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Sunday, April 24th, 2005
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8:34 am - An entry worth looking back on
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Okay so in our last episode of "Days of My Life: A series of Unfortunate Events" I...
was dumped because my b/f was running away with the circus, accidentally shown my breasts to the mailman, ate some bad meat and had food poisoning, got a phone call..looked on my caller ID and saw "CIRCUS", had an asthma attack almost went to the hospital, and lucky me got my period..didn't know because I still have my birth control in..so I went to a meeting with a NUN from Leominster who saw that my BUTT WAS RED...and got STOOD UP by a STRIPPER...
Picking up from there... our strapping ambitious carnie character Michael quit clowning around and came back to confess his true love at 3 o'clock in the morning after our jinxed character Kelly was stood up by a stripper, drank vodka and took sleeping pills because she was NOT thinking. (It was an accident- don't worry guys) After barfing her brains out they spent a lot of time together fearlessly feeling feelings. There were dinner dates and many conversations of life, love, marriage, children, goals, and so forth... Michael and Kelly went for a ride to find a symbol of their commitment, promises, and love. This was not going to be an easy task; they both wanted something unique as they are. It was decided to go to a jeweler and have one custom made.
In the next 48 hours while the ring was in preparation Kelly and April, her kind and caring friend of many years, began to plan and prepare Vagina Party II.
Saturday morning came and as Kelly finished knotting her last animal balloon the phone rang....
It was him. The baby daddy.
It was agreed he could spend time with Lynaiah and take her out for pizza. His trustworthy brother would be driving and present.
Kelly and April left for a trip to Wal*mart and the grocery store. They arrived back at Kelly's and noticed it was taking longer than usual to go out for pizza. About 3 hours...
Kelly called Israel to see what was happening. He was specifically told NOT to leave town with her, NOT to bring her to Worcester because Kelly is apprehensive about her baby staying in Great Brook Valley, however he left town with the baby and told her in so many words that he wasn't bringing Lynaiah back. After arguing on the phone and commanding that he bring her baby back he hung up on Kelly and stopped answering his phone. Michael and Kelly went to the police station around 7. Kelly spoke to an officer who called Israel and ordered that he bring the baby back by 8. He had 45 minutes or he would be charged with Custodial Kidnapping. Kelly could hear him arguing and talking aggressively to the officer. At one point he asked the officer what the charges would be and what punishment he would face to see if it was worth keeping the baby and getting trouble. Kelly and Michael left the Police Station and waited at home for him to drop off the baby. Well, time went by and Israel decided that it was worth getting trouble and may have thought the officer was bluffing. 8 p.m. came and went. No baby. Kelly called at 8:30 and 8:45 to see if he came to the police station or what they were doing. Nothing. In bewteen sequences and the drama Michael opened a soft little black box containing a sparkling 14K white gold diamond ring. While April cleaned Kelly's dishes and wiped sludged from her sink, Michael slid the ring on Kelly's finger. Regardless of everything else happening, nothing stopped them from allowing themselves to feel loved for the next few moments. At 9 p.m. Kelly and her sister, Tamara, went back to the police station. Filled out paperwork. He was now being charged. The officer made many phone calls between 9 and 10:30 p.m. No answers. He'd call back and hang up or talk to the cop and bullshit.
Finally, just before Michael and Kelly were about to leave before Kelly had a panic attack in the witness/interrogation room from feeling like she shouldn't just claustrophobically sit in a little room but drive to the Valley and decide with her maternal instincts to take action and break his little balls to get her baby back- he called the officer back. He told them he didn't have the baby anymore. Her heart sank and raced: "Where is she?!" "What did he do?!" His voice sounded flat, emotionless, desperate...The officer kept repeating "Where did you bring the baby? Where is she? What did you do with the baby?" Kelly's guts and stomach felt like they were on fire and slowly oozing down to the floor. Finally he answered and admitted to dropping her off at Kelly's mother's house before racing out of town.
With an officer, Michael and Kelly went to pick up Lynaiah then walked to her house.
After kissing her face, Kelly gave Lynaiah cold medicine and put her to bed.
Michael left shortly after.
Kelly and her friends had good times while waiting for "Brandon", their stripper fo rthe night, to show.
He came. Well, not REALLY came. But he showed up, things got crazy, it was fun, then he sat and chilled on Kelly's couch chatting with the girls. For some reason during the remainder of his visit Kelly seemed to become his target for random jokes and needless rude comments. She started to feel uncomfortable. He actually asked her friends if they were REALLY her friends or if they just felt bad for her. This was behind her back while she was sticking her ass out of her open window yelling into a megaphone for some guy that was walking down the street to kiss her ass. Kelly is aware that sometimes she can be a lot ot handle, but she had thought everyone was having a good time with her.
Maybe next time she'll make sure to take her adderall..
