Here we are, Dear old friend, You and I drunk again. Laughs have been had, Tears have been shed, Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head. But if I were gay, I would give you my heart And if I were gay, You'd be my work of art. And if I were gay we would swim in romance, But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants. It's not that I don't care, I do, I just don't see myself in you. Another time Another scene I'd be right behind you.. If you know what I mean. Cause if I were gay, I would give you my soul, And if I were gay I would give you my whole... Being. And if I were gay we would tear down the walls, but I'm not gay So won't you stop cupping my.. Hand. We've never hugged We've never kissed I've never been intimate with your fist. But you have opened brand new doors, get over here and drop your drawers.