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Beautiful Love - The afters |
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Autumn is the perfect time to fall in love. The perfect time to find that someone special to cuddle with and keep warm all winter, but it isn't going to happen this fall for me. I have never felt so comfortable being alone before in my entire life, because I don't think since I started dating, that I was ever COMPLETELY alone, without even "talking" to a potential someone. Of course, it's taking some getting used to, because I am a relationship person, straight and to the point. There are some people that are fine with going years without ever being in a relationship, I've never been one of those people. Since Nick and I ended our two year relationship, it's been a roller coaster with guys for me. I went right for Matt, and wanted something out of that, ultimately, it would have crashed and burned worse than anything because I simply was not ready for it. Moving on, there were throughout the summer a few potential interests, which lead into my relationship with Twomey... After being straight up DUMPED by him, it made me realize, that it just is not worth it. It's not worth wasting time leaping into relationships to simply be in one. It hit me finally, and it all makes sense. My friends have always told me I need to just be alone for a bit, and not LOOK for anyone, and that is when I will meet someone who will move me. It could take months, or it could take years. For now, I feel 100% focused on my job, and I am doing a damn good job there. I'm trying to be focused on doing things for MYSELF, which I never really did before. I've always lived for others, now I'm living for me. It feels really refreshing to not be constantly caught up on someone else. It makes me really happy that I seem to be actually doing well being alone. It makes me feel independent for once in my life. Nobody else is there to make me happy except myself. I think this is really what I need to grow up, it really is. Of course, it gets lonely on the cold nights, but I can get through it. This is the time for me to change and grow, and I need to do it on my own. For those of you that actually read that, thank you, and I hope that you will support me on this, because I'll need to surround myself with some good people. I've narrowed and weeded out the true from the fake, so now I'm gonna act on that.
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