Jezebelle In Hell

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 00:55:53 GMT

NEW LJ ACCOUNT!

* on_the_bullet *

Add me, comment me. Its friends only.

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 05:26:26 GMT

So as of today, Rayne and I are offical. That girl is fucking beautiful.

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 01:21:33 GMT

So today I realized I am a pompus bitch. I come off to others as stuck up, prissy, and I think I have the whole "holier than thou" attitude. Am I the only one that sees this?

I want to kiss you, so bad... but, know it is innappropriate. But, at least we're getting pictures done together on Friday... and you said I can tell everyone its my girlfriend ;) haha You're amazing...

For her, and her.

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 14:45:25 GMT

You have no idea how much it hurts to see
your name next to mine
I know its her choice, but if it was mine, there would
be only one name
She's leading us on, both of us. Getting our hopes
up. Making us happier than ever.
I just wish you knew how much that girl
means to me.
You're older, lived more of a life. Seen more
people. Please understand.
Yeah, I've been around the block a couple of times, and
I've had my heart broken.
I share everything with her. She knows the depest
depths of me.
Dont you understand. Similiarities is what
brought us together.
Age is only a number yes, but she has helped
me in everything, helped me mature.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're the one for me right now,
maybe not forever, but theres a
reason we came together on
that amazing August day.
I feared I'd never get to kiss you, but
that night in December when it finally
happened- glory, is what I felt
I now fear that because of what happened,
I'll never get a chance to fix things
between us.
I want to apologize for my impulsiveness,
my undying willingness to be with you
again, my immaturity at times.
I want you to know you've made
me feel alive, made me happy, and
you've been there for me in times of
great sadness.
I hope you'll still be willing to be around
me when I can come around, eventually.

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:26:23 GMT

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others
You appear gentle and soft, and you act rather reserved with others until you know them well and feel it is safe to be open with them. You have a strong need for emotional security and a sense of belonging, and are deeply attached to the past: your heritage, roots, family, cherished friends, familiar places, etc. Making radical changes or moves away from what is known and safe can be very painful and difficult for you. You tend to cling and hold on to people, memories, possessions of personal or sentimental significance. Having a home, a safe haven, is very important to you. Find out more with your full-length reading...

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit. Find out more with your full-length reading...

Dont Get My Hopes Up... I'll spit on you

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 15:14:25 GMT

God damn you. I am so happy when I am with you, but you totally blow it. You tell me we're gonna do something, but "something comes up." Fuck that shit, man. I want to be happy with you, and I really am, but sometimes it comes and goes. Tonight was a great example. I want to keep what we have, but all of this is confusing. This is the 4th time you've cancelled. I like plans, and I like going by those plans. Dont fuck it up, please. I like you, I like spending time with you, and you're the one person I think of when I go throughout my day. You're amazing, but some of the things you do aren't amazing. I just wish we could make plans and then go with the plans, not cancel, not change, not nothing- keep the plans!

And I can't stay around if you keep moving closer and then pulling away. I know we're not dating, I know you're not ready... but some of the things you do/say/etc make me so happy, but then you pull away. I dont know what the hell is going on. I know you're not ready, and I'm not gonna force you to do anything you're not ready to do. Just let me know if I've gone to far, or you feel like I'm about to go too far. I want to communicate. Communication is great!!!

I really like you. I really do. I just want to know if you like me. I dont tell you about Betty, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell me about Nicole. Itd be good. Its called respect. It just makes me feel like you've lost any and all intrest in me.

Why do you like me in the first place? I feel like I am a crazy bitch and a loser.

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:07:43 GMT

If ANYONE tries to make me laugh today or smile, youll get a fist in the face.

Why the fuck did I waste my time on you? Thats all I want to know?

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:24:58 GMT

Its so me

Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy.

You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself.

Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in.

People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal.

You are most compatible with: A and AB

Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 22:53:22 GMT

I find waiting around for you extremely uncomfortable. I am in your house god damn it...

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 20:51:19 GMT

I now believe the whole "Beer before liquor, never sicker"

I am so sick right now.

Whoop Whoop

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 17:03:04 GMT

QUIZZES

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges

If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story

You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses

A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 14% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

Your Eyes Should Be Hazel

Your eyes reflect: Intellect and sensuality

What's hidden behind your eyes: Subtle manipulation

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.

You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.

People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.

But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are 90% Boyish and 10% Girlish

You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.

You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.

Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.

You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.

You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.

You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.

You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.

While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.

You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.

You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.

You are also giving and kind - a great friend.

You are easy going and trusting.

However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Your Heart Is Purple

For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection.

If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength.

Your flirting style: Sincere

Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house

Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive

What you bring to relationships: Understanding

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:

You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.

At Your Lowest:

You require a lot of attention and praise.

In Love:

You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.

How You're Attractive:

You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.

