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and the rest is rust and stardust.
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| I just turned on the TV... |
[27 Feb 2009|11:42am] |
Boy with tear-streaked face: "...you killed her."
Macho father guy: "I didn't kill her, son. I destroyed her. She was a demon."
I turned the TV off. XD
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| Who's with me? |
[25 Feb 2009|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
] |
I'm thinking really seriously about starting a Food Not Bombs chapter in Roanoke.
If you don't know what that is, it's a movement wherein groups of people organise to procure, cook, and serve free vegan meals to whoever needs/wants them in some public place. :] It's centered around the idea that there is enough food out there for everyone, but all of it goes to waste because of the way we run our society. Instead of making sure people don't starve, the government concentrates on RAWR MILITARY and YAY CAPITALISM! [Not to mention all the crops raised and wasted just to fatten animals for meat...] Beacause it would be a waste of government money to feed people who are too worthless to feed themselves and Contribute to Society, right?? :D
Anyway, it's pretty damn cool. And it makes a lot of sense.
And I don't think Roanoke has enough free food, or really pays enough attention to the people who need it. Aside from the RAM house, there's really not much going on in that area.
We could probably get food from the Co-op, and maybe Kroger... and I'll bet the YWCA downtown would let us use their kitchen. Or the library. And if not, there are a million churches downtown that should like the idea...
And we could serve like once a week in Elmwood park. Or in front of the library in that little pavilion, maybe.
Anyway... I don't know. Would any of you be interested in the grassroots part of this venture? I haven't really planned much out because the thought only just came to me last night. XD But I feel the need to do something. The activist part of me that died after the Day of Silence in high school is tugging on my sleeve. XD
Anyone...?
http://www.foodnotbombs.net
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[19 Feb 2009|10:34am] |
Oh god, I made a big mistake.
I downloaded LOTR online... for a ten-day trial. I'd promised myself no more MMORPGs [as they steal my life and turn me into a hermit], but what harm could ten days do, right? XD
Last night I spent three hours and stayed up until 2 am, running from Ered Luin through the Shire to the Old Forest. Just running. I wasn't on a quest or anything. I just got really excited that the map was accurate. I visited Bag End [Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was there, of course], but the party tree was still decorated... XD 'Course I died as soon as I got into the Old Forest.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to subscribe to this game. Even if my mother's video card blows. It's nice to have dreams of Middle-Earth, instead of serving random people fried chicken.
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[28 Jan 2009|11:26am] |
Today's pearl of wisdom:
"Whatever the question, costumes are always a good answer."
--Olivia [the pig]
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[14 Oct 2008|05:52pm] |
Llewellyn [publishers of Silver Ravenwolf and Scott Cunningham, among others] is having a 50% off Halloween sale.
If you're into that kind of thing.
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[10 Sep 2008|10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
] |
There have been a lot of cats around me lately.
Guardians.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see them... then they vanish. Like faeries.
Solid black ones, tabbies...
I don't know why they're here, but it's nice to have them around. They make me feel protected. And it's nice to have some company. :]
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[27 May 2008|02:07am] |
Have dyed some of hair fuschia. XD
Pictures to follow when retrieve camera from Moony.
Have also dyed some of bathroom counter lovely red shade. Oops. =3
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[26 May 2008|07:14pm] |
It is so much fun when little kids ask me if I'm a boy or a girl.
Sucks when my parents are standing right there so I can't say "both" or "neither", though.
:[
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[25 May 2008|01:08am] |
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mood |
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excited |
] |
Things are better.
May be living in Portland for a while, however. Am okay with that.
Am going to ren faire tomorrow, yey! Am v. impressed with my ability to rummage up rather convincing Elizabethan boy garb without actually making anything other than the hat.
Was going to make trousers tonight, but am too lazy/unmotivated, so have stolen mum's ugly brown wool-ish trousers instead. Not bad; v. comfy.
Am stealing Moons's tunic and boots. Also have found brown leather belt and pouch in dresser, and some lovely things to hang about the belt for added effect.
Think shall be Edmund, or Edmonde... this character may or may not develop and eventually overtake Sayid as SCA persona... if only in hopes of one day becoming King Edmund, first transboy King in SCA history, who manages to reference the Chronicles of Narnia in the same go.
Just King, though. Peter's High King.
I know; it's confusing. :]
Could be King of An Tir one day, don't you think? ...Can one win the crown in rapier combat? o_O;
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[23 May 2008|10:49pm] |
Am v. scared.
Do not want to be homeless again.
Have nowhere to go...
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[19 May 2008|04:53pm] |
Ehh.
