prepare & repair

_techromance @ 2008-01-01T12:34:00

2008-01-01T18:37:40Z

happy new years everybody!

mine spent at ghost house. talks with old friends. lindsay. will. brad. mike. andy. arman. megan. everyone. it was nice. saw take charge for the first time, finally. brad put the whipped topping on that show. haha.
got bored with the idea of parties so went home at ten to hang out with my family.
i couldn't have spent my night any better. really. i love my family with all my heart. more than i could ever begin to explain. they will be my next tattoo for sure.
rock band till 12:

last night i was thinking about how this journal keeps my memories and i think i really need that because i tend to forget much to easily. so i think i'll keep this but make it private.

so, if you need to contact me, myspace.com/shhmorggg

_techromance @ 2007-12-09T14:12:00

2007-12-09T20:13:43Z

i need to get out of this house. really.
i want to go home. six days.
boys make no sense. ever.
i hate bitches. always.
i'm so lost. so lost.

_techromance @ 2007-11-04T11:44:00

2007-11-04T17:46:30Z

i may love this place but i need home. too much doesn't work. i have no money. i have no food. i have no love. i have no sense of who i am anymore.
i miss my family. i miss him, even if he is here. i miss having talent. i miss feeling like i had a solid place.

i'm so lost.
and what would i do without my roommates, they are my best friends in the world. i won't be able to stand it without them.

_techromance @ 2007-10-15T00:30:00

2007-10-15T05:30:48Z

i'm trying my best to forget you.

i don't even know anymore. i really don't.

_techromance @ 2007-10-02T21:58:00

2007-10-03T03:26:28Z

we had the best photo shoot EVER the other night. we got the studio from 10PM-3AM and danced all night and got some of the funniest pictures.
we decided we'd dress up as typical guys.

typical gay

typical scenester

typical redneck

typical child molester

rick and randy hahah

i love my roommates more than anything. they are what gets me through.

_techromance @ 2007-09-28T21:07:00

2007-09-29T02:15:01Z

so i had to get some studio time so here are some of the photos i took.
more to come sunday night after we go to the studio, all my roommates, and all my neighbors. haha, it's gonna be a BLAST! seriously.

my roommate katie!

favorite!

this one we kept falling over on each other, trying so hard to stand up straight, ha.

trying to get a jump shot.

bitch please shots.

thanks self timer.

the next ones will be so much better because i'm gonna go rent a camera from the media center and it will be way better than my shitty one.
things have been okay. i got an interview at urban outfittters which i'm so excited about! um, i liked someone, then they all of a sudden stopped liking me, and now i'm fucking depressed most the time. but i'm trying to get out of that. whatever. school's going well though. no one even reads this anymore anyway.

_techromance @ 2007-09-22T16:22:00

2007-09-22T21:52:53Z

things here are undescribable.
great, depressing, fun, lonely, and everything inbetween.
i don't know, college is college, and i like it overall.
here are some pictures. they are pretty great.

my messy room.

my view, look you can see downtown!

this is our third fishie, ahaha, his name is diego and he is a sweet heart. he dances with me and gets all excited when i tap on his bowl.

gross experiments. ahah, i'm getting better.

"then i talked into the celery like this.."

hahah, we broke the box we were sitting in.

andrew and meredith enjoying some cereal.

this was one of the best nights i've had since i got here, banana phones.

oh, those glasses

hahaha.

dying my hair, ahah.

our own housewife, for the night!

hahahah oh my god.

it really sucks not having money, it really sucks not having food, it sucks not having affection.
but really other than that things have been great. dancing to gravy train at home with the girls, chiling at the boys, watching movies, driving around, just everything is great in this city.
i just miss home a lot. my family mostly. i'll be home soon.

_techromance @ 2007-08-31T00:46:00

2007-08-31T05:47:25Z

new life, new friends, new home, new ink.

_techromance @ 2007-08-24T04:42:00

2007-08-24T09:38:40Z

this afternoon this is where i'll be. i don't feel ready but everyone tells me i am. i'm scared of change, but who isn't right? i don't think i can handle leaving my boy behind. this morning will be hell leaving him. i've tried not to cry these last few days but i broke down last night when my brother found my letter i wrote to him. he started to cry and i just lost it. that show how much he really cares about me and how much he really doesn't want me to go. he's the best brother anyone could ever ask for, really.
my room is empty, i didn't have a bed tonight, which caused me to not be able to sleep. that's why i'm writing this at four in the morning.
wish me luck in all this. i hope i've grown up enough to handle this on my own. i really would rather not let anyone down.

_techromance @ 2007-08-20T11:24:00

2007-08-20T16:31:44Z

i doubt anyone will read this anymore.
but i'm off to college in what..four days. off to minneapolis. i'm scared but excited as well. i feel i'm so behind on what everyone else has learned, like i don't have the social skills to do what i want to do. and i really would rather not leave my home. but i know this is what i need to do. it's coming so soon i think i could vomit.
i just really hope things with me and brad work out. i love the boy, i love him to death.
"i know things are going to be rough and neither of us will want to wait to see each other, but baby i promise i will always be by your side if you need me, and when you need me there, i will be on the next flight out.

i love you
and i couldnt wish for anyone else in the world."

i hope i can do this.

on a lighter note..
i got a couple new things..

meet pegasus! my see through fishy! i love him so much. he gets all excited when my face comes by his bowl. and every morning when i feed him he swims all fast when i shake his food. haha.
another new toy of mine..haha

i love this, my first phone. finally. haha.

but last night brad and i watched jesus camp, it absolutely scared the shit out of me.
then we went rollerblading! haha, i fell down three times, the last time i got like a cement burn on my butt, haha, i had to stop at that point. today, we are going to eat huhot, and i'm going to go get three shots! lovely! haha.
talk to you later.