Your Eternal Question:

"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 15:11:15 GMT

I totally fucked up last night, and now I want to cry. Livejournal is now public. Fuck this whole friends only. Its not like most of yall even know me, or comment, so why not get complete and total strangers comment. Or maybe I should get rid of this shit.

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 01:23:35 GMT

Urghle. Myspace is being Myfucktard. DIE bitch, DIE.

I had a great day today. I got pissed off for some reason earlier in the day, then Priscilla and I went to the store during lunch, then after school I have never been happier.

Becca and I made a bet. She thinks the current pack of cigarettes I have now wont last me till Friday, but I think they will. I dont know what the prize is if one of us wins the bet. Ha.

I want to go write a song now. Toodles.

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:38:07 GMT

Help me get out right now.

Help me find of ways to get kicked out. Not just grounded for ever so my life at home will be fucking hell. Help me find a way to get kicked the fuck out. I want out. I want away. They're bringing me down, making me feel like shit... while doing so, leaving their marks on my fucking arms.

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:19:04 GMT

For the past two nights I have been staying on the telephone with Becca until 1:35am... it is awesome. I finally have someone who doesn't mind listening to me ramble, and laughs at the silly stuff I say. I am so extremely tired, but I am so happy. I have talked to her on the phone for a total of like 10 hours the past 3 nights. Haha. Awesomeness. Hearing her laugh, hearing her voice.

I went to see her at work yesterday. And she got a new Skynrd hat, very upsetting. But...... she might be going into the military. I can't handle that. .

The world is ticking me off right now.

I made a 90 on my Macbeth recitation, UNTIL Johnnie Cunningham mentioned that I didn't say "The queen my lord is dead." So now I have a 72. And then I went and told her I was absent the day she told us we were supposed to add that line to the 13 lines, and all she said was, "O well...". I am extremely pissed. I lose 28 points cause dumb fuck has to mention that I missed that one line... she hadn't even noticed. He now wonders why I am pissed off at him and wont talk to him in the hall ways.

But, because of that one person, all of that anger is cancelled out.

Why am I just now applying myself in school, and proving that I can do this stuff? It took me 30 minutes to memorize that recitation, and I am answering questions and explaining stuff. I wish I had started applying myself in 9th grade... god damn it.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 21:05:07 GMT

Yay. Guess who is stretching their ear lobes? I went straight from 20g to 16g. I didn't bleed at all. I'm going to 12g next. Mere is bringing me her old ones, since she's at 4g now. I'm so happy.

I got some Christmas shopping done today. I got my mom these 2 glass figurines. My dad this calendar (I always get him calendars... its like a tradition). I got my sister 30 incense sticks and this kick ass incense holder. And I got Mere some stuff. I totally forgot what I got her, heh.

I also got me some stuff too. My christmas gifts to me! Yay. I got 3 cds (Anberlin, Myspace Record Volume 1, and The Forecast). I also got some Hemp lotion, sunglasses, the earrings, and I think thats it.

I'm very forgetful today. Roboat tripping= no fun. I'm exhausted.

I've had a very depressing weekend. I dont know why though. Last week till Sunday was a very depressing time. I feel better today though. But, I have wanted to cry so bad. I have just wanted to disappear into some deep black hole and never come back. I am so disappointed in myself.
I allowed myself to fall for someone who isn't falling for me. I wanted so bad for something to be there. But, nothing at all is there. Its empty. I give up. I give up on everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
I'm being totally ignored too.

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 21:51:21 GMT

I just went and saw Corpse Bride at the dollar theater with Candice. It was soooo good.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 17:58:35 GMT

13 Random things you like:
-1-eyeliner
-2-blow dryer
-3-my car
-4-Bright Eyes
-5-shows
-6-fingernail polish
-7-my comfy comfy bed
-8-love
-9-girls
-10-polo shirts
-11-hair brush
-12-my friends
-13-dancing

12 Movies:
-1-What Dreams May Come
-2-From Hell
-3-Darkness Falls
-4-Edward Scissor Hands
-5-Harry Potter (all)
-6-Whats Eating Gilbert Grape?
-7-White Chicks
-8-Lord of the Rings trilogy
-9-Exorcism Of Emily Rose
-10-Chicago
-11-Foxfire
-12-The Gladiator

11 Good Bands/Artists:
-1-Bright Eyes
-2-Copeland
-3-Chasing Victory
-4-Mae
-5-mewithoutYOU
-6-Blood Brothers
-7-The Postal Service
-8-Death Cab For Cutie
-9-Underoath
-10-The Arcade Fire
-11-Elliot Smith

10 Things about you physically:
-1-i have a prosthetic leg
-2-i have dark brown hair
-3-i am a tad overweight
-4-my boobs are a cup size difference
-5-I have black people lips
-6-muscular thighs
-7-i have emo hair
-8-my eyes change colors every day
-9-arched eyebrows
-10-pouty lips

