Amanda

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 01:37:04 GMT

I am starting to realize that the past four months have been nothing but a waste of time, money and unhappiness. What was I thinking? Why on earth would I be interested in someone who obviously doesn't have any similiar interest as I do and who thought talking himself up would impress me in the slightest. I should have taken the first two, three, four, five opportunities he had given me to tell him to grow up. But now I am stuck once again.

If I allow for this to drag on any longer I'm afraid I may do some serious damage. I am not his type of girl at all, but for some reason he feels that I am the one for him. I, on the other hand, do not think so. We are complete opposites. I do not see how we thought for a second that this could work. There were signals in the beginning that displayed signs of warning. I should have listened and walked the other way.

Every message he sends me makes me want to vomit. My stomach is sick. I wish this was a dream I could easily wake up out of and find myself back in November.

And as for you, you were the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. The way we fit perfectly together had always made me believe that it was true. I regret the way I acted and how I treated you near the end. I wasn't supposed to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. We both did things that caused the other pain. I am sorry. I will be for a very long time.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 02:43:11 GMT

Birthday.
Stoned.
Strip Club.
Jolly, Corrine, Pat and Mur.
Birthday sleepover number two.

Ihop.
Flowers.

Balloons.
Kiku.
Who tickets.
Snowy Valentines Day.
The Farm League.
Alex’s Birthday.

Twenty & twelve.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 04:50:08 GMT

I will be twenty in seven days.
Strip club (hopefully) with my favorite friends.
I wouldn’t mind permanently moving closer to them and Jolly.
A half hour is long when you’re stoned.
Or want to stay out longer.
I only sleep in New Jersey.
I drink with my Dad.
He comes to Jolly’s shows.
It’s perfect.
It feels good to know that my Dad understands that Jolly and I will be together a long time.
He likes Jolly more than he has anyone.
It couldn’t make me happier.
I don’t enjoy winter.
I’m too cold.
Spring needs to come faster.
Did the groundhog see his shadow?
I need warmth.
My back aches when the weather is below forty.
Bengay is a close friend.
I need to go to Disneyland.
And sleep in Cinderella's castle.

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 05:00:44 GMT

Jolly and I celebrated our one year December 18th.
Vermont for four days starting January 7th.
It’s all we’ve been waiting for.
You don’t know love until you witness ours.

Faster than Fashion won AP’s top ten unsigned bands of the year.
They will be featured in January’s issue.