sex reminds her of spaghetti.

Ridiculously long summer update:

I really don't want summer to be over. I have a month left until I go into high school, and that's just...frightening. I remember when I used to ache and scream over not being in high school, and now I'm that character grasping onto something close, resisting life pulling me to it.

I'm not afraid of anything. I'm just nervous about having to start everything. Almost everything, practically. I have to meet new people, new teachers, new places, new school, new girls, new faces, new shoes, new hallways, new uniforms. I don't want it. I want predictable, awful St. Elizabeth back.

But life goes on. Summer conditioning is over which is both good and bad. Now I won't have to switch plans around or not have plans at all the night before conditioning, or have to about never getting enough sleep before exercising which makes my body just crash. But I have to start running because volleyball tryouts apparently will consist of a lot of that.

Bianca's in Chicago for three weeks, and I miss her. I really hate that things got shook up that one week when we didn't talk at all. That was incredibly awkward. Bianca's like my sister, in a sense...which is, yet again, incredibly awkward, but it's true. I spend most of my time at her house or somewhere with her. We talk like each other. Hell, we fucking look like each other. There's not much we don't like about each other, but we have really terrible, disgusting acts of friendship for each other. Bianca sneezing on me, and me biting her included. I never really got how our friendship works. Fuck, we're weird. Whatever.

I don't enjoy being home that much. I've spent everyday for the past two weeks out somewhere, doing something. I just hate being home. I'm really limited to using the computer, but I'm so tired with this. I feel guilty sometimes if I don't use the computer since I have the "good" monitor that I really didn't need in the first place. Of course, it was a gift so I had to accept it. I can't really use the phone because someone else will need it, or my dad will listen in for a while and yell at me for about it later. I don't like watching TV, and I've played almost all of the video games on all of the game systems that we have. I still need to borrow the book I have to read for STA, but other than that...I've read A Clockwork Orange, R.U.R., Cat's Cradle, and On the Road several times. I've made three skirts, eight mixtapes, three shirts, two purses, and an entire scrapbook in the past month and a half or so. Yeah...I need to stop being home.

Anyway, I was reading some old conversations from earlier this year that I had with Katie and my ex-boyfriend Jack and a few others. For one, man...did I really sound that tool-ish six months ago? Gosh. Also, I realized I really threw away I love yous with Jack. I never really meant it, to be honest...why the hell did I ever say it? I can't believe I got into so many fights with Katie. I've grown to tolerate her a lot now, and she's really grown to live by not going by looks in boys anymore. I respect her a lot for that. And I think it's funny that Frank called me his best friend before we started dating, even though he had only known me for about...what? Like, two months? Oh well.

Funny story: We were talking about eyes for some reason, and Adam had mentioned something about how he can never really tell what color his eyes are, and apparently, Frank had the same problem. Then Frank had mentioned that he couldn't see my pupils because my eyes are a really, really dark brown. So he spent a good five minutes just repeating, "your pupils...YOUR PUPILS! WHERE ARE YOUR PUPILS!"

Also, I changed my livejournal for privacy reasons, mostly. Or maybe I just don't want my brother and sister to read it anymore.

Heh :)