9 Good Friends:
-1-Brittanie Freeman
-2-Meredith Williams
-3-Claire Peters
-4-Danielle Hamm
-5-Jessie Pearce
-6-John Theron Roberts
-7-Kash Trivedi
-8-Amanda Hart
-9-Daniel Furtick

8 Favorite Foods/Drinks:
-1-caffeine free diet pepsi
-2-vegan mac and cheese
-3-veggie egg rolls
-4-shirley temple
-5-lettuce
-6-gum
-7-oranges
-8-tofu and tomatoes

7 Things you wear daily:
-1-bra
-2-undies
-3-shirt
-4-jeans
-5-van
-6-eyeliner
-7-chap stick

6 Things that annoy you:
-1-liars
-2-homophobes
-3-authority
-4-being lied to
-5-improper grammar
-6-loud people

5 Things you touch every day:
-1-my hair
-2-my hands
-3-the toilet flusher
-4-my car keys
-5-my pillow

4 Shows you watch:
-1-Real World
-2-Music Choice Channel 913
-3-Law and Order: SVU
-4-X Files

3 Celebrities that you like:
-1-David Duchovny
-2-Christina Ricci
-3-Johnny Depp

2 of your favorite colors:
-1-pink
-2-white

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
I know this person. You dont. So be it.

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 20:03:06 GMT

Well, right now Lily is so fucked pu.

Wowzers. I ll talk to ygan and Saraal laterz!

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 16:23:51 GMT

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How'How Are You In Love?

Your World View

You strongly reject traditional values.

Above everything else, you value honesty.

For you, morality and truth are one and the same.

You hate to be thought of as weak or insecure.

You abhor hypocrisy and have troubles with authority.

You are impulsive and somewhat unpredictable.

What Is Your World View?

Slacker Kid

High school was a place you showed up occasionally, but you didn't really leave a mark.

You hated rules, authority, and structure. In fact, you still do.

Who Were You In High School?

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional.

You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You're a Depressed Drunk

You know that distinct taste of tears and vodka real well.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Your Birthdate: August 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.

You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.

Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.

You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.

Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone

Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge

Your power color: Cobalt blue

Your power symbol: Dove

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Seduction Style: Sex Pot

Tradionally known as a "siren", "rake", or "femme fatale." You exude sensuality.

And while your sexiness is part of what makes you an incredible seducer...

Your ability to make others feel sexy is what really makes your seduction skills shine.

Most people don't feel attractive or desired enough - a need which you tap into.

You have the ultimate sex appeal, and getting attention from you is a total self esteem boost.

Your confidence is contagious, and you help others unleash their own sexuality.

Your sex pot seduction skills are so intoxicating that you can get away with... well, almost murder.

Lovers feel like your sensuality is in your blood, so it's only natural if you flirt a little.

And if you stray, that might be okay as well - as long as you make your lover still feel hot.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 17 ure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk.

You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

You Are an Indie Rocker!

You are in it for the love of the music...

And you couldn't care less about being signed by a big label.

You're all about loving and supporting music - not commercial success.

You may not have the fame and glory, but you have complete control of your career.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.

Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.

You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.

You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.

You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are Likely A Forth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry.

At work and school, you do best when your analyzing.

When you love someone, you tend to be very giving.

In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out.

Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry.

You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

The Birth Order Predictor
(wow. i am the 4th born in my family!!!)

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 22:14:29 GMT

I think way too much. way too much.
3 years ago. You freaking asshole. I'm glad I'm stronger than you. Strong enough to get over it.

Last night I went to see Skeleton Key, again. I saw my dear bud, Kat. Glad to see that she's doing swell. The movie still scared the crap outa me in the same part it did the first time I saw it.

How DARE China Garden make that friggen buffet $10 a person. Now I have no money. And I didn't even eat a plate of food. Maybe half a plate.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 01:02:40 GMT

i broke up with amanda today.

finally free. finally out of the stress. finally i can be who i want to be.

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 00:46:16 GMT

me, meredith, and mikhail hung out all day today. it was great. we drew graffiti on Shanna's house. and downtown. and we ate sushi.

we roamed around target for a while. took pictures in the park (i will post them as soon as i get them). and we ate breakfast at steak n shake.... thank god for free milkshakes (only because i work there).

in all, today was great.

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 04:32:20 GMT

I have a bug bite on my neck that looks like a hickey. My mom really did flip the fuck out. Then I made her touch it, so she would know it wasn't a hickey. Am I really stupid enough to get hickies?

No comment from the peanut gallery, aka Brittanie

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 20:01:00 GMT

Oh god, please save me from what is about to happen. Dont let them find out it was me who did it. Oh god, save me... please. I know what i did was wrong, and i know that i wont do it again. Please, let what my dad told me just be a threat.

And no, I didn't kill anybody.