V5.0 · Keeping · the · stars · apart

So I started a blog:

http://toastypineapple.blogspot.com/

I'll most likely continue to check LJ once every 46 years, like usual. Go the the blog! Leave me comments; make me feel loved.

So Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End was...well...exhausting.

( AWE spoilers behind the cizzut )

Everyone is giving Shrek the Third such a hard time, but I honestly didn't think it was that bad. True, it basically shat on the Arthurian legend, but those little baby donkey-dragon hybrids were damn cute. Bottom line is that if you don't take it too seriously, it's FINE. Critics are acting like Will Shakespeare let them down: it's a CG movie about an ogre! It's funny! Get that fork out of your ass and laugh!

I have been looking forward to the release of 300 for a long long long LONG time. Three reasons:

1. Pretty colors.
2. Bloody battle scenes.
3. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

Did it live up to my expectations?
( Click to find out! Unless you haven't seen it and don't wish to be spoiled. )

P.S. Leonidas munching on an apple in the middle of the battle-field was so. Freaking. Awesome.

I find myself suddenly overwhelmed by a raging, burning desire for Lost. Can it have been only four months since last we had a new episode to devour? It feels like four millenia. Oh Lost, how I have missed thee. How I long for your incomprehensible symbolism and gratuitous character casualties. Come back to me, Lost, I can endure the suspense no more!

So I stayed out pretty late last night and consequently slept for about two hours before violently rocketing from 'neath the covers to post in my LJ. Actually, to check Facebook, but whatever.

Anywho, what to say?
( clickit. )

I suppose that the normal thing to do at the start of a new year is to make a resolution. Unfortunately, I am so in need of resolve that I must make an entire list of resolutions.

( Rhea's Top Five Resolutions for the Year Two Thousand and Seven )

Well. I went to see Eragon, and, if you read my last entry, you'll know that I went into it with the lowest of low expectations. Turns out, it wasn't so bad. (!!!!)

( Although I have to admit that the highlight of the experience was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle trailer )

My exams are done on Wednesday at 10 a.m.! Until then, I must return to my hermetical life of studystudystudy.

Since I've done nothing for weeks except study for finals and wallow in adenoviral misery, I feel the need to rant. The movie version of Eragon opens this week and I'm excited. I realize that there is an abundance of haters, but hey, I like the Inheritance trilogy. AND I am literate.

( Find me a story that's 100% original and I'll give you 8 billion dollars...okay, great. )

I, being perpetually behind the curve on anything that doesn't pertain directly to my own academics or work, just finished watching last night's premiere of Lost. So allow me to wax poetic for just a moment.

Dear Lost,

I missed you over the summer. Your absence created a void in my life. Without you, I was forced to take things at face value. I stopped looking for the numbers in everyday existence. I stopped trying to spot Others in the backgrounds of movies and other TV shows. I even stopped--just for a few weeks, mind you--trying to make anagrams out of Henry Gale's name. But now that you're back, my life is complete once more,

Love,

Rhea

( At least they gave Kate a nice dress. )

ETA: OMGWTF. I just realized that the stuff I hid behind the cut didn't show up because I'm a fucking n00b.

As I enter my second week of sophomore year, I find myself noticing how conspicuous the freshmen are. And I wonder, was I such a pitiful, transparent mound of helplessness last year? So for those of you who are or will soon be entering your freshman year of college (at UMD or anywhere else in the wide world), here are some dangers signs. If you avoid doing the following, you'll enjoy a freshman year in which no one will be able to tell you're a freshman.

( Click click )

Remember way back in 2003, when people were all about the Peter/Wendy LJ icons and such? Well, I finally saw the movie on DVD.

( I FUCKING believe in fairies )

( ETA: I think James Bond is an ass. )

Snakes on a Plane is the most fucked-up movie ever. I know that there's some kind of inside joke and everyone thinks this movie is amazing, but it blew right by me and I sincerely regret wasting two hours of my life watching snakes maul people. On a plane. Although, I cannot deny the fact that Samuel L. Jackson is the man.

I went on a cruise to Alaska. For almost two weeks. And it was tiiiiiight.

I wish I could say more about the trip, but I got nothing. Other than the fact that the food on the ship was INCREDIBLE and I ate about 45 meals a day. And Alaska is gorgeous, but way too fucking cold for me.

Good times all around.

Skimming my past few entries has made me realize that if one were to formulate an opinion of me based solely on said entries, one might assume that I hate everything. This is simply not true. The only things that I really, truly, honestly hate, besides the musical Grease, are starlets.

( Starlets, you say? )

I hate the musical Grease with every fiber of my being.

This is NOT an exaggeration. The mere mention of Grease makes my skin crawl. AND I don't even dislike John Travolta, which may come as a surprise to some. Yes, I believe he resembles a moose, but he's not a bad sort.

So why do I detest Grease with such unbridled passion? Well, apart from the fact that the music is wholly unimpressive and unremarkable, the entire plotline is nothing but fluff and idiocy. The innocent and sheltered Sandy turns into a nicotine-infused slut in order to impress Travolta's underwhelming tight-pants-wearing heartthrob. And then everybody dances off into the sunset or something.

Farce, you say? Well, farce you. I think satire or farce or parody or whatever Grease sympathizers use to justify this idiotic contribution to American musical theatre should be executed with style and humor (think Avenue Q), of which Grease is utterly devoid. Granted, I have not seen the stage production, but if the music is so disappointing on screen, I doubt it will win me over on stage.

Bottom line: GREASE STINKS. GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL.

I'd just like to make something clear for anyone and everyone who follows the fashion of those young startlets who wear gigantic sunglasses and have no butts: NOBODY IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE LOOKS GOOD IN STRAIGHT-LEG JEANS.

Jeans are a sacred thing. They are comfortable, versatile, and flattering. They accentuate one's womanly form while subtly concealing the imperfections of the human body. This is why it is essential for jeans to be designed very carefully: we all depend on our jeans, even more than we depend on our hoodies and flip-flops. So why, why, WHY disturb this sanctity by rekindling the nauseating trend of straight-leg jeans? Why make our thighs look huge and our calves look teeny? Why create that awkward little bunch at our ankles where the hem of the jeans doesn't know what to do with the tops of our shoes? WHY MAKE US FASHION-CONSCIOUS WOMEN OF THE YEAR 2006 LOOK LIKE AN OLD-SCHOOL FULL HOUSE RERUN???!

You may think you're the exception. Maybe you are a size 0 and have a tiny waist and long legs. I promise: YOU STILL DON'T LOOK GOOD IN STRAIGHT-LEG JEANS. Go ahead, try them on if you don't believe me.

For my part, I refuse to succumb to this fad. I will wear my bootcut skinny flares and I will wear them with pride, for I have the fortitude to resist this miserable straight-leg jean craze. If you choose to purchase a pair of straight-leg jeans, may you encounter many days of bloated, menstrual misery before you see the error of your ways.

Anyone else think Ian McKellen is having the best month ever?

( X-citing? X-cessive? X-ponential regression? Okay, that didn't work. )

p.s. There are spoilers behind the cut.
p.p.s. I was really hoping that Storm would pipe up with "X-MEN? Bitch, plz."