you would kill for this, just a little bit, you would

_straightedge_ @ 2007-10-30T17:56:00

2007-10-30T21:59:18Z

=|
so we've gone from amazing better than perfect fiances
to...

best friends with benefits who love each other and who are in love with each other and who want to be together and who are going to get married.

???

im so confused.
but i still love this boy so damn much.
theres really nothing i can do about it.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-12-06T08:52:00

2006-12-06T08:52:51Z

why do i always leave everything til the last minute?!?!
i have a paper due in like...9 hours.
and i havent even started.
and its 10% of my grade.
but i have no idea how to do it.
and so i just don't think i will.

and im really really really pissed at this guy.
he kissed me (a while ago; this isn't anything recent)
knowing not only that i had a boyfriend
but that he had a girl that was pregnant
WITH HIS KID!!!

what the heck.

anyways
all niters by myself suck.
i reallyreallyreally don't know how to do this paper.
and bulletins are down on myspace :[
boo hoo.

ok. back to paper writing!!
oh yeah
and i love dustin wayne morison more then anything else in the world.
always and forever.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-11-14T23:36:00

2006-11-14T23:36:10Z

i love dustin wayne morison.
now and forever.
♥

_straightedge_ @ 2006-10-12T02:41:00

2006-10-12T02:48:25Z

it scares (worries?) me when adults tell me that im too young to be in love or to know what love is...
because if what im feeling isn't love, then im scared to be in love.

i can't imagine my life without dustin, he is EVERYTHING to me.
he is the only thing i ever think about.
i hate being away from him.
he's the only person who matters to me.
i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
i would die for him.
he completes me.
he makes me feel things that i've never felt before.
i care more about him and what happens to him then i care about me.

he's supposed to be moving to south carolina in may and im either moving there with him or he'll stay down here with me and be away from his family.
no matter what, we're going to be together because i CAN'T be without him.
i need him like i need food and water.

i've told guys ive loved them before, and i thought i did.
but what i felt for them is NOTHING compared to how i feel about dustin.
i have never felt like this before and i never want this feeling to stop!
i want to be with him for forever.

he is the most amazing and wonderful guy i have ever met and i feel so so so so lucky that he wants to be with me.

and if this isn't love. i don't know what is.

sorry for that rant. im so happy right now :]

_straightedge_ @ 2006-08-20T00:22:00

2006-08-20T04:22:24Z

i

hate

boys

the end.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-08-14T22:57:00

2006-08-15T03:00:26Z

why am i so messed up
i dont even know
i hate myself right now
i believed that it would all be ok.
but its not
i really thought he cared about me like he says he does
but hes to busy with his girlfriend to give a shit.
hes probably laughing with all his friends about the stuff i say to him becaue i am crazy about him. and he tells me hes crazy about me too
but then theres this little thing called a girlfriend
i REFUSE to be the "other woman"
and i have half a mind to go tell this chick all the stuff he's been saying to me
but i wont
because i really do care about him.
i am so upset right now because i havent gotten a single text
or myspace message
or phone call from him since like 7:30
and, of course it was sweet
but whatever

im such an idiot for trusting him.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-06-21T23:37:00

2006-06-22T03:41:46Z

rewind a year.

getting ready for//already in europe.

making so many new friends.

falling in love.

breaking hearts.

falling in love with the countries.

never wanting to leave.

making so so so many mistakes.

having one big regret.

getting hurt while hurting others.

leaving behind everyone.

getting hurt again.

fast forward back to today.

i would do it all again.

so many regrets from this past year:
will
dave s.
mike m.
mike g.
and thats just the beginning.
im glad im not the person i was last year

_straightedge_ @ 2006-05-24T23:58:00

2006-05-25T03:58:50Z

i hate myspace.

the end.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-04-22T16:15:00

2006-04-22T20:24:24Z

wow, havent been here in awhile.

i miss the old days.
back when i actually had more then one friend.

but i wouldn't be my friend if i was someone else.

that upsets me.

i wish i was happy all the time again.

i miss those days.

im not saying im unhappy with the way my life is

i have an amazing boyfriend,
a really fun//funny best friend who i hang out with all the time,
a great job,
an amazing school...

