The First

"That's something I think is growing on me as I get older: happy endings."
Alice Munro

No, I can't say I'd agree with that quote. Firstly, I'm an eternal being. So I don't actually grow older. And even if I did, I don't believe in happy endings. Good triumphing over evil, with everyone living happily ever after only happens in fairy tales. In real life, all bets are off to who wins and who loses in the game of life.

Some humans are more fortunate than others. Some do get happy endings. If one could actually call growing old with a loved one a true happy ending. I just call it growing old and dying, but then I'm not the sentimental sort. Clearly thats what certain soulful vampires like Angel and Spike long to do with their truest love one day. Good luck with that boys. Given your track records, its not likely. But I guess foolish hopes keep some poor lost souls going no matter how impossible a better tomorrow is.

And if I did get my deepest darkest desire, it would not be the kind of happily ever after humanity would like anyway. So no, I don't believe in, nor do I care about such foolish human desires for happy endings. If I get one - great. If I don't, then whatever.

theatrical_muse: Topic # 244
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 244

Discuss an individual who has scared you.

I've been around for far too long... yes I know, I'm older than dirt. But I still got spring in my step and the motivatiness of a youngster. But I digress.

They say you are what you eat. In my case, guess it could be said, I am who I pretend to be. Some of those I've pretended to be are scared of certain individuals. Most beings do have fears. Some rational and expected given their abusive backgrounds. While others are how should I put it, crazy is a good word. Some people have very irrational and unwarranted fears and worries. Such as those that are scared of freaking harmless animals. Seriously, how the hell is Anya and Xander afraid of bunnies or clowns. Out of all the things in the Universe to be afraid of, being scared of such things is silly. At least Spike is afraid of Bears. Bears are big, bad, and deadly. While clowns are not dangerous. Unless their a psycho serial killer, which is very uncommon, and okay some clowns are weird and or creepy.

Yet guess bunnies or clowns aren't pathetic as poor Buffy's all consuming fear of making out with hot Vampire's. Oh stay away from me you big bad hunks of man, I so wanna be ravaged by the irresistible sexiness of you and certain Slayers... for I am now bi-curious. But alas, I am too afraid of commitment or actually being happy with anyone that really loves me. So I cannot ever have intimate relations with anyone other than those who are cannon fodder, cursed to never be happy, or doomed to die a horrible death.

Okay enough mocking the love life of a certain female superhero. Least she is smart enough to never get married like some heroes. Anyhow, being the source of all evil. And the most annoying force in 52 known Universes, I'm usually the one doing the scare tactics. You'd be surprised, but some folks are actually scared when they see a long dead individual show up and start talking to them. Or maybe their just scared of hot guys and girls. Clearly some people can't handle the hotness that is me. But seriously, most people are so cynical and clueless in the modern world, they don't even notice or give a crap if someone is supposed to be dead or not. A good percentage of the populace doesn't even know who the heck Elvis is. How can anyone not know who the King is baby. I blame schools. And parents. Completely clueless people that have the power to vote and decide who runs the county should be enough to scare any sane person, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway back on topic. I'm pretty private. Hence the nobody knowing much, if anything about me. So not much for the talking about my fears or getting involved in all the dramatic tabloid ho-ha-has like the celebs and television personalities that share far too much of their personal lives with the world. Speaking of which, to ensure that I answer this topic. I'll go with whats his name, that guy who always has a smile on his face. The one that talks about being a better you or whatever. I think he's called Joel Osteen. Mr. Smiley Face certainly is an individual that scares me. Anybody who is always acting that nice and that smiles that much is beyond frightening. It's unnatural to smile that damn much. If I smiled that much, I'd have to be either possessed or Joker level insane. Individuals with big old smiles on their faces is one of those things that freaks me out. But guess that's just me... or not.

theatrical_muse: Topic # 240
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 656

What does respect mean to little old me? It means very little. Least when it comes to showing respect to others. Cause seriously, being nice or respectful is not really my thing.

Just like I don't believe in that old saying honor among thieves. Their is no honor. There is also no real respect among most people. Certainly no respect among those with less than admirable reputations. The simple fact is, respect is a hard thing to find, and an even harder thing to receive. Cause its far more common for everybody to disrespects everyone else. Even when they try not to, its in their nature. Humans are not born to be well mannered or play well with others. They are selfish and vain. Very much envious and jealous of others for a million different reasons. We always want what we don't have. Always wanting more, and thinking that in more possessions, we will also gain more power. And in doing so, gain some level of desperately needed respect from the pathetic little people around us.