_techromance @ 2007-06-28T23:47:00

2007-06-29T04:39:57Z

so i have this boy.
i live for nights like tonight.
movie moments. nights i want to be able to watch over and over again.
suprises and pancakes. dancing and kisses. pulp fictions and just being care free. butterflies with you.
perfect nights like tonight, are the ones i'll never forget.

_techromance @ 2007-06-16T20:28:00

2007-06-17T01:32:37Z

um, some serious changes have happened in my life. i'm a graduate of high school. i got my lip pierced. i got my new car. and some other things, ahaha. leanne you know what i'm talking about.
i think it's the time were i'm really suppose to start living.
the faint was last night with leanne, dustin, and some other kids. it was seriously just as great as all the other times i saw them. i got sandwiched between two gay guys, ahaha. then danced with this very pretty girl, i was bummed i only got one dance. more shows soon, i'm so excited.
hope everyone is well.

_techromance @ 2007-06-12T13:33:00

2007-06-12T18:34:23Z

this is why i'm so scared to leave home. i love my brother too much. but we try to use the time we have to have the most fun. and that's exactly what we are doing.

dead

not sure..haha

best

i love how we can just sit around play guitar hero, watch super nanny and kyle xy and just love it. i don't think i could have ever asked for a better brother. i love you hunts.

_techromance @ 2007-06-10T10:34:00

2007-06-10T15:36:03Z

summer has been amazing and it hasn't even been a full week yet!
i'm so glad for:
best friends
shows in omaha
walking in on guys in the women's bathroom in weird gas'nshops
getting off on martha
dancing
singing
hahah, mac driving a stick shift
and you know everything else that has made this so great.
graudation was yesterday. i'm done with high school forever! i couldn't be more happy.

_techromance @ 2007-06-05T16:27:00

2007-06-05T21:27:35Z

it would still be amazing if i didn't have to go to work!

last day of photography, it doesn't seem like it. i'll miss genni and haley more than they will probably even realize.
went on an adventure with my bestie, leanne. village inn, incubus, victoria secret, and movie moments. i love you leanne. this summer will blow the rest out of the water.

now here's a treat.
sorry for how stupid of a laugh i have..

life really is beautiful.

besides the fact that there is jazz in june and we'll have five people in my small little store downtown. god we are gonna be so busy.
i miss my best friend, i walked into guitar center today and almost cried.
things are going to get better. this summer will be THE best.

_techromance @ 2007-05-01T22:52:00

2007-05-02T02:50:22Z

numb:

1. deprived of physical sensation or the ability to move: fingers numb with cold.
2. manifesting or resembling numbness: a numb sensation.
3. incapable of action or of feeling emotion; enervated; prostrate: numb with grief.
4. lacking or deficient in emotion or feeling; indifferent: She was numb to their pleas for mercy.

there is nothing better to describe myself lately.

_techromance @ 2007-02-16T19:24:00

2007-02-17T01:24:59Z

I GOT ACCEPTED!

THIS IS WHERE I'LL BE NEXT FALL.
life is good.

_techromance @ 2006-12-29T01:07:00

2006-12-29T01:07:23Z

is it really that bad to have a crush on a video game character?

the greatest thing is she can't even break your heart.

haha, only bad thing is, i hate how i gawk at her then fuck up on my game.

_techromance @ 2006-12-14T03:47:00

2006-12-14T03:47:25Z

this is the only thing i'll miss about this place.
i love you.

oh yeah, i'm proud of myself, i have straight a's..besides two b+'s and a c.

_techromance @ 2006-12-08T03:21:00

2006-12-08T03:21:31Z

here i come

_techromance @ 2006-12-07T02:35:00

2006-12-07T02:35:28Z

okay here we go..
act in three days, wish me luck, for real.
i got a reply back from kermit at the minneapolis college of art design, he says it looks like i have a natural talent for photography but he wants me to put more of an idea, linking the photographs together. so he said he would like to see some new work in the next two weeks. so i need models, big time. anyone that can help and actually go through with it, get ahold of me. so things are looking pretty good as long as i can tackle, doing damn good on the act, kicking ass on my portfolio, and passing my math class, other than math i pretty much have straight a's. i'm pretty proud.

_techromance @ 2006-12-04T22:25:00

2006-12-04T22:25:15Z

"don't say no to it. you can't say no to it. just throw yourself in. just give yourself in, to the pattern."

so i'm more lost than ever before. i feel no one to turn to or no where to go. i'm scared of leaving my family behind, but other than that i'm ready to get away. i hope i make it. i hope they find what makes them happy. all of them.
i'm ready to lose myself in the big city. figure things out, he describes it like it's so easy. let me tell you, i'm having a hard time. it's been moving way too slow for way too long.
i'm not sure anyone will really understand.

_techromance @ 2006-11-28T20:34:00

2006-11-28T20:34:22Z

i'm sick i'm sick i'm sick

and i'm tired

_techromance @ 2006-11-27T21:41:00

2006-11-27T21:41:42Z

in the night my parents set traps.
in the afternoon my mom picks up the step to find a baby mouse stuck to a glue pad. i ran for guilt that there was no way i could save him, the only way would rip his tiny feet. i got quite emotional and started to cry for guilt, i can't save him. now he's still under the step, trying to escape and i'm filled with guilt that i can't save him. all anyone else can do is joke.

_techromance @ 2006-11-25T05:24:00

2006-11-25T05:24:52Z

no one really knows what i feel like, no one, maybe not even myself. maybe that's what makes me so lonely.