but i feel like somethings missing...

im not as happy as i used to be.
i don't know why.

i cant wait to get high school over with
and get the FUCK OUT OF THE BREAKROOM.

i just want to get out of here and start over.

it used to really hurt my feelings when megan would say that she just wanted to leave st. pete and start over but now i know EXACTLY how she feels. i want to go somewhere where people don't know me. they don't know who i used to be or the mistakes i've made. they just know the me that i am now. cause i've changed. i'm not the person i used to be. some days i miss that girl. but most of the time i don't. i'm just kind of rambling. im just SO tired of everything being the same, every day. im SO tired of it.
i made a five year plan the other day. i really hope it works out. its funny cause every chance i get, i'm outta this hell hole. i can't wait to go back to the lake. i hope to god i see garrett. and i just like it up there because all the boys want to party with me and call me a hot babe and have amazing accents. god im such a bitch. :( here i am, with this amazing boyfriend who means more to me then any other guy ever has, and i'm talking about other guys. i could just delete all this but i want it to be there as a reminder of the horrible person i am.

me and megan are writing a movie.
it'll be awesome.

i cant wait to move out.
just out of my house.
maybe then it'll all be better,
but i doubt it.

in conclusion...
i know its my fault my life is the way it is. most of the time i like it though.
i'm sorry to all those people that i have hurt by not keeping in touch with them.
im just horrible at that. i wish i could stay in touch with everyone who ever impacted my life.
all my old northside friends who hate me now, all my eurotrippers, everyone.

:( this is so depressing.
no wonder i never write.

_straightedge_ @ 2006-03-20T17:03:00

2006-03-20T22:04:05Z

does anyone know ANYWHERE that is hiring right now??!!??
please, im desperate!!!!

♥

_straightedge_ @ 2006-03-08T17:11:00

2006-03-08T22:14:40Z

dont read this if you dont give a shit

i am in SUCH a bad mood
i cant explain it

i know im not that good looking
but people dont have to talk about how ugly i am.
there are alot of people out there who are worse looking then me.
and it just hurts my feelings so much
that people i dont even know
feel like im the ugliest thing they've ever seen
and inform my boyfriend of this.

it just makes me sad.
and i miss dave.
i love him.
i know im only 17 but honestly, i dont know what i would do without him.

i cant wait to see him tonite.
even though i just spent the whole day with him.

so why....?
nevermind. i dont know if anyone will even read this so im not gonna waste my time typing all this shit that no one even cares about.

whatever

btw this is megan-less DAY 1 :(
it hurts my heart

_straightedge_ @ 2006-02-27T00:05:00

2006-02-27T05:05:34Z

i just wanted to tell everyone.

i got my nose pierced.

pics to come later. that is all.

♥

_straightedge_ @ 2006-01-20T18:42:00

2006-01-21T02:45:40Z

wow; i havent updated in forever. not really much to say. i'm back with dave martin. he's amazing. and i can really see this lasting. me and megan are still bffs! and we're going to california next summer. i cannot wait. school is gonna be over in like three semesters FOREVER. i'm so excited. still working at good ole chickfila. i miss my northside friends. me and dave went into fye today and i just thought about matt and james and how many times we went in there together. and then i made him go to forever21 with me to look for kym. but she wasn't there. and that made me pretty sad. i really do miss you guys.

love to all!

_straightedge_ @ 2006-01-01T22:24:00

2006-01-02T04:31:14Z

In The Year 2005:

[P E O P L E]
1. Best friends? megannnnn
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? uhmmmm ? none of them were the best
3. Lost any friends? yeah :(
5. Met a new good friend? yeah :)

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country? yes!!!!
2. Moved? negative
3. New school? nope
4. How many times on an airplane? like 15
5. Road trips? a couple

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed? definately
2. New look? dyed my hair a couple times
3. Any new addictions? not really
4. Biggest conflict this year? being so damn emotional
5. Most depressed time this year? beginning of 2005

[S E A S O N S]
1. Favorite Season? sunnerrrr
2. Least favorite season? winter
4. Any snow this year? in florida, yeah rite!