So. Am starting to think that my stomach wants me to die. Cannot keep anything down, aside from the occasional... bready carb-product. Which is not good, as now my insulin hates me as well.
Went to doctor about this situation, was advised to take antacid and charged $100. Sigh.
Would also like to inqure as to why am still five hundred million pounds if cannot consume calories. The world may never know.
Anywho. Am bored out of skull. Waifu-san is hiking in Oregon with random friends today... am a bit jealous of this. But is okay, as Laura has given me sixteen thousand films to watch, and is skipping school on Friday in favour of film marathon avec moi. [Am v. good at convincing people to be irresponsible, even my own twelfth-grade AP English teacher.] Also get to babysit her boys after marathon. Am excited. But cannot feed them anything as do not know CPR. >_>; ...Wait, am projecting negativity. Must repeat "everything will be fine" mantra.
Hope things will be better when get back to Oly. Am bit concerned at fact that waifu-san's gay boy is apparently living with us for undetermined amount of time, but trust that all will be well. Do kind of regret not having own house for once, though. Was looking forward to making breakfast nekkid. Ah well.
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[18 May 2008|11:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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eisley | plenty of paper |
] |
Things I've learnt so far today:
1. Some things which you think are going to last forever just... don't. And that's okay, really. :]
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[18 May 2008|01:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
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up the bracket | libertines |
] |
Bwar.
Have made Elizabethan flat cap for ren faire next weekend. Still need to figure out trouser-situation. :\
Am wearing some ridiculous amalgamation of clothing that results in my looking like a Victorian chimney sweep who got confused in Hot Topic whilst leafing through a Guys' Nylon magazine. Ehhh. Mayhap some nice combat boots would pull it all together. XD
[Edit: I am not wearing that to the ren faire [far be it from me to go out-of-period at faire]. I was wearing that last night. XD]
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[17 May 2008|11:49pm] |
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mood |
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 old |
] |
Things that should not happen in my lifetime [or at least not while I'm still a teenager]:
#32 -- Dexter's Laboratory on Boomerang.
I remember when that shit first aired. What? o_o;
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[17 May 2008|12:46am] |
| [ |
music |
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heyoka | fractal elf |
] |
Bwarrr. I need to stop only updating this nonsense when I'm being emo. It's depressing. And it's senseless. And that's why...
It is time for another list! :]
- Am still at my parents' house. It's been shit [for the most part] and want to go hooommmme to Oly and my waifu. Mission accomplished. :]
- Teh waifu is slaving away at Rite Aid, poor thing. Am looking for work here so can get moneys for apartment when get back to Oly. Am working for Moony's dad, and probably will end up getting some scary temp job. Eek.
- Am starting the couch-to-5k thing, because it has recently come to my attention whilst trying to practise vaults today that am ridiculously out of shape and cannot run for over a minute without dying. Think still have asthma. Bahh. Did week one run today. Got a stitch. Terribly sad. -.-;
- Er...? Have recently gotten very into steampunk. Is very interesting genre. This is sad, as gives me more infinite reasons to make senseless costumes. Still need to make SCA garb for Sayid. Also, now want to make Elizabethan boy garb. So now have to make:
- for sayid:
- long chemise
- pants o_o
- kaftan
- surkaftan
- turban?
- for random elizabethan/victorian boy [two of each in respective period]
- shirts. [w/ gathers/yoke. bah.]
- knee breeches?
- also must find boots... ren boots and combat/tanker/motorcycle boots.
- must also procure goggles since bryan stole mine.
- ...Is ridiculous.
- Have just typed "[/li][/ul][/li][/ul][/li][br]" to end those inner lists. How absurd. x_x;;
- Need to make friends in Oly. Bwar.
- Also need to get coffee shop job in Oly as am excellent barista who is v. good at latté art. Yay. Have applied for other scary corporate retail whore jobs, but will look around downtown when get back.
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| Eh. |
[02 May 2008|06:52am] |
:\
I kind of miss being a girl.
I was rummaging through some huge plastic tote o' pictures that I found in the basement, and there's all these photographs from like... when I was really small and playing soccer, and when I was like twelve and I got Pierre [my mixer] for Christmas and my hair was down my back, and the Charleston summer when I was with Meagan and Joy and my hair was an afro. Or when my parents and I went to Maui and I was still skinny and awkward with braces and really bad eyeshadow, and my dad got drunk at the luau and yelled lewd comments at the hula girls.
I think mostly, though, I just miss innocence and contentment. I miss my parents liking me; I miss seeing them smile. For real, I mean. When they smile now, it's even sadder than when they cry. They're heartbroken by who their little straight-A Baptist girl grew up to be.