Truth be told, some do earn a degree of respect through their own stubborn will to succeed, to over-come insurmountable odds. For instance, humans have high and noble notions about what a hero should be. Many respect such people that embody those most noble qualities of man. But even the best, has little respect, and wants more, feeling under-valued and not appreciated like they should.

I myself am beyond the need for respect or the desire to be loved. Goodness knows I don't expect anyone to admire me. Respect is meaningless to anyone with true power. Fear is a far more powerful thing to have than respect. So I'd rather have fear over any meaningless respect any day.

theatrical_muse: Topic #236
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 315

Is there a situation when it is appropriate to be unkind? You gotta be kidding me. The hell. I'm evil, so its a given what my point of view is on this subject. Of course there is a situation, many situations when it is like totally appropriate to be unkind. Like if someone is dressed badly, hello it would be a crime not to tell them how horrible they look. They might be upset at first, but your really doing them a favor. Like Cordy mentioned with the whole her with the short hair thing. If I'd been around, I so would've told her how awful her hair style was. Like I wouldn't wish a bad hair style on my worst enemy. Well maybe my worst, but what was I talking about. Uh, who cares.

Any who, only a doormat with no self-esteem would let others walk all over them, and allow them self to be disrespected. I'm no doormat. If someone treats me like crap, its a given that I'm so gonna treat them like crap right back. Turnabout is fair play or something like that.

Whats the old saying. Do unto others before they do it unto you. So hell yeah Jack, its always of the good to be unkind in my book. That's what I love about my Spikey boo. With him, there isn't no or is that any beating around the bush. Anyway, he tells it like it is. All forceful and direct... and straight forward like. Blondie Bear is blunt as a hammer. You piss him off, he'll tell you about it. And won't say I'm sorry or apologize for being a real man. Umm, turns me on just thinking about him.

But think I'm getting off subject. The answer to the question is yes there is a situation when it is appropriate to be unkind to someone. If you don't like someone, that is reason enough to be unkind. In business, war, property disputes, people with horrible tastes in clothing or men. Whatever the reason, being unkind is impossible to avoid. People are not very nice to one another, and most will never treat each other with dignity or respect. Long as there is differences. Just like their will always be the pretty people and ugly people. The rich and the poor. The in crowd and the losers. Their will always be hatred and unkindness. Long as their is evil petty people in the world, there will always be unkindness in the world.

theatrical_muse: Topic #232
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 444

If you could get anyone drunk, who would it be and what would you do?

I am the First Evil. I am unstoppable cosmic power... evil incarnate. Do you think I would waste my time trying to get anyone drunk? If you said hell yeah, then you know me oh so well. Getting someone drunk is a good way to manipulate a person into doing bad things. A good way to have someone let out all those dark desires and inhibitions they are afraid to show when sober.

Someone drunk is more likely to act like a complete idiot, among other things. So if I could get anyone drunk, guess I would go with Spike. He is always allot more fun to be around drunk, than sober. Even with a soul and a guilty conscience these days. When he's drunk, the good times roll.

So yeah, I would get Spike drunk. Or more the case drunker than usual. The guy can really hold his liquor. And what we would do is go to some place fun. And have a big party. Cause neither of us have had a good party in ages.

theatrical_muse: Topic #229
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 205

"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?" Marcel Marceau.

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theatrical_muse
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 326

"Never pray for justice, because you might get some."
Margaret Atwood.

I like this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson a little better. "One man's justice is another's injustice; one man's beauty another's ugliness; one man's wisdom another's folly."

They say the good Lord never makes us suffer more than we can bare. And that all prayers are answered, even if we don't like the answer we get. Men are not angels, and its not in their nature to be anything but selfish. Not even the most noble soul pray's for justice out of a desire for good or love to conquer all. People pray for vengeance and misfortune to fall upon those they hate. Most aren't very kind or compassionate when it comes to wanting justice against anyone that has done them wrong. The justice most want, is very much cruel and evil. Human justice is not fair or pretty. The poor, minorities, illegal immigrants... anyone without value or hated by those in control of society will always be judged more harshly. They will always have a different standard of justice applied against them. And that intolerance... that hate... prejudice... the inability to understand or be objective in judging others will forever leave justice as neither blind or fair.