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]
Snuck out- not really
Met a person who will change your life- a few of them
Fell in love - yeah, i think so
Kept your resolution- nope
Got arrested- surpisingly not
Had a first something- this was a year of firsts
Drank A lcohol- yes ma'am
Smoked weed/drugs- yeah a couple times
Did anything illegal- yeah a couple times lol
Kissed a girrl/boy- haha yup!! many times :*
Had a crush on someone- quite a few
Liked someone who didn't like you- at first, but then he liked me back
Lost a family member- nope but i lost a friend </3 Got bad grades- C in math Got suspended- nope Moved states- nope Got a myspace- yeahh Learned an instrument- ew no Started a band- nope Spent over 1 million dollars- wish i had a million to spend Went streaking- yeah man! Kept a secret- yuppp Done something you totally regretted- i dont regret anything ever. the things i do and the mistakes i make, make me the person i am today Changed your view on things- yeah Overall did you like this year? - it twas my best year so far!

_straightedge_ @ 2005-12-18T18:11:00

2005-12-18T23:12:39Z

i have no life.
for the next week, chick-fil-a is my life.
i will be there, EVERYDAY, from 8am-2pm then 4pm-close.
yes thats right, everyday.

in other news...
i really miss james and kym.
i saw them both the other day and it just made me realize just how much i miss them both.
((i love you two!))

♥

1. Smoked. - 99%
2. Drank alcohol.-98%
3. Cried when someone died. - 97%
4. Been drunk.96%
5. Had sex.
6. Been to a concert. - 95%
7. Jacked or Jilled someone off/gotten Jill or Jacked off. - 94%
8. Given head/gotten head.- 93%
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed. - 92%
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody. - 91%
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up. - 90%
12. Laughed hard something came out of your nose. - 89%
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before. - 88%
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school. - 87%
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store. - 86%
18. Went streaking. -
19. Given a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room. - 85%
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger. - 84%
24. Hugged a stranger. - 83%
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car. - 82%
27. Gotten an xray.
28. Gotten hit by a car.
29. Had a party.- 81%
30. Done drugs. - 80%
31. Played strip poker.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Ran away from home.- 79%
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
40. Been in love.
41. Frenched kissed. - 78%
42. Laughed so hard you cried. - 77%
43. Cried yourself to sleep. - 76%
44. Laughed yourself to sleep. - 75%
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day. - 74%
48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours. - 73%
49. Been on line for 9 consecutive hours. - 72%
50. Watched an animal die.
51. Watched a person die.
52. Had sex somewhere with at least one other person present.
53. Pranked somebody. - 71%
54. Put somebody in the hospital. - 70%
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out. - 69%
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.-68%
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed goth.
59. Dressed preppy. - 67%
60. Been to a motocross race.
61. Avoided somebody. - 66%
62. Been stalked. - 65%
63. Stalked someone. - 64%
64. Met a celebrity. - 63%
65. Played an instrument. - 62%
66. Ridden a horse. - 61%
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody. - 60%
70. Been to a wild party.
71. Got caught stealing something.
72. Kicked a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Been involved in an affair.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat. - 59%
78. Been to another country. - 58%
79. Set your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.-57%
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex. - 56%
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.-55%
85. Sat on your ass all day. - 54%
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself in one sitting. - 53%
87. Had a job. - 52%
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore. - 51%
90. Danced like a whore. - 50%
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.-49%
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes. - 48%
94. Been told you have beautiful hair. - 47%
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain. - 46%
97. Been rejected. - 45%
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying. - 44%
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.- 43%

Ahh I'm bored.

