Current mood:

cheerful

Brat?
Recently (in the last couple of days), I've been called a brat. Quite a lot.

I can't, really, in all honesty, deny the accuracy of this.

On the other hand, I'm not sure yet whether or not I'm comfortable with it.

I mean. Being a brat is fun; you can speak your mind; you can be cheeky; you can play pranks and joke around, and yet you'll always know pretty much exactly where the line is and whether or not it's a good idea to dip a toe over it, or slide your whole foot across, or occasionally, just occasionally, run as far and as fast as you can until it's far, far behind you. You get to act out and have fun and, y'know, being a brat, you'll probably enjoy the come-uppance as well (at least to a certain extent)!

Buuuut... a large part of my brain's objecting. About half, actually. Shouting things like "you're a grown-up! Act like one!" And I can act like one, when I need to. Just, at other times, I prefer letting my hair down (even if I have just had it cut). I mean, today I made cake and towards the end there were ridiculous amounts of icing sugar being used, and my hands were stuck right in it. Do you know how tempting it was to leave hand prints on my beloved? And then I decided I didn't want a spanking today, so I didn't :)

Another thing my brain's shouting is "brats are... bratty! You're better behaved than that!" which is, mostly, true. I like being a good girl. I like doing things properly and I like things being organised (when I was at university and cooking out of one pot, I even used to wash up before I sat down to eat) and I like having everything "just so". I don't like losing my temper, I don't like being rude... it goes on. In some ways I'm a real goody-two-shoes. Except... every now and again. When I'll just feel like cutting loose - that's happened a lot in recent weeks when spring's really sprung. It's been gorgeous and it just makes me want to skip and dance and laugh with delight, and somehow that makes me want to, for example, say things that're just a little bit cheeky, or leave the laundry just one more evening because there're more interesting things to do online... mostly it's just verbally dipping one toe over that metaphorical line in the sand, though ;)

I guess... I guess I'm talking myself into acknowledging that I can be a brat. I can be very good at denial/ignoring the obvious, is that a brat trait?

Why do I keep feeling that personally identifying with the label 'brat' is just going to enhance those tendencies in myself?