Michael leaves for the circus today. Kelly is afraid of how she'll feel missing him for the next coming months.
current mood:  melancholy
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| Friday, April 15th, 2005
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9:59 pm - VAGINA PARTY!
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Tomorrow night- Saturday. ANYONE'S welcome IF you have a vagina. Seeing as how my boyfriend has decided to break up with me TO JOIN THE CIRCUS (yeah I know, don't ask..), I'd really like to have some company and spend some quality time with my girls. Send me a message! Email me! Or call me 978-733-1635
Pass it on to the female species....
current mood:  curious
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| Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
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11:55 am - Where's LIBERTARIAN? uhhh
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11:09 am - I give up.
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Well once again I gave up and things worked themselves out. The landlord was notified that theyre in the process of sending him his money. So I hope he's happy. Mike and I worked things out, ofcourse. There's still a possibility he'll be moving- but we're willing to stay together and I'm willing to really try to have faith no matter what happens. I'm hoping and praying this job Mike wants works out. And even if it does I'm praying something better will come along, too. I hope he finds what makes him happy. Even if it means he'll be moving. It'll suck but I really hope we can make things work regardless of distance. He could be anywhere in the world and I wouldnt love him any less or give up. My family made an effort to make sure I knew that one of my workers is trying to get a hold of me and didnt have my new #. So I guess they do care. Kinda. Days ago I cried cause I had nothing to feed my daughter. I didn't eat for 3 days to make sure she could (and because I was emotional). Yesterday I went grocery shopping and now I have my fridge and cabinets full for her, and didn't have to spend my own money. I don't have a couch or a kitchen table or anything like that yet but I know I'll be getting them soon and I don't have to worry about it or how I'll afford them. I have 2 whole dollars for the month until a damn check comes and I don't know when it is. But I don't even care because it's all working out. And I have a REALLY good feeling something REALLY good is going to happen to me today! :)
current mood: intuitive
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| Sunday, March 20th, 2005
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9:55 pm
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Well, this place is starting to come together. I'm suprised cause I have no energy. I've been making plans all over the place to get my mind off things. I have moments where I feel like things are getting easier and then I get so angry. I don't really have any one particular person to be angry with. So I mostly ask You why You hate me so much. I feel like a little girl sometimes. You talk to me, but I don't want to hear it. I want things MY way cause I can't except there's a reason and a purpose and something better. I don't know why You ask me to do such hard things. Cause when I put my faith and trust in You and do what's best, I do it thinking doing what's best will bring me joy and bring me something good. I'm so confused there's no reward I expect. I don't understand anything. You guide me You keep me strong You keep me sheltered, fed, and supported.. and I do what You ask and it rips me apart. Most of family isn't talking to me, my best friend THE love of my life is leaving, my body is a mess, my mind is a mess, I might lose this apt now cause the money isnt going through and the landlord is pissed. what else is there to dwell on. All I have is questions for You cause I can't find anything to be greatful for. I dont know what's next and it's terrifying. I just give up cause thats what seems to work for me. You need to SHOW me HOW cause I don't know the HOW.
current mood:  uncomfortable
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| Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
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10:31 pm - New!
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new lj. ahh fresh start.
So what's been happenin? Some crazy sh%$#!
I'm moving into Mike's house this week. I don't want me and Lynaiah to stay at a shelter. Those can be tough. I meet with a domestic violence worker this week to talk about my situation and housing. I've been doing everything I can to get it. Emergency housing takes up to 3 months. It could be longer before I get in somewhere. If it does take long and my time runs up at Mike's and i have no where to go then I'll have to go to a shelter. It's not fun. People steal your stuff. The whole atmosphere is rough. You get moved around.
I'm pretty upset that I'm not going back to school this semester. I was doing good.
I signed myself up for anger management classes because all this stress is getting to me. I'm going through a lot. I'm like the only one there *not* court ordered to be there. haha. I like going.
My lungs are not doing well. It's difficult in the winter.
Lynaiah's stressed out too. It's been hard to get her to eat.
I had fun Thurs going to Mike's tap class. I hope he does a recital at the end of the year! I want to see what my money has paid for! I'm so thankful to have him in my life. He's done so much for me.
Counseling has been so helpful. I really like the place I go to. It's like getting hypnotherapy for free. I leave feeling so good. It's pretty devastating that every time I go through a difficult situation blocked memories of even worse situations appear. I really can't believe I'm still here. I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe I'm still alive.
Everyday I spend up to 3 hours praying. And when I lay in my bed at night in tears I pray more. God's been with me a lot lately. I know things will change. They always do. When I think things couldn't possibly get worse- they do. Eventhough sometimes I feel like God has left me and has turned his back on me, I really know He has a better life for me and Lynaiah than this and that's why all this is happening.. to get us out of hell!
current mood:  hopeful
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_takemenow_