_straightedge_ @ 2005-11-29T14:04:00

2005-11-29T19:05:12Z

d e a r y o u,
"and he wouldn't understand, so hard to see myself without him. i felt a piece of my heart break, but when you're standing at a crossroad, there's a choice you gotta make. i guess it's gonna have to hurt, i guess i'm gonna have to cry and let go of some of the things i've loved to get to the other side. i guess it's gonna bring me down, like falling when you try to fly. it's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life.. starts with goodbye."
~~youknowwhoyouare~~: a part of me wants to call you in complete hysterics; but i can't. not like i don't want to, believe me, i do. it's the fact that i know you couldn't care less if i was hurting or not that keeps me from doing it. if this is your idea of saving yourself from love, then congrats. you've rescued yourself from someone actually caring for you. is it me caring about you, or you letting yourself care about me, that stops you? i fucking miss you. isn't that enough? you know what i said was true. i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it. at the end of the day, you know i'll be sitting here and waiting to hear from you again, wondering when that day will finally come when you'll realize what you're pushing away. i hope you read this and i hope you wonder if it's about you. it's killing me that i'm not good enough for you.

x o x o x,
me.

_straightedge_ @ 2005-11-25T20:34:00

2005-11-26T01:35:19Z

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!
:D
sunday hurry up and get here!!!!
♥

_straightedge_ @ 2005-11-07T17:16:00

2005-11-07T22:18:20Z

i'm sorry
i keep making mistakes, bad decisions
&& i keep pushing people away

all i can say is i'm sorry
stick with me
i'll get better.
it wont be like this forever
i promise...
@ least i hope not.

but...this is me for now.
i know some of the things im doing
are wrong, stupid, just bad
i know that, so why am i doing it?
i cant even tell you, i dont know.
its just been really hard this past week.
and i guess this is my way of dealing with it.
or something.

but i just want you to always remember
i love you.

_straightedge_ @ 2005-11-01T18:50:00

2005-11-01T23:51:27Z

i dont know what to do.
ive never felt like this before.
my heart hurts. literally.
i couldnt even go to work today.
thats where i met him.
and where we hung out the most.

i talked to frank and ben.
and i feel better.
they told me some stuff that helped.
but its still so god damn hard.

i miss him.
so much.
its all i think about.

tomorrow is gonna be the hardest day of my life.

i never tried to make the best of my time when i thought i had plenty of it

2005-10-31T18:10:48Z

:(

he was the NICEST GUY i have ever met.
he made me feel so special.
and now hes gone.
just like that. forever.
i'm never gonna see him again.
never gonna quote dane cook with him.
never gonna get to tell him how amazing he was.
never gonna talk about being bartenders together.
never gonna get text messages from him again.
never gonna spend time with him again.

NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN.

it hasnt clicked yet.
i keep looking at my phone.
waiting for that text message
"hey beautiful, whats up?"
but its never gonna come.

he treated me so much better then any other guy i've ever known.
he was amazing, he always listened to me.
i wish that i had treated him half as good as he treated me.

he was a big part of my life for awhile.
he had such an impact on me.
and now hes just gone//
FOREVER.

WHY??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

♥ R.I.P. MIKE GREEN ♥
i'm gonna miss you. so much.

aw how cute.

2005-10-29T16:13:14Z

Dear Girls (from us guys),

Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.

It makes us feel SO secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of.

Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them.

When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous.

You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust.

On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

DONT flirt with guys when we're not around.

We'll find out. Trust us.
We have eyes everywhere.
And when we find out, we're pissed.

Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with YOU.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hot Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.

Girls, we cannot stress this enough:
IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISCRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ...

....and actually mean it.
THE END.

i had a dream about kyle turner last nite
wth//~~im thinking about calling him.~~
but i dont know.
i think i had my chance there.
but i dont really want him in my life.
right? right?
RIGHT.
and i dont want dbagdave in it either.
so why do i find myself
crying at johnny rockets when i talk about him
and seeing him with another girl?
I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
I DONT CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
...bullshit.
i do, i just cant help it.
he treated me like SHIT.
yet i still care about him so much.
im trying NOT to talk about him as much
but its so hard.
he was a HUGE part of my life for awhile.
i mean, i liked him from pretty much the first day i met him.
i knew he was something special.
i remember coming to school after my first day at work
and telling all my friends
"omg there is this CUTE guy at work with the same birthday as me. i have SUCH a huge crush on him."
and that was like 9 months ago.
i've cared about him that long.
no wonder this is so hard.
it sucks that he wasnt the person i thought he was.
and that he was just using me the whole time.
i just gotta keep telling myself about those times.
and NOT thinking about the good times.
like when we would go to the beach and sit there and watch the sunset
and when hed sneak over to my house.
...there i go again.
this must stop.