When a man wants to kill an animal, he calls it sport; when an animal wants to kill him, he calls it an evil ferocious beast deserving of death. That hardly seems fair now does it. And the distinction between crime and justice is no different. Justice is in the eye of the beholder. And the one with the most power, decides what is just, or right. And the one with the least power is nothing more than an animal waiting to be put down. It was the same 10,000 years ago, and will be the same so long as man has greed, lust, and all the other deadly sins in his heart. Mans evil nature, will always prevent justice from prevailing. Any good doers that think they can change the world. They are spitting in a ragging fire. Their actions, however noble or good, does not change the fact that the world is unjust, and will always be evil.

Some hope that time or fate will bring justice to all evil-doers. That those who do bad things will suffer and pay for their wrong doing in the end. Because good is supposed to win, and bad is supposed to lose. But I've been around a long time. I've seen good people die young. Seen those that do the most good, and deserve happiness, find nothing but misery and much suffering. While, I've seen the most evil people live long and happy lives. So life, or fate isn't always fair. Time nor fate cares about justice. Time exists not for man. Like evil, it just exists. And like evil, time destroy's all, good and bad without mercy or reason. Cause the cold hard truth, is that there is no reason to man's justice. In the end, it's all about power. Power and who uses it the best, decides what justice is.

We all can't be like the Lord. I've found that everyone save for he who was without sin, deserves punishment. The sinner will never pray for justice for them self. They will only pray for justice for those that have hurt them. They expect for only good things to happen to them, and to never suffer for any bad things they do. And very few pray for forgiveness or mercy for their enemy. I can't speak for the God most people pray too. Yet I do answer some prayers in my own unique way. I give people their own form of justice. I might even give them exactly what they prayed for. But like the old saying, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. Justice is the same way. Good or bad, justice is usually bittersweet.

theatrical_muse: Topic # 221
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 691

Write about a lie your parents told you.

I'm the first evil. I never had any parents. So do think that would make it hard to answer this. Ah, but I can look like other people, and threw them I do have parents... of sorts. Though I'm sure not gonna go all sappy and sentimental over Buffy's wonderful mom Joyce Summers. God could anyone be any nicer, or sweeter. She was too perfect as a mother. To much unconditional love. Really who has unconditional love for anyone these days. Even when I pretended to be her, I couldn't help but be supportive and provide words of encouragement to Buffy and Dawn. Just thinking about her, makes me feel all sickening sweet.

So I prefer to think about a parent at the other end of the spectrum. As good and loving as Buffy's mother was. Angel's father was cruel, hateful, and abusive. Yet did Angel's parents ever lie to him, when he was human. Oh, wait no they didn't. They told him the cold hard truth. His father called him a good for nothing womanizing drunkard. Said he'd never amount to anything in life. And y'know what, that was the truth. As a human, he died a worthless failure, without the love of dear old dad. But as a Vampire, he was somebody. He found power in death that he never had in life. Personally I preferred the evil, sadistic, soulless version, to the puppy savin' remorseful sap of a hero with a soul. But will admit that as a Vampire he proved his old man wrong. That he could be somebody. He saved the world several times, and done more good than I'd ever thought possible.

But whether a parent lies to a child or not. The question is, did they do it to hurt you, or to protect you. Sometimes lies are better than the truth. I'm sure Angel would've preferred his Father to have lied to him, to have said that he was proud of him, and that he loved him. Even if it was a lie, it would be easier to accept than the truth. The truth that he was never good enough, and that he was never really loved. Aww, while in Buffy's form, that actually makes me feel sorry for my poor broody vampire. Too bad I can't give him a hug:)

Anyway, lies and parents pretty much goes hand in hand. Either they lie to you, or they don't. But they usually end up hurting you or making you feel like a disappointment at some point. Most parents are very much with the suck at being good parents. And that is probably the greatest reason why the world is such an evil and screwed up place.

theatrical_muse: Topic #218
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 490

"To be great is to be misunderstood." Quote by Oscar Wilde

Y'know, I like that quote. I am very much misunderstood. Most people are pretty stupid. They misjudge everything and everyone. Letting their own personal biases and prejudices cause them to see what they want to see. Which isn't always reality or the truth. They usually choose to see the worst in people. And that's where hate and intolerance comes from. Those that are different from them, are bad... evil... monsters. Even when their isn't a monster, they will make one, out of even the most innocent of creatures. Cause anything strange or ugly must be evil after all. Sometimes that's true. But sometimes the most beautiful of creatures can have the most cruelest and darkest of souls. While the most reviled of monsters can have a loving and heroic nature. Forced to suffer much abuse and hatred due to being judged on their looks, and not who they really are inside.

