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Saturday, December 26th, 2009
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10:54 am
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Christmas was actually going just fine until my uncle grabbed my ass and now I just feel kind of gross.
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| Sunday, December 20th, 2009
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8:54 pm
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I got an A in Latin and in Bio, and even though I don't have my other grades I am guessing they are either As or "It's okay, at least you tried"s
Oh and I cry all the time now, it is embarrassing and I am thinking about becoming someone who lies on the couch all day and watches soaps and weeps; I am pretty close already
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| Saturday, December 12th, 2009
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12:18 am
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dear livejournal,
I am DRUNKKKK
this happens if you get together with church ladies and drink a lot of white white wiii-iii-iiiine
also I won a pie plate so now I can bake THE SHIT out of some pies
also I guess I can never show my face again at church
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| Saturday, November 28th, 2009
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4:33 pm
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3:39 pm
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| Wednesday, November 25th, 2009
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9:58 pm
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My entire body hurts from cooking all day, but at least now we will have pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce and stuffing and Toll House cookie pie and turkey and sweet potatoes and squash and it all runs together after a while.
In other words, there is no room in our refrigerator and so I am kind of mad that my brother ordered more Chinese food than he could eat; we need the fridge space!
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| Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
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3:17 pm - Also for some reason I think constantly about sandwiches
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Lauren asked me, "What do you need to do to be happy?" and the answer was, "Be someone else."
I keep waking up in the middle of the night panicking about Thanksgiving. How am I going to arrange all of the foods so that they arrive on the table warm? I was okay about this before I started watching too many Food Network specials, where people call in shouting, "The turkey was dry and now everyone is DEAD!" My favorite was the man who called in to say his cat ate the turkey. I do not think that is a cooking problem, sir.
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| Sunday, November 15th, 2009
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2:55 pm
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Looking at past Project Runway final collections makes me feel kind of nauseous whenever I watch this season.
Also, I told my mom that if Christopher won I would never watch Project Runway again (how can he be so clueless about the FUG of his clothes???)- but he teamed up with Carol Hannah for her 13th look, and her final collection is definitely the best. I want her to win, but if she wins it is partially a Christopher win as well!
I just hate him so much aaaagh, even Nicholas had more talent than he does and Nicholas could only make white dresses covered in sparkles, also there was already a White Witch so your costume idea was not original, dude have you never heard of this famous book, I think they made in into a movie, about this land called Nurnia- no, Narnia- and IT'S CALLED THE LION THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE EVERY CHILD HAS READ IT
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| Saturday, November 14th, 2009
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10:54 pm
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I hate November because I type a hundred times more than I usually do due to NaNo, and now my pinky (the one where the tendon is only partially attached, WEIRD, what if it detaches oh God oh God) hurts.
I like to talk about my tendon issues because it is the only time I ever had a Medical Problem, and my sole goal in life is to get to a point where I can complain about being sick all the time.
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| Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
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9:37 pm
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I have a very small bruise on my head. It's raised and roundish, just a little smaller than a pea.
I have no memory of getting this bruise, I discovered it a few nights ago when I was scrubbing my hair in the shower. It seemed to disappear the next day, and now it's back, and more defined. I desperately want to ask someone to look at the top of my head and describe it to me, but I don't know anyone well enough to feel comfortable asking them that.
Until I hear otherwise, I'm just going to assume it's cancer. Really I just assume every ailment is cancer, because it is the one disease that doesn't run in our family, and I am just waiting for it to manifest in me so that I can collect all the hereditary diseases. Degenerative hip disease, heart disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, Alzheimer's, addiction, depression, bring it on.
Admittedly that previous sentence would look a lot better if it were more concise, but we like to pass all of our horrible problems on to the next generation in my family.
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| Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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11:16 am
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Last night in lab, I couldn't think up any words I needed to. A consensus was taken, and it was agreed upon that lab is equivalent to being high. Basically, when I spend ten minutes staring at a computer screen saying, "I can't remember what it's called. This time, I'm going to think until I remember it!" I am usually on drugs.
I should also stop reading large encyclopedias on food and cooking techniques before I go to bed. When I dreamt about eggs on Tuesday, that was all right, but last night I dreamt about meat, which was slightly weirder.
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| Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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5:40 pm
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I couldn't purge and got all panicky, so must be Tuesday.
What is wrong with trick or treater's these days? They walked past my Aunt and Uncle's house, and didn't even stop! The front light was on, and they were ten feet from the front door, for serious. Then again, I kept staring out the window all "WHEN WILL CHILDREN COME" and was probably scaring them away. Or maybe they were put off by the fact that my pumpkin had no nose.
I do not know what it is, but ever since I severed my tendon carving a pumpkin, I cannot carve noses.
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| Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
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12:34 pm
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| Friday, October 9th, 2009
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6:15 pm
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Oh my God, it just occurred to me that Wednesdays are my Mondays, in that they are the worst day of the week! No wonder I am so screwed up! WEDNESDAYS ARE HUMP DAYS, THEY SHOULD BE A MAGICAL TIME OF THE WEEK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
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| Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
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6:13 pm
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I love when we have questions on blood type in my Bio lab, and the question is something like:
Anne has a blood type of A, and her husband, Joe, has a blood type of B. Their son, Joe, has a blood type of O. Is this their child?
Unfortunately, YES, you cannot trade him in! Oh, O, you so crazy and recessive.
Also, I hate lab days because it means I spend 13 hours at school, but I love them because I get to talk to people. Wow, that's super depressing. Did you know I have no friends, not even on the internets? It is because I have A+ blood, I bet!
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| Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
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6:31 pm
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So I spilled vomit on my floor for the third time in as many months. At least this time it was on a hardwood floor so I could clean it up more easily.
Purging-type bulimia is messy, kids- don't try it at home! Or at least do it in a toilet, but I can't do that because I live with other people and don't like to get toilet water on my face. Microbes, yo.
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| Sunday, September 20th, 2009
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4:54 pm
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My mom won a basket of Italian import foods, and she gave me the bottle of Chianti in it. She then told me not to drink it all in one sitting. I said, "Mom! that is the saddest thing I have ever heard."
Basically my mom thinks I am a lonely alcoholic. THAT'S ONLY HALF TRUE MOM
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| Sunday, September 13th, 2009
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7:36 pm
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The most disorienting sensation ever is waking up in the middle of the night because of heartburn! I always have no idea who I am, or how I got in this bed, or what this strange burning sensation is. It takes at least three minutes to go from this state to the state of "slightly elevating my head with a pillow" which leads to sleep.
The second most disorienting situation is when I have dreams about binging, and I wake up and start freaking out about how I have to purge, only to find it is four in the morning and I haven't eaten.
THANKS SUBCONSCIOUS
current mood: SHOWER TIME
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| Saturday, September 12th, 2009
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6:15 pm
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I bought The Other Boleyn Girl, because I am am gay for INACCURATE TUDOR FICTION (provided there are accurate sexxxytimes) and also because Anne Boleyn has a premature stillborn deformed baby in this book directly resulting from an incestuous affair with her brother. The midwife is all, "Yo, bringing this baby corpse to the king!" I imagine Henry VIII (offscreen, natch) is hella grossed out, but also probably tells that midwife that he is TOTALLY NOT IMPOTENT, he has impregnated like EIGHTY hotttt babes
okay okay three
current mood: TUDOR TIME
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| Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
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6:01 pm
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So I was sitting across from someone on the T today, and she looked JUST LIKE Catherine of Aragon except she had black hair, so I spent about five minutes staring at her hair to try and determine whether or not it was dyed and so I think she thought I was quite Rude.
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