In that tote was a plastic bag with a special assortment of pictures in it... me in preschool, with my hair natural and in those ridiculous three ponytails [two in the back, one on top of my head], the whodunit book I wrote and bound and won a million awards with in fourth grade ["I'm nine years old and I LOVE school!"], a Mother's Day pancake breakfast in bed, me kicking some serious ass at soccer in seventh grade... and then nothing... until my graduation photos: acne airbrushed away and makeup Photoshopped on. The plastic, grown-up version of the perfect suburban girl I was in middle school.
I dunno. For a second I just wanted to grow my hair out, all at once right now and greet mum when she gets home with the bread pudding I used to make. I'm getting tired of feeling like... I wasted my parents' time. I just want to see them happy again. My mother's aged fifteen years since I came out to her.
I know, it's entirely not my fault. I deserve to be who I am and not feel guilty about it.
I dunno. Being in this house isn't fun at all... at least now I know why I can't stay here.
I just hope one day I can be okay again. Y'know? I never thought I'd miss high school.
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| teh OMGz!!1 |
[02 Apr 2008|03:39am] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
"Whoa who is _sotragic again?"
Yeah, yeah. I am actually updating for the first time in a bamillion years.
Obviously, since I lack the mental faculties to actually write a decent entry, it is list tiemz!
Things That Have Happened to the Risu Since a Bamillion Years Ago:
- I finally got into Hollins, did lots of strange things, promptly got married, and dropped off the face of the earth.
- I've been to more of the United States in the past four months than I have in my entire life, which is something I can only be so thrilled about... XD
- I spent two months living in the back of a Quick Mart!
- Last week was spent driving from Virginia to Washington, which is a feat I am quite proud of, having nearly lost my life sliding down the Bitterroot Mountains [of the Rockies] into Spokane.
- As soon as I gets my moneys, the spouse and I are going to check out farms on which to learn our Craft and hopefully live... I will be rugged and manly and probably grow a beard. At last, my life's dream of bearded mountain shepard-man is realised!!11 =D
So that's about it, really. Will update more often as have nothing better to do with my life. Har har.
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| portrait of the artist as a jaded ninth-grader |
[12 Dec 2007|01:09am] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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niggy tardust |
] |
Mum put all of my shit into a bunch of boxes in the basement, and when I was looking for my measuring tape [I never found the damned thing, which is probably a good thing], I found some stuff from my summer English class in ninth grade. XD
Mr. Lucas gave us five minutes to write journals at the beginning of every day, and they had to be half a page long. Here are some of the more ridiculous ones.
( Black hoodies and emo glasses. )
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[17 Sep 2007|10:56am] |
I dunno.
I really do need to be alone every now and then to organise my thoughts. When people are around, I'm too busy trying to respond appropriately to them to think about anything. Lately, I get fatigued really easily by being around people.
So now I'm alone until 2:30, and I'm sitting in my corner of the room in my binder and boxers and jeans with the floor-length mirror beside me trying to figure out whether I see myself in it.
It's getting really tiring thinking of gender all the time.
Sometimes I'm just like, "WTF, why am I making this so difficult? Other people don't worry about this shit; why should I?"
The thing is, it really shouldn't matter. I should be able to stop worrying about fitting into boxes, because there should be no boxes. If people would just learn to recognise the fact that there are not only two genders, we'd be fine. But really,
that would take an upheaval of our entire society. I'd be happy if
bathrooms were not segregated by sex
everything wasn't ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls
stores just had "clothing" departments
human experience as portrayed by the media wasn't entirely dichotomy-centric
And I realise that continuing this list would basically be writing a full description of Western and most human societies.
So yeah, it may change, and one day maybe everything will be gender-neutral, or at least gender won't be assigned... but that's going to take decades, or centuries.
So what do you do now, when you suddenly find yourself playing eenie-meenie-minie-moe in front of the bathrooms, and people glare at you no matter which one you end up picking?
I dunno. I don't want to be a girl.
I don't want to be a boy, either, really. I'd rather exist between, or in both worlds, but
in this society, you've got to fit into either, or none at all. You can't be both. You're either one or you're nothing. You're not accepted in boys' and girls' clubs; you're excluded from both of them.
I dunno.
Sometimes I just get tired of feeling like an anachronism, you know?
I meant to write something intelligent, but I guess I'm just in an angsty whiny mood.
I want to do things; I want to change society, if only a little. But sometimes I'm afraid I just lack the energy.
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