So humans can't help but to misunderstand and mistreat each other. They usually see with the eyes, and not the heart. Which works to the advantage of evil. So people do misunderstand who I am. I am a poor tortured soul. And nobody likes or understands me. If you pick up a hint of sarcasm. You'd be right. I don't give a crap, if people understand me or not. What they think means nothing. It's all about me baby, and what I want. Not having a conscience is a good thing sometimes. It saves me all the grief of giving a damn, like so many others do. Letting yourself care, lets others have control over you. Lets them manipulate and use you for their own selfish interests. Most people are users. They are takers. They don't care about anything or anyone but them self. So why should you give a rats ass what those people think. Their opinions mean nothing.

In terms of the being great part. I really don't like to brag. Haha, who am I kidding. I invented bragging. So I am way better than great. I'm awesome. I'm Da Bomb. I'm the Man... the Woman... the Biggest Bad Ever. I'm the freaking First Evil. So there really isn't a good enough word to describe how great I am. Nobody is greater than me. And if you don't understand me. To quote Rhett Butler from Gone With The Wind, "I really don't give a damn."

theatrical_muse: Topic #214
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 439

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about any one thing you wished -- concerning yourself, your life, the future, or anything else -- what would you want to know?

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theatrical_muse: Topic # 210
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 585

What do you live for?

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theatrical_muse: Topic # 206
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 222

I suppose some people would say that life's a game, at least while things went their way. Gamblers say that anyway, but most of them don't die laughing. I wonder what kind of game you think you're playing. I mean you. The person reading this.

Are you winning the rat-race or going to the dogs? Staying poker-faced, playing the cards close to your chest? Racing down the straight and narrow or playing the field? Or do you consider yourself a winner or a loser?

Of course, such things mean nothing to me. Didn't someone say that the gods do not play games with their universe? Now there's a nice thought - but a wrong one. The average god likes nothing better than a Roman circus act, and all their cards are marked and all their dice are loaded. I should know. The best motto for most of them would be, "Never give a sucker an even break."

So do you really want to know who I think is winning at the game of life?

Well, they always say the on-looker sees most of the game and I have a good view, from here. So to quote what a certain blue god-king once said "To never die and to conquer all. That is winning." I never die, and eventually my power will conquer all. Eventually everyone will surrender to my will. Til then, I just sit back and watch the foolish mortals play their meaningless little games. With a certain amount of amusement - from all the pathetic little lives scurrying about. They do keep things interesting. And since I'm evil and really don't care about anyone or anything but myself. I have everything to gain, and nothing to lose. So if I was playing a game, which I'm not, I'd say I was winning. For even if it appears to be otherwise. I always win.

theatrical_muse: Topic # 202
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 316

Yes, I was pretending to be my favorite souled vampire Spike last night and now I'm wearing the hot body of his ex-lover Buffy. It was such an unusual day that the sky was blue and the desert was dry. The sea was wet and the sun was hot. Most of the birds had feathers and the ones that didn’t were waiting to be eaten. The breeze was blowing but, oh wait - I couldn’t feel it because I am incorporeal. Or if you prefer the term IN-COR-POR-ATE!

Most humans are quite simple. So guess I need to keep this simple. And not use any big words or complicated terminology. Simply put, I don’t have a sex. And no I don't mean that I don't have sex. Well okay, I don't have a physical body, so is a given I'm not doing it physically. But didn't someone once say that sex is 90 percent fantasy and 10 percent physical. Virtual sex certainly is. Though not as stimulating as the passionate dreams I've felt. Vivid dreams are really hot and steamy. Lets just say that certain Slayer's and Vampire's have very McSteamy dreams. Maybe I should change to a nurse costume and look for my boys. Uh, maybe later.

Anyway, to get back to the subject. Boring as it is. I'm neither male, nor female. Neither demon, nor god. I'm a power. So I don't have a gender. I don't have balls as Buffy once put it. Or any of the carnal traits of you over-sexed losers. I don’t have secondary sexual characteristics or a gender identity either. It doesn’t apply!

And if you knew anything about me at all, you would know that bodies are nothing more than wearables to me. Morphing into a male or female form is inconsequential. I could change them a thousand times a day and never care about the gender of the costume. Why should I care about their sex, or about the color of their skin or how old they were when they died? I may be evil, but I'm not prejudice. Ageism, racism, sexism, and all those other ism's are human flaws.

I am The First Evil. That’s my role. And do guess there is one thing you can say in my favor. I am an equal opportunity employer. Not to mention that I look damn pretty in pink.

theatrical_muse: TOPIC # 199
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 424

If you could have any mutant/super power which one would it be and what would you do with it? (If you already have a mutant power, what one would you trade it in for?)