im sorry, dont read this.
this is just me rambling because i dont know why actually.

i just feel so alone sometimes.
but i felt that way the last few weeks with dave too.
i keep thinking that everything would be ok if i had him back.
and i could have him back if i wanted to.
i think thats what kills.
but id have to do something i dont want to do in order to have him back.
and HES NOT WORTH IT.
but to me he is.

i just have to
NOT talk to him
NOT talk about him
NOT think about him

wish me luck with that.
=[

_straightedge_ @ 2005-10-28T17:51:00

2005-10-28T21:48:18Z

megan cut my hair
its super sexy
i love it
and her
and her kitty.

_straightedge_ @ 2005-10-21T14:59:00

2005-10-21T19:03:18Z

i am so excited.
tomorrow nite
me and brittney are going to
haloscream!!!!!!
i am sooo excited.
the only way i could possibly be more excited
is if more people were going.
and i work tomorrow morning
so i get to see kyle.
wanter him to go but he cant due to work.
he really wanted to tho =)

then sunday me and megannnn
are gonna go to the beach bongo thing.
uber excited about that as well.
and then NEXT weekend, kickaaassssss as well
friday night is blood brothers and coheed with megan!!
and then saturday is work with KYLE <3
and then sunday is halloween horror nights with kara and megan
and then monday is halloween! with megan!
woot.
oh im so excited about life!

boo for school during the week
and this stupid hurricane.
next week i have a math test, us history test, ANDDDD a speech midterm.
ugh ugh ugh.
oh well.

oh im so excited!!!!!
♥

_straightedge_ @ 2005-10-19T15:35:00

2005-10-19T19:36:14Z

i think its pretty lame
when youre only using
someone for sex...

...and you're NOT EVEN GETTING ANY.

but that might just be me

=D

**edit**
FFUUCCKK
that is SO EXACTLY
what i want.
i knew i didnt like that girl
ughhhhhh
:|

_straightedge_ @ 2005-10-17T20:32:00

2005-10-18T00:48:03Z

I AM:: kasara cassie lee schroeder

I WANT:: to fall hopelessly and completely in love

I HAVE:: amazing friends.

I WISH:: kyle could go to howl o scream with me.

I HATE:: liars.

I MISS:: the happy times in relationships

I FEAR:: sharks, rejection, being hurt

I HEAR:: the spill canvas

I SEARCH:: for my soul mate

I WONDER:: if i'll ever be truly happy

I REGRET:: nothing!

I LOVE:: text messages

I ACHE:: in my heart

I ALWAYS:: think too much

I DANCE:: all the time

I SING:: constantly

I WRITE:: for comp class

I WIN:: clue

I LOSE:: at everything else

I CONFUSE:: myself

I NEED:: to be loved.

YES OR NO
You keep a diary:: sorta
You have a secret journal:: not really
You set your watch a few minutes ahead:: nope
You bite your fingernails:: naw
You believe in love:: indeed i do

::::::::::WHO IS::::::::::
The weirdest person you know:: hmmmmm....kara tucker

The Loudest Person you Know:: megan

The Sexiest Person you Know:: kyleeeee

The Person that Knows the Most About You: megan

Most Boring Teacher:: mrs. hamilton

:::::::::DO YOU::::::::
Take a shower everyday.:: yeah
Have a(any) crush(es):: =D yup
Think you know you've been in love:: its a possibility
Want to get married:: yup. startling revelation i had today
Have any tattoos/where?:: nope
Piercings/where?:: ears, belly button. hopefully nose soon
Get motion sickness:: not really
Think you're a health freak:: nopeeeee
Get along with your parents:: depends on if i snuck my bf into the house when they werent there... =)

RANDOM
NATURAL HAIR COLOR:: brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR:: dark brown with red
EYE COLOR:: brown
PARENTS:: ric and judy
SIBLINGS:: 2, brother and sister
LIVE WITH:: mom dad brother sister

FAVORITE
NUMBER:: 23 or 31
COLOR: pink
DAY:: feburary 23
MONTH:: june

Name- cassie
Age- 16
Location- st.pete