, I started seeing things in his eyes, right? Like flashes of light! So, as excited as I was, I had to remain calm and continue concentrating - after a while I had realised that it was morse code. He was flashing something at me!!! So, I was there, trying very hard not to blink and trying to figure out what the message was.
It was:
P
A
U
L
I
S
D
E
A
D
And then, as I was about to throttle him for playing fucking tricks on me, I suddenly realised a purple coyote was sitting next to me and it opened its mouth and started singing:
'Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you
It's late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but I feel I'm being used
Oh Maggie I couldn't have tried any more
You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt.'
Then I sort of screamed because I fucking hate Rod Stewart and the idea of that rubber-faced and google-eyed weirdo even more rubber-faced and google-eyed over a hag twice his age disgusted me so greatly that I went cross-eyed and passed out.
When I woke up, Elladan was rolling on the floor laughing his fucking face off.
Bah.
I think tomorrow I will go out and steal some of those Lord of the Rings tarot cards and see what I can make with it.
I hate Rod Stewart.
|
|
|
[16 Jul 2002|08:38pm] |
I had a bit of an adventure last night involving a five year old or so Faramir and some vomit before dropping him on Thomomir's doorstep and being whooshed back home by Elladan's er, echoing presence or something.
I haven't haunted my family in a while.
I'm also contemplating going into business as an official clairvoyant. So, if anybody needs me, I'll be um, off sitting in a closet somewhere, facing north and trying to develop my psychic supernatural or some crap like that powers.
I think the first thing I'll be doing is concentrating on Elladan and seeing what colour his aura is. (Any stupid excuse to stare at him for as long as possible fine with me eheheheh um yeah.)
I am doing this because I want to help people. Really.
|
|
|
[15 Jul 2002|05:13pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
manic street preachers - stay beautiful |
] |
Hi. I have a new mun because my old mun hated me. However, my new mun is too morose over the departure of this individual to have me do anything.
Sigh.
I just can't win.
|
|
| being a ghost is fun |
[29 Jun 2002|02:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
restless or whatever |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ghostly noises or something |
] |
*stands at side of road*
Eeeeehehehehe.
*sticks thumb out*
*gets in car*
Lalalalaalala. My name is uh... Pippin. Yeah. I'm uh. Shut up and drive!
*disappears when driver turns around*
*watches car fly off an embankment and into a river*
AAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAH.
*floats home*
|
|
| see you later, most likely. |
[10 Jun 2002|01:18am] |
I've had enough of this.
Ok. I don't want to be here if Elladan's not, and even if he doesn't want me around at least I can go to a place with hours upon hours of mind numbing Hungry Hungry Hippo's and the plays the dwarf ward puts on.
I love you all everyone I'm sorry.
*kills self*
Wow, internet connection even in limbo?? Cool.
|
|
| ....... |
[10 Jun 2002|12:56am] |
FUCK!
my head is going to explode.
aijijdsfijfijsdaifijfos shit.
|
|
| free free free free |
[07 Jun 2002|12:10pm] |
So, yesterday - I finally got set free.
Amras was sort of breaking down because he hadn't taken his medication, and Faramir and Maglor talked to him and then came and gave it to him, and Faramir took me back home. I um, don't hate him, anymore.
Elrohir is also bringing Elladan to come and visit me.
I want to go to sleep and not wake up for the next hundred years and not remember anything of what just happened.
|
|
|
[06 Jun 2002|11:52pm] |
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here. I am not here.
saofkaskfsofksaokfskfsokfodskfoskdfsafkaspofkok
somebody help me please.?
|
|
| my very first kidnapping |
[05 Jun 2002|09:30pm] |
Ummm.
Yeah.
Uh. He is fucking creepy. Isn't this that person Faramir was going on about? I should've known that idiot would have weird friends like this.
Isn't Amras Elrohir's step-son thing?
Somebody do something, please, before he makes me play pictionary again and I have to draw a water mill with a marker in my mouth because my hands are tied up.
|
|
| not canon, because i am a footnote of a footnote |
[20 May 2002|11:55pm] |
I think I am about to have some kind of breakdown.
Firstly, Elladan is concussed and damaged and troubled and insane and he is cutting himself and shooting himself and trying to saw off his own feet and I don't know what to do and how to handle that, and it's very, very upsetting - and I can't seem to be upset because then he just gets worse. If I try to talk him out of it, he just goes off and does it again. Ad though I know he's really got problems, it's almost like he self indulgently enjoys it in a sick way. Medication and Nienna can't seem to help him. So I'm on the point of giving up. Faramir is not helping at all because he is crazed himself and just encourages him. This isn't even coherent but I'm not sure how to put it into words.
Even though it's selfish to think so, I should've just stayed in Mandos.
|
|
| ok |
[19 May 2002|11:34pm] |
|
Elladan, I made you a sandwich.
|
|
| the form |
[13 May 2002|10:54pm] |
Mandos Recall Release Form
Name of Review Applicant (ie: King Undead Elven Fucker): Tindómiel.. yeah.
PRE-DEATH INFORMATION
Residence: Númenor
Occupation/Position (ie: Lord of Doriath): ...My father was the King ?
Species/Race (ie: Elf, Noldor): Men, Númenórean
Spouse (if applicable): N/A
Name:
Species/Race:
Is spouse living, dead or resurrected?:
If living or resurrected, current relationship status:
If living or resurrected, current residence:
Children (if applicable): N/A
Name(s):
# disowned:
Are/have children...
Living, dead or resurrected?:
Former band camp attendee(s)?:
Produced any Gamgee spawn?:
Orientation:
[] Good
[] Evil
[x] Waste of Space
Historical accomplishment(s): Absolutely none. Was not sure my parents even knew I existed, until they told me that they did.
POST-RESURRECTION INFORMATION
Current Residence: Iceland
Orientation:
[x] Good
[] Evil
[] Slut
Patron Vala/Valië (if applicable): Nienna.
Reason for return: I got bored in Mandos, honestly.
Method of release/escape from Mandos: Talked to Nienna, did the paperwork.
In 100 words or less, justify your existence: There is pretty much no justification for my existence, other than my parents like me, my siblings do, and someone needs to make sure there aren't any sharp objects around Elladan.
|
|
| back! |
[12 May 2002|01:01am] |
I'm back from Numenor.
Regarding all of this:
- I'm not annoyed at Elladan, he was drunk and thought Faramir was me
- If Faramir comes near me, there will be trouble
- I love my mother very, very, very much.
That's all.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
_tindomiel's journal