I ask again, who do the people that comes up with these bloody questions, think is responding to them? Hello, First Evil here. This question doesn't apply to me. I'm beyond any mutant or super powers the good guys or bad guys could comprehend. And if I did decide to limit myself. Which is highly unlikely. What I'd do with any shiny power I got, is an equally meaningless question. I'd do evil things. Cause I was doing evil when the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart weren't even a glimmer in their daddy's eye. For I am the First!

So anyhow, is pretty much a given that my powers can't be defined as mutant. The original cannot be the mutation of anything else. Plus I'm evil, so is no way I'd trade in any power at all, if I wanted new powers. I'd just take that power where you mimic or steal everyones else's powers. Then I'd have all the powers, and would go Na Na Na Na, I have all the powers and you don't.

But, seriously how could I desire any power held by sodding humans? There is no sensible response to this question. I could never be the possessor of any one power... I am power.

Although, perhaps for fun, and if just for a one shot deal. Do gotta admit that I find the powers of a certain singing demon to be quite entertaining. And he was right. Life's a show…

( Once More – With Evil )

theatrical_muse: Topic # 198
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 836

"The true magic of this broken world lay in the ability of the things it contained to vanish, to become so thoroughly lost, that they might never have existed in the first place." The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, by Michael Chabon.

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theatrical_muse: Topic #194
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 386

Just a burbling creek, far from the madding crowd. Nice. Very alive. Very green, isn’t it?

I’ve heard people asking why I bother humans. I don’t mean why I bother with them, although that’s something I'm not sure I could answer honestly anyway. But the thing that makes the watchers curious is why I take the trouble to intervene. I was here before the dinosaurs, and have every intention of being here when all my dear readers are little more than plankton in the sea of time. So why bother? After all, I have enough wearables to last me for a long time, even if I … indulge myself.

Yet by now you’ve probably heard the answer. From beneath you It devours. I’m not really … greedy, not a heavy eater. Not with all the vast masses of humanity to sample, in due course. Uh, eating pun not intended.

Think about the Christmas trees. Those fir trees withering and dying. I only took just a little life force, but cut trees don't have much - the men were fine, weren’t they? As far as they knew anyway. Perhaps they felt a little tired. They had a few extra aches, a cough or a tremor – now humans can find some of the causes. They can even cure some of them, nowadays, or stave off the inevitable a little, at least.

Soon they might even be able to tell when I’m there. Blight upon the crops; sickness amongst the beasts; a stream without fish or plants.

That serene brook brims with life, doesn’t it? What a nice vacation spot. I could probably linger there for a day or two, but it wouldn’t last. I’d have to move on. Cities last much longer.

theatrical_muse:: Topic #193
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 305

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theatrical_muse: Topic # 191
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 306

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theatrical_muse: Topic #190
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 500

So … is that what all this is about? Reading my mind? You'd like me to tell you what I'm thinking?

That might be amusing.

If you knew what I was thinking, if you could read my mind “right now” - do you have any idea what that would do to you? It almost makes me wish that I could invite you in and watch you writhe.

So much to do, and all the time of the world. I once thought that would be enough. It’s you people who don’t have enough time. There is always another apocalypse, always another threat, always another danger. It’s almost a definition of life, isn’t it? You go scurrying from one threat to another, accumulating injuries as you accumulate your pathetic wisdoms, wearing down, wearing out.

It’s one of the prices you pay for being corporal, isn't it? A downside of your ability to touch, to taste and to feel. There are so many prices, aren’t there? So many... layers to that. One flip-side is the number of things that can touch and taste you. All those diseases, the parasites nibbling away. That isn’t anything to envy. It’s not a coincidence that so many of your religions promise you an incorporeal afterlife, no accident at all. They promise you that the pain will stop, don't they?

Do you know what I’m thinking while I say this to you? Perhaps I’ll tell you while you sleep – and then you can tell them why you wake screaming.

theatrical_muse: Topic #189
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 268

Religion? You would ask Evil about religion? I am the embodiment of all that is evil. I am older than the written word. I transcend all realities and universes. I am the First Evil being ever to have existed. Beyond matter. Beyond space. Beyond time. I existed long before the universe was born and shall exist long after the universe dies. So religion means nothing to me. I am beyond such concepts. Not that I don't appreciate religion and the power it can place over those whom choose to believe.( Read more... )

theatrical_muse: Topic #186
Muse: The First
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Word Count: 699